*-1hp* Ow *-1hp* Ow *-1hp* Ow *-1hp* Ow *-1hp* Ow

20 | he/she | physically disabled + autistic

[cane-goth]

Dylan 🪐

20, he/she, genderfluid 💫

Physically disabled with multiple conditions 🌙

Autistic (mid support needs / lvl 2) ☄️

🫧 Made this blog as a sort of journal to help me cope, process emotions and symptoms, and find posts that I relate to. Also some things that just make me happy in general. 🫧

🌕 Some stuff about me: 🌑

🪻 Loves:

Pompompurin, space, baking, hermitcraft, gothic fashion, rain

🪷 Likes:

Nature, animal crossing, bg3, the sims, writing, reading, art

🌾 About my conditions:

I won’t name the specific physical disabilities I am diagnosed with for a couple reasons, but they do cause: Severe chronic fatigue, 24/7 chronic pain when unmedicated, brain fog, heart palpitations, mobility issues, and a plethora of other things.

I’m also autistic, I’m comfortable naming that one. I’m unable to be fully independent, I struggle with a lot of basic day to day life things because of it. I also have a lot of self injurious stims and some outwardly destructive ones.

This isn’t everything but its the basics lol.

🥀 Tagging system:

Autism resources, Chronic fatigue resources, Chronic pain resources, Self care reminder, Accountability reminder, Discussion, Ugh!, <333, Art.

[cane-goth]

Puked :( still feel super nauseous but its gone away a little, hopefully enough for me to sleep

[cane-goth]

Nvm my nausea just ramped up all the way back to like an 8/10 and my stomach is making so many gurgles. If i dont puke again before i pass out, I’ll probably wake up in the night with it.

[cane-goth]

Puked :( still feel super nauseous but its gone away a little, hopefully enough for me to sleep

[cane-goth]

You are just a person.

A human being, put your hand on your chest and feel your heartbeat, take a deep breath in, prod the skin of your cheeks. You’re real and human and that’s enough.

You’re not superhuman or a robot, your deserve love and care from others and yourself. Your body is there to protect you and love you, please love it back.

You can look at art and flowers with your eyes, listen to songs and your loved ones laughter with your ears. You can smell your favourite food with your nose, you can feel your favourite comfy clothes on your skin.

It gives you that, it lets you experience joy and pleasure, so dont beat your body up, you both deserve rest and understanding and patience.

[sailermoon]

this is my favorite genre of post

[cane-goth]

Look at what I ate today I’m basically neurotypical (aka Im kicking arfids ass)

[slfcare]

I used to hate it when people said the trick was to just do it until ‘do it scared’ started going around, because that’s truly it. Life didn’t start changing until I applied for jobs with one hand in front of my eyes and a trembling hand navigating my computer mouse. Or until I said everything on my mind (in moderation) with my fists clenched and my legs weak. Or until I refused to accept that I’d ‘just’ be shy forever while also kind of being nauseous at the idea of trying to be the opposite. Two things can coexist and that’s exactly the point of believing that you can do anything.

[cane-goth]

My ear hurts and the pain is down to my throat and im having tummy issues and my head has been killing me all day please dont tell me im sick…

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

just a reminder that i’m proud of you for still trying

[julesonherjourney]

This is everything

It’s everything

Keep going keep trying

Life’s a fuckin miracle when it’s not a nightmare

and that’s enough to be fighting for

[cane-goth]

There is a little gnome inside my spine and he is filled with so much hatred and rage that all he can do is stab me from the inside with his little gnome knife and and bunch all of my vertebrae with his little gnome hands

[cane-goth]

Goals and achievements . 03/07/24

Goals:

- Tidy up the bedroom

Achievements:

- Tidied up the bedroom

- Showered

- Went to the gas station

[kosmogrl]

[crippled-peeper]

there are some people who are desperately dreaming of a treatment or cure for their medical conditions and disabilities and you have to know that this has nothing to do with you nor is it up to you to decide how others should feel about their own bodies and lives

[cane-goth]

Ate more than just like a chocolate bar today and it was so hard and instead of feeling good and nourished and energised, my stomach had a tantrum and now im dehydrated and too put off of food to even drink water

[cane-goth]

Happy disability pride month <33

[cane-goth]

When I’m back home I’m gonna talk to my doctor about the possibility of a feeding tube because I physically cannot force myself to put food in my mouth and its fucking me up so bad.

[cane-goth]

It can be really isolating to be someone whose disability made them drop out of school before I even got the second half of my education. I dropped out at 12 years old. I had been in secondary school for just one year. And even when I meet other disabled people who left school, all of them either left for non-physical reasons or eventually went back to school and continued their education.

Its such a specific trauma I have that no one else’s experience can really resonate with.

I was in severe pain during the most vital parts of my development.

I was completely isolated from all peers my own age and any other human that wasn’t immediate family for years. Not one single friend for the majority of my early teen years and for years after that, the only friends I had were online. I’m 20 years old now and the only irl friend I have is my boyfriend.

I have zero education past the very very very basics. I barely even have the education of a 12 year old because I was dealing with getting diagnosed and was barely in school for a few years before dropping out.

No qualifications, developmentally stunted, isolated, mostly house bound, uneducated, and still in severe pain every day of my life. And theres no one I’ve met that can really relate to what I went through.