CSC

26, any pronouns ok

[tax--payer]

just turned a mouse into a single ounce of lead

[swagdinner]

[apocalypseswhore]

gatekeeping my art by not making any

[freakoutgirl]

problematic will to live gap

[triangleguy]

im always saying this

[depsidase]

[english-history-trip]

Broke: Imma kick your ass

Woke: You are invited to join me on the

[english-history-trip]

I didn't go all the way to Yorkshire for 72 notes

[piendish]

//venting

dude I can’t believe this 2 of these little monkeys already fell off the bed AND bumped their heads after I wagged my finger at them and told them, verbatim, “no more jumping on the bed” I even called the doctor and he told me the exact same thing they don’t listen to me when I fucking talk I hate this fucking place

[piendish]

as if it would change anything

[charlesoberonn]

Servant: Your highness, a party of adventurers has answered your call for help.

King: Excellent. What are they like?

Servant: One of them is a dragon-lady.

King: Interesting. Those are rare around these parts.

Servant: Another is a goblin paladin.

King: Not a role you usually see goblins in.

Servant: A third is a purple-skinned tiefling.

King: I didn't even know they come in that color.

Servant: The last one is a sapient gelatinous cube.

King: What. How did these four even meet?

Servant: They met in a tavern two hours ago, apparently.

[charlesoberonn]

Queen: My love, please return to bed.

King: *pacing* Why would a gelatinous cube come to a tavern? Can it even get drunk? How did it fit through the doors?

[charlesoberonn]

All-cubes party

[charlesoberonn]

Which character would you play?

Dragon-lady

Goblin paladin

Purple-skinned tiefling

Sapient gelatinous cube

Voting ended onJan 22

[charlesoberonn]

Hypothesis debunked.

[got99socialproblems]

I'm not even disappointed about being wrong, I love that it's kinda evenly balanced?

(The Dragon-lady got my vote too lmao, shouldn't have underestimated the amount of lesbians and strong-woman-kinners on this site)

[official-dnd-posts]

official dnd post

[valtsv]

among my least favourite conversations i regularly experience in media analysis is when you interpret something as potentially alluding to an "uncomfortable" topic and people immediately start trying to defang it. "this reads like a rape scene" "umm actually it's not rape, it's just a very intimate act of violent assault that violates the victim's sense of safety and bodily autonomy with NO 🙅 sexual connotations or elements". you do realise that's neither any better nor functionally different, right?

[valtsv]

"this relationship resembles a traditional abusive marriage between a husband and wife" "well they're not married or heterosexual so you're wrong and an insane bigot for comparing them to such a horrible thing also" HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF A FUCKING METAPHOR???

[snekdood]

but have you ever even heard of the fynbos biome ?!!?!?!?!

a biome so unique in south africa that it's earned an entirely new biome classification for itself. so many plants are endemic to this area, and ofc it's under threat of extinction.

[wiley-treehouse-gardens]

It's a wonderful place! I had the privilege of visiting the fynbos last year and it was as amazing as these photos show and more!

[important-animal-images]

[thenookienostradamus]

oh siddhartha gautama, called Buddha, we're really in it now

[depsidase]

[lordnot]

Please take this story's moral not as "this woman was being stupid and shortsighted" or "this is a problem you as an individual fix by making your health more of a priority"

But as "a society that puts anyone in this position must be transformed in a fundamental way".

[sandersstudies]

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates approriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

[dovelylittlebird]

Now THIS is customer service

[sandersstudies]

I don’t think I’ve ever in my life met someone who LOVES customer service so much. Like, her favorite passtime is taking angry phone calls and helping the person calm down and only hanging up when they are satisfied. Her dream job is working as a flight attendant and personally I would love to recieve instructions on how to put on an oxygen mask from her.

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[emptyjunior]

my dad (Maori) works on a ship with all Maori/Tongan/Samoan fisherman- and one Aussie guy called Jake.

And that wasn't done on purpose just sort of how it ended up, but Jake recently got an injury so they put him on a Different boat just for a little bit (a sit in the wheelhouse and scout type of boat, instead of the main fishing one) and he only got back to my dad's ship today and he was apparently like Shaking. He was Traumatised.

Dad said Jake kept pulling him aside and going "They were all yelling on there, but in a MEAN way" "They didn't clean... Like at ALL"

Jake experienced what a boat full of old school Aussie fisherman is like. That is the norm Jake. You just happened to be on the all Island boy boat on your first go out. "It was time for dinner and they had FROZEN nuggets" Jake that's what they have on ships that are out at sea for months at a time.

On my dad's boat they are eating fresh fish and coconut milk Ceviche. They're grilling steaks on an open bbq on the deck that probably is not regulation. All the guys have their own special knives to prepare sashimi every couple days. Everyone is happily doing their own work so they can clock out early and set up a movie on the deck. Jake did you genuinely believe that's what every boat was doing.

Local Australian man is fed fresh juices and smoked fish for first time- refuses to go back to beef jerky boat life

[emptyjunior]

jake that first night when they served a freezer tray tv dinner and not an overflowing plate of fish that's probably going for conservatively like $40-$80 bucks a kilo but the guys decided Eh we'll catch more let's just fry it up:

[redstonedust]

in my mind "its not that deep" depends on how much the person is enjoying themselves, especially when it comes to fandom stuff. fans making lengthy character analysis out of a character with 2 seconds of screentime? theyre having a grand ol' time playing make believe in the shallow end of the pool and im not gonna stop their fun. people making discourse and starting fights over those same nothingburger characters? you are acting like you are drowning in an inch of water. stand up. youre fine.

[sandersstudies]

@spontaneousmusicalnumber yeah

[gooberjam]

they’re using fucking nerve gas on us. chemical warfare i am not kidding these are known carcinogens deployed in neighborhoods with families and children.