slight tadc finale spoilers?? doesn't go into super detail but putting a read more just in case
i feel like the tadc finale (specifically my empathy for jax's gender situation), the slight obsession with "ego renegade boy" by flavor foley, and the hyperfixation on my ftm transmasc oc rowan might be telling me something about my gender identity lowkey ;;w;;
(see tags for more rambles)
i’m on a steven universe kick so fuck it, gemsona time
also be warned: i am gonna psychoanalyze myself as a result lmao
this may get uncomfy (mainly for myself ;;)
side note: if u see mentions of a Golden Healer Quartz, that's my partner's gemsona!
Gem Name: Angelite
Nickname: Cloudy (from Steven), Frosty (from Golden Healer Quartz)
Authority: Blue Diamond
Former Rank: Elite Diplomat
Origin: Homeworld
Gem Placement: Throat
Gem Shape: Teardrop
Powers: Ice manipulation
Alignment: Diamond Authority (until S5)
Status: Active (Fully formed and operational, S1-Present Day)
Current Residence: Little Homeworld
Pronouns: mainly they/them, sometimes she or he
Sexuality: DemiAroAce (primarily likes women, will date any gender)
Physical Description: Curvy, short, slightly chubby
Height: 5' 1"
People They Like: Steven, Golden Healer Quartz (not initially, trusts over time), Lapis (trauma buddies), Bismuth, Sadie, Pearl (reluctantly, due to her former status as Pink's assistant)
People They Dislike: Holly Blue Agate, Aquamarine, Eyeball Ruby, Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond
Romantic Interest: Golden Healer Quartz (eventually)
Thoughts on Fusion: Total Indifference, will still do it occasionally
Fusion Partner(s) and Name(s): Golden Healer Quartz (Moldavite), Lapis (Turquoise), Steven (Lepidolite)
Why Fuse?: Strength (with Steven), connection (with Lapis), romance (with Golden Healer)
Favorite Gem to Fuse With: Golden Healer Quartz
Fusion Dance Style: Classic Ballet
Rambles and Info:
their gem placement is on the throat chakra, which while doesn’t sounds realistic to SU canon, makes sense for what kind of person i am and my traumas/issues with:
- my feelings being either invalidated or dismissed
- fear of conflict
- being punished for speaking out/expressing myself honestly
- sadness or depression being bottled up/swallowed
- deep-rooted fears of expressing my truest self or asserting boundaries
(which, all of these are associated with an imbalance of the throat chakra)
as a result of the gem placement (and their own trauma, which i will get to at some point), angelite’s anxiety is ticked up to 100 and is either excessivly quiet or rambling/gossiping about whatever out of sheer nervousness.
they are well-aware of their hypersensitivity and anxiety, and while they try to not let it hurt themself or others, it does prove quite difficult sometimes, especially since they are unable to really articulate their words and explain themself that well.
they also struggle a lot with looking people directly in the eyes, as they find it uncomfortable. as a result of that and their fear of being honest, some other gems think they are a outright liar and generally dishonest, which couldn’t be farther from the truth; they are just scared of the potential consequences of being honest. they moreso dance around/imply the truth than outright say it, if that makes sense.
angelite also has more autistic traits about them, such as their echolalia (repeating words or phrases exactly as they are heard). this can make gems look at them funny when they repeat what they heard back to the gem, but it’s otherwise harmless. they also struggle with reading facial expressions and tones of voices, which makes their anxiety spike when they think someone is angry with them when they actually aren’t.
another autistic trait they have is their indifference/hyposensitivity to colder temperatures, such as temps 32° F and below. this plays into the fact they have ice manipulation powers. their choice of weapon is ranged projectiles, like icicles or iceballs/snowballs. they don’t usually use their powers unless absolutely necessary due to their aforementioned fear of conflict.
angelite, being a part of blue diamond’s court, is quite perceptive and intelligent and has a profound elegancy about them. however, that “elegancy” is mostly a front they put up in front of others, they’re really excitable and goofy under their hard shell. they really love joking around and making the people they love laugh, it makes them feel like they’re wanted and loved when people genuinely laugh at their goofiness. due to this need to please others at any cost, this does prove difficult for angelite to make real friends.
uhhh that’s just about everything i have written down so far about them, if yall have anything to add or any questions lmk :3
STAY SAFE!! [ID: the Gilbert Baker pride flag with the words “Happy pride to all those who are unable to celebrate openly and safely. You are loved and seen!” in all-caps black text over it. /end ID]
i remember a while ago u drew mermaid kross/criller, the art where cross was the mermaid
any chance we could get more beautiful art for da soul,,,,,,, pretty please with a cherry on top 🙏🙏🙏
oh my goddddd I completely forgot about these twoooo :'3
i was really inspired by this art by @dreemurr-skelememer and although i usually deal in errorink, have some dream and nightmare!! not a ship, obviously.
takes place right after they agree to stop fighting, this is their first meeting since the truce
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it.”
Nightmare swept his pen along the overannotated pages of a particularly worn tome, boredom leaking into his voice like a waterfall veiling a deep, deep cave.
“It… it has.” Dream agreed, almost hesitantly— he didn’t like his brother’s castle. It was dark, and stuffy, and overall stereotypically ‘evil’— besides, the negativity seeped right through his bones and lapped at his energy reserves slowly, slowly… he knew in the next half an hour he’d be fighting sleep. And besides, Dream wasn’t of the mind that anyone should even have a castle— too much room for too little people, too much opportunity for dark corners and things that go bump in the night.
Squishing down any childish concerns, Dream settled for just listening to his brother’s pen scraping softly against old thick paper, making notes of things Dream would probably never even wrap his head around. He shifted his small frame forward… Nightmare was so much bigger than he was, having had so many more years to grow. We’ll never truly be twins again, Dream thought to himself, smiling humorlessly. Not in a way that matters.
“What’s that you’re reading?” The positivity guardian tried, a last-ditch attempt at connection.
Nightmare immediately shut it down— this meeting was for truce purposes only. “Read the title before you ask stupid questions. Or what, are you too used to being read to?”
Dream didn’t miss the reference, and it cut much deeper than expected. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” he bit back a rather unpleasant name, “I was simply trying to break the silence.”
No one spoke for a long time. Dream squinted softly at the symbols on the front of the book— were they English? He didn’t know, and didn’t want to be ridiculed for asking. It wasn’t exactly like he could tell the difference between a fully written language and a few symbols.
So he shot into the dark and guessed.
“…Psychology?”
Nightmare stared him dead in the eye. “You’re kidding. Right?” Leaning forward, Nightmare felt his tentacles tense behind him. “It’s the ancient folklore of Underswap.”
Sinking backward with a tiny, nervous chuckle, Dream tapped his fingers against the solid mahogany table. “Joking, of course, of course, it’s fine-“
“I can feel your goddamn emotions, Dream, lying will get you nothing.” Glaring hard, the negativity guardian dropped his book back down on the table. He, too, had to get used to someone else feeling his emotions— it would take work for the both of them. Not that he intended to spend time with Dream.
“You still can’t read, can you?”
The littler guardian sat up, instantly defensive. “No, but I— I would’ve, if I had the time!! It takes… it takes a while, doesn’t it?”
Nightmare should’ve been angry. He should’ve snapped, or shouted. But he couldn’t bring himself to, no, all his mind would react to was the prominence of Dream’s collarbones in his shirt, the way his eyes looked too big for his skull, the slight scarring from bowstrings on such little, soft hands… his brother was still, in almost every way, a child. And for a moment, it broke him.
“You never had time,” he whispered. “and you never even got to grow up.”
———————————
Three days later, Horror caught the boss sneaking into the library with a bag full of new books. The head injury had limited his ability to read, so it wasn’t of much interest to him anyway. Until, of course, a book fell and Nightmare snapped it up… but not quickly enough for Horror to miss the title.
“The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” and by the looks of it borrowed from Ink’s and Error’s home.
Horror forgot about it after an hour or two, but it was intriguing enough to give him pause.
Nightmare, on the other hand, sat behind a bookshelf in a blue velvet armchair, a matching one pulled up to sit beside him. He had Horror make tea earlier, despite knowing Dream would just drown it in honey. He had to admit he was excited, deep down. He was going to teach his brother to read.