Some may find it interesting to know that I imagine myself to have a British accent. In fact, I think this book will be much more enjoyable if you were to read it as though it were me narrating- if I were british. Thereās something about the British way of formulating words that seems so much smarter. Each word has more depth, more philosophy when it comes from someone who sounds like they came straight out of Oxford with many fancy and expensive degrees and awards dedicated to proving to each and every person just how eloquent they are. Thereās nothing eloquent about being American. Nothing about my own American accent would lead people to assume I have degrees, or even that I can read, or that I am writing a book (by the time you read this I assume the correct phrase would be āI wrote a bookā but Iāve only decided to write a book in the last five minutes, so forgive my verbiage- and my insecurity that leads me to use the word āverbiageā). (That book could feature this glorified blog post, or it could be another form of writing, I haven't decided yet)
This isnāt to say that I think all British people are smart, or that if you donāt sound like you could be in Harry Potter you speak with the diction and rhetoric of a heathen, but I will admit that words simply sound better.
Returning to my earlier comment about the depth of each word, I find it compelled to point out cuss words. If I werenāt an American I might call them ācurse wordsā but I find cuss is a more accurate descriptor, especially as I attempt to make this book sound less formal and appeal to people my age rather than making myself out to be some sort of scholar from the nineteenth century. I have gotten side tracked, back to cuss words I suppose. Every word we speak has a certain depth to it. This changes depending on volume, and pitch, and pronunciation, and enunciation. All these aspects of said spoken word come together to form the tone of the word, which is used to convey the emotion driving the word. This is how things like sarcasm were invented- a completely separate meaning from the words we are actually speaking. Consider the word āFuckā. When it is whispered, or muttered, or mumbled we can assume something unfortunate has happened. When it is shouted, shrieked, or choked out we can assume something devastating has occurred. When it is spoken in any other way, one must make their own judgments using the context of the conversation and/or circumstances in which the word was used. Some people enjoy throwing around cuss words like theyāre any other word, like they have no significance. Some choose to eliminate them from their vocabulary entirely because of some moral or ethical standard they hold themselves too, which is completely beyond my understanding, but Iāll get to that later.
Now, for a brief exercise, I want you to say the word āFuckā aloud to yourself. Go on. If your parents or teachers are around and you fear punishment or discipline I would accept it being in your head- as long as you actually say it to yourself in some way, because I will know if you cheated because you will get to the point Iām attempting to make and you wonāt understand it and I would really not like to receive your hate-email. Alright, if youāve done it, we may proceed. Now, I want you to imagine a british person saying the word āFuckā. How does it change? Maybe youāre thinking of the vowel shape, or the stress they put on the āckā at the end, or even the length of time they take to push the air through their teeth and lips for the āFā sound. But just focus on the depth of the word. How do the different āFuckāās make you feel? Anyone who has heard a British person say the word āFuckā would be absolutely insane to argue that the word does not sound deeper, and- in itās nature, no matter pitch, volume, or diction -better coming from someone who speaks as though they are from the United Kingdom.
It could be odd for me to admit that I want people to like the way I cuss. I like the way British people cuss, and that could be my simple insecurities, but Iād like to believe that itās simply because I want people to listen to me. Iāve always enjoyed listening to people with accents. Their words become more fascinating, their stories more enjoyable, their jokes seem funnier when they donāt speak like me. If I were a psychologist I would find myself analyzing my distaste for American culture- or lack thereof (excuse me for getting political) -and the idea of being associated with it. I would much rather have been raised in some place like Scotland or Ireland or the United Kingdom. That said, this is from the perspective of someone who has not lived in- or even visited -any country other than America, and who has never experienced life outside of her home country.
I donāt want this to be taken as a distaste for freedom, or basic human rights, or the American Constitution, or my country as a whole. In complete transparency I will admit, most of what Iāve seen of America Iāve quite liked- no matter how little that portion is. No, itās mostly the places I havenāt seen that I dislike. And thatās not to say that I dislike the geography or the people, I would never be blind or arrogant enough to assume that. But more I dislike the culture in those places. I dislike the culture in the places Iāve seen on the news- because I wouldnāt know of the culture in any place that hasnāt been on the news, considering the journalistic media is almost entirely filled with negative subject matter. The places that get on the news- at least the ones that have lately -are very odd places to me. Not odd in the fact that they have this culture that I dislike, but in the fact that they donāt want to change it. Iāve observed that most people who have outdated views or even a favored point of view towards censorship that they sometimes disguise by calling themselves āConservativeā are less willing to reevaluate or alter their views than those of other beliefs or moral standings. That is not to say that all who identify as Conservative are censors (a word I will quickly become familiar with, as will you as I have just chosen to use it to describe these people), I have met and have adored many Conservative and Conservative-leaning people. I would even go as far as saying Iāve agreed with them on many modern issues.
But it is the unwillingness to change that fascinates me among these people. Some will riot about freedom of speech and the right to carry a firearm, but the second that their son wants the freedom to express their love of fashion or makeup the āfreedomā they so openly believe in is stripped away from him. Freedom of expression has got to be the most ridiculous and deceitful notion this country has ever claimed. If we truly had freedom of expression, weād be allowed to use cuss words in school. Maybe then weād learn to use them with the same conviction as they do across the pond. If freedom of expression wasnāt a blatant lie, women would be able to show their nipples in public. Just because Iām uncomfortable showing my areolas, doesnāt mean that Mary-Anne next door should have to wear a shirt to walk down the street. Iād even go as far as saying that I might be comfortable showing my areolas if I hadnāt been raised in a society where it was unacceptable. We are finally just now starting to accept women not wearing bras- which is ridiculous, because my Male-identifying eighth-grade math teacherās nipples were much much much more distracting to the class than mine wouldāve been. He was the one actually in front of everyone teaching, but he wasnāt forced to wear a bra. Though, imagining the shock and the confusion that wouldāve ensued had I complained does satisfy the feminist in me the slightest bit. Alas, I will withhold from pointing out that I doubt anything would have been done in such a scenario considering the culture of the small town that I grew up in. All that said, it is this type of expression that is being censored endlessly throughout our country. It is this censorship that I see in our everyday lives that leads me to believe I would much rather live in the UK as- at least from what Iāve seen through the media I have openly chosen to consume -they seem to swear a lot more, which also leads me to believe that they mostly likely have at least slightly less censorship than we do here in America. All that being said, I am fully aware that people still canāt walk around with their feminine areolas out and about in the UK, so I do acknowledge that this is a worldwide issue.
I have already admitted to the fact that things are improving. People are becoming more and more accepting of women no longer choosing to wear bras if they donāt find them necessary. However, that doesn't stop me from hoping for a better future, where women and men are free to walk around as naked as they please, and children and adults of all ages are allowed to swear as concisely and as aggressively as they see fit.