Shine on @captn-kates - Tumblr Blog

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, now in quarantine

ROMAN SOLDIER: halt, strange person! where are you from?

TIME TRAVELER: i come from the future. what are your names?

ROMAN SOLDIER: my name is QUINTUS, as i am the fifth child in my family. my comrade is SEXTUS, for he was the sixth child in his family. what is your name?

TIME TRAVELER: my name's LIV

ROMAN SOLDIER: [starts counting on his fingers as his eyes open in fear]

catchymemes

cinemove

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

selinakylebat

This is exactly what happens in my brain all the time.

humanoidhistory

Apollo 11 blasts off from Cape Canaveral, July 16, 1969.

kiriska

I love this stupid animal.

i-write-sins-not-poems

Mum:hey -

Me, returning from a walk in the woods after still being unsuccesfull in getting abducted by the fair folk: I don’t wanna talk right now

orriculum

My boss’s first language isn’t English. However, she loves giving inspirational speeches to everyone. I think today she was trying to tell us “don’t just stand around looking pretty”, but what she actually said was “WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SEXY”.

gentlechaosgoblin

It reminds me of my Russian boss at the bakery. I didn’t wrap the bread correctly so she told me to “Snuggle like baby. Bread is your baby, Shelly. It’s sweet and gentle. Fragile, Italian.”

thatsbelievable

valtsv

im the sexiest bitch in this secret government containment facility

nbjanet

my last two brain cells

clarenecessities

there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’l kill you in real life, kevin”