humanity is a the most terrifying gift.

hello! I'm a horrible person, but you'll have to bear with me!

[chryswatchesgot]

Chrys Watches Got [x] / requests for individuals [x]

[aenhanse]

‘Cause, you know what, no matter how many times I get hit, I always get back up. And I got a lot of time to reflect and work on myself. Did you know that seahorses, that they mate for life? Could you imagine? A seahorse seeing another seahorse and then making it work?

[willowofthehearth]

[source]

Been thinking a LOT about what modern hearthcraft looks like. The intersection of my practice and my politics. The celtic tradition of hospitality…

This person NAILS IT.

#goals

[synebluetoo]

A dude…thought to bring tampons…what

[midnigtartist]

[Insert clever egg-dick joke here]

[thisisshitposting]

[jvarasuras-hell-deactivated2020]

Fucking LOVE 90s and early 2000s commercials

[im-the-batmann]

“Looks so real” bitch, your 10 year old son literally just got fucked up by a professional wrestler in your own living room. Shut the fuck up and help your child, damn.

[87437732156806533-deactivated20]

[leander-ligo]

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

People who prefer hot weather: Snow and ice are a pain, and the cold is just kind of uncomfortable even when you wrap up, you know?

People who prefer cold weather: MY SKIN LITERALLY MELTS OFF EVERY SUMMER I AM A FUCKING HUMAN SOUP AS WE SPEAK

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

you wouldn’t believe how many people reblogged this to whine about hot weather in the tags.

[nucleic-friend-deactivated20171]

too cold? put on another layer!

too hot? change into thinner clothes!

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? uh, get naked I guess?

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? Ţ̡̜̮̗̟̯͘ͅA̛͈͎̤͙̳̦̱̜̺̪K̢̻̥̥̥̪̙̜̩̗̼̤̻̻͖͍̜͈͉͠ͅE̟͕̩͔̪͓͔̥̦͇̣͇̳͕͉͜ͅ ̠̝̥̖̭̦̼́͝O̩̦͓̠͉̲̲̱̪̹̻̼̭̯͎͈̕͢F̷̸̢̛̙͇͔̜̙̮̗̲̤͇̯͡F̧̨̱̤̲̫͕͔̼̭͙̠̙͙̹̻ͅ ҉̫̠͓̙̠͔̕͜͠Y͡҉̴̘̭̬̳́O̶̶̧͚̞̣̯̩̫̜̩͉̤͎͖̖͟ͅU̶̵̺̠̪̘̱̮̮̙̻͈̣̦̭͠͝͞R̨҉̦̺͓̩̺͖̘̪̥̺͚̱͚͔̪͓̖̰ ̷̸̺͇̳͇̖̥̻̳͚̗̥͙̪̣́S̡̞̳͖̭̯͉̻̠͔̥̹̫̣̼̹͇͜K͏̧͍̪̗̖̜̫̙̱̫͈̟̝̮͈̻̺̯̟̠̀Į̧̙͙͔̠͖̟̕͝Ǹ͖͎̳͍̪̱̞͇̺̘̩͘͜͠

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

The cold is easily shut out, the heat is inescapable hell

[dashuramode]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT.

Avoidance techniques for the cold:

-more coats, fire, hot food and drink, stay inside, fuzzy sweaters, ear muffs, become a burrito

Avoidance techniques for heat:

-die, I guess.

[isharaytaoshay-deactivated20180]

FUCK. HEAT.

[stillweirdbutpretty]

Ya’ll weak. Shed your mortal flesh and bare yourself to the Sun. Cowards.

[sushinfood]

temperature succ

[kaijuno]

Reasons my new physics prof is adorable

- on the first day of class he brought his favorite toy truck from when he was a child - is from Argentina and has a cute accent and sometimes speaks in Spanish on accident - teaches us Spanish phrases for fun - very tall and awkward and has super curly hair that falls into his face constantly - giggles at his own jokes - on the second day of class he showed us pictures of his cat eating a salami - the cat’s name is Pants

[kaijuno]

- i saw his teaching notes today and he doodles little flowers in the margins of his notebook

[kaijuno]

- Brought us a smiley face balloon to cheer us up when the weather was bad

[kaijuno]

- played with legos for half the class

[kaijuno]

- likes balloons a whole lot

[kaijuno]

It’s now the middle of summer. I do research in the physics department, my office is right across the hall from his. And so:

- He knows I’m into observational astronomy and despite him being a nuclear astrophysicist himself he will email me (and some of the other observationalists) interesting articles and videos about astronomy, usually and around 2am, the poor insomniac

- He became a dad yesterday! In his email he said “sorry, I won’t be in this week, I’ll be frantically googling how to take care of a newborn instead”

- his last name is Estrada and so I simply replied “congratulations on becoming an Estradad!!!” To which he replied “:D”

[notapplicableexistance-deactiva]

Pure

[quacktales]

[vaporwavevocap]

Good post.

[blind3dbylight]

Donald Duck finally gets some goddamn recognition around here.

[tracer-isms]

reblog if you love and respect Donald Duck in your house

[eponymous-rose]

Keyleth Appreciation Post

Did you know that there are some seeds that cannot sprout unless they are first burned?

[x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

(the tags aren’t working so I’ll just @criticalrolesource - feel free to delete this line)

[wheeloffortune-design]

I want to apologise to

- Britney for making fun of her when she had her breakdown

- Monica Lewinski for judging her when she was a 22year old temp sexually assaulted by the most powerful man in the world

- Ke$ha for ever thinking she was trashy when all she wanted to do was make party music

- Kristen Stewart for ever thinking she was dumb when she’s actually one of the coolest people ever

- Megan Fox for ever thinking she was just a slut when actually she was an actress being harassed by her employer. 

- Hating all the women who made a career out of having a hot body. Being is shape is hard, beauty is a weapon and auto promotion is hard work. 

- All the Mary-Sues, who exist because young girls everywhere want to be part of a story they love so much

- All the female characters I ever snobbed because they got in the way of my ship.

- Hating the color pink during my teenage years, when it’s actually a lovely color and what I resented was society’s pressure to perform femininity. 

[amazingakita]

people who dont even care about language: how can you just CHANGE grammar??? add new wORds?? unacceptable!!! language must never change!!!!!11 kids these days cant even spell!!

people who study language: ANARCHY!! ANARCHY!!!! LANGUAGE IS FLUID AND WORDS AREN’T REAL!! change! the! grammar! rules!! burn a dictionary!!! NO ONE CARES!!!!!

[felixjoyful]

Some goon : This word is made up.

Me, an intellectual : As all words are.

[teathattast]

bless

[cybereihino-deactivated-deactiv]

Only tik tok video that’s valid

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald’s shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said “what you’re gonna do is go to Arby’s, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake.” And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I see your concern y’all but this wasn’t a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn’t even know I was on.

[forrestsandfeathers0]

You fool, that was Arby himself.

[flagellant]

step 1: be a mortal

step 2: hear the voices of the divine

step 3: ???

step four: prophet

[mcchillmydude]

God-tier joke my dude

[graanger]

[psychiclianna]

chaotic good

[yourplayersaidwhat]

(Context: I had a magic giraffe that traveled at light speed, but every time I summon him there’s a 30% chance that everyone in his path dies)

Cleric: there’s literally no way to get this door open. (It’s a enchanted door)

Wizard(me): I HAVE AN IDEA. I SUMMON GEROME.

Bard: please don’t.

DM: alright, everyone roll percentage

*everyone rolls*

DM: well… you all get one shotted into space, dying instantly. Since you died, wizard, gerome has no summon point, so he never stops going at light speed. He goes around the whole earth killing millions in his path. He goes so fast he throws the earth out of orbit, and it collides with 6 other planets, causing them all to explode. You killed the entire universe with your giraffe. Are you happy?