Hi have you read "how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian disaster rat" its really good
Aaiiyah, I read that like, last week. I loved it, it was hilarious and such a fast read. It won’t come up in the queue for a while, since I have 6 pages of bookmarks to go through before I reach it, but here, have an advance:
how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat)
Summary: A new plan hatches in Wei Wuxian’s head. If this nocturnal, bottom-feeding, slimy, invasive mudcat posing as a beautiful actor thinks he can sway Wei Wuxian with animal pictures and a sob story and an unbelievably stilted way of texting with still no dick pictures in the first five minutes of conversation, he has another thing coming. Wei Wuxian’s got it, alright, he has this in the fucking bag.
Wei Wuxian plots to expose a catfish using strategic memes and turtle pictures while wiggling his way out of family dinner. Lan Wangji just wants companions.
Excerpt: “Oh my god,” Wei Wuxian half-yells. “I’m a sugar baby.”
At first Wei Wuxian doesn’t register the halt in conversation and clinking of utensils. Then the unnatural quiet sinks in, and he looks up to find Jiang Cheng with his face in his entire palm, Shijie staring at him with something like simultaneous delight and worry in her gaze, and Uncle Jiang’s chopsticks dangling halfway between his bowl and his mouth. Madam Yu… He’s not going to look at Madam Yu, that’s what he’s going to do.
“Wei Wuxian,” says Uncle Jiang, so delicately that even Wei Wuxian has to wince at his lack of shame, “are you perhaps— It’s okay if you are, but are you in a… arrangement with—”
“No,” Wei Wuxian says, loudly, probably much louder than the situation warrants. Madam Yu scoffs. “I’m not in… arrangements with anyone, no—um. Favors of any kind. All we do is exchange pictures. Of our pets! Of my Xuanwu and his rabbits.”
Uncle Jiang looks torn between nodding and like, asking him if that’s a euphemism because Wei Wuxian knows it sounds like a euphemism, he knows, but it’s the truth and all they do is text about stupid shit and trade photos of their wonderful little animals! Wei Wuxian turns to Shijie, desperate. “Shijie, you know, right? I’ve talked to you about him before. The guy with the rabbits. He made me eat dinner before. Also he has nice hands.”
Shijie blinks before realization dawns on her face. “Oh! Do you mean your—”
“Catfish?” Jiang Cheng shrieks. “You’re still texting that dude?!”
“I resent the ‘still,’ he’s a very nice man with very cute rabbits!”
“Fuck the rabbits! What do you mean, you’re a—” A visible shudder of disgust runs through Jiang Cheng, and he looks like he’d rather be gutted when he grits out, “A sugar baby?”
“I’m not really. But I just found out he’s rich.”
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