Bullying is a cycle and ongoing pattern of abuse mainly carried out through harassment, using emotional, psychological, and even physical forms of violence. Too many people have appropriated the word bullying to refer to isolated instances of being insulted or even threatened.
Yes, even if you do get one death threat, that’s still not bullying. Bullying is a cycle and pattern of abuse. It needs to be ongoing for it to be considered bullying.
The effects of bullying are psychological and emotional traumas. It can even lead to the development of anxiety disorders and even PTSD.
This is the reason why people claiming single instances of attacks as bullying to be misappropriation and even ableist. It is equating a cycle of abuse that can lead to mental illnesses to a single “Haha you’re ugly, cis”.
Another thing to keep in mind is that LGBTQIA isn’t the only system of oppression bullies use as an arsenal of weapons against their victims. They can also rely on racism, misogyny, classicism, and ableism. And victims of bullying often find that bullies do not withhold from using more than one whenever they can. This is where people who belong to more than one marginalized group can find themselves under a barrage of different missiles, all with the intent of ruining their minds and physical well being.
The importance in understanding the difference between bullying and simply experiencing hurt feelings, along with the reality that it often rides on the backs on whatever form of marginalization and oppression it can find, is that it can affect and distort the message you want to convey.
You have to be aware of these issues so you can properly tailor your words to avoid accidentally trivializing the experiences of victims of bullying. I think what your problem is, anon, is that within the context you made that statement that statement trivialized the experiences LGBTQIA victims of bullying suffer. Perhaps a better way to communicate your intended message was to say “Bullying is wrong. No one deserves to be victims of ongoing pattern of abuse. ” If it was within a conversation about victims of bullying who became targets for being LGBTQIA, then the appropriate response to that is along the lines of “It is terrible that LGBTQIA people are so constantly targeted by bullies. It is not fair to abuse people just because they are not cis and straight”. To try to say “But LGBTQIA people are not the only possible victims of bullying” can be derailing the point of the argument, which is just plain rude and malicious.
Let’s put it this way if I started a conversation on my experiences of being bullied for ableist reasons, I would wish to have someone jump in and say “But abled people can get bullied too”. I know that, but rarely if ever anyone talks about the bullying that many people suffer for being physically/mentally differently abled/disabled or for being ill. And I wouldn’t take kindly to someone trying to derail and conversation that so rarely ever happens but needs to still needs to be had because disabled/differently abled people deserve to speak out and be heard as well.
See, there’s a time and place to make anti-bullying statements. You have to make sure that within the context that it happens, you do not derail and ultimately silence the voices of victims of bullying.
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