Caleb Diggory

NO thanks

[volcainist]

This is me 100%

[toastbutteregg]

[foreverpuppy-deactivated2017120]

[shaxaphone]

What is mr. moseby doing

[whitepeopletwitter]

[tankaramo]

me @ me at 3am

[abercrombee]

me deciding to go to sleep instead of self reflecting

[vicyutopia-deactivated20181222]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[staaryaaarn-deactivated20250418]

who sunk this meme in pepto bismol

[montparnassee]

Soon it will be Autumn and Persephone can go back to pegging her husband in peace and I can wear a fucking jumper

[dungeonlust]

[sca-nerd]

I took my nephew and niece to their first event when they were... five and seven? They each picked out a heavy and a rapier fighter to cheer on (we made favors for them to give as part of the Plan to Keep Little Kids Entertained™). They interpreted this to mean that they were to LOOK AFTER these fighters and spent the remainder of the day taking them water and sharing goldfish crackers with them.

You don’t know happiness until you see a little kid hand a Knight an Uncrustable and have him devour it gratefully.

[ruffboi-mags]

#congrats your children reinvented squires (via @roach-works​)

[iapislazuli]

*arriving at the club*

my girlfriend: do you promise you wont turn into an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon this time

me: i promise

me 3 drinks later:

[iiterative-deactivated20240319]

[id: an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon]

[voidbirdy]

Losers try to tell me I emit "nuclear radiation", like thats my vibe idiot

[relishboi]

as the quality of everything in the world decreases, the quality of pictures of cats increases tenfold, and the rise has been exceptional for the past two years

[relishboi]

this picture literally is divine influence

[hminteresting]

The pharaohs daughter finding Moses at the riverbank

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I wish I could credit the genius who did this but this was a repost on Facebook and they were already scratched out

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[kedreeva]

we were discussing wills and inheritances in the breakroom today and one of the boys brought up that he heard if you hate someone in your family, you’re supposed to leave them something, literally anything, even if it’s just like 1 penny, so that they can’t sue and say you just forgot them, and one of the other boys said why wouldn’t you just say like “I specifically do not leave anything to this person” and one of the girls piped up “No, leave them 1 penny, it’s a bigger fuck you” and then she paused and goes “No wait, tell them that you leave them everything in the box you’ve buried in the woods and they have to go find it and dig it up and then they can have everything in it, but it’s just 1 penny” and because I am a writer, and thinking up wild things to have happen is part of the writing job description, I (without looking up from my computer where I was currently writing a story) said “or a bomb. I mean, you hate them right” and i looked up and everyone was looking at me and the girl (who FYI is a horror movie enthusiast and I had figured on appreciating the joke) goes “well. I mean, what are they going to do, arrest me? I’m dead.” and I wish I could bottle the looks on the boys’ faces.

[fallingtowers]

got a new job… im the person who passes the objects in front of the fire in plato’s cave

[fallingtowers]

everyday people ask me if they can fuck the shadows. buddy, you can’t fuck them, because they are without substance. they are mere pale echoes of the true reality, pal

[visit-ba-sing-se]

Me, lying on my bed, face down, desperately trying to get up: come on body yip yip