some fun holiday aus
it’s black friday and you’re laying on the ground and i’m not sure if you’re breathing?? are you okay?? i’m just gonna. buy what you have and take you to my place so you can recover without getting trampled (bonus: everything you’re buying is really bizarre like why are you buying loofahs on black friday??)
i’m a sales associate and i have to work on black friday and you’ve been spending the last 10 minutes yelling that this coupon is still valid and i hate to break it to you but that coupon expired last week (NO I WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE DISCOUNT ANYWAYS)
i’m 25 and have never brought a date to christmas and my family is getting on my ass i’m sorry to drag you into this but we’ve been best friends for like 10 years can you be my date? you get free presents and food (also i’ve been in love with you for ages but you don’t have to know that shh)
they’re having a holiday concert down at the local auditorium and you’re a featured soloist and holy shit you’re really good (and really cute) i’m gonna congratulate you afterwards (and ask you for your number)
i’m a last-minute christmas shopper and you’re a store clerk who has to work on christmas eve which. i’m sorry you should not have to deal with me because i’m a combination of total bitch and ready to fall over from exhaustion (bonus: i sway dangerously, almost passing out and you ask for my number so you can make sure i get home safe)
this movie opens christmas night and it’s sold out right away and i have two tickets because i was supposed to have a date tonight but they stood me up?? and you’re cute so you can be my replacement date (but it turns out you’re way better than my other date could ever be)
i’m dating you, the local mall santa, and i spend any time i’m there flirting with you and trying to get you to break character (bonus: my ringtone for you is santa baby)
the door to your practice room at the gym isn’t shut all the way so i can clearly see you practicing the jingle bell rock routine from mean girls
my roommate loves christmas but i’m a total scrooge. we’ve reached a compromise where they can do as much christmas stuff as they want AFTER THANKSGIVING. our apartment is very plain when i go to sleep on thanksgiving but when i wake up the next day there’s ornaments in my face and you’re blaring christmas music
our friends keep trying to shove us under the mistletoe together at this christmas party and as soon as we catch on we spend the rest of the party coming up with increasingly dramatic and disastrous ways to thwart their plans
we wore our ugly christmas sweaters on the same day so now we’re in a silent competition of ugly sweaters and look guys i really need to borrow all your ugly christmas sweaters this loser’s going down
our floor’s having a christmas movie marathon and we’re watching rudolph right now and- wait are you crying
your job has a holiday uniform that is usually totally hideous but on you it’s really endearing??
i’m going sledding and holy shit i just ran you over i am so sorry are you okay??
you just beaned me in the back of the head with a snowball as i was heading home and oh no you do not hit me with a snowball and just get away with it this is WAR AND YOU ARE GOING DOWN (bonus: we somehow manage to get everybody else that walks by involved and there’s alliances and giant forts and maybe we’re getting a little bit carried away- wait we’re on the local snap story??)
5/5 strongly approve
