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Kiana Khansmith
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Mike Driver

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Today's Document
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@canukschi
drink some fucking water
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It recently came up in conversation with my toddler that some birds can talk, and this has caused her great concern.
See, we were talking about how movies are pretend and how in real life, animals donât talk. I mentioned that there are some birds who talk a little bit, but not like the animals in movies, and she just looked at me like â???â
So I informed her that some kinds of parrots can copy sounds that people make, and can learn how to say words. I thought this would give her a giggle, as fun new facts often do, but she was just deeply perplexed and a little worried about this.
âBirds can talk?â âDo they ask questions?â âWhat do they say?â Why do they talk?â âDo chickens talk?â âWhat about Blue Jays?â âWhy do some birds talk?â âHow do they talk?â âBirds TALK???â
We showed her a video of a parrot doing the âHello, pretty bird, give a kissâ thing, and she was dead silent the whole time, hugging her comfort pillow with her knees to her chest. We asked if she wanted us to turn it off, and she shook her head. But we also asked if she wanted to see another one, and she shook her head even harder.
I donât know why it has distressed her so greatly to learn that some birds can mimic human speech; but then again, I donât know why it doesnât distress the rest of us more to know that some birds can mimic human speech.
I keep thinking about that post thatâs like âThe first person to hear a parrot talk was probably Not Okay.â Because thatâs exactly what happened. She had never been introduced to the concept, and her entire worldview got SHOOK.
Part of why Ravens are considered Spooky Bad Things We Associate With The Faeries is because they can and do mimic human speech - but much, much better than a parrot. With a parrot, you can tell something is off about the sound. You can tell it doesnât belong to a human. Ravens donât sound like that, no, cause theyâre overacheivers. (And passerines). They sound EXACTLY like the voice of whoever they are mimicking.
But more importantly they love the sound of human laughter. No one knows why. But it is totally, 100% possible, and it happens to this day, to walk along the paths in the Black Forest and suddenly hear a strange kind of giggling sound, or maybe even a very clear, definitely human sounding âhello?â âHiiiii!â Or âletâs go!â.
However, it takes a lot of practice for them to copy sounds as perfectly as they do, so youâre equally likely to hear something that definitely sounds human-like, but the words make no sense and the sound is unlike any language you know.
Ravens at the Tower of London do this all the time. Theyre pretty sociable with humans though, so they do it quite openly. I have seen videos of people, mostly Americans, look absolutely spooked out of their skins when a big olâ raven (mind ye, these are birds that are 2 feet tall with a 5 foot wingspan) comes waltzing up on the deck and starts talking to them.
And ravens, especially the ones there that have been bred and raised by humans for centuries, donât just imitate - they have one of the same language processing genes we do, and they understand the way a toddler might that things, places, and individuals have names, and can string together basic sentences much like an african grey.
I know because I used to work with one, Darlene, who knew, quite well, what she wanted and how to ask for it. If you were preparing her breakfast, she would hop on up and investigate. She used to be an illegal pet, and had been taught âmannersâ. That is to say, if she went for something and you told her, sternly, âmind your manners missy!â She would stop, look at you, perhaps for up to a minute, and then point with her beak to what she wanted. If that did not work, she would ask, in plain English, âgrape?â Or âDarl have grape?â And lord help you if you gave her anything less than what she asked for. She would throw it at you, and try to bite you, sometimes while saying âNo!â In the same tone as I imagine she was reprimanded in her home.
So yeah. Parrots arent the only ones.
Was anyone gonna tell me that ravens can talk or was I meant to read about it on a tumblr post?!
Why does he sound so human??!
:)Â More Behind the GIFs.Â
ThisâŠI actuallyâŠreally needed this. Like.For real legit thank you.
âSaying nothing sometimes says the most.â
â Emily Dickinson