My Long Journey Through Healthcare
I was in the fourth grade, at Wall Central School, when one action changed my life. I stood up during a math test, turned around, turned back, sat back in the chair again, and returned to my testing. I did not stand up to spy on my classmates test papers or make a nuisance of myself whatsoever; I had a petit mal seizure. Now, mind you, because I was a “hyperactive child,” my mother took me to a pediatric neurologist named Dr. Pietrucha in Neptune. At first, she believed that my hyperactivity could be controlled by coffee. This, of course, was a complete and utter joke. But when that Doctor caught wind of my little twirl in the classroom, she prescribed an onslaught of tests. These tests forced me to be admitted into the pediatric ward of Jersey Shore Medical Center for almost two months.
I had more CT Scans and EEGs, along with constant blood tests. Dr. Pietrucha diagnosed me with Lyme’s Disease first and when that became unfounded, I was then diagnosed with Spinal Meningitis, which was also unfounded after two excruciatingly painful spinal taps. One of which was done improperly causing me to suffer spinal fluid leakage and another lengthy stay in the pediatric ward. I was forced to stay at a constant 45 degree angle while they pumped me full of fluids and kept me bedridden. Spinal Taps, to this day, give me nightmares and panic attacks. I can remember being pulled into a small chilled room and placed onto a metal table and the nurses, CNA’s, etc., prepped and sterilized the site of entry for the needle and catheter to retrieve the fluid. With just barely enough local anesthetic, they slid the needle in. My spine all the way to the base of my skull felt this almost indescribable burning pain. Even though I was afraid and crying, there was little to no comfort from the doctors and medical staff.
After all of that pain and undue trauma during two months in the pediatric ward, they finally narrowed it down to Epilepsy. Soon after began the drug regimen that was the beginning of the end of any hopes and dreams of owning a car. The seizures also caused children in school to bully me, because they thought I had a “staring problem” or I was “stupid”. They had no idea what I was going through, so I can’t really blame them. It affected my grades, how I felt about myself, and caused reclusiveness from most of the activities that children at the age were participating in. Eventually, having grown weary of explaining my dilemma, I decided to leave school in my Junior year. I eventually received my equivalency diploma and later earned a degree in college.
In the midst of all of that drama, my Mother decided that a chiropractor was the answer to my neurological disorder. So I went to a Chiropractor once a week in addition to seeing my neurologist who had me on Tegretol. One day, a couple of horrific adverse effects creeped up on me. I was at Island Beach State Park with my two sisters and my Mom, when I began to get the chills. Mind you it was a ninety degree day, so that happened. On the way home I became dizzy and I was covered in hives. My Mom took my temp and it was 105 degrees. A normal mother would take her child to the ER, but my Mother was never remotely normal. She took me to the chiropractor. He gave me an adjustment and let me rest for a while on the couch, before we left. My Mom contacted my neurologist the next day and the drug was stopped immediately.
In my late teens/early twenties, I worked for a company called Fotomat, which was run by Konica Corp. I used to ride my bike there every day and home every night. One chilly Autumn day, I was riding down the road. I was at the stop sign and checking for traffic. It was all clear, or at least I thought. Out of nowhere, I was hit by a car, went through the windshield, and then made a high speed face-plant into a phone pole. I know all of this from what the cops and medics informed me, otherwise the shock of incidence wipes it all from my memory. The only memories are the scars and neurological complications the accident left in it’s wake. I was in the hospital for another month with a broken neck, concussion, cracked knee cap, and a broken arm in two places. I had sutures on my head to take care of the large wound site on my forehead. Luckily, my doctors took great care of me and I recovered from my orthopedic injuries with very little physical therapy.
A year later, I was getting ready to shower and go to work and boom, I have two large scale grand mal seizures. My mother ran into the bathroom while I was convulsing, all the while screaming for my father. Next thing I remember was being in the ER scared shitless and totally embarrassed about the whole incident. It was a definitely the beginning of me wrapping my mind around it all.
Later on, my beloved husband, Don was so understanding and his kind heart and love melted away my fears. I had some depression and anxiety in the mix, but I’ve found doctors who are completely superb at comparing notes. I’ve also changed my diet as well. I still have good and bad days, but the good is starting to outweigh the bad. Even though my Mother might have had a mild case of Munchausen’s by Proxy, she tried her best. I think it gave her that margin of purpose that I think she required. Although my Father thinks my Mom smothered me and wanted me to be sick, which as I previously stated may be the truth.
To this day, I have a fear of hospitals and clinical mint green walls and suffer from nightmares of the tortuous pain I’ve endured. I hope that one day it will all lessen and what seems indelible, is actually easily cleansed away.
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