A lot of awtwb has Simon discovering intimacy, how to build a solid relationship he actually wants, and how to express his huge, overwhelming feelings for who he knows is the love of his life. I also think this includes Simon discovering how genuine (and overwhelming) sexual attraction feels for him.
Here, Baz opens his mouth for Simon while they kiss, and the temperature is rising. Simon is getting aroused. And part of his thoughts is that they’re “stoking fires in each other” (passion) (horny) and that he doesn’t understand what this is. Simon being attracted to Baz is nothing new by this point, but being able to act on it so freely, without inhibitions or negative emotional baggage “getting in the way” is new for him. (It’s especially new for him to be able to do this at Watford too!). This is a kiss that’s basically “setting Simon on fire” and it doesn’t take long until he’s dry-humping Baz.
This isn’t the only scene that has Simon discovering how attraction actually feels like for him, and where it can lead (or where it is supposed to lead). So many things (that I won’t get into here) are happening during the first time Simon and Baz get off together, and I also think it’s especially relevant that, while we see some kisses/intimate scenes in both POVs, we only see this in Simon’s POV, and we only see the aftermath in Baz’s (we’re getting back here)
“I want something, but I don’t know what, or what am I supposed to take”: Simon knows he wants to do something about his attraction to Baz, but he also sounds like he’s trying to understand sex, and not in a mechanical or a practical sense. Why do people do it? Sex for the sake of sex clearly doesn’t cut it for him. He knows he wants sex with Baz, and he’s told us he’s the only person he has ever wanted. And it’s not about pleasure just for the sake of it, it’s not just about getting off for him. Actually getting there has Simon seeing and understanding sex as an expression of love, as a way to get as close as he can possibly be to Baz, which is exactly what he has wanted ever since he started following him around in 5th year. To be close.
There’s also how sex is connected to one of Simon’s love languages: to provide. Simon wants to be the one to take care of Baz (whether that’s doing a little murder to feed him, or giving him whatever he wants in bed)
All the sentences in italic are focusing on Simon’s discoveries. Simon has been looking for something while in bed with Baz, and it’s at the culmination when it seems like he has found it. It’s in the climax. Is this, is this what people do? indicates how worked up Simon is before he even tells us they’re coming. Is this what he wants? Is this what I’m allowed to take? is immediately before Baz’s orgasm. It’s Simon wondering again if this is what sex is about, if this is what Baz wants too. It’s him needing to see it on Baz’s face, and being amazed by it to the point he wonders “am I allowed to take this?”
The last three sentences in italic immediately follows Simon’s orgasm. Is this, is this, is this… is again indicating how worked up Simon is in the moment (his thoughts are derailed when he’s feeling attraction for Baz on multiple occasions). But that, followed by Is this magic? also sounds like Simon is discovering new sensations, new feelings. And I have to ask… doesn’t this make it sound like Simon is discovering an orgasm? (he also wonders Is this enough? and notably, they’re still clothed. When they get fully naked and pressed against each other, that’s when Simon finally thinks “this is enough”. It’s all about being as close to Baz as he can be, which is a mutual feeling)
I think it makes sense for the characters that Baz would have already experienced a (positive) orgasm while Simon has never had one before this moment. I’ve elaborated on Simon’s uncomfortable relationship with sex and how anything related to it has likely never been good for him before this moment, based on his dissociation (which wouldn’t have started between the events of CO and WS), the self-harm, the negative emotional state while talking about the experience he did have, etc. Going through the motions is just not gonna give you “good results”, even without getting into the messy comphet of it all! (there are negative orgasms that can happen when you force yourself to go through the motions, but those do not feel good at all, they aren’t pleasurable! but I don’t think it was even that for him). It makes perfect sense Simon wouldn’t have been able to get off during his first time. We have a paragraph that’s set up as a comparison that pretty much invites us to conclude that Simon “wasn’t turned on, wasn’t in love, didn’t really want it” during his past experience, he wasn’t feeling it (perhaps quite literally, given his disassociative tendencies). And before this, neither of his past attempts with Baz ever went very far before Simon was getting overwhelmed and shut down.
I’ve also said why I don’t think it was likely he was ever comfortable and secure enough to try wanking, and was more likely to work it out through other physical activities such as fighting or sword training. It’s kinda long so I’ll just link to that post again instead of repeating everything here. But it’s worth noting again that wanking asks for some self-knowledge: not just in the physical sense, but where does your mind likes to go to get you there? What gets you hot and bothered? Someone like Simon wouldn’t be able to answer that, having lived his teenage years repressing everything about himself that didn’t fit in a certain narrative, who has spend so long avoiding questions such as “what do I want? what do I feel?” and who decidedly avoided anything that would bring up the question of sexuality. He was quite repressed in that way.
Baz knows much more about himself, about his feelings and desires. He already knew he was attracted to Simon, and used “furious wanking” as a way to blow off steam/work through those feelings when it was too much. The whole “knowing the thing he’s experiencing is attraction” is truly key here, and so he knows what he wants to do about it (he knows Simon has moles he wants to kiss, that he wants to “spit on him then kiss him” etc). Baz is also repressed, but in a different way: any positive feelings an orgasm would cause would be overshadowed then by the negative feelings of a Baz who thinks he has unrequited feelings, who thinks he doesn’t deserve anything good, who thinks he isn’t allowed to have this. (And the last part would’ve still fucked with him, if he was wanking during the time they were together but weren’t able to be intimate).
Which takes me to Baz’s POV. Simon is so happy afterwards, because of how good it was for him. It’s very, very likely that we witnessed the first time a sexual experience is ever been good for Simon. But Baz is hesitant, even though he very much liked it too. It’s only after Simon’s reassurance that he wanted and it’s happy about this that Baz gradually relaxes and allows himself to be happy about it too. It’s also very likely that we’re witnessing the first time Baz thinks he’s allowed to have this.
In a way, the discovery of sexual pleasure (specifically tied to an expression of love) is Simon’s: this is him discovering what to do about his overwhelming desire for Baz, and where it can take both of them. And the aftermath is Baz’s: the reassurance that he has permission to enjoy this.
In short, I think this is the first time Simon is able to get off, and that this is the first time Baz feels like he’s allowed to enjoy getting off because of his feelings for Simon
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