Holy Shit Bits!

Roan, 30, he/him

[omgpostsplease]

jack: the tv show copied us!

Pt. (1) (2) (2.5) (3) (3.5)

[omgpostsplease]

Pt. (1) (2) (2.5) (3) (3.5)

[fffuckthelaxbros]

I made some Samwell Student memes

[sweatersandpie]

aunt judy needs to watch herself...

[fryguy]

can we talk about bitty’s other hand just pointing at his face?? and his neutral expression?? god i love this comic

[thottistani-deactivated20220220]

No gay has all 5:

- A job

- Good relationship with father

- Neurotypical brain

- Ability to top

- Driver’s license

[garbage-empress]

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

[omg-zuko]

I absolutely adore Ngozi and check please but I have so many questions about Samwell hockey,,, well actually one question, is there a women’s team?? Please tell me there’s a women’s team, this gay ass school has to have a women’s team

[unacaritafeliz]

Can't believe Ngozi invented hockey

[omgcheckplease]

[marquisdehockey]

So I was inspired by this post about things that Sidney Crosby has reportedly done, and I couldn’t help thinking about what Kent Parson’s would look like:

Unconfirmed rumours of cat thefts

Once drank cocoa pops out of a yard glass, threw up

The Roller Derby Incident

Missed a week of hockey after breaking the table he was dancing on

Crashed a Samwell frat party, challenged everyone to beer pong

Got caught drinking gin out of a water bottle. When asked why he wasn’t using his (unsubtle) hip flask, explained that that was for straight espresso

Keeps tweeting #same with pictures of rainbows

Broke into Patrick Kane’s car and stole his parking slip. Kane got a ticket

Stole the ticket Patrick Kane got. Kane was given another ticket. Parson then put the first ticket back

Played air hockey with a hockey stick

Bought ten bottles of orange juice “because they’re on sale”

Got his jersey torn up by his (then) kitten. Covered it up by buying a Parson jersey from the Aces shop and wearing that on the ice

Trained his cat to play fetch

Successfully evaded press by wearing a fake mustache and glasses

Got a summer job at a supermarket, even though the managers had no idea who he was. This was almost certainly because he lost a bet

Can run in stiletto heels

[bittybakespie]

Here’s your daily reminder that Ngozi wrote an entire 4 season, award-winning webcomic just because one time in college she and her friend were in the library having a conversation about how many people at Yale were LGBTQ+ (one in four, maybe more) and Chad from the Yale hockey team interrupted with, “haha not on the hockey team!” Like….Check, Please! was basically created just to spite that one guy and honestly… iconic.

[xen-xa]

A few months after officially coming out, Bitty uploads a blooper video of all the times Jack has accidentally and purposely interrupted his shoots.

Half the video is of Jack stealing a kiss. Or many kisses. All the kisses.

He had to kiss ‘em.

[xiaq]

Hey quick question: IS WHISKEY KISSING CHAD L?? Is that what’s happening here? 

[jackzimmermannn]

Whiskey being a top-scorer and bagging an upperclassman Captain:

[17piesinseptember]

Jack keeps kissing Bitty randomly during New Year’s Eve. During the middle of his speech, waiting outside the bathroom for him, while he’s tying his bowtie, pulled over on the side of the road on the way to dinner, right before he goes to drink his champagne. Bitty eventually asks him why. Turns out, Jack’s been kissing him any time it’s New Year’s anywhere around the world (“Because you’re meant to start the New Year how you intend it to play out, and I want to be with you. Figured it can’t hurt to be thorough.”)

[jackzimmermannn]

“so I sampled colors from a burning building”. This is hilarious to me.

[edgarallanrose]

TWO HOUSEHOLDS, BOTH ALIKE IN DIGNITY

IN FAIR SAMWELL, WHERE WE LAY OUR SCENE

[wrathofthestag]

From ancient beef break to new mutiny, Where LAX blood makes hockey hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two bros A pair of star-cross’d lovers give no deets; Whole teams are ready to go to blows Do with their kiss bury their captains’ strife.

[hockeyrobotlove]

I can’t fully articulate my feelings about whiskey yet so here’s Bully (RIVER!!!!) just absolutely serving

[ericfuckingbittle]

ok im excited as all of you that whiskey is One Of Us but can we take a second to remember that the dude Literally Just Got Outed which is an Extremely Unfun Situation and his relationship with bitty is probably gonna be rough for a while since even tho bitty didnt Choose to see it whiskey is probably gonna take it as a breach in trust

also sidenote i trust ngozi with all my gay heart to handle this plotline with so much respect and care bless