DuckWrangler @buttblasted-by-banshees - Tumblr Blog

I am whatever the opposite of a speed runner is. I am a game meanderer. I have to look at literally everything. I am overly cautious in every way. I forget to pause and wander away from the game. I take a minimum 7 hours to get through any given level. If you give me a timer I will cry.

json-derulo

@jullyakie-styles @mjd08 @the-jarl-of-atlantis @iwannabeabrapper-blog1 @dorstos @hussy87-blog @fractured-writings-incorporated @lizzerss @polina2dt @tatiegagathe @smokeweedhailskatin @poransu @battlehallrattleball @mrsanchezmiller @kala-the-reinqueer @blindicarus @the-merry-prankster @boggblog @zibz21 @zellyz @clarinet-hunter @bunchadingdangdoodles-blog @ekuubo @uniqso @spooder-mang @family-guy-salt @broblooded-blog @yourmotheractually @imyourbff @clauchans @garnetsnowflake1997 @violettdreams @lordofthechins-blog @agentleforce @freelancer-kentucky @minguskingus @andumbwaehnjerk-blog @yourfeels-meannothing @thecattydddy @wickedicecream951 @runescapeghost @thatlilyface721 @rosco616 @welcometosharkweek @felinecharms-moved-blog @numacakes @dead-minarota @bobcatangel @rainbowreverie @eureka34 @demonsandanxiety @tsuritamathursdays @that-second-thing-blog @thechildofchristmas @shinjiscup @jxm7028-blog @reed-richards-ass-smoothies @fanimegirl25 @hempdragonsalvatore2016-blog @official-blue-team @light-returned @toothpastecomics @askthetime @sentiment-is-a-chemical-defect

ok

Wax Drip

heh heh…

sort of, uh… heh

kinda looks like uh… heh, you know…

purified-zone

What do you see? What does it look like, Supercumrat64? Why don’t you share it with the class, Supercumrat64?

tsunamiwavesurfing

fresh up out the durag wavy, make you haters sea sick

niggasandcomputers

Gentrification

gods-sun-deactivated20150119

Whateva Wigga

tsunamiwavesurfing

oh you mad cause i’m surfin on ya

lifeisgoodvades-deactivated2019

Lmfao yo I’m dead

lovepeaceandfunk

Here y’all go snatching up pieces of our culture, YET AGAIN.

tsunamiwavesurfing

can’t hear you over the motion of this ocean

noclipnigga

Your head look like a Homer Simpson sofa butt imprint

tsunamiwavesurfing

you david hasselhoff, you wave watchin

thighetician

immentallydeficient-deactivated

okay i just realized they meant "fascist" and not atleast 2 other words i can think of that are funnier

kymeira

lizawithazed

The signs are a clever touch cause it means they can’t just remove the audio

kainimuramonster

THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU FORGET TO RINSE THE TUB OUT AFTER USING A LUSH INTERGALATIC BATHBOMB!

He’s fine. He got a bath.

Lush glitter is made of seaweed.

ishkia

I hope you don’t mind but I drew your cat

moranion

i mean, this is pretty much the pinnacle of all things good and bright. a glitter kitty.

halo-magicmoon

The void now has stars.

dreamsequencer

Colorguard kitty!

artemisnightingale216

Sparkle Kitty

speremint

why am i allowed to draw

ifitaintbaroque

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

ifitaintbaroque

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

ifitaintbaroque

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

ifitaintbaroque

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

goatbran-deactivated20190407

please give us updates

ifitaintbaroque

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.

ifitaintbaroque

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

antique-scarecrow

op will not die of natural causes

ifitaintbaroque

That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts

weonsinnombre

steadfast-deactivated20210221

This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks!

darcyshire

I try SO hard not to make faces when I hear someone around me say wild shit but I just can’t stop myself

hemightbegiant-deactivated20210

I love pranks that aren’t at the expense of others.

My favorite prank that I pulled was when I worked at a hotel that was across from an old theater. Behind the desk, we had autographed pics of the celebrities that stayed at the hotel.

So one year for April Fools, I printed a black and white picture of myself, signed it and put it on the wall behind the desk.

There it sat…in plain view…for 1.5 years.

One day a guest was checking in and my boss just so happened to be behind the desk with me. The guest is looking at the pics and gets to my pic and says “Wait…is that you?”

My boss looks at it and says “Luke, why are you on the wall?” (He was Indian with an English accent so it makes it even better the way he said it.)

I replied “That was my April fools joke…from over a year ago! This guy was the first person to notice it!”

The guest laughed, I laughed, my boss just rolled his eyes and told me to take it down.