''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.
Cosimo Galluzzi

ellievsbear
The Stonewall Inn

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Show & Tell
noise dept.
Jules of Nature
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni
Fai_Ryy
tumblr dot com
hello vonnie
we're not kids anymore.
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

#extradirty
taylor price

bliss lane

Product Placement
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@caligo2
''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all
like i can't even just a little bit solve my problems with wanton violence? for real??
i'm like a caricature in a children's show. "and then Whimsy took a deep breath, made a few polite phonecalls, and everything resolved itself 🥰" fucking hell man when do i get to punch someone hard as fuck in the jaw
important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are
reblog if you're also lame and weird.
Sometimes it's not "your fault" but it's still "your problem" because nobody else can fix it.
If your history of trauma causes you to respond to totally normal interactions as if you're under threat of violence, you are likely to be a source of trauma for other people, and you should work on that.
It's not your fault that you were traumatized, but you're literally the only person who can fix you.
Not only did mama raise a quitter, but she also raised a procrastinator, people-pleaser, doormat, coward, and liar, and you can’t put a price on that
i bring an “excluded since childhood” vibe to the function
sorry about not replying I think I’ve gone missing
I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive
see unfortunately I have this condition where if I am not explicitly told that I am a part of the ingroup then I will assume I must be part of the outgroup
embarrassment is the cost of entry.
if you aren't willing to look like a foolish beginner, you'll never become a graceful master.
revolutionary idea but i think things should be less hard and upsetting and stressful. who's with me
Can’t believe my job makes me do my job on the days I am scheduled to work my job what the fuck
Anxiety is stupid because your brain will go ‘what if they kill me with hammers for talking to them’ and it’s people you talk to regularly who have never given any indication that they’d kill you with hammers
Aunt Julia's Cabin (Part 2/3) - Gator Days
I call it “soft queerphobia”. It’s when you come out to your family and they don’t reject you OR encourage you, they just forget every few months again. I have come out to my father nine times
I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person
BUT
a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."
#such a good summation of this actually#because yeah there’s usually things that were always present#but which were easy to overlook or give the benefit of the doubt#that suddenly become relevant after a revelation about the creator#and it’s really not the same thing as the self-defensive “’I never liked it anyway’
tags via chimaerakitten