@cerleansky // sam sax // dreireads, medium app// The Unsent Project// Audrey Niffenegger, "The Time Traveller's wife" // f. scott fitzgerald, "The Short Stories"// "Love is a Laserquest" by Arctic Monkeys// "All the young dudes" by MsKingBean89// Leah Horlick, from "For your own good"// "The corner I never unfold" by @teenytinydinosaurs// Kait Rokowski, from "The Civil Guillotine"// "Wishes" by Carter Ryan// private message// last two pictures from pinterest// quote from "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous" by Ocean Vuong.
@cerleansky // sam sax // dreireads, medium app// The Unsent Project// Audrey Niffenegger, "The Time Traveller's wife" // f. scott fitzgerald, "The Short Stories"// "Love is a Laserquest" by Arctic Monkeys// "All the young dudes" by MsKingBean89// Leah Horlick, from "For your own good"// "The corner I never unfold" by @teenytinydinosaurs// Kait Rokowski, from "The Civil Guillotine"// "Wishes" by Carter Ryan// private message// last two pictures from pinterest// quote from "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous" by Ocean Vuong.
Bad Luck Charm [18] (Dr. Jack Abbot x Neighbor!Reader)
Chapter Summary: You run headfirst into Jack while he is out on a date. Trying to be supportive, you give your all to make your relationship with him look as inconspicuous as possible. Jackβ¦ doesnβt.
Word Count: 7.8k
Tags/Warnings: neighbor!reader, f!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, age gap (reader doesnβt have a specific age, but the age gap will be thematized), no use of Y/N, no use of any specific physical descriptions for reader, reader has the worst luck ever, reader needs therapy, reader is a people pleaser, awkward!reader, slow burn, yearning, Jack is an idiot, reader is an idiot of another sort, idiots in love, Jack is kinda acting ungentlemanly, repressed feelings
English is not my first language, so please excuse any grammar mistakes or typos.
A/N: Sorry for the wait, I was struggling, I am struggling, I will be struggling. Maybe not my best, but the best I can give rn.
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Rain is hammering down on you, drenching you to the bone without mercy, a pesky chill clinging to you and spreading along your limbs.
You have to focus hard to see your surroundings, distinguish between sidewalk and street, if the red light is telling you to stop or if itβs just the glare of a fast-food joint behind it. The rainclouds hanging low and menacing atop the city had obscured both the sunβs light and warmth far sooner than you expected and now heavy raindrops are falling into your face with a ferocity that has you wondering what weather deity you could have possibly offended this time. It feels like a personal attack for sure.
Of course, the one evening you are forced to stay out late, the skies open up on you. Of course, itβs a surprise weather change no broadcaster or app had foretold to such an extent. Ergo, you are not carrying an umbrella and are forced to use your hand to shield your eyes in order to not walk home completely blinded.
Itβs proven rather ineffective for the distance you had to cover, but you arenβt ready to fully give up yet.
After blinking a few times and making sure all the traffic has stopped, you hurry over the flooded street, shoes getting soaked with every step. At this point you donβt even care about being wet all over. You just want to get home and change into a comfy pajama set, prepare a mug of any kind of warm drink, and let the evening play out in peace and quiet.
You arenβt that far from your apartment building anymoreβa small reprieve at least. The promise of arriving soon has you pick up your pace, motivation kicking in. Being in a familiar area makes you pay less attention, not questioning your navigation skills much longer and prioritizing shielding your eyes from the onslaught of rain.
In retrospect, you shouldβve been more considerate. With your luck you are bound to not make it home accident free and in being careless like that itβs no surprise when you include other people in your troublesome fate.
So, itβs barely a surprise when you ram straight into a couple after making it to the other side of the road safely. Your head collides abruptly with someoneβs arm and you stumble back, shocked, and embarrassed.
There is a moment where everyone involved has their moment to let out a startled sound, then you rush to apologize, βOh Cheese, Iβm so sorry, I wasnβt looking where I was going. Really, Iβm so sorry! Excuse me!β
You donβt lift your gazeβnot that you would be able to look at anyone anyways with the water running down your lashes and dripping into your eyesβand begin to lower your head even further in some sort of apologetic bow, hoping and praying your collision partners arenβt of the sort to make a big deal out of such a situation.
Not that you give them much time to do so anyways. You barely manage to come up with enough patience to murmur another quick apology, then you begin to walk away.
Unfortunately, your hope for less trouble is foiled almost immediately. After only a handful of steps taken away from your latest victims, you hear your name being called in question.
Faltering, you wonder if youβd imagined Jackβs voice echoing through the white noise of the rain. But when you turn to check over your shoulder and squint to look past the sheets of water separating you, he is there. No fantasy or hallucination, just Jack peeking at you beneath an umbrella.
And a woman on his arm.
You donβt clock that at first, only seeing that he has a companion by his side. But when he takes a step in your direction the womanβs arm is stretched with his movement and itβs obvious.
Your eyes remain on that little detail for only a second, before you look back into your neighborβs face. βJack! Hi! What are you doing here?β
Itβs a stupid question, as itβs rather obvious that he is walking home, just like you. But with the presence of someone else around, you lose your newfound ability to be more or less normal around Jack, your gaze flickering to the other person, gauging her reaction. You are unsure whatβs even happening right now, donβt know what to think, how to react, if it would be weird for you to flee.
Itβs definitely something you wish to do right away, but manners and the knowledge that it would be weird to just dip after a hasty greeting is whatβs making you stay.
If only you could be inconsiderate for once.
Rain continues to fall onto your form, soaking into every crevice you have to offer, but with your attention fixed on the pair in front of you, you can almost forget what a pitiful sight you are currently depicting.
βWho is this?β The woman speaks up before Jack can answer your superfluous questions, her voice smooth like honey, confident, without a hint of insecurity.
She doesnβt ask because she sees a threat in you. Not that that is even debatable at all. Her big, endlessly deep eyes peer at you with pure curiosity while her glossy lips are curved into a polite smile.
You canβt help but notice and admire her natural beauty, the way her dark skin is glowing as if the humidity is aiding her looks instead of ruining it like it does with you. She is tall, slender and it takes no more than a furtive glance to see the grace she is holding herself with. Itβs both hypnotizing and intimidating at the same time.
You look back at Jack, waiting for him to make introductions, unsure who you are standing in front of. It takes him a moment, focus steady on you, standing there frozen and with an expression on his face as if heβs seeing a ghost.
Maybe the downpour is distorting you enough for it to look like it. Your sodden appearance surely plays into the bit.
After a longer than comfortable pause, you canβt stand the silence any longer and smile at Jackβs company. βIβm his neighbor.β
βSheβs my friend,β Jack speaks hastily over you only with the slightest delay.
He clears his throat, eyes boring into you as if he is trying to force some kind of silent message into your head.
You let out an uncertain hum, grinning awkwardly and quickly let your gaze jump between the pair, not sure who to look at.
βOh, lovely to meet you. Iβm Kristine. I guess I am a friend of Jackβs as well.β The woman smiles wider at you and you return the gesture in kind. βNice to meet you too.β
You mean the sentiment, even when you believe she is downplaying her relationship with Jack a bit. You arenβt stupid. With him wearing slacks and a button up underneath his jacket and Kristineβs elegant calf-length dress peaking out from underneath her trench coat, you can piece things together fairly quick.
They are on a date, no doubt.
You ignore the funny feeling spreading along your spine and squint at them, deciding to let them be and depart as soon as possible before more ruthless emotions can bubble up to the surface. The dull thrum of something doesnβt need to be analyzed deeper while you can feel every single piece of clothing you wear sticking to your skin.
βUhmβ¦ so yeah, Iβm going home nowβ¦ uhβ¦ Sorry for bumping into you guys. Andβ¦ have a nice evening?β Youβre not sure what else to say, but you need to get going now before you are forced to talk more and risk looking like an even bigger fool.
You donβt even want to imagine what a sight you must be to them. Some sort of grotesque stray, interrupting their outing and keeping them from escaping the rain? Seems about right.
Mortification is quicky rising inside you, yet you do your utmost to push it down, not deeming it the right moment to linger. You wipe the copious amounts of rain from your forehead and eyesβnot that it does anything with more rain pouring down continuouslyβand send them both a half-convincing smile while waving your hand in a goodbye.
βWait!β Jack calls before you even manage to fully turn away and you watch in horror as he takes a few steps in your direction without thinking. In his haste to reach you, he fails to remember that two people are occupying the umbrella he is holding up and a moment later there is a surprised sound coming from Kristine, when her cover is abruptly taken from her and rain starts falling onto her neatly styled hair.
Jack doesnβt spare her another glance or tries to detect the reason for the noise. He just runs up next to you, tilting the rainshade in a way that shields you from the cold drops landing on you.
βItβs raining,β he rasps the obvious, searching for your eyes and immediately locking onto them when you let him. You stare back at him bewildered, heart pounding treacherously in your chest and overpowering the rainfall drumming onto the waterproof fabric above you.
The respite is short lived. Reality making a comeback, slamming into you like a freight train. You swiftly reach for Jack, pushing him away.
βJack! I know itβs raining. What about Kristine?β You throw a quick look in her direction, watching her raise a hand to hide her face from the onslaught of water pelting down onto her all of a sudden, turning to the side in search for shelter.
It takes another second and an urgent look from you to Jack for him to finally snap out of it. He swivels around, realizing he just left his date to fend for herself, but stands still, hesitating. You donβt give him another chance to possibly be torn between you and her, pushing him even harder in her direction.
βIβm fine Jack, Iβm already soaked, no need to play the hero now.β
Your words seem to have the intended effect, Jack briskly scrambling back over to her and putting the umbrella over her head again.
βIβm sorry, IΒββ
βYou forgot all about me!β Kristine laughs warmly, pushing a few wet strands of hair out of her amused face. You watch her shaking her head in disbelief, but when she looks back at Jack you donβt get the impression that she is awfully cross with him. At least she can still muster to give him a beaming smile which he definitely doesnβt deserve.
An amalgamation of emotions rush through youβdisappointment, relief, embarrassmentβ you arenβt sure which one takes the lead in the end. You only know, you need to get away from this situation, to not make it your problem and stop interrupting a couple from enjoying their night.
Swallowing hard, you wring your hands, fingers near frozen and skin wrinkled up. Would it be weird for you to just disappear now? You already said your goodbyes; was another one necessary or could you just run now?
The decision is taken from you when Jack turns his attention back to you yet again.
You canβt help but glare at him through the rain, trying and failing to tell him without words, that he should be solely focused on the woman whose arm finds its way back into the crook of his elbow.
He has no business eyeing you up when there is a formidable lady holding onto him.
βWhy are you out so late? And why are you running around without an umbrella?β Jack sounds accusatory, almost furious and the frown on his face confirms his displeasure tenfold.
The sudden assault has your hackles rising instantly, arms crossing in front of your chest, rainwater squishing between your layers.
You canβt remember Jack ever speaking to you in such a tone. Like he has a right to be angry with you or that youβve broken a rule he has set. You donβt understand where this ire is coming from, but you donβt appreciate it one bit.
βOh, Iβm sorry, I didnβt know I wasnβt allowed to go out anymore. Next time I have a doctorβs appointment in the afternoon Iβll make sure to inform you first, so you can plan ahead and not accidentally run into me.β At the defensive bite in your voice Jack falters a bit, hand coming up in a deescalating gesture.
βIβm not saying that. Itβs justβ¦ itβs dark outside and youβre alone and itβs raining. With your track record you should be more mindful.β You know he isnβt wrong per se, but for whatever reason you feel miffed by his gruff tone. Eyebrows drawn, you huff, βWell, I was on my way home just now. So, no need to worry anymore.β
βYou know I always worry about you.β
Whether that was intentionally said or simply slipped out, you arenβt sure. By the looks of it, Jack canβt decide either, his expression changing between somewhat shocked and looking completely resolute in his remark.
Jackβs honesty does calm you down though, your irritation waning while your pulse spikes. Itβs frustrating how a single sentence from him is able to melt away the irritation just as quickly as it had come.
You canβt help but assess Kristineβs reaction to the words, being met with her thoughtful gaze flicking between the two of you. You promptly avert your eyes and shake your head.
βNo need for that tonight. You clearly have other priorities.β You donβt try to make it sound like a jab but rather like the reminder it isβJack flinches anyways.
To buffer the blow, you give him an encouraging smile, showing goodwill and that you arenβt mad at him.
You have no right to be.
Jack isnβt doing anything wrong. You can imagine he must be feeling tense, stumbling into you out in the wild while heβs taking someone on a date. You know, you would be too if the roles were reversed.
Maybe he feels uneasy with you accidentally prying into his private life, maybe he thinks itβs weird to be seen by you under such a delicate circumstance.
Not to mention, that you obviously arenβt helping the situation by being your usual awkward self.
Somehow you are even leading Jack to look possessive and irrational in front of his date, as if he has forgotten all common sense and manners. You canβt have thatβdonβt want to ruin his chances with someone because you acted like a brat in front of them. Itβs only right to consider Jackβs emotions right now, not your own.
You can do that, can ignore the little cynic voices in the back of your head, urging you to continue on making a scene and break apart the happy couple for selfish gains. Itβs something youβll have to deal with later, or maybe you can suffocate the burn spreading along your nerves into nonexistence all together.
Right now, definitely isnβt the right moment to venture into a territory of insecurity or jealousy. You will have plenty of time to go there when youβre not drenched to the bone and standing in front of the person causing all those confusing feelings.
But they are your personal issues to deal with, no need to involve anyone else. No need to drag anyone else down with you.
βWe were just going to Jackβs place. Why not walk together?β Kristineβs voice cuts through the rain like the warm rays of the sun. It has you baffled, looking back to her to check if you can see any indication that she is just putting on an act and might secretly try to tell you with a discrete twinkle in the eye to fuck off.
But when you scan her face, all you find is the same warmth her voice carries. Her dark eyes are focused on you, yet it doesnβt feel like there is any accusation sent your way. Just a polite offer.
βUhβ¦ sure. Yeah, I meanβ¦ if youβre okay with that? If-if Jack is okay with that?β
You both end up waiting for him to react and he takes his sweet time with an actual answer, pretty much just staring at you, brows furrowed and jaw clenched.
After seconds of nothing he at last nods. βRight. Itβs the same way, obviously. No need to separate.β
You wish he wouldβve come up with a reason to delay his return so you couldβve walked back in peace. The idea of trudging along with the couple and either being forced to do small talk or worse, listen to them get to know each other better is nauseating. The trip canβt end quickly enough.
Hesitantly and with the grace of an awkward teenager you gesture for Jack and his date to get going, waving them on like a damn usher. Without saying anything else they follow your silent request and walk past you.
You donβt miss the way Jackβs eyes donβt leave you until the very last second, but you donβt waste your energy in trying to deduce what thoughts his unreadable face might be hiding. You simply slot in behind them, the rain soaking you even more with the drops jumping off their umbrella right into your face.
Fucking fantastic.
βSo, youβre friends you say?β Kristineβs voice manages to penetrate the dense air, forcing you look up from the ground. The woman has crouched down a bit to be able to look beneath the umbrellaβs edge and give you an inquisitive smile.
For a second you freeze, not having thought that she would actually make an effort to get to know you better after you purposely created space and an unspoken barrier between you. But perhaps she is just fishing for more information on Jack that doesnβt come directly from him. In order to not look rude, you find your voice after a short hesitation.
βUh, yeahβ¦ I-I mean we are neighbors withβ¦ well I am kind of all over the place and it leads to some chaotic situations and Jack is usually the unfortunate one to either save me from things or get involved in my troubles. It kinda happens so often that Iβve become a regular nuisance to him. And I guess, at some point we becameβ¦ friends.β
βWell, that certainly makes you sound like quite the gentleman. Iβm looking forward to hearing about some of your heroic moments,β she croons and her cleanly manicured hand pats Jack on the upper arm. He doesnβt react from what you can see.
You walk on for another minute, water still running in rivulets down your face, your clothes sticking to your body in the most uncomfortable way possible and puddles collecting inside your shoes, making you feel like youβve jumped into a pool fully clothed.
Still, itβs the silent trotting behind the couple that makes you feel the most uneasy. In a desperate attempt to make the anxious feeling in your chest subside, you ask, βSoβ¦ how-how do you two know each other?β
You donβt know why youβre asking and the second it comes out you are praying that the rain washed the question away. You know this is definitely none of your business and no matter what the answer will be, it surely wonβt give you less to think about, so you curse yourself even harder when your inquiry is not ignored in the end.
βAh, well, we have a mutual friend and it seems I was the first choice of recommendation when Jack mentioned that he was interested in dating again. We havenβt met before but I must admit, I was quite intrigued after hearing about him.β
βOh, yeah, I can imagine. Jack is great.β
The sentence is barely past your lips, when said man comes to sudden halt, making the rest of your peculiar trio stop as well. He turns his head at breakneck speed, capturing you in an intense stare down until you question what you had done to garner that kind of a visceral reaction.
It only dawns on you a few seconds later that agreeing with his brilliance could easily be interpreted as swooning over him, rather than talking him up to his date.
A good deed being mistaken as possible competition.
Eyes widening in realization, you almost choke on your own saliva, forgetting all your natural bodily functions with Jack peering at you.
βI mean, I obviously just see him as a friend. But if I was anyone else, Iβd be head over heels for him too. Of course, heβs not perfect, but he has a lot to offer. And Iβm saying this as a friend of his, so he is probably a really good partner in a romantic relationship.β
You have the impression, that with every word you say, Jackβs expression turns darker, which is exactly why you decide to shut up before trying to hype him up even more. Apparently, Jack isnβt appreciating it as a show of goodwill.
You wreck your brain, trying to identify if your mindless babbling had given up anything incriminating or unattractive about him, but come up empty.
Not being called perfect was just keeping things realistic and if you slapped it on too thick, it would sound once again like you were trying to convey your own interest in him. Something you wouldnβt dare do anywhere other than in your silliest dreams.
There is a shared moment of silence between you which is only broken when Kristine lets out a hearty laugh and Jackβs need for eye contact is interrupted by a nasty raindrop falling right into your eye a beat later.
You canβt help but blink rapidly, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, most likely looking as if you have a spastic attack all the while.
βWhy donβt you squeeze in under the umbrella with us?β Kristine decides to butt in, giving you a way out of standing around awkwardly.
Her offer manages to let an incredulous laugh spill from you lips which you just as quickly try to stifle, shaking your head.
βOh, no! Iβd rather not.β
βThen trade places with me at least. I donβt mind getting rained on,β Jack cuts in as well, already moving, pressing the umbrella handle into Kristineβs unsuspecting hands.
With a panic-stricken face, you reach out to him, holding him in place before he can step into the cloudburst.
βWhat? No! Jack, come on now. Iβm already soaked. And itβs not even a big deal. Letβs just move along and not do anything illogical, okay? Iβll survive a little bit of rain, trust me.β
Your eyes ripped wide open, you try your best to express that you are serious and his idea is ridiculous.
It takes an astounding amount of stubbornly pushing against Jackβs arm for him to give in and turn back around, taking back the umbrella. You have to bite back a comment on how his ill-timed chivalry is actually forcing you to get rained on even longer, not wanting to make him look worse than Jack is already presenting himself.
Youβve never been gladder than when you finally get to move again, the couple continuing the way back home and you following like a lost puppy.
While nobody is paying you any attention for a change, you shake your head at Jack, silently reprimanding him for acting so thoughtlessly all of a sudden. Itβs so unlike his usual, collected self.
For your part, you had impressed with equally stupid, albeit predictable, words so far. Of course, that doesnβt make it any less bad, so when the memory comes echoing back, you slap your palm against your forehead multiple times as punishment for trying to play a supportive match-maker.
βWhy didnβt you take an uber home in this weather?β
It takes you a second to realize Jack is talking to you, fully expecting him to focus back on his date and ignore you in the rear. Your slight pause is taken as hesitation and instantly Jack is facing backwards again, scrutinizing you. You hold back a sigh.
βItβs not a long walk. That would be such a waste of money.β
βDonβt you have anything left? I thought I sent you enough last week. Why didnβt you tell me you were running out?β
βJack!β
He probably looks at you with the same level of disbelieve you do to him, but for entirely different reasons. Yours is definitely more valid though, after all you are affronted by him ignoring the bombshell of a woman to his left and fixating on all the wrong things.
You wish you could tell him exactly that, other than by glaring straight at his face. By the looks of it he seems too dense to catch your drift when he usually is so good at reading you like an open book.
βI donβt need more money,β you press out through clenched teeth in a futile endeavor to conceal your words.
You really donβt want Kristine to overhear and get the wrong impression, but Jack is acting as if even your damn grocery list would be more important than showering his date with the attention she deserves and the longer it goes on, the more you want to scream at him.
Why was he even going out with someone in the first place if he got distracted by completely irrelevant details regarding you?
Youβve never pried further into his Jackβs love life, never had the guts to, only roughly aware about his late wife, but now certain questions are close to bursting out.
When was the last time he went on a date? Was this a proper example of how they usually went for him? If so, it made sense that Jack remained single despite appearing like a catch from all the sides you had been able to see him before.
Uncertainty and nerves are bubbling up inside you and for once itβs not aimed at yourself but him.
Maybe he needed your help in steering this experience in the right direction before he messed up his chances with Kristine.
βIf you donβt need more than why arenβt you using it to get home safely?β
βBecause I wonβt indebt myself even more to you over useless trips with an uber,β you argue, voice becoming more desperate.
Your eyes keep skipping to the other woman, suspicious that she isnβt saying a peep and worried that she might already be over Jack and his peculiar behavior. It canβt feel too good to be sidelined and being forced to listen in on insiders between your date and a stranger.
Surprisingly, Kristine doesnβt seem all that bothered, face relaxed, lips upturned as if she is just enjoying the background noise while she is taking a walk on a rainy evening.
You can only imagine that there must be a volcano brewing underneath, just waiting for the right moment to erupt. Selfishly, you hope that only happens once you are safely back in your apartment.
βI really didnβt think you would take it seriously when we talked about you paying me back. Itβs not necessary. Just take my money and use it. Iβd rather see you safe than worrying about your spending habits.β Spoken like a rich doctor through and through.
You sigh loudly, licking rain from your lips and decide to once again safe Jackβs ass from seeming inattentive towards the other woman by spinning a tale about his generosity.
βOf course, I took our deal serious, Jack. We are neighborsβfriendsβsure. But I canβt just take money from you and not pay it back. Itβs a really nice gesture of you to help me during tough timesβ¦ like really, really nice, and considerate. I appreciate it a lot. But itβs a one-time thing, youβre helping me out just while Iβm scraping by this rough patch. And thatβs it. So, keep your money and spend it onβ¦ people who deserve it.β The *wink wink* is so heavily implied, that you donβt believe Jack can miss it.
That hope is decimated when he frowns at you as if you are the one needing help.
βIβll always help you, if you need me to. You already know that.β
βYeah, because you are an amazing friend. I can always count on youβ¦ bro.β A chill runs down your arms, cringe showing itself in physical form and it takes every last ounce of self-restraint to not display a more visceral reaction to your own words.
Jack luckily manages to wear an exceptional βwhat the fuck?β expression for both of you, staring at you with equal amounts of concern and confusion. He must be asking himself if he needs to bring you in for a psych eval, no doubt.
But really, what else can you do, other than blurting out the most obvious friendzone-y things to make it clear that Jack is not in fact treating you preferential because you are a woman he could be interested in?
He is accidentally making it seem like you arenβt just his silly little neighbor with a plethora of issues he deals with on the regular and you are sure Kristine wonβt be listening in on your squabble much longer, if you donβt make it obvious that Jackβs intentions with you are pure and innocent.
βAre you okay?β
βNever been better.β
After another moment of Jack watching you intently, deep lines forming between his brows, he finally turns his head back around, looking upfront and leaving you alone.
Perhaps he at last got your hint, perhaps not.
He doesnβt say anything to Kristine for the rest of the way, but at least he doesnβt speak to you again either.
There is such a massive amount of relief falling from your shoulders, when you reach your apartment complex, that you have to hold yourself back from running past the couple and sprinting up the stairs just to escape being a third-wheel for much longer.
You console yourself with the knowledge that the countdown has started, that youβre soon to be free and reunited with your bed where you will have a field day with overthinking every little interaction and hidden meaning of todays happenings.
The thoughts are already banging on their cages, ready to be released and run wild, making connections where none should be and showing you realities that could never happen.
Only a few minutes to go. You can do this!
Jack holds the entrance door open for both Kristine and you. Her black high heels click loudly on the tiled floors when she takes a few steps in. Your completely wet and dripping shoes are a stark contrast to them, squeaking and squelching along, making you feel like a duck wading through the moorlands.
You truly must be a sight for sore eyes, dragging a whole lake in with you. If you dared to shake the rain of now, you could most likely pass as a mutt or maybe a feral, overgrown toddler coming in with their parents. Jack and Kristine would play the part quite well, both of them looking composed and like actual adults, not like an absolute mess.
Huffing in the wake of your own misfortune, you splish-splash your way over to the elevator and press the button, barely mustering up the patience for it to come down. Why couldnβt it be on the correct level for once? Another win for your bad luck.
Jack and Kristine come up next to you not long after and without looking over, you can already feel his gaze running along your face. It takes your all not to turn the other side, extremely conscious of your side profile even on a good day. You donβt want to imagine what your newest drowned style is doing to your features.
While willing yourself to concentrate on literally anything else than this horrid reality, you raise your hands, shaking off more water and blowing on damn near frozen fingers in an attempt to warm them up. Itβs really more of a distraction than actually doing anything but you immediately regret your mindless action.
βHere, take this, you must be freezing.β There isnβt enough time to register the words and react accordingly before you can feel a weight settle around your shoulders. Floored, you turn your head, watching Jackβs hand adjust the collar of his jacket on your very person.
His warm fingers unintentionally drag across the sensitive skin on your neck and there is no denying that the following goosebumps are a direct result of that gentle touch.
You still fight that fact internally, making the rain responsible. Itβs the safer option.
Youβre too busy pushing down less than ideal nor appropriate fantasies from your mind, that you nearly forget that Jack once again is doing out of pocket things that would already be questionable under normal circumstances but are absolutely atrocious right now.
βJack! Whatββ
βDonβt argue, just take it,β he interrupts, meeting your startled eyes head-on without a trace of shame.
βIβm almost home, Iβm getting it wet for nothing.β Youβre wiggling around, trying to shake the piece of clothing off and return it, but Jack doesnβt let you. His hand clamps on tight over your own, stopping you from removing the jacket.
βKeep it on, get it wet, I donβt care. Itβs just water and Iβm the one doing your laundry anyway, so just put it in with the rest of your stuff and bring it down with the next load.β
You look at Jack like he just waterboarded you into submission, mouth opening and closing like a fish on land, not able to come up with a retort quick enough. Then your gaze slides beyond him, horrified when your eyes find Kristine watching the interaction with rapt attention.
The reminder that Jack said yet another thing in a way that can lead to speculations on your relationship has you scrambling for his sake. Youβve lost count by now, how often you had to save his ass in only a few minutes.
βOh! This-this is not what it sounds like! Jack is only doing my laundry because my washing machine broke and the one, we orderβI mean the one I ordered has a delivery delay and Iβm waiting on it, but in the meantime, he offered to wash my clothes for me. But actually, I usually put them in myself and we do separate loads! So, itβs not as weird as it sounds!β
You wonder if Jack has forgotten all about the actual star of the night with the way he keeps showing up for you instead of Kristine and the possibility threatens to dismantle you.
You feel so embarrassed for everyone involved and so bad for Kristine who must be silently imploding at the sight of her date caring more about his neighbor than her.
If Jack keeps on doing so for much longer, you might just push him onto her and abandon ship in a last-ditch effort to help them out.
To your reliefβand truthfully, confusionβKristine doesnβt show a singular sign of annoyance. Her face remains relaxed, sporting an amused expression and when she talks, there is no trace of an underlying complaint escaping either.
βWell, I did say I wanted to hear more about Jackβs good deeds, so feel free to fill me in while you still can. You seem to know a great deal about them,β She sends you a playful wink which has you a little starstruck, dumbly nodding along, although youβve already decided to keep your mouth shut from now on.
Continuing to sing Jackβs praise could lead to even more misunderstandings appearing out of thin air and youβre in no mood to fight more battles for his sake, while he obliviously ruins his chances with his possible dream woman.
Silently praying to be released from this torturous encounter, you reach out to press the elevator button again. Perhaps some god does listen to you in the end, because the telltale ding of its arrival sounds shortly after and the doors open in front of you.
The three of you file in, you pressing yourself into the furthest corner automatically in hopes of being forgotten all together and leave the other two people enough space to hopefully realize they are on a date and not just casually riding up to Jackβs apartment for no reason.
You fear you might have caused the romantic vibes between Jack and Kristine to dissipate with your intrusion. Maybe only your disappearance will help ignite the flame again.
If only Jack would stop fixating on you.
You bite your lip in frustration when he presses both his and your floor, then turns to throw you a quick look, checking in with you instead of Kristine. He frowns at your unnaturally position, pretty much hugging the wall.
βAre you good?β
βSure. What about you? Are you drunk or something?β
The question slips out a little sassy and accusatory, Jacks brows furrowing even deeper at the seemingly out of context inquiry. In your mind, itβs the only possibly explanation for his odd behavior.
Unexpectedly itβs Kristine that chuckles and answers you mysteriously. βI guess you could say that.β
Jack lets his eyes flick between the two women sharing the small space with him, trying to understand what either of them is talking about, neither grasping where you got the idea from nor why Kristine would lie about that.
He canβt actually seem like that much of a lightweight, that she thinks the one glass of wine he had at the restaurant would lead to him being intoxicated, right?
Before he can argue or find out what made you believe that in the first place, the doors of the lift open on his floor.
Jack reluctantly steps out, ignoring the urge to ride up with you and make sure youβre truly okay. He needs to remind himself that even if youβd let him, he is the one bringing home company which he canβt just leave hanging all of a sudden.
With a clenched jaw, he turns back around, watching Kristine follow him into the hallway, watching him thoughtfully. He gives her a fleeting smile before focusing back on you, needing one last look to reassure himself that you are fine and not just putting on an act.
Itβs both natural worry talking and guilt eating away at him.
He had never planned on you seeing him go out with someone else.
Obviously, itβs his own fault for inviting Kristine for a nightcap at his place instead of ending the evening at the restaurant. But Jack had simply not expected to run into his neighbor.
Usually, you donβt leave your apartment once you return home from work and this trust in your normal schedule had now become his downfall.
Jack tries to tell himself that he isnβt doing anything wrong, that there is absolutely no valid reason for him to think you even care about him going out with someone. After all you donβt appear all that distraught over this latest revelation.
But this annoying little tingle at the back of his neck is rather difficult to ignore, no matter how much effort he puts into it.
Because while you might be okay with him venturing out into a world, he thought he had long lost interest in, it is his own mind betraying him.
He is uncomfortable, stiff, nowhere near as suave as he wants to be, all because there is this inkling of knowledge in the depths of his mind, that he isnβt doing what he really wishes for.
But how could that actual, reckless dream ever become reality after thisβ at mostβmediocre performance he put on today? God, he knows he is not raising the bar, probably barely scraping it with the tips of his fingers and itβs disheartening, given the grandeur of his unreachable goal.
If he canβt even woo someone on his level anymore, how can Jack even think about reaching for a brighter, far riskier star in the sky?
The realization hits once more when your eyes lock, the dim light in the elevator hitting yours just right to let them shine. His heart clenches painfully, hope crumbling under Jackβs boot, making him take a step back, accepting the harsh truth.
He watches you smile innocently, then wave your hand. βWellβ¦ good night then.β
As if on cue the metal doors slide close.
Jack canβt help but draw out the moment for as long as possible, not breaking eye contact until the last tiny gap, the last glimpse of you disappears and the rumble of the mechanics lets him know you are escaping upstairs.
Only then does he turn around where Kristine already waits for him to lead the way to his apartment.
Jack clears his throat, feeling a bit awkward and hoping he wasnβt too obvious with his secret longing.
The twinkle in her eyes is hard to discern.
βSorry about that. She is like a magnet for unlucky things and itβs become a norm that she needs help whenever we see each other. I didnβt mean toβ¦β Jack grapples for the correct word, patting his slack pockets for his keys. βItβs okay Jack. I understand.β
He looks at Kristine, doubtful that she does, when he himself is struggling. But she surprises him by ripping his chest wide open with gently spoken words. βYou like her. More than she realizes. Maybe more than you do too.β
He comes to a sudden stop, staring at the woman petrified, scared to accept what she is saying.
βItβs not like that.β
βOh, now, none of that please. I have two functioning eyes and a very intelligent brain. Not that I would need either to notice what was going on between you two. Does that usually happen with others? You completely ignoring them when she is around? Or am I at least special in that regard?β
Panic spikes along Jackβs back, his throat tightening up and eyes burning with pressure.
Had he really been this obvious? This ignorant?
βDonβt look so shocked, Jack. Iβm not mad. Honestly, it was quite delightful to see you doting on her like that.β Kristine grins at him, blinding smile honest and it has admiration bloom in his chest.
She really is an amazing woman; he wouldnβt dare to ever contest that. And if Jack had decided to date someone months ago, Kristine could have been great for him. Confident, successful, well connected. She had the potential to be the perfect woman.
But not anymore. Not for him at least.
βItβsβ¦ a fantasy. Nothing more. Just an old manβs dream. I mean, you met her.β
He might as well be offering his heart on a platter, being vulnerable, admitting his most secret desire in the middle of a hallway.
And yet it feels safe, comforting to have said it out loud at least once, to a person he might never see again after tonight.
βI did meet her. And I think, not all hope is lost.β
βShe is young.β
βDo you like her or are you attracted to her, solely because she is young?β
He sighs, head thrown back, eyes pressed shut. He doesnβt want to look at Kristine, feels already flayed open and exposed after confessing. Itβs one thing to be the guy looking into peopleβs souls, a whole other when the roles are reversed. Jack doesnβt think he can handle it.
βNo, of course not. But itβs an obstacle.β
He shakes his head, deciding to finally open his door and no longer discuss such personal things in the open. But when itβs unlocked, Jack hesitates, shoulders tensing.
βIβm sorry for this evening. Iβ¦ I never intended to lead you on and I did enjoy my time with you. You are a fantastic person and the way you view the world; your work and other people is truly inspiring. Itβs my fault for thinking I was ready for something I clearly wasnβt.β
Jack has enough decorum to look Kristine in the face while apologizing and subtly rejecting her. She cocks her head to the side a bit, studying him with a smile on her lips and Jack swallows at the scrutiny.
βWell, maybe you are ready. You know, maybe you just wonβt feel like it until itβs with the right person. But thatβs for you to find out for yourself. I, for one, did enjoy our dinner and your company as well. I wouldnβt change a thing if I could. I had fun. And donβt take this the wrong way, but I donβt think we wouldβve worked out anyway. I do love connecting with other people in the medical field, but I have to admit, I am not looking for a doctor to date. Iβve been married to one before and one of the reasons why weβve divorced is that it makes for rather monotonous conversation off the clock.β
Relieved, Jack loosens his harsh grip on the doorknob, smirking when the woman shrugs casually, a mischievous expression crossing her face.
βI donβt think itβs a good idea for me to come inside anymore.β
βWe could still have our nightcap. I mean, I escorted you here, I donβt want to have wasted your time,β Jack is quick to assure.
βYou didnβt waste my time, Jack. I was excellently entertained the entire evening. I just think, you need some time to unpack a few things. And sometimes the hard truths are best discovered on our own. So, I will be leaving you alone now and itβs entirely on good terms.β
Jack is a little stunned at the idea of him turning out to be the one getting dumped after all. It doesnβt sting and he gladly lets Kristine have the final say and win tonight, but itβs unexpected.
βDo you want me to call you an uber?β
βNo need. I can manage on my own. But Iβll be taking this. Good night, Jack.β She reaches out, taking Jackβs umbrella without hesitation.
He doesnβt object, just watches as the woman turns with a last grin and saunters back the way they came.
Jack remains standing until she is gone from sight, then he lets out a deep breath, thoughts of you flooding his mind in no time whatsoever. There is nothing he can do to stop it and after closing his door behind him, Jack knows he needs to follow the advice he received or he wonβt be able to function properly anymore.
Taking off his shoes, he walks over to his couch, falling into the cushions, staring at the ceiling. There is some clinking and clanking coming from upstairs and he just takes it in, imagining you living your life above him.
The reality, that he only went on a date with someone else because he canβt have you, weighing heavier than ever.
I know I'm not the first person to observe this, but banishment is a hell of a funny punishment. I now sentence you to fuck off. I don't care where, just get out of my sight. Go on. Git.
So I have once again been chuckling at some adorable clumsy Russian in Nikolai and Nikto fics, and thus I decided to make a little list that might be helpful for fellow COD writers here. And yes, please, feel free to reach out to me if you need any proofreading of your Russian phrases, I would be glad to assist since google translator can butcher it in ways non-speakers won't be able to notice.
I would really appreciate if you guys shared this post and helped it reach people that might need it, I put way more effort into it than I expected myself <3 Also, I might make a followup with some more words and/or phrases that can be useful, so please feel free to request some, since here I am mostly focusing on terms of endearment.
I will write down Russian words, their (approximate and wonky, sorry for that) transcription/transliteration and what part of speech they are (keep in mind that adjectives can be used as nouns when used to address someone) and provide according translation and use.
Keep in mind that in Russian the gender of the word is important!!! I'll write down them in following order: he/him (ΠΎΠ½/Π΅Π³ΠΎ) version/ she/her (ΠΎΠ½Π°/Π΅Ρ) version/ they/them (ΠΎΠ½ΠΈ/ΠΈΡ ) version. However! They/them is NOT traditionally used as gender-neutral pronouns, it's plural only. Some queer and younger folks do use they/them (myself included), but it does sound wonky as it's direct copy from English. Unfortunately, Russian is not very suitable for gender-neutral writing, but there are ways to go about it (I'll try to note some of that too).
*however, since Nikto is sometimes using plural they/them to describe himself, that would be okay with him since it's plural. I hope that makes sense, lol.
So if you're putting an adjective with a noun (example: ΠΌΠΈΠ»ΡΠΉ ΠΊΠΎΡΠΈΠΊ) you have to use an adjective in the correct gender form FOR THE WORD! If the noun (ΠΊΠΎΡΠΈΠΊ here) is masculine, you use masculine adjective form EVEN if you're referring to a person with she/her pronouns.
What is love?
The main thing I noticed is that y'all use a direct translation of the word "love" - "Π»ΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ" [l'ubov'] (n) to refer to a person. As in "how are you doing, love?". However, that's wrong. "ΠΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ" is either a word to describe the feeling, or a name (short version would be ΠΡΠ±Π° [Lyuba]). If you wanna use an affectionate pet name, consider one of the following!
Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠΉ/Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³Π°Ρ/Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³ΠΈΠ΅ [dorogoy/dorogaya/dorogiye] (adj) - means "darling". Often used between spouses. Mostly used to refer to person directly, sounds a little quirky if you use it to refer to them in third person (as in "my darling went out to buy some strawberries").
Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΡΠΉ/Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΠ°Ρ/Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΡΠ΅ [l'ubimiy/l'ubimaya/l'ubimiye] (adj) - means "beloved/loved/loved one" and is probably the closest to "love". You can use it to refer to person directly or to talk about them in third person (as in "can't wait to see Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΡΡ". Also yes, the endings are changing depending on the case and I'm not entirely sure how to explain this concisely without going deep into grammar lol).
ΠΌΠΈΠ»ΡΠΉ/ΠΌΠΈΠ»Π°Ρ/ΠΌΠΈΠ»ΡΠ΅ [miliy/milaya/miliye] (adj) - the word means "cute/cutie", but is also used as a general terms of endearment, like "sweetheart". Mainly to refer to someone directly, using it in third person is a little old-fashioned I'd say. Also commonly used by people outside romantic partnership, a kind old lady can definitely call you over with this one asking to help her read expiration date on a milk bottle or something.
Π»ΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ ΠΌΠΎΡ [l'ubov' moya] (n + adj/pronoun) - okay, I kinda tricked you saying you can't use the word "love" to refer to a person. If you say this (means "my love"), you can! It's pretty romantic and I am actually the one person that uses this daily, otherwise it's either very romance-novel/old-fashioned sounding, but there are moments when it's perfectly suitable. Have that fairytale moment! Also please note, that while "ΠΌΠΎΡ Π»ΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ" [moya l'ubov'] (adj/pronoun + n) is grammatically correct, it sounds kinda weird if you use it to address the person directly (like in a phrase "my love, you shine brighter than the stars"). While Russian doesn't have particularly strict rules about word order, it does matter to some extent, and this is a prime example: people just use one order way more often that the other.
Pocket-sized
I've already told somewhere here my favourite Nikto fic moment: the sweetest, romantic moment, interrupted by him calling reader "Π΄Π΅ΡΡΠ½ΡΡ", which means "cub" as in baby animal. And while my parents do use this word affectionately, I can assure you, most people don't, and it was clear that this was a result of a clumsy translation of "baby" or something like that. So here are some variants for words like baby, little one and such!
ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡ/ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡΠΊΠ° [malysh/malyshka] (n) - I'd say this feels more "little one" than "baby" to me, it's a tad less sexually charged if you get what I mean. Also, you call "ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡ" a person of any gender/pronouns, while "ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡΠΊΠ°" is strictly for she/her. Obviously can be used for kids too.
Π΄Π΅ΡΠΊΠ° [d'etka] (n) - this one is definitely "baby" or "babe" as a term of endearment, calling a real kid this would be WEIRD if you're not a really old granny. I would also say that it's more commonly used to refer to female partners, but that might be just my perception and experience. It's still okay to use both ways. Also this word can be very much used if you need a little bit of sleazy/catcalling/bad pickup line energy, like someone shouting after a girl passing by on the street. Yuck.
ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ/ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠ°Ρ [mal'en'kiy/mal'en'kaya] (adj) - this just means "little" or "small", I'd say it's used less commonly and usually in this form "ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ ΠΌΠΎΠΉ/ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠ°Ρ ΠΌΠΎΡ" [mal'en'kiy moy/mal'en'kaya moya] (adj + adj/pronoun). I will expand on this a little later here! Can be used to refer to kids too.
All kinds of fauna
While poor Π΄Π΅ΡΡΠ½ΡΡ is reserved for furry freaks like yours truly, there are some animal nicknames that are very widely spread! Here are some that I think would be most useful for y'all. Granted, some people think that these are a lil' bit cringey, but I think it really just depends on what you're used to hear around you. So if I think calling someone a cub is cute, and bunny is cringe, that probably says more about me :D
ΠΊΠΎΡΠΈΠΊ [kot'ik] (n) - this is a term of endearment for a cat. NOT same as kitten, mind you! Mostly used to refer to men (since the word is of masculine gender) - in my experience.
ΠΊΠΎΡΡΠ½ΠΎΠΊ [kot'onok] (second o here is like ΓΆ in German) (n) - now THIS is "kitten". I would say this is more gender-neutral than the previous one, but the word is still masculine gender.
Π·Π°ΠΉΠΊΠ° [zayka] (n) - I believe this would be an equivalent to "bunny", although it's actually a cute word for a hare, not a rabbit. Definitely used for all genders (also the word can be both masculine and feminine gender), also is okay to use referring to kids (even teachers that are into endearing nicknames can call pupils this and it's not weird. well, in elementary school). You can also say "Π·Π°ΠΉΡΠΎΠ½ΠΎΠΊ" [zaych'onok] (n) which is a word for baby hare, even cuter.
ΡΡΠ±ΠΊΠ° [ribka] (n) - a term of endearment for a fish. I think it's viewed as a bit old-fashioned and thus only used jokingly nowadays, but you know what? Nikolai could pull this off 100%. Bonus points if it's "ΡΡΠ±ΠΊΠ° ΠΌΠΎΡ" [ribka moya] (n + adj/pronoun). Only used for women and the word itself is of feminine gender.
ΠΌΠ΅Π΄Π²Π΅ΠΆΠΎΠ½ΠΎΠΊ [medv'ezhonok] (n) - now, I actually have never met someone who would call their partner this, but I myself would (and I definitely saw it in some media, but that's obv not too reliable). It's a word for a bear cub, so I think it's cute to call a huge ass bear of a military man this word. It's of masculine gender, but I would say it's okay to call a she/her person this too. ALTHOUGH there is a grammatically incorrect (but this only adds to cuteness as it often happens) word "ΠΌΠ΅Π΄Π²Π΅ΠΆΠΎΠ½ΠΊΠ°" [medv'ezhonka] (n) - this would be a female bear cub. My family uses this word, I use it, no, it won't be in a dictionary, but everyone will understand what you mean. Is okay to use for kids too.
ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΎΠΊ [sh'enok] (if it helps, Ρ is like German "schtsch", like in Borschtsch, like sh but soft) (n) - now, this actually is not used as a term of endearment, it's "puppy" and it's suitable for degradation. The word is of masculine gender, but you can call anyone this to be honest. You can tell Nikto he's "Π³Π»ΡΠΏΡΠΉ ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΎΠΊ" [glupiy sh'enok] (adj + n) (silly puppy) and that man will either bark for you or gut you. If you say "ΡΡΠΏΠΎΠΉ" [tupoy] (adj) (dumb) instead of "Π³Π»ΡΠΏΡΠΉ" [glupiy] (adj) (silly), it will be downright offensive. You can say "ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΎΡΠ΅ΠΊ" [sh'enochek] (n), which is an endearing term for a puppy, so it's a little bit sweete. OR you can use my personal favourite - "ΡΠ΅Π½" [sh'en] (n), which is actually also incorrect, but if you've ever heard of a great poet and poetry innovator Mayakovskiy, he was called this word by Lilya Brik. I do NOT have the time to unpack that wild relationship (there was a throuple involved. Russian poetry scene of early XX century was WILD and it's my favourite poetry period hands down), but it's pretty famous. The word "ΡΠ΅Π½" consists of the word "puppy" but with the end diminutive suffix cut off. The trick is, that while some words return to their non-diminutive form with such procedure, this one does not - so you're basically inventing a new word that now sounds quite degrading and harsh, but also sexy as hell (personal opinion). I would definitely call Nikto this word.
ΠΏΡΠΈΡΠΊΠ° [ptich'ka] (n) - that's just "birdie", but I actually wouldn't say many people use it to refer to each other. HOWEVER, Nikolai 100% calls his steel bird this. The word is of feminine gender and if you are calling a person this, it's probably more suitable for a woman.
ΡΡΠΏΠ° [tsipa??] (n) or even ΡΡΠΏΠΎΡΠΊΠ° [tsipoch'ka] (n) - that's a chick, like a baby hen, used only to refer to women (feminine gender word). Honestly I only heard this in foreign films dubbed in Russian or like in jokes/sarcastic phrases. It's kinda rude/indecent/vulgar and the only man that can say that and stay attractive is Captain Jack Sparrow (he used this word in Russian dubbed Pirates like once maybe, talking to Elisabeth, and that was funny cuz he be crazy like that). But maybe you want this, idk.
And everything sweet
Unfortunately, I haven't seen anyone translate the word "honey" as "ΠΌΡΠ΄" directly, that would be another brilliant laugh (cuz it's wrong to refer to a person like that), but there are some "sweet" words to use!
ΡΠ»Π°Π΄ΠΊΠΈΠΉ/ΡΠ»Π°Π΄ΠΊΠ°Ρ [sladk'iy/sladkaya] (adj) - this just means "sweet", like the taste, and it can be sexy or sleazy or just cute. You can call a kid this word too, BUT for a child would be better ΡΠ»Π°Π΄Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ/ΡΠ»Π°Π΄Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠ°Ρ [slad'en'kiy/slad'en'kaya], which is like one step further into diminutive-endearing department.
ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΡΠ΅ΡΠΊΠ° [konf'etka] (n) - this is a diminutive word for a candy, a sweet, like a caramel or chocolate or whatever. Not very common, but is cute. Also a way to describe a sexy/good-looking person (more likely a woman, the word is of feminine gender) or just something really good (a bit jokingly). The latter is usually used in a phrase build like "Π½Π΅ ..., Π° ΠΏΡΠΎΡΡΠΎ ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΡΠ΅ΡΠΊΠ°", which is roughly translated "that's not ... that's just plain candy". Might have an actual English equivalent that I can't think of right now. Maybe "a total snack"? Probably that one, yeah. Can be said about anything, a car for example.
Shiny
I wanna stick in a few more words of endearment and they all are kinda shiny, lol, so here you go!
ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΠ΅ [solntse] (n) - this means "sun", like that big glowing thingy in the sky, but it's very welcome as a term of endearment. This word is NEUTER gender (explained in the next section). Viktor Tsoy (a famous rock musician with an unfortunate fate and immortal cultural heritage) had a song ("Cuckoo" - "ΠΡΠΊΡΡΠΊΠ°") with the words "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΠ΅ ΠΌΠΎΡ, Π²Π·Π³Π»ΡΠ½ΠΈ Π½Π° ΠΌΠ΅Π½Ρ" [solntse moyo, vzgl'yan'i na m'en'ya] (my sun, look at me), so "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΠ΅ ΠΌΠΎΡ" (n + adj/n) is a good one. You can also use "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΡΠΊΠΎ" [solnyshko] (n) which is an endearing version of "sun", so it's like "sunshine". Also of neuter gender! Can and should be used to address kids too.
Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΡΠ΅ [zolottse] (n) - this literally means like... a little gold? A little golden piece? I don't think there's a proper equivalent in English. It's a word of neuter gender and it's very much used for kids too. Another version would be "Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΠΎΠΉ ΠΌΠΎΠΉ/Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΠ°Ρ ΠΌΠΎΡ/Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΡΠ΅ ΠΌΠΎΠΈ" [zolotoy moy/zolotaya moya/zolotiye moyi] (adj + adj/pronoun) - this is "my golden", it's a little less common and I feel like it's often used to be condescending, but it's not inherenrly bad, so you can use it for a loved one.
ΡΠΎΠΊΡΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡΠ΅ [sokrov'ish'e] (once again it's Ρ, look previously) (n) - this is a word of neuter gender and it means "treasure". I personally adore this one and it's pretty common. Can be used for any gender and for kids!
Π·Π²ΡΠ·Π΄ΠΎΡΠΊΠ° [zv'yozdoch'ka] (n) - this is like a little star/starshine. Wouldn't say it's that common, but I use it a lot. The word itself is of feminine gender, but you can call anyone that! Or you can say "Π·Π²Π΅Π·Π΄Π° ΠΌΠΎΡ" [zv'ezda moya] (n + adj/pronoun), which means "my star". Also feminine gender word, but can be used for anyone.
This dog belongs to...
I am not going to go too deep into sexy/sex-related words in this part, because I'll just get overwhelmed with the amount, but I want to go over some words of ownership quickly.
ΠΌΠΎΠΉ/ΠΌΠΎΡ/ΠΌΠΎΠΈ/ΠΌΠΎΡ [moy/moya/moyi/moyo] (adj/pronoun) - this means my/mine. It goes really well with many words in this list, especially the adjectives, like "ΠΌΠΎΠΉ Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠΉ" [moy dorogoy] (my darling) or "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΡΠΊΠΎ ΠΌΠΎΡ" [solnyshko moyo] (my sun/sunshine). The last version, "ΠΌΠΎΡ" [moyo] is neuter gender, it's NOT gender-neutral! It's the "it/its" I guess (not exactly, but let's just stick with this simplyfied explanation). Previously there were some words of that gender, so here you go. BTW I would say that in speech it's more common to put this word before adjectives and after nouns (like in my examples), just sounds better, but it's not wrong to do otherwsise. You can also just say "ΡΡ ΠΌΠΎΠΉ" [ti moy] (you're mine). Also can be used to refer in third person, like when you're discussing your man with your gossip girls, you can just go "Π° ΠΌΠΎΠΉ Π²ΡΠ΅ΡΠ°..." [a moy vch'era] (and mine yesterday...) and everyone will understand that you mean your man. Unless you wee discussing pets, then they'll probably assume it's your cat.
Ρ ΠΎΠ·ΡΠΈΠ½/Ρ ΠΎΠ·ΡΠΉΠΊΠ° [khoz'yain/khoz'yayka] (n) - saw this one too btw. This means "owner" or kiiiinda "master/mistress", and they are gendered, so it's actually wrong to call a woman "Ρ ΠΎΠ·ΡΠΈΠ½" unless there's some kinky genderfuckery going on (which I'm all for, but like. you get what I mean).
Π³ΠΎΡΠΏΠΎΠ΄ΠΈΠ½/Π³ΠΎΡΠΏΠΎΠΆΠ° [gospod'in/gospozha] (n) - okay, THAT is definitely master/mistress, also gendered. Standard BDSM terminology and yada yada.
And that's where I'd like to wrap up for today! However, if needed, I can write more - perhaps with curse words or with sex-related words, or some phrases? I dunno, you tell me! Once again, I kindly ask you to share since I think this will help people (and while I understand the struggle of writing in another language and especially using words from language you don't speak at all, I can't help but be a little thrown off every time I see a wrong use of words in text).
Also remember: while Siberia is bigger than USA or even Canada, there are still other regions in Russia that deserve to be mentioned <3 a lot of places with mindblowing nature, cultural heritage etc.
So I have once again been chuckling at some adorable clumsy Russian in Nikolai and Nikto fics, and thus I decided to make a little list that might be helpful for fellow COD writers here. And yes, please, feel free to reach out to me if you need any proofreading of your Russian phrases, I would be glad to assist since google translator can butcher it in ways non-speakers won't be able to notice.
I would really appreciate if you guys shared this post and helped it reach people that might need it, I put way more effort into it than I expected myself <3 Also, I might make a followup with some more words and/or phrases that can be useful, so please feel free to request some, since here I am mostly focusing on terms of endearment.
I will write down Russian words, their (approximate and wonky, sorry for that) transcription/transliteration and what part of speech they are (keep in mind that adjectives can be used as nouns when used to address someone) and provide according translation and use.
Keep in mind that in Russian the gender of the word is important!!! I'll write down them in following order: he/him (ΠΎΠ½/Π΅Π³ΠΎ) version/ she/her (ΠΎΠ½Π°/Π΅Ρ) version/ they/them (ΠΎΠ½ΠΈ/ΠΈΡ ) version. However! They/them is NOT traditionally used as gender-neutral pronouns, it's plural only. Some queer and younger folks do use they/them (myself included), but it does sound wonky as it's direct copy from English. Unfortunately, Russian is not very suitable for gender-neutral writing, but there are ways to go about it (I'll try to note some of that too).
*however, since Nikto is sometimes using plural they/them to describe himself, that would be okay with him since it's plural. I hope that makes sense, lol.
So if you're putting an adjective with a noun (example: ΠΌΠΈΠ»ΡΠΉ ΠΊΠΎΡΠΈΠΊ) you have to use an adjective in the correct gender form FOR THE WORD! If the noun (ΠΊΠΎΡΠΈΠΊ here) is masculine, you use masculine adjective form EVEN if you're referring to a person with she/her pronouns.
What is love?
The main thing I noticed is that y'all use a direct translation of the word "love" - "Π»ΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ" [l'ubov'] (n) to refer to a person. As in "how are you doing, love?". However, that's wrong. "ΠΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ" is either a word to describe the feeling, or a name (short version would be ΠΡΠ±Π° [Lyuba]). If you wanna use an affectionate pet name, consider one of the following!
Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠΉ/Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³Π°Ρ/Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³ΠΈΠ΅ [dorogoy/dorogaya/dorogiye] (adj) - means "darling". Often used between spouses. Mostly used to refer to person directly, sounds a little quirky if you use it to refer to them in third person (as in "my darling went out to buy some strawberries").
Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΡΠΉ/Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΠ°Ρ/Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΡΠ΅ [l'ubimiy/l'ubimaya/l'ubimiye] (adj) - means "beloved/loved/loved one" and is probably the closest to "love". You can use it to refer to person directly or to talk about them in third person (as in "can't wait to see Π»ΡΠ±ΠΈΠΌΡΡ". Also yes, the endings are changing depending on the case and I'm not entirely sure how to explain this concisely without going deep into grammar lol).
ΠΌΠΈΠ»ΡΠΉ/ΠΌΠΈΠ»Π°Ρ/ΠΌΠΈΠ»ΡΠ΅ [miliy/milaya/miliye] (adj) - the word means "cute/cutie", but is also used as a general terms of endearment, like "sweetheart". Mainly to refer to someone directly, using it in third person is a little old-fashioned I'd say. Also commonly used by people outside romantic partnership, a kind old lady can definitely call you over with this one asking to help her read expiration date on a milk bottle or something.
Π»ΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ ΠΌΠΎΡ [l'ubov' moya] (n + adj/pronoun) - okay, I kinda tricked you saying you can't use the word "love" to refer to a person. If you say this (means "my love"), you can! It's pretty romantic and I am actually the one person that uses this daily, otherwise it's either very romance-novel/old-fashioned sounding, but there are moments when it's perfectly suitable. Have that fairytale moment! Also please note, that while "ΠΌΠΎΡ Π»ΡΠ±ΠΎΠ²Ρ" [moya l'ubov'] (adj/pronoun + n) is grammatically correct, it sounds kinda weird if you use it to address the person directly (like in a phrase "my love, you shine brighter than the stars"). While Russian doesn't have particularly strict rules about word order, it does matter to some extent, and this is a prime example: people just use one order way more often that the other.
Pocket-sized
I've already told somewhere here my favourite Nikto fic moment: the sweetest, romantic moment, interrupted by him calling reader "Π΄Π΅ΡΡΠ½ΡΡ", which means "cub" as in baby animal. And while my parents do use this word affectionately, I can assure you, most people don't, and it was clear that this was a result of a clumsy translation of "baby" or something like that. So here are some variants for words like baby, little one and such!
ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡ/ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡΠΊΠ° [malysh/malyshka] (n) - I'd say this feels more "little one" than "baby" to me, it's a tad less sexually charged if you get what I mean. Also, you call "ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡ" a person of any gender/pronouns, while "ΠΌΠ°Π»ΡΡΠΊΠ°" is strictly for she/her. Obviously can be used for kids too.
Π΄Π΅ΡΠΊΠ° [d'etka] (n) - this one is definitely "baby" or "babe" as a term of endearment, calling a real kid this would be WEIRD if you're not a really old granny. I would also say that it's more commonly used to refer to female partners, but that might be just my perception and experience. It's still okay to use both ways. Also this word can be very much used if you need a little bit of sleazy/catcalling/bad pickup line energy, like someone shouting after a girl passing by on the street. Yuck.
ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ/ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠ°Ρ [mal'en'kiy/mal'en'kaya] (adj) - this just means "little" or "small", I'd say it's used less commonly and usually in this form "ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ ΠΌΠΎΠΉ/ΠΌΠ°Π»Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠ°Ρ ΠΌΠΎΡ" [mal'en'kiy moy/mal'en'kaya moya] (adj + adj/pronoun). I will expand on this a little later here! Can be used to refer to kids too.
All kinds of fauna
While poor Π΄Π΅ΡΡΠ½ΡΡ is reserved for furry freaks like yours truly, there are some animal nicknames that are very widely spread! Here are some that I think would be most useful for y'all. Granted, some people think that these are a lil' bit cringey, but I think it really just depends on what you're used to hear around you. So if I think calling someone a cub is cute, and bunny is cringe, that probably says more about me :D
ΠΊΠΎΡΠΈΠΊ [kot'ik] (n) - this is a term of endearment for a cat. NOT same as kitten, mind you! Mostly used to refer to men (since the word is of masculine gender) - in my experience.
ΠΊΠΎΡΡΠ½ΠΎΠΊ [kot'onok] (second o here is like ΓΆ in German) (n) - now THIS is "kitten". I would say this is more gender-neutral than the previous one, but the word is still masculine gender.
Π·Π°ΠΉΠΊΠ° [zayka] (n) - I believe this would be an equivalent to "bunny", although it's actually a cute word for a hare, not a rabbit. Definitely used for all genders (also the word can be both masculine and feminine gender), also is okay to use referring to kids (even teachers that are into endearing nicknames can call pupils this and it's not weird. well, in elementary school). You can also say "Π·Π°ΠΉΡΠΎΠ½ΠΎΠΊ" [zaych'onok] (n) which is a word for baby hare, even cuter.
ΡΡΠ±ΠΊΠ° [ribka] (n) - a term of endearment for a fish. I think it's viewed as a bit old-fashioned and thus only used jokingly nowadays, but you know what? Nikolai could pull this off 100%. Bonus points if it's "ΡΡΠ±ΠΊΠ° ΠΌΠΎΡ" [ribka moya] (n + adj/pronoun). Only used for women and the word itself is of feminine gender.
ΠΌΠ΅Π΄Π²Π΅ΠΆΠΎΠ½ΠΎΠΊ [medv'ezhonok] (n) - now, I actually have never met someone who would call their partner this, but I myself would (and I definitely saw it in some media, but that's obv not too reliable). It's a word for a bear cub, so I think it's cute to call a huge ass bear of a military man this word. It's of masculine gender, but I would say it's okay to call a she/her person this too. ALTHOUGH there is a grammatically incorrect (but this only adds to cuteness as it often happens) word "ΠΌΠ΅Π΄Π²Π΅ΠΆΠΎΠ½ΠΊΠ°" [medv'ezhonka] (n) - this would be a female bear cub. My family uses this word, I use it, no, it won't be in a dictionary, but everyone will understand what you mean. Is okay to use for kids too.
ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΎΠΊ [sh'enok] (if it helps, Ρ is like German "schtsch", like in Borschtsch, like sh but soft) (n) - now, this actually is not used as a term of endearment, it's "puppy" and it's suitable for degradation. The word is of masculine gender, but you can call anyone this to be honest. You can tell Nikto he's "Π³Π»ΡΠΏΡΠΉ ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΎΠΊ" [glupiy sh'enok] (adj + n) (silly puppy) and that man will either bark for you or gut you. If you say "ΡΡΠΏΠΎΠΉ" [tupoy] (adj) (dumb) instead of "Π³Π»ΡΠΏΡΠΉ" [glupiy] (adj) (silly), it will be downright offensive. You can say "ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΎΡΠ΅ΠΊ" [sh'enochek] (n), which is an endearing term for a puppy, so it's a little bit sweete. OR you can use my personal favourite - "ΡΠ΅Π½" [sh'en] (n), which is actually also incorrect, but if you've ever heard of a great poet and poetry innovator Mayakovskiy, he was called this word by Lilya Brik. I do NOT have the time to unpack that wild relationship (there was a throuple involved. Russian poetry scene of early XX century was WILD and it's my favourite poetry period hands down), but it's pretty famous. The word "ΡΠ΅Π½" consists of the word "puppy" but with the end diminutive suffix cut off. The trick is, that while some words return to their non-diminutive form with such procedure, this one does not - so you're basically inventing a new word that now sounds quite degrading and harsh, but also sexy as hell (personal opinion). I would definitely call Nikto this word.
ΠΏΡΠΈΡΠΊΠ° [ptich'ka] (n) - that's just "birdie", but I actually wouldn't say many people use it to refer to each other. HOWEVER, Nikolai 100% calls his steel bird this. The word is of feminine gender and if you are calling a person this, it's probably more suitable for a woman.
ΡΡΠΏΠ° [tsipa??] (n) or even ΡΡΠΏΠΎΡΠΊΠ° [tsipoch'ka] (n) - that's a chick, like a baby hen, used only to refer to women (feminine gender word). Honestly I only heard this in foreign films dubbed in Russian or like in jokes/sarcastic phrases. It's kinda rude/indecent/vulgar and the only man that can say that and stay attractive is Captain Jack Sparrow (he used this word in Russian dubbed Pirates like once maybe, talking to Elisabeth, and that was funny cuz he be crazy like that). But maybe you want this, idk.
And everything sweet
Unfortunately, I haven't seen anyone translate the word "honey" as "ΠΌΡΠ΄" directly, that would be another brilliant laugh (cuz it's wrong to refer to a person like that), but there are some "sweet" words to use!
ΡΠ»Π°Π΄ΠΊΠΈΠΉ/ΡΠ»Π°Π΄ΠΊΠ°Ρ [sladk'iy/sladkaya] (adj) - this just means "sweet", like the taste, and it can be sexy or sleazy or just cute. You can call a kid this word too, BUT for a child would be better ΡΠ»Π°Π΄Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ/ΡΠ»Π°Π΄Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠ°Ρ [slad'en'kiy/slad'en'kaya], which is like one step further into diminutive-endearing department.
ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΡΠ΅ΡΠΊΠ° [konf'etka] (n) - this is a diminutive word for a candy, a sweet, like a caramel or chocolate or whatever. Not very common, but is cute. Also a way to describe a sexy/good-looking person (more likely a woman, the word is of feminine gender) or just something really good (a bit jokingly). The latter is usually used in a phrase build like "Π½Π΅ ..., Π° ΠΏΡΠΎΡΡΠΎ ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΡΠ΅ΡΠΊΠ°", which is roughly translated "that's not ... that's just plain candy". Might have an actual English equivalent that I can't think of right now. Maybe "a total snack"? Probably that one, yeah. Can be said about anything, a car for example.
Shiny
I wanna stick in a few more words of endearment and they all are kinda shiny, lol, so here you go!
ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΠ΅ [solntse] (n) - this means "sun", like that big glowing thingy in the sky, but it's very welcome as a term of endearment. This word is NEUTER gender (explained in the next section). Viktor Tsoy (a famous rock musician with an unfortunate fate and immortal cultural heritage) had a song ("Cuckoo" - "ΠΡΠΊΡΡΠΊΠ°") with the words "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΠ΅ ΠΌΠΎΡ, Π²Π·Π³Π»ΡΠ½ΠΈ Π½Π° ΠΌΠ΅Π½Ρ" [solntse moyo, vzgl'yan'i na m'en'ya] (my sun, look at me), so "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΠ΅ ΠΌΠΎΡ" (n + adj/n) is a good one. You can also use "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΡΠΊΠΎ" [solnyshko] (n) which is an endearing version of "sun", so it's like "sunshine". Also of neuter gender! Can and should be used to address kids too.
Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΡΠ΅ [zolottse] (n) - this literally means like... a little gold? A little golden piece? I don't think there's a proper equivalent in English. It's a word of neuter gender and it's very much used for kids too. Another version would be "Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΠΎΠΉ ΠΌΠΎΠΉ/Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΠ°Ρ ΠΌΠΎΡ/Π·ΠΎΠ»ΠΎΡΡΠ΅ ΠΌΠΎΠΈ" [zolotoy moy/zolotaya moya/zolotiye moyi] (adj + adj/pronoun) - this is "my golden", it's a little less common and I feel like it's often used to be condescending, but it's not inherenrly bad, so you can use it for a loved one.
ΡΠΎΠΊΡΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡΠ΅ [sokrov'ish'e] (once again it's Ρ, look previously) (n) - this is a word of neuter gender and it means "treasure". I personally adore this one and it's pretty common. Can be used for any gender and for kids!
Π·Π²ΡΠ·Π΄ΠΎΡΠΊΠ° [zv'yozdoch'ka] (n) - this is like a little star/starshine. Wouldn't say it's that common, but I use it a lot. The word itself is of feminine gender, but you can call anyone that! Or you can say "Π·Π²Π΅Π·Π΄Π° ΠΌΠΎΡ" [zv'ezda moya] (n + adj/pronoun), which means "my star". Also feminine gender word, but can be used for anyone.
This dog belongs to...
I am not going to go too deep into sexy/sex-related words in this part, because I'll just get overwhelmed with the amount, but I want to go over some words of ownership quickly.
ΠΌΠΎΠΉ/ΠΌΠΎΡ/ΠΌΠΎΠΈ/ΠΌΠΎΡ [moy/moya/moyi/moyo] (adj/pronoun) - this means my/mine. It goes really well with many words in this list, especially the adjectives, like "ΠΌΠΎΠΉ Π΄ΠΎΡΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠΉ" [moy dorogoy] (my darling) or "ΡΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΡΠΊΠΎ ΠΌΠΎΡ" [solnyshko moyo] (my sun/sunshine). The last version, "ΠΌΠΎΡ" [moyo] is neuter gender, it's NOT gender-neutral! It's the "it/its" I guess (not exactly, but let's just stick with this simplyfied explanation). Previously there were some words of that gender, so here you go. BTW I would say that in speech it's more common to put this word before adjectives and after nouns (like in my examples), just sounds better, but it's not wrong to do otherwsise. You can also just say "ΡΡ ΠΌΠΎΠΉ" [ti moy] (you're mine). Also can be used to refer in third person, like when you're discussing your man with your gossip girls, you can just go "Π° ΠΌΠΎΠΉ Π²ΡΠ΅ΡΠ°..." [a moy vch'era] (and mine yesterday...) and everyone will understand that you mean your man. Unless you wee discussing pets, then they'll probably assume it's your cat.
Ρ ΠΎΠ·ΡΠΈΠ½/Ρ ΠΎΠ·ΡΠΉΠΊΠ° [khoz'yain/khoz'yayka] (n) - saw this one too btw. This means "owner" or kiiiinda "master/mistress", and they are gendered, so it's actually wrong to call a woman "Ρ ΠΎΠ·ΡΠΈΠ½" unless there's some kinky genderfuckery going on (which I'm all for, but like. you get what I mean).
Π³ΠΎΡΠΏΠΎΠ΄ΠΈΠ½/Π³ΠΎΡΠΏΠΎΠΆΠ° [gospod'in/gospozha] (n) - okay, THAT is definitely master/mistress, also gendered. Standard BDSM terminology and yada yada.
And that's where I'd like to wrap up for today! However, if needed, I can write more - perhaps with curse words or with sex-related words, or some phrases? I dunno, you tell me! Once again, I kindly ask you to share since I think this will help people (and while I understand the struggle of writing in another language and especially using words from language you don't speak at all, I can't help but be a little thrown off every time I see a wrong use of words in text).
Also remember: while Siberia is bigger than USA or even Canada, there are still other regions in Russia that deserve to be mentioned <3 a lot of places with mindblowing nature, cultural heritage etc.
it is honestly amazing how much of writing and editing is just. logistics. like... do i use a name here or a pronoun? if i move this dialogue tag to the middle of this line and break it in half, does the end of the line hit harder that way? what if i move the tag to the front? what if i remove it entirely? ...wait, whose point of view am i in; can i reasonably say this character is appalled, or must i say they look or seem or sound appalled? is this a deliberate action or a step-removed one; is her hand closing on his shoulder, or is she closing her hand on his shoulder? environment environment environment, we need to break all this dialogue up with some narration, the scene is coming untethered. what! are! they doing! with! the rest of their bodies that are not hands! fuck fuck fuck FUCK i forgot we covered this two chapters ago and now i either need to cut this whole chunk or find a reason to reprise the conversation from earlier. name or pronoun? name or pronoun? name or pronoun? move this clause around in this sentence? oh i'll add this phrase-- nope, never mind, past!me added the same phrase two lines down. okay, if i add too much environmental narration it's going to take away from this bit, but not enough and it won't feel grounded. what if i move this to its own line? where the FUCK are their hands?
