Carrotdiscs

Noah (Aries), He/Him Pronouns I no longer want to kill myself

[lousolversons]

new fave reaction image just dropped for me

[chilewithcarnage]

[prokopetz]

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

[xeansicemane]

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

[vexwerewolf]

[missmacfire]

[hamkittens]

[orcboxer]

You really can just say like "be nice to each other" and end up getting hate asks here.

[gaybichon]

LMFAO

[gaybichon]

[annieisyourfavourite]

[ID:

First image is a screenshot of a quote tweet. The original tweet is by @FrozenAesthetic and it shows a stick figure person leaning towards a computer. The text reads, "Share a piece of lore about yourself".

The quote tweet is from @Deliclit and it reads: "One time I took selfies of myself on Snapchat and put them on Twitter cuz I thought I looked good and then they went viral and then someone thought I looked like a douchebag which I did and they put a certain text over it and because of that I have prevented a lot of suicides".

The second photo shows the aforementioned meme, which is a selfie of a white guy shirtless with the text, "Nooo don't kill yourself your so sexy aha" over it.

The third photo is another quote tweet. The original tweet is by @FartPog and reads: "sometimes u just gotta say Im gonna Kill Myself and move on". The quote tweet, once again by @Deliclit reads: "And that's where I come in".

End ID]

[ethically-sourced-pizza]

[heckling-hydrena]

being mutuals with really skilled artists is so funny. van gogh & monet are in the tags of my shitposts telling me they love my sense of humor. I feel like roger rabbit

[regal-bones]

Holy ground

[regal-bones]

guys I went back to recreate this and. It’s gone.

Pour one out for butt dyke house

[girlkaramazov]

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

[romanceyourdemons]

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

[romanceyourdemons]

#ow

[romanceyourdemons]

#stuck

[glowcowboy]

[charl0ttan]

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

[druggonaut]

Wrong! Humans irrelevant and obsolete now

[charl0ttan]

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[helllnotes]

Ask me to walk on fucking water Malborn

[cottoncandylesbo]

putting carbonated water in my super soaker and spraying it at dogs (they absorb the bubbling nature of the liquid and begin to ascend into the sky) (thousands watch in awe) (no one does anything) (the sight is, in essence, divine)

[unsubconscious]

A woman admires the enormous size of a Sequoia tree, California 1950s. 

[thalassata]

child of divorce

[kitkenk]

screw bedtime 😈😈 tonight we are staying up until 9pm