CarvesOne

[carvesone]

Dark Necessities: Living with the new RHCP album 

The new Red Hot Chili Peppers (RHCP) album has been subject to polarizing opinions. But what’s important is the lessons in ‘unlearning’ that it imparts to the listeners.

It’s like dealing with a near and dear one having departed. You would want to placate yourself by expecting the best for yourself at every step from thereon, preferably with the presence of someone or something that would help you revisit the warm feeling that you associate with the former person involved. But it’s always going to be different, the ‘new’. And it would be much easier, much less painful if we ended up embracing the ‘new’.

You can’t sit there, pining for Frusciante; the moment has gone. It’s time to settle for the new. And if you say that ‘new’ is crap, you’re just deemed ‘irrelevant’. The new album is different, with Josh Klinghoffer trying to offer his best. But one really can’t help state the obvious. At every swelling rhythm in each song, you want Frusciante to just step in and make the song his own. But that just doesn’t happen.

For me, Kiedis and Flea are the only comforting elements of this offering; my guess is that Chad Smith has been definitely bodyswapped by Will Ferrell for most parts on this album.  

So dismissing the album as dry or boring or shit just doesn’t do it; either you learn to live with it or learn to live away from it. Much like what Kiedis croons throughout the song, these dark necessities need to be a part of your design. We have entered a new age. And letting go is just so tough.  

Frusciante may not have anything to do with RHCP anymore. But let’s just never say never.

[carvesone]

Where do we go?

What do we do? Throw rocks at the sky out of rage. Cry hoarse till our throats swell up with blisters..??

You think about your brethren around you. #SupportFTII. #OROP. #Dabholkar #Kalburgi. #Manipur. #BeefBan #PoliceBrutality #Section377  - we just keep assimilating these hashtags, and these hashtags just keep defining our diminutive lives. 

You protest silently - you’re ignored and ostracized. You pick up arms - you’re a threat to the nation. But you’re noticed. Walking the fine line is deemed as Stockholm Syndrome. Love thy captor. 

Black or White. Choose, motherfucker!

Is there a solution in a revolt? But is there a solution in slavery? They are both deep-sinking quicksand pits. And our ropes  are tied from the stomach to the big fat oak tree. The oak is dying....

 Our ‘pressing issues’ at times become so obsolete that coming across one such issue in some archival data inculcates that disgusting feeling of nostalgia in us.

Maybe there is a finish line. Maybe there’s a mirage...

*post* *share*

[carvesone]

Caution: Important

Some matters are just not worth kidding about. For example, the first shit of the day. The morning release.

It would have been better with a Gil-Scot Heron swagger, but the basic agenda is: You will not eat on the shitter, you shall not Facebook or Tweet on the shitter, you shall consume no beverage on the shitter, you will not complete your pending amorous Whatsapp conversations on the shitter, you will not open up your Word or Excel presentations on the shitter, you will not cry or sing or perform any other time-wasting tactics on the shitter, you will not take care of anything but business on the shitter 

Morning releases are more important for a good day than a good breakfast. (But, you also can’t talk about breakfast on the shitter) Followed by a glass of warm water, the release needs to be quick, wholesome and bowel-friendly. 

A good bowel movement in the morning has known to have had a good effect on the goings-on of the day that follows ahead. Emotions have ranged from ‘bliss’ to ‘extreme euphoria’, but that’s just electronic media! Practitioners have gone ahead to form companies, take over companies, win battles - and subsequently wars, write fantasy novels, gulp down flaming vodka jars with a smile, slap pigeons, shout in monasteries, throw darts at the sky........ 

Ergo the term, ‘good shit!’

So work towards a good shit, and the world will work for you.

Thank you.

[carvesone]

Why, Frusciante, why

What the fuck is up with Frusciante, man?

It's been 23 years since he first quit RHCP?? TWENTY-THREE??Time flies. Yeah. However, here, a complete generation has flown by. Those long-haired dudes and chicks who saved up to buy their CDs off the rack have now, to a large extent, turned into geezers - having traded their lyric sheets for balance sheets.

The man behind the brooding 'Under The Bridge', 'Road Trippin', the crazy 'Suck My Kiss', 'Can't Stop' and those many other tunes that we could hum - he laid down the rhythms, man. Not to forget his partners in crime - Kiedis, Flea and Chad Smith. (I don't have an issue with Klinghoffer, but you can't replace a Frusciante. Most certainly not tamper with his solos!)

His recent article mentioned him giving up making music for the general public. Well, you can't help his self-imposed, Syd Barrett-like state. The general public, nowadays, masturbates to anything EDM and house. (Other sensationalist genres of music - please do not feel left out.)

It's bad.Depression for an artiste can be a best friend. A menacing enemy. And many a times, a bullet to the head. The final premise at least takes away the pain with it.

Hope hasn't yet left the building entirely though. Bands like Pearl Jam and Foo Fighters are still trying to hold the fort down. (I wish Mars Volta would, too)

This is 2015. Try looking on the bright side.

P.S. - Do tell me if you find one.

[carvesone]

This just in

Worried about burgeoning world population?

Let's play:

If you're 25 and you don't have a good band from the '90s and '70s as your favourites, stop breathing for 20 minutes.

[carvesone]

That must be it

"Fuck it", said Vishal Bhardwaj, " I need a cup of coffee", as he left the director's seat.

Some double-agent AD of his might have jumped the opportunity and directed the last 10 minutes of Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola, subsequently obliterating the worth of a satirical masterpiece that Bollywood could have been proud of.

Moral of the story: Always carry a fucking thermos when you're directing, And run background checks on your staff.

[carvesone]

All Along The Watchtower

Spoke to a friend yesterday. All the way out to the east side. A rich state that pillaged by the establishment.

Kolkata was always on the simmer, I do not how different is it this time. But to hear it from a friend who had the good fortune of witnessing such a thing live, is a completely new territory. The Jadavpur University student protest movement began when a student was molested on campus and the Vice Chancellor simply refused to give a fuck about it, and it is catching fire on social media, and it ought to. The police force, as well as the 'alleged miscreants' from the ruling party tried to break up the crowd, beating 'the va-jesus' out of the male and female protestors alike. (Funny, a twin-pack of police brutality/abuse incidents erupted mildly here in Bombay,too. About the same time). The students are still going strong.

Hope that friend lives to see another day.

[carvesone]

Gloom

Gloom is our religion gloom is our god gloom is what we shall feed on when everything else has a price tag We will blame gods we will venerate them we will doubt their existence and excrete on them we will run from pillar to post to find gloom in everything Gloom is our religion gloom is our god gloom is the opportunity cost for the life that we have feared to live Our monies will lay down our identities Plural lives we shall lead and be happy in a cubicle, we will make and choke our dreams Gloom is our religion gloom is our god gloom is the naked man on the street with a broken-toothed smile Our carpets will make us look classy and help us hide all our dirt 'neath Censoring the truths shrouded by the young lady's skirt Gloom is our religion gloom is our god gloom is that single bullet that you flinch from loading into your gun

[carvesone]

Sherry Bobbins..............hahahahahahahahahah"

HOMER SIMPSON

[carvesone]

It's safe to assume that in today's times, the Legend of the Old Fashioned might have gotten around thanks to the overly-appreciated TV series, Mad Men. I know, Don Draper's favourite cocktail. The elixir of the ad men of the days of yore, if you may.

I had a different style of getting acquainted with this (in)famous beverage though. Some good ol' samaritan prodded me to have a shot of angostura bitters, and the overfed lamb that I am, I obliged.

The bitters hit me in two different phases - the initial, 'blech-thoo' phase, and then the (now this is, if and only if, you don't end up gulping down sweet drinks or sugar to 'make the bitter feeling go away') real taste phase. The taste of bitterness. Of life, in general. Of manning up to the situation.

That is what got me hooked. Hope you try the bitters-and-then-the-cocktail route.

Meanwhile, hanging above is some stupid video with decent actors putting down the Old Fashioned recipe for you....