imagine being loved by me
talk // hozier

pixel skylines
Monterey Bay Aquarium
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
NASA
No title available
🪼

No title available

Kaledo Art
trying on a metaphor

Love Begins

No title available
tumblr dot com

JBB: An Artblog!

oozey mess

JVL
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

No title available
Claire Keane
No title available
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from Lithuania

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from Italy

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
@captncalamity
imagine being loved by me
talk // hozier
and I looked so confident babe I swear I was scared to death
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄 & 𝐇𝐔𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐒 ember and ice by quinn promotional photoshoot
instagram posts shane and ilya make during their first year of marriage ranging from realistic to in my wildest fantasies. they are posting shit like this:
they're both posting photos from their wedding day ofc. shane's post is a photo of their intertwined fingers, wedding bands pressed together -- shane's on his left and ilya's on his right hand as is russian orthodox tradition. the caption simply reads "Я тебя люблю" and that's it. tasteful and respectful. ilya's post is several pictures and a little more... well, more. he's posting a photo of them kissing at the ceremony first, ilya's hands buried in shane's hair and holding him close, their mouths locked together in a kiss that was probably too intense for the crowd of guests. the second photo in ilya's post is the wedding band photo and then the third is shane and ilya stood between yuna and david. so first three images are good but it goes downhill from there. the fourth image is an obviously drunk shane photo taken on a smartphone 0.5 lense and his face flushed and a silly smile on his face. the fifth image in boodram doing a handstand in the foreground and ilya chugging a bottle of moet and chandon in the background. the sixth image is ilya with his arm slung around a very pissed off looking hayden pike who is staring off into the distance with a scowl on his face and red ears and ilya is obviously midsentence. the seventh picture is a blurry photo -- courtesy of sveta -- of ilya in shane's lap on the grass and tugging on shane's cheeks cooing about his freckles. the eigth photo is a photo of shane curled up on the patio beside anya and giving her a cuddle as he naps, flushed and rumpled and obviously wiped out cold. and the ninth photo is shane the next morning at their kitchen island with sunglasses on and a frown and his wedding tux still kinda half on his body and his hair a mess and a very obvious bruise the shape of a mouth peeking out from the collar of his shirt. his caption reads "second best player (shane hollander) and best player in the league (ilya rozanov) got gay married!"
the honeymoon photos are tame in comparison. ilya got a talking to from their agent about image and branding and what would be best moving forward given the scandal of their outting whatever whatever. people want some sort of wholesome straight relationship vibe from them and ilya is rolling his eyes because 'whatever the fuck that means' but he's posting some borderline saucy photos anyway. fuck it. he's on honeymoon and his husband is hot. so he's posting a series of photos at the end of the trip, waiting in the airport for their connecting flight. the first is shane shirtless on a lounge chair by the pool, glasses on, reading a book looking stupid hot in ilya's opinion. the second is a selfie of ilya in the pool with shane is the background, still reading, and ilya grinning wide in the foreground. the third is a selfie of the two of them from a hike they took around the island one day with the sunset behind them and the two of them sweaty and flushed from the exercise. the fourth is a mirror selfie, ilya stood behind shane holding the phone, an arm wrapped around shane's waist, his head tilted so he is kissing shane's cheek. they are dressed to go to the club and shane isn't looking at the camera but at ilya's reflection and he is smiling fondly and the internet is dying bc his shirt is mesh and they can see his nips. the fifth picture is a photo of a massive plate of breakfast food from the hotel buffet. the sixth picture is ilya lying face down in the pool pretending to be dead. the seventh picture is another mirror selfie with ilya in the foreground doing his best blue steel shirtless in a pair of low hanging sweats and shane is on the bed in the background, also shirtless and in sweats with his hair all rumpled and his mouth all swollen and he's got the room service menu in his lap and the phone to his ear ordering. that picture sends everyone into a tailspin bc it is obviously a post-fuck selfie. the eigth photo is a photo of ilya with a drag queen in an ibiza nightclub. the drag queen is flexing her biceps and so is ilya and ilya looks totally wasted and also totally chuffed. the ninth photo is a screenshot of a facetime call between shaneilya and anya back home. and the tenth and final image is shane asleep at the airport, headphones on, hair a mess, mouth open and obviously snoring as he sleeps on ilya's shoulder. the caption is "honeymoon with the hubby 🤵🏻🥵🏖️❤️🔥" and shane says "ew no don't call me hubby". shane posts about their honeymoon too. the selfie of them on their hike, a photo of ilya in the waves at the beach all shirtless and tanned and big smiles and glistening abs, and then a photo of ilya asleep in the airport with his neck stretched way too far back over the back of a chair waiting for their flight to ibiza. his caption simply says "honeymoon".
not a post by ilya or shane but one by the cens introducing shane. a photo of shane in a cens cap and tshirt looking serious down the barrell of the camera. caption reads "welcome three-time stanley cup winner, rookie of the year, 2time mvp, olympic silver medalist (etc etc...) shane hollander to the centaurs!" and ilya is commenting "you forgot cosmopolitan's sexiest man in the nhl 2016 and 2017" and a fan is replying "dude what?" and ilya is responding "i married hottest man in league. i will not let anyone diminish this acomplishment".
as the season goes on and things continue to be weird in the media re the idea that shane threw the last playoff series in ilya's favour ilya is posting the photo of their CCM shoot and writing in the caption "since the summer before" and everyone is freaking the fuck out over what that means but ilya says nothing until farah is making him edit the caption. he leaves the photo up but removes the caption. when people ask about it after games and what it means ilya is just shrugging and saying "i have known hollander long time, yes? that's all i am saying". it's his one little way of biting back at people accusing them of throwing games for one another without getting into the timeline of them.
shane, tired of people questioning 'why rozanov?' or implying the question 'why rozanov?' has taken to posting sporadic images of ilya being the man he loves. so there's a recording of ilya talking very seriously to anya as he prepares her a very elaborate dinner full of chicken livers and bone broth and organic freezedried beef and egg yolks etc. ilya talking to anya saying "is important that you grow big and strong and live for long time, дорогой". then there's a post of ilya sitting in the airport with luca asleep on one shoulder and young asleep on the other. there's a post of ilya sitting at the dinning table with david and doing a puzzle. there's a photo of ilya coming off the ice after scoring a hat trick -- professionally taken at the rink -- and he's grinning wide and his face is sweaty. there's a post of ilya at the farmer's market with yuna, holding her grocery bags as she holds organic soaps to his nose and makes him sniff them. there's a photo of ilya asleep on the couch with anya asleep on his chest. there's a photo of ilya playing mario kart with the pikelets and a post of him playing mario kart at the children's hospital. there's a post of ilya wearing a children's plastic crown and drinking imaginary tea out of a princess tiana tea cup with amber pike beside him and a crowd of bears surrounding them with tea cups set in front of them and tiaras on their heads. there's a post of ilya in ibiza doing shots with a drag queen and a man dressed in leather and a hot woman in a bikini. there's a post of ilya at the gym, towel around his shoulders, sweaty and flexing and grinning past the camera obviously at shane. over the course of their first year of marriage shane posts a dozen photos of ilya with no caption and no explanation. a silent protest against people suggesting ilya rozanov is not good enough for shane hollander.
yuna is posting a bunch of secret photos she took of hollanov over the years. the two of them by the firepit at her and david's cottage, sitting close together with ilya's thigh slung over shane's knee and their hands intertwined in shane's lap. a photo of shane and ilya conked out on the couch, shane beneath ilya, ilya with his head underneath shane's sweater and curled on top of shane. a video of shane and ilya chasing each other and wrestling in the grass at shane's cottage -- the audio a bunch of laughter and chirping and bleeping that yuna carefully edited in. a photo of ilya asleep on the hollander's couch in ottawa wrapped in a blanket and with his cheek squished and his hair messy. a photo of shane and ilya on the dock at the cottage, ilya has shane is a headlock and is giving him a noogie. a photo from shane and ilya's wedding of shane and ilya slow dancing and staring at each other looking stupid in love. a photo of shane and ilya with anya in the backyard playing fetch. a photo of shane smiling at his phone dopily with the caption 'the ilya is calling smile' and that one goes viral. she is simultaneously helping their 'wholesome' couple image that her and farah agreed would be the best pr strategy for her boys going forward -- mkaing them as sexless as possible really to avoid people's discomfort -- but also enjoying getting to post her boys.
boodram is posting photos from team bbqs and team gatherings and people are playing 'spot hollanov making out' with all the photos. the first time someone spots it is blurry. in the background of a photo of zane with his wife someone draws a circle around two figures pressed tight together by the firepit -- it's obviously shane in ilya's lap on the grass by the bonfire and they're clearly kissing. after that people start stalking all the cens photos for potential hollanov making out in the background. one time they think they've caught hollanov but its actually harris and troy. but they find plenty. a group photo of hazy with holmberg and young and haas at Monks and there's shane and ilya in the booth behind them kissing, shane's hand on ilya's face and hiding their mouths but they are obviously kissing. a photo of dillon and dykstra at a team pool party and shane and ilya are in the distance wrapped up in each other pressing their laughing faces together and clearly ignoring everything around them. after about three incidents of being caught making out in the background the cens start double checking their posts before uploading and making sure the husbands are okay with it if they can be seen in the background. sometimes they ask to be cropped out. other times they aren't bothered. usually whatever they are doing is pretty tame and only lasted about one or two seconds anyway. they are not PDAing to the extreme. when zane -- or one of the others -- get asked about the 'excessive' PDA of their captain and his husband they are saying "no, they are not excessive. not any more excessive than me and my missus. in fact, they are usually a lot more aware of how they behave in public than me and cassie ever were when we were newlyweds".
that's all i have for now i think :)
i truly love that shane and ilya shares clothes like .5 seconds into the cottage. like they’re one day into living together and they’re already performing domesticitymaxxing truly no one does it like them fr
queer people who have done zero self reflection when they see someone who doesn't look fem in their space
ACTUALLY FUCKING THO
#the bioessentialism is gross and inescapable#‘oh i’m just not comfortable around this person bc i don’t know them!’#is that it? or is it that they’re masculine presenting and you only think of non-binary people as girl lite
shane would "he asked for no pickles." and ilya would love it. not because he can't stand up for himself or any of that (he most certainly can; hes the worlds most brash and obnoxiously confident man <3) but because no one's ever stood up for him before. obvi its small scale and over a mistake, but ilya eats it up every time. and shane loves it bc he loves to take care of his baby even if they both know ilya is more than capable of doing this himself
It would be really funny if Ilya's bachelor party takes on mythic status because of his reputation, with tonnes of rumours and people saying there's nothing on social media because people had to sign NDAs, only for it to never have happened. Too many people joked about throwing him the wildest party ever and he spent the time in between the season ending and the wedding ducking and weaving plans because he was NOT jeopardising this! He is not waking up just before marrying Shane in another country, in jail, or drunkenly married to someone else! He just wants to marry the love of his life so bad he's not even waiting to order chairs, STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!
Ok but Cliff Marlow somehow managing to get into Ilya's phone after the Tunameltdown in the middle of the Hollandry crashout, and getting Montreal Jane's number.
The entire Boston roster piling behind Marly as he types, trying to decide what to say that could save them because their captain has been possessed by the spirit or a soviet military trainer with knife shoes and if they are forced to make double bagskates again they will either puke or die or both.
So Shane Hollander wakes up one day to a message from an unknown number like "Hello Miss Jane ma'am this is Clifford Marlow I don't know if you have heard of me I am sorry to be a bother I'm just wondering if you could give my good friend Ilya another chance, I promise that whatever he did he won't do again, we will help we will teach him to cook and clean and do laundry and he will cook you the best sandwiches ever if you only give him a chance only if you want of course if it's not too much of a bother Miss Jane please and thank you" and he goes through the seven stages of grief in like 4 seconds before it's even 7am. They manage to add the link to a very big spa gift card that they all chipped in to buy because at that point they're desperate.
Hello Maggie! May I humbly request more lists of things that Shane says (like the mic'd up compilation)? ONLY if you feel like it, of course! I just feel like I get to know Shane so well and I learn about hockey culture through your posts like that and I love them so much. No pressure!! ok thanks bye ❤️🙈 - krb
Hmmm OKAY yes I think I have a few more:
- "Luca come here. Let me see. Open your fucking mouth, kid. Okay yeah, he's bleeding, tell them to give that fucker double, Ilya--"
- "Yeah so like...you eat the food with your hands. No forks. No, they give you this bread. Yeah it's good. Kind of spicy."
- "Hey buddy. Nah, not much. Jackie and the kids good? That's good. Surprised you're not part of the scrum. Yeah he told me he was gonna try to fight you tonight."
- "Ha, no, stay there. I don't wanna hear it. No, I don't want you to whisper it either. Save it for the power play."
- "Can you do this with your pinky? Yeah. Huh, maybe it's because I've broken mine. Hey, Bood, can you do this with your pinky? Huh. Chouinard--tap Chouinard--hey, try to do this--"
- "That ref fucking hates me and you know why--you fucking KNOW why--no I will not calm down!"
- "Yeah it was nice, but I don't think we'll go back. I dunno. It rained the whole time and Ilya said it made him feel homesick. No, like, for Russia. Yeah. Big sad Slavic eyes the whole time. And he's, y'know. My guy. When he's sad, I'm sad. Nah, that's not sappy, that's just marriage, man."
- "Hey, did you know that the point of hockey is actually to keep your blades on the ice? Yeah it helps. You can't go as far skating on your nose."
- "Aw shit, buddy, did he get you? Did my husband use his big stick to put you on your back? Aw man, bud, I dunno. Sounds kind of gay."
- "No, it's fine, not broken. Don't fuss. I'll tell you what I said later. No, later. Uh-huh. You get it. Eyes on the game, Rozanov."
- "Aw, fuck, he threw a blade. Oh you are not serious. Why is he crawling. COME ON, THIS IS WHAT WE LEARNED THE POWER PULLS FOR--"
- "Oh, kiss cam. You know, I asked them not to--helmet, Ilya. I said you could kiss my helme--mmm. Fine."
- "Say that again about my fucking family, motherfucker! Say that shit again! I'm not gonna let you fuckers play like that anymore!"
- "No, shh, I'm still mic'd. Wait until Sarah comes to take it. Ilya, I said no--shh, okay, it's on the right side. Careful, fuck! If you break the mic because you're too...eager...they'll never mic either of us up again."
Do I think that Shane wants to self-identity as anything other than Hockey Player? No not really. I think he would be perfectly content and happy to exist with no labels on his person. As far as he's concerned he is a Stanley Cup Winner and the whole husband thing is just a fun fact. Like yes, I broke the brains of an entire generation of hockey fans when my homosexual affair made international news. It's fine, I married him. Now back to my Cup wins. I have three. Now that I play on the same team as Ilya Rozanov I'll get more. He's the second-best player in the league. What? Yeah he has a husband too. Yeah it's me. We're not talking about that though.
Do I also think that Shane should be allowed to, whenever it would have the most effect, bring any given conversation to a screeching halt by rolling his eyes, announcing, "I'm too much of a bottom for this shit," and walking away? Yes I do. The man has suffered more than Christ and he deserves it.
I think Shane goes into the weeks at the cottage thinking that he knows what he's getting into. He knows that there will be emotions and he knows that having Ilya all to himself will be a heady sort of bliss that will be difficult to come out on the other side of unchanged. He knows that this is their time to be completely alone together and that it will change him fundimentally as a person. He knows that they are going to fuck on every conceivable horizontal surface in the damn place and some of the verticle ones too, and also that he might have to pretend that this whole thing isn't wish fulfillment of the highest degree. Like he didn't build this fortress of solitude in the Canadian wilderness and think to himself that maybe, someday, he could bring someone here. And he didn't look at the Ilya-shaped blank space where that person formed in his imagination. And he didn't buy this bed and touch himself in it while imagining--fuck, not even Ilya's dick or his mouth (although, yes, Ilya's dick and mouth) but just. Ilya's arms around him and Ilya's scent and Ilya's legs tangled with his own.
So he's prepared for what he thinks is going to happen because he's been falling into bed with Ilya Rozanov for the majority of his adult life and he thinks he knows what all of that means. Ilya has a sexual appetite that Shane prides himself on satisfying. They make the best of their limited clandestine time together to the tune of multiple rounds of sex most times they find themselves within 100 miles of each other. Boston and Montreal, yes, but also a handful of times in Vegas. Vermont, half a dozen times over half a dozen years. All Star weekends in Florida and California and fucking New Jersey. Brooklyn, once, because the stars aligned. Shane is very used to shoving two furtive fucks into the space of a handful of midnight hours.
So yes, the time that stretches before them is utterly gluttonous in comparison, and Shane knows that even two professional athletes in peak physical condition won't be able to set the kind of brutal pace they normally allow themselves for two entire weeks, but still. The sex will be hot--fucking unbelievably hot, and it will be nasty and it will be rough and it will be almost fucking constant.
And it is. They barely keep their hands off each other for the first day. Sitting down to play Chel with fucking clothes on is conceived as an attempt to be at least a little normal, as is kicking the soccer ball around. Shane is just a little turned on, constantly, and he would think there was something actually medically wrong with him if he didn't occasionally see Ilya tucking his erection more snugly into the waistband of his shorts. It feels insane. It feels like they are the only two people in the world and they're slowly burning each other up like the filament in a faulty lightbulb.
Then, it settles a little, and the first thing Shane notices about it is the sound of it.
Ilya's got him on his elbows and knees, just how he likes, and he's still open from the morning, and Ilya is tapping his dick on the small of Shane's back and saying Knock Knock and Shane is burying his face in the bedsheet and hiding his grin and telling Ilya that he's a fucking idiot.
"This is how you ask me for it?" Ilya replies. "Is this how my good boy asks to be fucked? No, I don't think so. Use your pretty words."
So Shane says, "Fuck," and then, "I want it. I want it so fucking bad. Please give it to me."
And Ilya taps his cockhead against Shane's hole and says, "This what you need, sweetheart?"
"Yes yes fuck please I need it I need it so fucking bad." Which is probably objectively false, because Shane has had it, repeatedly and good and whenever he fucking wants it, multiple times a day for the last 72 hours. Need probably flew out the window the second or third time Shane had the very routine thought of "I want to be sucking Ilya Rozanov's dick right now" and then realized that nothing was stopping him from doing so. Need has settled into a slow-burning, constant and pervasive want that is making it difficult to focus on his actual needs, like calories and REM cycles.
"Gonna give it to you," Ilya says. "Ask me again, one more time, ask nicely--"
"Please fuck me oh my God please fuck me--"
And Ilya is a hedonist. Shane knows this. He likes sugary foods and fast cars and beautiful people and filthy sex. He likes to have exactly what he wants when he wants it and he likes it to be given to him exactly how he asks. Shane has always, on a level that is crawling further and further to the surface of his being with every day spent alone with this man, been utterly smug that Ilya has never had to ask him twice for what he wants, once they're in bed together. Mostly because Ilya never asks and Shane always gives; has made a study of understanding that when Ilya quirks an eyebrow in a certain way he means Take Off Your Shirt. When Ilya taps his thigh in that certain spot it means Spread Your Legs. When Ilya puts a thumb against Shane's throat and just barely digs his nail into the tender swell of Shane's voice box it means Moan Pretty For Me Baby.
So Shane knows that Ilya takes his pleasure freely, and doesn't hold much back in the taking. This makes it all the stranger and lovelier when Ilya pops the head of his cock into Shane and releases the kind of raw, punched out sound that Shane has only heard from him on the ice. After a hard hit, when he has physically lost control of his ability to moderate his own sounds, the height of release, the height of wantonness, reeling with a punch. A stark, perfect moment of pure reaction.
"Oh, fuck," Ilya moans, in the silence created by Shane going utterly silent and almost completely still, lest he miss a single solitary detail of what's happening. "Uhn. Fuck, Shane."
"Yeah," Shane says, experimentally. "Oh, fuck. Fuck, baby, you feel so good."
"Fuck," Ilya snarls again, and it's like--it's like a fucking dam breaks, something that was built in Ilya's chest before Shane ever knew him, because it just does not stop. The sounds flowing out of him seem to do so without much or any express permission from his brain. He is gone, moaning almost inconsolably as he presses his entire body against the length of Shane's.
"Shane," he says, eventually, and doesn't stop. "Shane, Shane, fuck, SHANE--"
And Shane stops even understanding it as his own fucking name. Suddenly it's blasphemy, it's sacrament, it's a foreign fucking word that means something deliciously vulgar and it's a secret Ilya is keeping from him. It means I love you, and You are a perfect slut, and it means I will fucking ruin you.
And when he comes--God, when he comes. He tells Shane he's gonna give it to him and then he fucking does and every window in the room seems to shake with the power of his voice. Shane somehow feels every vibration of Ilya's vocal cords in his own toes. He barely understands that he's reaching his own calamitous orgasm before it's right there, sudden and stunning like a puck to the gut, and Ilya's voice is still in his ear, low and intense, stroking over his stomach and telling him, "So good, Shane. Let it go."
And because Ilya has set such a lovely example, Shane can't help but turn his head, all the better to be heard, and let it go.
I do actually truly believe that there is nothing that Shane Hollander hates more than having to plan things. It takes him the whole night sitting there in the dark to come up with the objectively pretty bare bones and lackluster plan of 1. Ilya plays for Ottawa 2. Start a charity 3. ???? 4. Be Together Someday. For real.
This to me does not yell man with a plan. This to me says man who is so desperate to love and be loved that he is digging his nails into the only thing he wants and clinging to it. Desperate enough that he'll stay up until four in the morning with his heart rabbiting in his chest and his mind spinning faster than the earth itself trying to come up with something, ANYTHING that lets him. Fucking. Keep. This.
But on a normal day? He thrives on routine SPECIFICALLY so that he does not have to plan shit. Mr. I Hired A Stylist pays people and his MAMA to do that for him. For the things that don't involve hockey or his brand deals, Mr. A Designer Bought These Pillows just trundles along behind his husband and goes where he's told no questions asked. He fucking LOVES to wake up in the morning and have every aspect of his day prepared for him. He loves to wake up and scroll his color-coded calendar and know exactly what's on the docket. He's got a routine that he does not deviate from if he can POSSIBLY help it and it looks a little something like:
wake up when the alarm goes off.
SOMETIMES: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
If sex with Ilya: Shower (Unless the sex with Ilya was in the shower)
Smoothie
go on run when the alarm goes off.
Come home and drink exactly the amount of water in the bottle he prefilled before his jog
Do yoga until the alarm goes off
Shower
Meal prepped breakfast
Game Tape OR admin OR workout OR whatever Yuna's put on the schedule until the alarm goes off.
SOMETIMES: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
Shower, if needed.
Meal prepped lunch
Pre-game nap
[INSERT HOCKEY HERE.]
Come home.
PROBABLY: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
Eat meal prepped dinner.
Wind-down time until the alarm goes off.
SOMETIMES: Sex with Ilya. Whatever Ilya decides.
Bed
He does not want to think about where he's going or what he's doing, he wants to follow his husband around like a duckling and go play whatever hockey game he's supposed to and lay on his back when his husband wants and be told with 2-4 days' notice if something is going to be Weird on Wednesday.
happy
Do you guys ever think about Ilya waking up at the cottage for the first time. Was he disoriented at all. Did he have a brief moment where he forgot where he was. Was he confused at how well rested he was. How warm and calm and sated. Was he wary of how peaceful he felt. Did he see Shane sleeping on his shoulder and sit there stunned as he tried to figure out if this was a really vivid dream because no way he actually got to have this. Did he have to piss because Shane was lying on his bladder
hollanov + gilbert baker's original pride flag