camillenrose

artist & writer • mid 20s • all pronouns • speaking english/german ⇾ author with too many wips, fanfiction enthusiast and artist with burnout

[camillenrose]

INTRO

🌻 — About me

My name is Cam or Cami, I'm in my mid-twenties, speak English and German and am rather fond of cat memes and the sunflower emoji. I'm currently (desperately) trying to finish my degree (a combination out of programming, design and animation) and try to focus more on writing and drawing. I made this account mainly to connect with other writers and artists and to find some reading and nano buddies. <3

I will mostly post original wip and oc content, drawings, writing tips from others, and maybe meta posts about fandoms and characters I'm super excited about. If you want to follow me on instagram and/or Goodreads, the handle is @camillenrose c:

🌻 — My Interests

I go through phases like the moon, so what interests me today, might not interest me tomorrow. Sometimes (often times) things come back, like the Yuri on Ice infatuation that hit me like a ton of bricks two weeks ago (I thought I was over it. Apparently I'm not). I prefer media that deals with darker subjects, often times leaning more into the slow paced character driven direction. Which doesn't mean that I don't enjoy something fluffy from time to time. <3

I'm currently in love with The Locked Tomb Series, as well as Arcane and AOT. I'm a gigantic animation nerd, and you might see me gush over some movies (especially DreamWorks earlier works and movies out of Disney's experimental era, namely Prince of Egypt, Spirit, Atlantis, Treasure Planet, Hunchback of Notre Dame, and so on). Other than that, I love hiking, volunteer in a local animal shelter and describe my true texting persona as using capslock and asdfghjkl.

🌻 — My WIPs

[STORMBRINGER] - Dark Urban Fantasy | #wip: stormbringer

[ACOLYTE] - High Fantasy | #wip: acolyte

[TobW] - Dark Fantasy, Sci-Fi | #wip: tobw

Thank you for your time. c:

Feel free to reach out if you want to scream about your wips and ocs, books or any shared interests! <3

[ad-wills]

[jurantparetoiles]

ah yes the last three months of the year: halloween, nanowrimo and christmas

[ceasarslegion]

Anyone else getting really fucking sick of this support:condemn dichotomy where folks online act like the only two possible responses to anything ever are to wholeheartedly support it or wholeheartedly condemn it?

"Oh you said that you dont think that random stranger should be sent full on death threats and doxxed for their iffy artwork? Why do you support racism" how about we all go outside and interact with real people and see how they react when you say things like that!

[ceasarslegion]

"I dont think you should full on ruin this persons life and all their chances of existing online forever over something that could very well be a shitty mistake that can be corrected" seems to be a real hot take among the same crowd who claims to support prison abolition

[peachpotions]

u know what, even if my writing isnt the BEST, i still made it all on my own. like there was a blank word doc and i filled it up with my own words, my own story. i took what was in my head and i made it a real thing. idk i feel like that alone is something to be proud of.

[chthonic-pain]

nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.

[chthonic-pain]

nobody ever taught me the warning signs for drug addiction, only that "it costs lots of money and destroys your life!!!1" which is not helpful if you can't recognize a developing addiction in yourself.

so here's some things to watch out for with recreational drug use:

planning your day around drugs e.g "i'll give myself an extra half hour before heading out so i can get high first"

rapidly switching emotions around drugs. you love them but you hate that you love them so much. you hate the way you feel on them but you hate being sober. feeling guilty after using even when you didn't give a crap beforehand.

caring less about spending money. if you are budgeting for drugs like they are food, you are likely prioritizing them more than is healthy.

getting high to do household chores and other unpleasant things because it would suck less and be more bearable on drugs

feeling anxious or restless while sober, not knowing what to do with oneself, feeling lost or ungrounded.

thinking about doing drugs constantly even while sober. maybe it's the first thing you think of when you wake up. maybe when you're bored or otherwise have free time, drugs are one of the first things you can think of to occupy yourself with.

going to work or school while under the influence, especially if it happens regularly and if you're seeing your performance suffer as a result.

the idea of taking a 'tolerance break' sounds good to you until it's actually break time, at which point you can come up with 20 very reasonable sounding points to explain why it wouldn't benefit you actually and you should just keep doing drugs regardless.

even if you succeed at quitting the drug, you keep your dealer's number on your phone "just in case"

you pretend to be sober when you aren't. you worry about other people noticing how much time you spend high. you make efforts to hide your drug use or minimize how much other people think you're using. you're scared of other people's judgement if they were to find out.

you have mood swings laced with self-hatred, regret, financial worries, and guilt. these mood swings are then very quickly wiped away by feelings of "but it doesn't matter, i can do what i want, and clearly i'm doing just fine while using drugs frequently". news flash, if you are rapidly switching between feeling numb-ok and hating yourself more than anything because of your drug use, you are mentally ill.

yes this applies to weed. weed is a drug and you can get addicted to it like any other substance. addiction is not the same as physical dependence; it is psychological and it can happen to anyone. you are not immune to addiction.

[jasontoddiefor]

Yeah sure we’ve all binged a long fic, but have you ever read a WIP and followed someone’s life?

Tidbits of information - (“I graduated today!”) - and small joys (“It’s my birthday!”) and you get to be there to say “This chapter made me cry, happy birthday, thank you for gifting us this”.

I remember reading this fic of someone at the end of high school, older than me then. They seemed infinitely wise, spoke of their future career and getting into the college they wanted. I remember them posting on days they felt like nothing could bring them down - and on days the whole world did and it’s the aftermath of a hospital visit. Cancer, I think it was, their father. I got to the end of the story, I know their father was fine, but also they got to finish their WIP. I graduated three years later than them, still dutifully wrote thank you notes in every comment. I wonder if they remember me, or just the collective of people reading the story as it updates.

Four years ago I was into my first year of university, my first year of figuring out being out in public spaces. I made excuses as to why my name didn’t match my paperwork and read a fic on the train, the same five chapters over and over again for the next years as I thought the story abandoned. It updated this week after such a long hiatus, I left another thank you comment.

There’s an author I love, they update their stories like a clockwork. When they don’t, I check their blog, just to see if their doing alright, not because I feel like they owe me, just to ensure whether I better get out my laptop to write that really detailed university level essay chapter analysis to get them smiling when their day sucked.

And then, once, when I was 17, I read a fic that hadn’t updated in over a decade. I wasn’t even in primary school when it started posting. On the last chapter, I left a comment that, in retrospect, was horribly rambly and most likely full of grammar mistakes. The author replied and though I couldn’t see their face, I thought of them crying. They were married now, had children, and hadn’t thought about this fic in years. They went through their files again, found another half written chapter and an outline. I got two new chapters to read that year.

And then, recently, someone told me they got back into writing original fiction because of my comments. I get to read nearly weekly chapters.

I love binge reading a finished fic, but nothing is ever going to top the feeling of anticipation of waiting for a chapter, the pure joy when someone tells you I was done with this, but you made me think of it again, so this is for you.

Anyway, I think we should romanticize reading WIPs more, growing up alongside the authors writing the stories we love.

[starpeace]

i love when tragedies are like “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”

[kjscottwrites]

Truly the all time funniest writer thing is when you're doing edits and you think to yourself "omg I've got the PERFeCT sentence to add right here!" and then you stick it in all excited, only to find that literally three lines down you have virtually that exact same sentence in the draft already.

[so-many-ocs]

“everyone is going to hate it” someone will love it. someone will reach out to you and tell you it changed their life. someone will hold it close and treasure it forever in a way you can’t even understand. keep going

[writingdotcoffee]

“Abandon the idea that you are ever going to finish. Lose track of the 400 pages and write just one page a day, it helps. Then when it gets finished, you are always surprised.”

— John Steinbeck

[yaoist]

"you have a responsibility to consider how your writing would affect other people" literally 50% of writing is manipulating the audience by setting tone and mood and drawing them in to fuck with their emotions. writers do NOTHING but consider how our writing is affecting other people and this is implying that our moral imperative is to make them feel warm and fuzzy which it is not

[stesierra]

If you are looking for warm fuzzies, my writing is probably not what you're looking for.

[magic-is-something-we-create]

Something I've been thinking about lately is the shame around writing slowly, and how prevalent it is for people to be upset about not being able to write a lot really quickly. About how so much of writing advice is "how to write more faster," and how many people seeking advice are asking how to write a thousand words a day, and how big of an annual thing NaNoWriMo is because it's difficult but there's this general vibe of condescension for those who don't participate or who don't "win."

And I used to feel ashamed too. I'd get frustrated by my apparent inability to write more than a few hundred words in a sitting on a good day. I'd beat myself up for only managing my bare minimum of fifty words, I'd try again and again at NaNoWriMo and hate myself for not being able to do it.

But I've realized that if I didn't write slowly, my stories wouldn't be what they are. I wouldn't love them so much, because they wouldn't have become what they did - because they had time to bloom.

And I've also realized that while I have had moments in time where I wrote like that - multiple thousands of words a day for days or weeks on end - that's... not something I aspire to.

I write slow! That's okay!

I'm proud of writing slow. I'm proud of having gotten to the point where I put myself and my process before what others expect of me.

You don't need to be fast. You don't need to be ashamed.

And you don't need to want to be fast, either.

I certainly don't.

[ad-wills]

[ritshoe]

Kudos to fanfiction writers for writing about all the trauma and emotional and mental turmoil that the original content creators dont acknowledge when putting characters through hell

[saltoftheao3]

This has evolved to one of fanfiction’s major assets in my eyes. To every author that cares enough about the characters in their stories to examine trauma, but also the slow, tedious processes of healing and recovery: your stories mean so much to me and other persons with mental health problems. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[liveandletcry23]

Society: We don’t talk about how anger is Often just masking grief

A 17 year old with a blorbo and a laptop: Don’t mind if I do tho

[luckys-last-brain-cell]

I think it’s so interesting how once American minority groups get credit for ANYTHING they’ve done or created someone chimes in, suddenly insistant that they are Americans, the minority identity doesn’t matter anymore because they are AMERICAN and this is an American accomplishment for all Americans to claim.

[gay-jewish-bucky]

It brings to mind a notable quote from Albert Einstein, "If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew."

[luckys-last-brain-cell]

Brilliant quote, thank you for this addition!

[lightbluedaisie-deactivated2022]

The urge to bother my mutuals

[lightbluedaisie-deactivated2022]

[jaynotwayne]

reblog if it’s okay for your mutuals to bother you <3