an idea came to me in the middle of the night. picture this: dean and cas out on a case, somewhere post s13, i would say, sans michael problem, effectively post canon in the sense that there is no real big bad left to fight they're just sort of doing their own thing. anyway. yes. dean and cas, on a case. and cas is near human now btw! his grace has been sort of..drying up, for the lack of a better word. and he's out hunting with dean alone. and they take a case somewhere close enough to home, but not too close, and turns out it's a witch. and everything goes more or less according to plan, but then cas gets SHOT because he's reckless and stupid, and it happens in front of dean and he goes panic mode crazy but somehow they deal with the witch. and then dean like. helps cas back to the car, stitches him up in the motel room, and he is soooo mad he just gives him the cold shoulder.
and they're driving home, and dean's looking out at the road, but he's not really seeing the road, he's remembering cas getting shot, and it's like the worst kind of memory, sth that catapults you into the past and brings the awful, terrible feelings up to the surface, and really, it's good that dean's been driving since about the time that he could reach the pedals because it's only muscle memory that's keeping him on the road. and then cas sighs, loud, and dean falls back into himself, and he's so unbelievably pissed he doesn't know what to do with it. he clenches his hands around the steering wheel and locks his teeth together.
cas shifts, and says, are you just never going to speak to me again? and dean says nothing and then cas goes, can we atleast turn on your tape, and this really fans the flames inside dean because he keeps calling it dean's tape and it's not dean's tape, it's CAS' tape because dean GAVE IT to him! when dean doesn't respond to that, cas tries to reach over to the console, and dean slaps his hand away.
says, sth along the lines of how reckless people dont get car music privileges, and cas rolls his eyes heavenward. Says, i wasn't being reckless! and i'm fine, dean.
and dean shakes his head and is like oh so that wasn't you that bled all over me back at the motel?
and cas is like. squinty glaring. dean goes, that's what i thought.
and then cas glares more, takes a breath. goes: you know, you are so much worse at being calculated in the field. you're the one who's always running into places without forethought. and dean's like well i'm not the one who went and got himself shot. and cas is like IN THE SHOULDER. it's not even a bad wound. i'll heal in no time! and dean scoffs and shakes his head and cas goes you're being a real assbutt right now. and dean goes your face is being a real assbutt and cas goes what and dean goes what? shut up.
and then cas goes back to staring out the window and dean goes back to replaying the fight in his head and driving and they don't really talk more and when they get to the bunker cas just gets out the car the moment it's parked and slams the door on purpose and dean is like great. just great. watch it, you dick! and he grabs the stuff from the trunk and then when he drops everything at the map table, he sees that sam and jack are fussing over cas about the injury (his arm's like in a sling and everything) and sam asks are you okay and cas is sooo annoyed he's like you guys are the worst im literally fine. and dean goes sure you are. and cas goes don't you start with me right now. and dean is like what? like you can't be doing this shit you're not invincible like you used to be you're gonna get hurt and when you get hurt you're gonna get in trouble, and you're gonna get everyone with you in trouble and it's gonna be a bitch of a situation!!!! and cas goes FINE then I'll just go hunting on my own then you don't have to take me with you and you don't have to worry about me bring a liability and dean goes shut the fuck up you're not going on cases ALONE are you not hearing me about you being vulnerable now and cas throws his hands up or tries to and then winces and dean grabs his arm to look at it and cas goes let go and dean goes shut up and let me look at it and then he does and cas has fully pulled at dean's crude stitches and he's bleeding a little through the bandages and dean says well shit.
so sam brings dean some real suturing supplies and then looks between them but decides he values his own mental health more than maintaining deancas peace (he's been working on his affirmations lately and he's realised that he's living like a child of divorce in his own house bc of these two) and fucks off. and dean's taking care of cas and cas is silently letting him but he's also fuming. and as dean's working on redoing the stitches he's kind of also losing it a little bit and again, it's really good that he's been doing these things since before he hit the teens bc the practice is really the only thing keeping his hands steady. and he goes. fuck. cas. it's just -- it's scary, alright? you don't wanna be in the field watching your partner go down -- that's just -- and cas interrupts him and goes i wouldn't have let anything happen to you and dean goes i'm not talking about me! i don't care about that! and cas is like quiet. chastised, almost. and dean's mind is going brrrr bc he's just saying things before he can think them right. and he's telling him hunting IS like this I know that but it doesn't change that your stomach just drops when you see someone you love get hurt in the field and cas goes what and dean goes, i mean i still panic when it's sam but it's just -- it's so much worse when it's you. and cas goes what. and dean is just babbling but cas is not hearing him not really and then cas says dean. and dean stops and looks up and cas goes it's worse when it's me and dean goes wide eyed like O-O and cas goes is that what you just said? and dean goes sure. ye-yeah. and then he looks down and he's done w the stitches. so he quickly sterelizes the skin and goes. well. rest up, sleep and cas is just dial-up modem rebooting mode right now and dean books it out of there and then they don't talk about it for like two weeks until cas' modem reboot finishes and then he just jolts into his senses and then he goes to find dean and kisses him stupid THE END