going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me
The fact that this has 37 votes is absolutely iconic to me
More information:
1. (I’m fixing it historically but also from a stage friendly perspective. I will probably force request @cabbage-with-legs to review this as the cabbage is a theatrical vegetable)
I think a lot of people don't realize how confined Grace would be during the trip to Erid. This is important to me because I want Grace to be inconvenienced. Nothing should be easy for this guy!
When the Hail Mary is in thrust configuration:
The gravity is 1.5 g, just enough to make moving around the ship a bit more tiring than usual
The ship is basically a giant tower! Grace has to climb VERY tall ladders to go up to the next room. Climbing those in 1.5 g sounds exhausting. I'm sure he'd build up some good endurance doing that, but anyone who lives in a townhome can tell you how annoying it is to walk down three flights of stairs and then realize you forgot your phone upstairs. I imagine he would probably not wander around the ship a ton when he has to climb ladders to do it.
Related to the ladders, if Grace is in the dormitory and wants to go watch TV in the Don't Go Crazy room, he has to climb up 3 rooms of long ladders to get there
The usable floor space is pretty limited! All the rooms were designed to be used in centrifugal gravity, so in all the rooms the centrifugal floor is now a very, very tall wall. What would be the shorter centrifugal wall is now a tiny floor in thrust config (I'll put pictures at the end to illustrate)
Basically zero lab access! At the very beginning of the movie you can see Grace look up the wall at the lab equipment. It is all at least 10 ft up, totally out of reach and bolted sideways to the wall. The only real things he can use in lab are the white board, some screens, and the chair 4ft off the floor (that says "Not for use in thrust configuration" lol). The lab just straight up is NOT meant to be used AT ALL in thrust config. That's the whole point of having the centrifuge!
This is purely based on the movie, the book mentions Grace being able to tidy the lab when he is flying back towards Earth. But I am enchanted by the idea that the trip to Erid is boring and inconvenient for Grace, but he still doesn't regret anything because he's getting to spend time with Rocky.
Definitely don't fault anyone for forgetting this! You only see the ladders at the beginning of the movie. I only realized when I went to get screenshots that the ladders retract in centrifuge mode! Very smart. Those would be a real trip hazard.
Ship room order: Dormitory -> Server (?) room -> Lab -> Beetle storage room -> Don't Go Crazy Room -> EVA room & airlock -> Cockpit
Dormitory thrust
Very, very tall ladder! At least the floor is padded here in case you fall off. Makes sense considering this is where you wake up from your coma and have poor coordination
Dormitory centrifuge
Long floor plan, short walls. These two screenshots are from the same angle!! Tall wall is now long floor. You can see where the ladder has retracted!
Lab thrust
Grace is in the foreground pointing WAY up at the equipment bolted to the very tall wall
Grace sitting in the one accessible lab chair that says "NOT FOR USE IN THRUST CONFIGURATION" on the side. He's sitting on what is supposed to be the backrest
Lab centrifuge
Very large floorplan! This is the main room on the ship. They probably expected the crew to spend the most time here.
DGC room thrust
Grace is still able to stand in here! There is just a ladder going up the side of the room
DGC room centrifuge
After the ladder retracts, the metal panel it was on is now the floor!
every day I see six new fully finished highly symbolic art pieces of eva stratt with a set of scales and lambs and foxes and petrova lines visually paralleling nooses / restraints / trails of blood and rosaries and halos and big dioramas of earth and the sun and the hail mary and different methods of execution and explosions and rocket launches and heavenly / hell fire and allusions to major works in the art canon and I weep for my stomach not being strong enough for me to print out and eat all of them
she's hades she's god she's jesus christ she's mary magdalene she's the grim reaper she's the virgin mother she's judas she's eve she's pontius pilate she's all four horsemen of the apocalypse she's the earth herself. her name is eva stratt and she listens to harry styles and she got taken to court for pirating minesweeper.
Just wanted to bring to your attention that the term whump was actually coined by the Stargate fandom specifically to describe making this guy suffer. He is the original Mr. Whump (no that's not his actual name). That's how torturable this guy is.
Everyone say mean things about him.
Here is a non exhaustive list of what he goes through in canon btw:
His parents get crushed to death right in front of him when he is a kid
He is forced to relive the memory of his parents death countless times
He dies and gets resurrected
His wife gets possessed
He fails to save her and she dies in his arms
He dies and gets resurrected again
He gets infected by a virus that makes him act crazy and gets put in an insane asylum
He dies and gets resurrected again
His ex gets possessed
He is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation
He dies and ascends to a higher plane, then gets kicked out of the higher plane and his memory is wiped
Ok but i genuinely think Les Mis (the musical) would benefit from a proper muppets adaptation just like A Christmas Carol, where everyone is a muppet but the main villain.
Like same bullshit and it’s played completely straight but everyone is a muppet and acts like a muppet and a big scary javert is just chasing a muppet Valjean (Kermit)
dededos
stormborns
annaxmalina
snowghoul
yousharknotpass
origamiaround
