You Have to Carry On

I occasionally write things. Icon by @gutsnstuff. Header by @magickspills.

[carryonsnowbaz]

Why am I just now realizing that Simon and Baz both lost their mother when they were really young?

I mean, I obviously knew that, but I’m just now putting it together as they they had in common. I was usually focused on the whole Simon having no parents while Baz still had two. It would be interesting to look at how losing their moms affected each of them.

[animatedtext]

[carryonsnowbaz]

Baz @ Simon

[magiannaladdmac]

It’s confirmed - Simon only goes to football practices and games because he thinks Baz is hot

Like, we already knew it, but it’s nice to see confirmation.

[that-disabled-princess]

Simon “I don’t play football much” Snow: *lying through his teeth* Yeah I guess I like playing, even though I don’t play as much as I used to, but I love going to games for the sport! Definitely go for the football! Not because I want to watch my totally-not-fit roommate on the pitch!

[heeytwelve]

You’ve seen a lot of art with Baz in skirt, but what about Simon in skirt? 😎

[fcstation1063]

Nonbinary punk Baz and trans pastel Simon moodboards. I can’t decide if I love them or hate them :)

@transmagesweek​

[carryonsnowbaz]

Ahh these are amazing!! I love them!

[palimpsessed]

Carry On Crack!Fest

Simon finally goes full dragon, but Margaret was right, and he just turns into a kitten. 😻

(Please click for better quality.)

He likes taking naps, hunting rats (that he brings back for Baz), playing with his red ball of yarn, eating sour cherry scones, and playfully tormenting his long suffering boyfriend.

@co-crack-fest

[carryonsnowbaz]

Aww this is so cute 😍😍❤❤

[stardustasincocaine]

Let Simon And Shepard Have A Soda Stream And Carbonate All The Things 2k21

Including, but not limited to, blood for Baz.

Gothic La Croix.

La Croix Rouge.

Bublé Blood.

God speed, chaos gremlins. God speed.

[carryonsnowbaz]

This idea is great!! I love it!

[crankybeetle]

Baz baz baz baz

Probably gonna color some of these

[carryonsnowbaz]

Ahh these are all so good. I can't stop staring at them

[findingniamho-deactivated202605]

100 days til Any Way the Wind Blows!

~🐟

[carryonsnowbaz]

I want someone to love me (for who I am)

My fic for day 1 of @transmagesweek

Prompts: fake dating + prom + coming out

I didn’t title this until I wrote the last line and immediately thought of Nick Jonas’ song Who I Am, and then it just felt right.

Summary: It’s prom night, and as Fiona and Ebb dance together, Fiona decides that she’s ready to come out to Ebb, so they go somewhere to talk.

Word Count: 819

Read it on ao3

***

Fiona

The last song of our senior prom plays through the speakers as those of us who stuck it out to the end of the dance move together on the makeshift dance floor, and even though I have Ebb in my arms as we sway together, it doesn’t feel right. This isn’t how I imagined it.

Yes, I wanted to go to prom with Ebb and dance with her all night, which is what I got, but I didn’t want it like this, with secrets keeping us apart.

We didn’t even come us a couple. Not a real one anyway. Neither of us had a date, so we thought it would be fun to come as a fake couple.

And it was fun for the most part. It’s just, as we dance together, I can’t help but let my thoughts keep me from enjoying this moment completely.

It’s hard to believe that our last year of high school is coming to an end. In a few weeks we’ll graduate, but there’s still so much I want to say.

Not only am I hiding my true feelings for Ebb, but I also have a much bigger secret that I’ve been working up towards telling Ebb for a long time. And tonight, I think I’m ready.

The song ends, and reluctantly, I let go of Ebb and step back.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” I ask.

“Sure. The diner?” She asks, suggesting one of our favorite places to go.

It’s an all-night diner, and we always end up there at least once a week with milkshakes and fries.

Tonight, we sit together in a corner booth beneath a flickering light, and it feels like any other day. But this time, I want it to be different. I want to tell her the things I’ve been holding in for so long. I just have to figure out how.

Once we’ve ordered, I slip off my suit jacket and lean back against the cracked red vinyl, comfortable in the familiarity of this place.

We fall into an easy conversation as we begin to eat, dipping our fries in the milkshakes, the way we’ve always done.

My thoughts keep wandering away from the conversation, though, as I try to think of a way to say what I need to. I don’t think Ebb will react negatively to this, but the worry is still there. This could change everything.

Finally, I just decide to say it.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I say, picking at the chipped table as I avoid her gaze.

“What is it?” She asks, her tone soft and comforting.

I force myself to take a deep breath before I look up and say, “I’m trans.”

Once the words are out, I want to get up and run. I’m not sure I’m ready to face her reaction, but it’s too late. The words are out there, and I can’t take them back.

“Oh,” she says, not letting on much about she feels. But then she smiles at me, and I know that everything is going to be alright. “I’m glad you felt like you could tell me this.”

I simply nod because I’m not sure what to say. Even though I’ve imagined this conversation a thousand times, I was never really sure how she’d react or what I would say.

I feel a wave of relief, though, that she isn’t disgusted by me and like maybe this will be okay.

I’m not sure what I want to do, if I want to transition or not, but just saying the words to someone is enough for now.

Ebb reaches her hand out across the table, and hesitantly, I take it.

Her hand is warm and soft as it wraps around mine, anchoring me and pulling me from my thoughts.

“I want you to know that I love you no matter what, Fiona.” She seems to hesitate for a moment before she continues to speak. “I…I’m in love with you.”

Her words take my breath away, and I’m speechless.

I never thought that I would hear her say those words to me, and it takes me a moment to recover so that I can respond.

“I love you, too.”

Her whole face lights up, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, cause my heart to do flips in my chest.

A few minutes later we end up in the parking lot by my car, and I can’t wait any longer.

I push her up against the passenger door and kiss her, my hands coming up to tangle in her soft curls, as our lips slide together perfectly.

Her arms wrap around my waist, holding me closer, and I can’t believe this is actually happening.

I never thought that I would get a moment as good as this, feeling wholly accepted and loved for who I am.

[subparselkie]

WIN A SIMON!

Baz would no joke spend all day trying to win one😂

[findingniamho-deactivated202605]

As would I! 🐟

[carryonsnowbaz]

aww this is so cute!! 😍😍

[letraspal]

You were the sun, and I was crashing into you. I’d wake up every morning and think, “This will end in flames.”

[carryonsnowbaz]

I love this. It’s so sofffttt <333

[carryonsnowbaz]

I want someone to love me (for who I am)

My fic for day 1 of @transmagesweek

Prompts: fake dating + prom + coming out

I didn’t title this until I wrote the last line and immediately thought of Nick Jonas’ song Who I Am, and then it just felt right.

Summary: It's prom night, and as Fiona and Ebb dance together, Fiona decides that she's ready to come out to Ebb, so they go somewhere to talk.

Word Count: 819

Read it on ao3

***

Fiona

The last song of our senior prom plays through the speakers as those of us who stuck it out to the end of the dance move together on the makeshift dance floor, and even though I have Ebb in my arms as we sway together, it doesn’t feel right. This isn’t how I imagined it.

Yes, I wanted to go to prom with Ebb and dance with her all night, which is what I got, but I didn’t want it like this, with secrets keeping us apart.

We didn’t even come us a couple. Not a real one anyway. Neither of us had a date, so we thought it would be fun to come as a fake couple.

And it was fun for the most part. It’s just, as we dance together, I can’t help but let my thoughts keep me from enjoying this moment completely.

It’s hard to believe that our last year of high school is coming to an end. In a few weeks we’ll graduate, but there’s still so much I want to say.

Not only am I hiding my true feelings for Ebb, but I also have a much bigger secret that I’ve been working up towards telling Ebb for a long time. And tonight, I think I’m ready.

The song ends, and reluctantly, I let go of Ebb and step back.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” I ask.

“Sure. The diner?” She asks, suggesting one of our favorite places to go.

It’s an all-night diner, and we always end up there at least once a week with milkshakes and fries.

Tonight, we sit together in a corner booth beneath a flickering light, and it feels like any other day. But this time, I want it to be different. I want to tell her the things I’ve been holding in for so long. I just have to figure out how.

Once we’ve ordered, I slip off my suit jacket and lean back against the cracked red vinyl, comfortable in the familiarity of this place.

We fall into an easy conversation as we begin to eat, dipping our fries in the milkshakes, the way we’ve always done.

My thoughts keep wandering away from the conversation, though, as I try to think of a way to say what I need to. I don’t think Ebb will react negatively to this, but the worry is still there. This could change everything.

Finally, I just decide to say it.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I say, picking at the chipped table as I avoid her gaze.

“What is it?” She asks, her tone soft and comforting.

I force myself to take a deep breath before I look up and say, “I’m trans.”

Once the words are out, I want to get up and run. I’m not sure I’m ready to face her reaction, but it’s too late. The words are out there, and I can’t take them back.

“Oh,” she says, not letting on much about she feels. But then she smiles at me, and I know that everything is going to be alright. “I’m glad you felt like you could tell me this.”

I simply nod because I’m not sure what to say. Even though I’ve imagined this conversation a thousand times, I was never really sure how she’d react or what I would say.

I feel a wave of relief, though, that she isn’t disgusted by me and like maybe this will be okay.

I’m not sure what I want to do, if I want to transition or not, but just saying the words to someone is enough for now.

Ebb reaches her hand out across the table, and hesitantly, I take it.

Her hand is warm and soft as it wraps around mine, anchoring me and pulling me from my thoughts.

“I want you to know that I love you no matter what, Fiona.” She seems to hesitate for a moment before she continues to speak. “I…I’m in love with you.”

Her words take my breath away, and I’m speechless.

I never thought that I would hear her say those words to me, and it takes me a moment to recover so that I can respond.

“I love you, too.”

Her whole face lights up, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, cause my heart to do flips in my chest.

A few minutes later we end up in the parking lot by my car, and I can’t wait any longer.

I push her up against the passenger door and kiss her, my hands coming up to tangle in her soft curls, as our lips slide together perfectly.

Her arms wrap around my waist, holding me closer, and I can’t believe this is actually happening.

I never thought that I would get a moment as good as this, feeling wholly accepted and loved for who I am.

[gibbarts]

He’s the chosen one!

[ampervadasz]

[dinkywinks]

you’re laughing. he’s failing his acrobatics check and you’re laughing

[carryonsnowbaz]

trans!Fiona

I’ve had this idea in my head about Fiona being a trans man for a while, but I decided to wait until @transmagesweek to post it. This idea is what the majority of the things I post this week will revolve around, so I thought it would be a good thing to start out with it. I'll also be posting a fic to go with today's prompts later today.

Fiona came out when he was younger but only to a few people: Ebb, Nico, and Natasha

But then he lost all of that 

Nico decided to become a vampire, which cause Ebb to withdraw into herself and it was almost like she was gone too, and when Natasha died, he felt like he had no one he could talk to about this

He felt all alone and didn't feel comfortable opening up to anyone, so he drew back into the closet and stayed there, playing at being a girl even though it nearly killed him a few times - he stayed strong for Baz though because someone had to look out for him

There were so many times when he wanted to tell someone but he felt like he had no one

He wanted to talk to Ebb but it felt like too much time had passed; there was too much distance between them after all this time

Ebb, Nico, and Fiona had all been so close in school, and Fiona had loved them both dearly, but it somehow felt different with Ebb. Fiona never thought too hard about that though because he didn’t want it to ruin what they had.

It was just another secret he held that sometimes felt like it would tear him apart, but we went on with his life, keeping it all in.

As Baz got older, there were times when Fiona wanted to tell Baz that he was trans, but he felt like Baz was suffering with enough without also having to carry this secret, so he kept his mouth shut even though it meant he felt like he was constantly lying to Baz (and to himself at times)

When Baz came out to him as gay at age 15, he again wanted to tell him, but he didn’t want to take that moment away from Baz. He made sure Baz knew he was loved no matter what (and wondered if Baz would feel the same about him when it came down to it)

Time passed and Fiona kept to himself

He watched after Baz and went on with his life, suffering silently by himself

But when he heard that Ebb had nearly been killed by the mage (because Ebb deserved to live) he went to her, tears in his eyes and an unnamable feeling in his chest.

"You're alive," he said. "So are you." "Of course I am. Nothing will ever kill me, remember?” It’s an old joke between them, but it falls flat now. Things just aren’t the same anymore.

"So how have you been?" Ebb asks, and Fiona is quiet for a long time before tears burn at his eyes, threatening to spill over as the truth overwhelms him. "Honestly? Not great." Ebb pulls him into her arms and rubs his back soothingly ass he whispers "it's okay. It will all be okay." And then they're both crying as Fiona finally allows himself to feel the pain he's been hiding for years.

"I'm trans," Fiona whispers. "I know." "No one else does." "That doesn’t make it any less real. You're still you." "Thank you."

They’re quiet for a while, simply holding onto each other like if they let go, the world will fall apart.

Fiona decides that while he’s getting things off his chest, he might as well confess his other big secret, and before he’s even made the decision to do so, the words are spilling out of his mouth: "I love you."

Ebb pulls back to meet his eyes as she says, “I love you, too. But why did you never say anything?" "You were in love with that dryad, and I didn’t want to ruin things." Ebb nods knowingly. Things were different back then.

They talk for a while after that, catching up and listening to each other about what they’ve been up to since the last time they saw each other.

Nothing is certain between them, but Fiona is smiling as he leaves, knowing that things will be okay. They can close this distance between them and at the very least be friends.

After talking with Ebb, Fiona decides it's time to tell Baz. He's tired of hiding himself from the world, especially the people he cares most about.

He doesn’t care as much about what anyone else will think or say, but he does care what Baz will think and it's time to face that, whatever happens.

It turns out that Baz also has something to tell Fiona, but Fiona asks him to wait. He needs to get this off his chest before he can have a chance to change his mind.

Fiona has been thinking about how he would tell Baz he was trans for years, but it’s still difficult to get the words out.

Somehow, it felt easier to come out to his friends when he was younger. It seemed as simple as telling them that he felt like a boy, but it isn’t that simple now. It feels like with just a few words, he could lose everything.

But he won’t back out now. He still tells Baz.

To Fiona's relief, Baz doesn’t have a problem with it. Baz hugs him and says that he loves him, and Fiona hadn’t realized until that moment how worried he was that he might never hear those words from Baz again after this, and for the second time that day, he feels tears filling his eyes.

"What should I call you?" Baz asks as Fiona wipes away his tears. "Fiona is fine for now." "Okay." He simply accepts it, which is another great relief to Fiona.

To get some of the attention off of himself for a bit, Fiona asks Baz what he wanted to tell him, and that’s when Baz tells him that he’s dating Simon.

A large part of Fiona wants to be mad because it’s the mages bloody heir, but he loves Baz, and if this is who he loves, Fiona will find a way to be okay with that.

"I'm happy for you," Fiona tells him. "Really?" "Of course. I told you that I’ll love you no matter what. It just might take me some time to love the idea of you dating the chosen one." Baz nods and laughs lightly. "That’s understandable."

They hug and in that moment they’re both happy. But this is just the beginning.

Fiona has a long road ahead of him. To figure out how to love himself and accept himself and find a way to be himself in a way that makes him comfortable but having the two people he loves most in the world by his side makes a huge difference.

Things don’t seem so difficult anymore, and when he looks ahead at the future, he has hope.

[trans-mages]

The event starts TOMORROW!!!

Are we excited??

We’ll be expecting you!!

[ Rules & Guidelines | Daily prompts ]