I need everyone, but especially folks who are newer to the leather scene, to remember that one of the most important things you can do is go to the bar and talk to leather folks. Go to the bar and integrate it - being with all types of leather folks is what has kept us alive throughout our history.
Don't silo yourself into only interacting with the dykes if you're a dyke. Don't only talk to men if you're a man. Don't stick with the 25 year olds if you're 25.
Are there going to be people you don't like? People who are annoying? People with bad opinions? Are you going to have to push out the cop and uniform apologists? Yeah. But those people exist in your smaller groups too.
Leather is a community. That means having strong friendships, acquaintances, comrades, etc. who aren't like you. Who you might not want to fuck. Who you might not want to make bleed. People who will bring you to their events, who will vet you to others, who will collaborate you on projects, who you can learn from, who can learn from you.
I think about when Cynthia Slater entered the Catacombs for the first time. Sure the men raised their eyebrows for a minute, but then she was welcomed with open arms and fisted with abandon. And everyone treasured her presence there, even though she wasn't a gay man. And because of her, the Catacombs began welcoming broader groups of leather folks. More leather community got to experience what is widely regarded as one of the most magical leather spaces to have existed.
I think about how the leatherdykes showed up for leathermen during AIDS. That even though they were not running in the same parties or fucking each other all the time (certainly they were sometimes), they saw their kin in crisis and helped. And were some of the ONLY people who did. Because that's what leather community is and does - we don't leave each other behind.
Some of my dearest friends in leather are not leatherdykes, they're not people I'd fuck, they're not people I'd fall in romantic love with, but they are so fucking important to me. We nerd out about history, we go to and service events put on by our loved ones, we meet each others friends and gush to them about each other. We keep each other safe. We hold each other when the world fucks us once again.
If you're lucky enough to have a leather bar, or a bar where leather folks gather, near you, GO THERE AND TALK TO PEOPLE. Make friends and don't be a fucking asshole about it. Leather is about us all and keeping each other and our culture alive and thriving. Be a part of that.
