Carpe Noctem @carpenoctemcanada-blog - Tumblr Blog

writing again

yeah, it has been ages since I have. Since it has been a while, I have to admit. I have been using physical character references. I have been following this guy on tumblr. I have no desire to really meet him or talk to him. I am not quite stalking him, but using his physical traits, voice and other things as a muse for a science fiction piece I have been reworking.

#the vulgar irishman #not a stalker #science fiction writing #writer

andreis-reaper

No 1 reason nobody wants to be the weird kid in school

It doesn’t go away. It doesn’t magically stop the moment you enter the work force. Once a weird kid always a weird kid.

carpenoctemcanada-blog

It wasn't until I got older that I knew somewhat different. People judge no matter what. Being happy is what matters. Fuck the rest.

eatdrinkbscary-blog

Sex...

It feels great, can change a mood or better a situation temporarily. The one thing that is better than sex when you've been single for months or maybe years? Being held, hearing the person breathe and their heart beating in total utter silence or with the world seeming to stop because they've pulled themselves close to you. They've pulled you in to listen to the most intimate of sounds with trust and hope. Trusting you're not out to break their heart, and hoping that the loneliness ends with you.

#sex #intimacy #heart #heartbreak #relationship #love #trust #hope #hopeful #closeness #Truth about being single #faith #world stop #better than sex

I have an opportunity if I save up and work hard and get good grades. My last year of school I can transfer my credits to a university in south Wales for a degree. All my supports for the kids are here and that means starting over anew. If I stay in Canada, I can stay with my mom. If I leave I have to do everything on my own and have to really be a student and a full time mom who sacrifices everything for the grades and her children. Here I have safety and security, but I lose the chance to get a degree. Just a diploma. I am lost on what to do. I have always been drawn to that part of the world and living abroad. It has been calling me since I turned 19. I am 34. I have gotten to the point where coasting on others has been killing me inside and I want to leave, start fresh. No matter how hard it might be. My mom on the other hand told me to go, then told my son not to worry when he was freaking out over uniforms that I just needed to get my head out of the clouds. Everyone tells me.to do what will make me happy. Truth is, I don't know. I know I would be home sick and miss everyone. But yet again, I don't go places anymore because my mom never did when she had me. I have been made to feel that if I sacrifice time, energy or go out that my sons suffer. I go to college from 8am and until just before they get home. Do homework when they're sleeping. I have been told I am selfish for wanting top grades and working hard to get them. So I stop and my grades suffer. I need solid advice. Is there anyone listening at all? A degree means a ba in Canada which means a teaching certificate. I could use that in order to teach if I can't get a job in my desired field.

#help me #advice #advice needed #what would you do #what would you say #would you go?#immigration #should i leave?#college #university #feeling lost

For a whole school year, I had this song in my head. It drove me nuts.

Today is kind of a sad day for my kids. Their beloved snowball crossed over the rainbow bridge.

Can you say happy dog?

#iced lemonade #german shepherd #summer

lightsindarkuniverse

carpenoctemcanada-blog

Beautiful

Moody

Have you ever woken up ok and throughout the day had it where people have turned your mood into extreme irritation? This is me.right now. I am so bitchy, that I could fist fuck a hoard of hells angels into submission. Dear god, let this just be a quick thing of pms.

I have always been told by my mother to go for my dreams. To work hard and shoot for them. Lately, because my father us passed on and I have been living here with her and the kids, it seems that they're not welcome. The dreams and aspirations. I can't fathom why someone who loves you would want you to get your head out of the clouds (or so they think). I always want to further myself or do stuff that most people older than me can't understand. Vera Wang didn't become a wedding dress designer until she was forty. And a few other people didn't make it big until they found their passion and jumped abroad, or found newer footing. Sometimes, you just have to leave the comfort zone. I am too comfortable here and it isn't challenging me to be otherwise. There is nothing left in Hamilton, especially in fantasy art or graphics.

Family.. I know many of them don't understand why I live the way I do. I told my aunt that I would like to relocate for college and work in my third year in. They gave me heck for being a student for 3 years or more. That apparently, I am to have my life together by a certain amount of time. Did I miss out on something?

andreis-reaper

I’m not online as much as I was, so I gotta ask; the fuck is with the shocking increase of porn bots?

Can’t check my inbox without being offered an Asian mistress or a Russian bride

carpenoctemcanada-blog

You're not the only one! When i started to gay male porn offers, I just howled. Men in leather are hot and all, but the offer I was getting from the bot service before I posted I was a chick was quite funny to see. Men in leather, piercings and chest hair are hot. Especially if they don't mind me listening to Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and other classic rock while I drink with my feet up. Metal is for driving and other fast movements.