“Idk why feyre was so upset with tamlin. I would love to stay inside a beautiful mansion with a gorgeous fae husband, read and paint all day, and never have to work again. Kinda weird that feyre wouldn’t want that. ”
Hey so are we just casually forgetting that TAMLIN ABUSED FEYRE??? Tamlin PHYSICALLY, emotionally, and mentally abused her and controlled her. Tamlin watched feyre suffer from ptsd, watched her wake up every night from nightmares that were so bad that she was vomiting, and watched her lose sooo much weight AND HE IGNORED HER?? FOR MONTHS!!
She couldn’t go on a walk by herself. She couldn’t make decisions for herself. She begged for something to do and was told no. She asked to train and asked to learn how to use HER powers and was told no. Her own opinions and choices for HER wedding (no red rule) WAS IGNORED.
He destroyed an entire study and threw her into a wall because she questioned him. He LOCKED her inside a house and left her there to have such a bad panic attack that she wrapped herself in magic she didn’t even know how to use and the servants couldn’t do anything to help her. He watched everything happen to her under the mountain, and not only did he not do anything, but the second he got to be alone with her, all he wanted to was have sex with her. Not get her out. Not give her advice. Nope, he just wanted to bone. ‘He couldn’t risk helping her because amarantha would’ve caught him!” But he had no problems risking getting caught having sex with her. Like come on. Rhys caught them so quickly, you think nobody else would’ve noticed them both missing? You think no one else would’ve caught them eventually? But he didn’t care about those consequences then.
Feyre was gone for one week and when she returned, all he really cared about was getting information about the night court.
Tamlin is an abuser. To feyre. To Lucien. To his own court.
So, no I don’t think feyre was weird for not wanting to be controlled the rest of her life.
I don’t think its weird that feyre says “hey I’m suffering a lot and I’m very traumatized from everything I’ve went through. Can I please do something because I feel like I’m slowly drowning in my trauma” what IS WEIRD is tamlin responding with “absolutely not. Go paint. Go take a walk. But not by yourself.”
Anytime feyre brought up her or tamlins trauma from UTM, HE shut it down. HE didn’t want to acknowledge it. He wanted them to ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen.
And yes, tamlin was traumatized too. But that’s NOT AN EXCUSE. You don’t get to be physically abusive or controlling to your partner, friends, or court because you’re traumatized. Especially when you are actively denying that trauma exists and you are not even trying to work through your problems and issues.
Tamlin is a coward. He would rather submit to someone/side with someone even if he knows they’re bad, rather than go against them. He sided with dad and brothers when they killed Rhys’ family, even after Rhys befriended and confided in him. He sided with Amarantha under the mountain rather than try to stop her or help feyre. He sided with Hybern during the war, no matter the consequences to his own people or the rest of the courts of prythian. He sided with Ianthe even tho he knew she was hurting his people and had gotten Feyre’s sisters captured and turned into fae.
I don’t know why there’s suddenly so many readers that have forgotten all the bad stuff tamlins done and act like he just wanted feyre to have a peaceful life. But he didn’t. He wanted feyre to pretend nothing bad happened and that she and him weren’t traumatized. He wanted her to only listen to him. He wanted to make her decisions for her. He wanted to keep her inside a bubble and have her never go do anything more.
And that’s not what feyre needed or wanted!!! I feel like so many people are forgetting that. Regardless of the fact that she was suffering from severe ptsd and depression and was becoming suicidal, she just didn’t want to sit inside all day, painting or walking, with nothing to do for the rest of her life. She wanted a purpose. She wanted to help. She was about to become a high lords wife and wanted to have a hand in helping the court. She had all these new skills and powers that she wanted to learn about.
And also, I feel like the longer this hiatus goes on, the more people forget how these characters actually are.
You want a beautiful fae husband who would let you live in a huge mansion where you never have to work again? Yeah that’s Rhys. Not tamlin.
If Feyre went to Rhys and said “hey I actually don’t want to work. I wanna be a stay at home mom for nyx. I wanna go shopping and relax and paint everyday.” Rhys would have zero argument against that. He would not deny her of that whatsoever. He would let her relax and paint and shop and eat and whatever else she wanted for a thousand years and never complain. But in the books when feyre (essentially) said “I want a job. I want a purpose. I want to help heal and rule this court. I want to fight in this war. I want to train. I want to help rebuild this court. I want to open up a paint shop/class to help other people cope with the trauma they’ve suffered because I know what it’s like to suffer that way and painting helps me, so I wanna help others.” He did not disagree at all. He let her. He encouraged it. He did not deny her any of that.
Do I think Tamlin is evil? No. But do I think he’s a good guy? Also no.
You can still like Tamlin and have sympathy for his character. But I thinks it’s a very toxic mindset to pretend that he didn’t literally abuse feyre. Like simple as that. He was abusive. It doesn’t matter that he was traumatized. It doesn’t matter that you think that he ‘just wanted to keep her safe.’ Because he wasn’t. He wasn’t keeping her safe or helping her or anything. He was actively hurting her. He was actively watching her get worse. He was actively ignoring her. And he was actively controlling her. He was abusive.
Imagine going to one of your own friends and them saying “yeah we had something really traumatic happen to use, and it changed both of us a lot. I’m very different than what I was like before. I’m suffering a lot from ptsd, I’m really depressed, I’m feeling suicidal, and I’m losing a lot of weight from throwing up every night. I really want us to get better but he won’t talk to me about his feelings and he won’t listen to my feelings. I would like to go get a job, but he doesn’t want me to. We got into an argument and he destroyed the entire room. He also threw a table at me and I got thrown into a bookshelf during another argument. He also locked me inside our house when I was trying to explain that I was suffering and needed to do something other than go for a walk or paint and that he was hurting me, even though he knows I have severe trauma from being trapped somewhere. He also won’t let me go anywhere by myself, and he’s started being really mean and aggressive and threatening towards his other friends.” Would you say “that sounds like a dream to me, idk why you’re complaining.” ?? I would really hope not.