Ahoy!

[difficult]

[difficult]

[difficult]

[zhelanie]

[redsc4rs]

[amortizing]

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow.”

— Mary Anne Radmacher (via amargedom)

[feral-vers]

girl with ass: walks by

me, respectfully: 👀👀👀👀

[banfred]

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[paininmyheart-imalive]

THERES MORE THIS POST JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER 😂😂😂

[unclefather]

[kittydesade]

Spooky Shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay.

Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.

[del3141]

Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I’m trying to tell you that I’m evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!

Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit

[june-egbert-official]

The shopkeeper, annoyed: I'M TELLING YOU IT WILL COST YOUR SOUL.

Me, equally annoyed: AND I'M TELLING YOU I UNDERSTAND "NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM"

[tanou123]

New Orleans ❤

[doctorslippery]

Thunderstorm jazz is freaking awesome. I need an album of that. I’d sleep like a baby.

[sandersstudies]

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m working there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates appropriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

[bumblebeerror]

She sounds like a fuckin riot and I want to tell her she’s doing amazing

[pewpewtakeo]

[prettypositivity]

it’s never too late. for anything: to apologize, to chase a dream, to try again, to forgive, to pick up a hobby, to fall in love, to change. you can do it whenever you want

[otherwindow]

[codyakcat-deactivated20250529]

Essential workers @everyone calling them heroes while they work for minimum wage through a pandemic

[tshifty]

Ahmaud Arbery. 

Breonna Taylor. 

George Floyd. 

————————

Do not repost without credit and permission! 

[commandershepards]