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@caseytrouble-blog
Tumblr People
I love you sexy gypsies
My insides are pissed at me
I decided to make Stouffer's chicken alfredo tonight. I thought it'd be delicious. It was such a brilliant idea considering I'm lactose intolerant but the box looked amazing.
After it was cooked it looked amazing.
It tasted amazing.
My insides beg to differ. Now I have been having dates with a John and things have gotten messy.
I'm going to need a novel for this.
Maybe I will WRITE a novel for this.
Why am I watching Nick mom? This is horribly boring. I only watch the comedy routines because it shocks me that I hear the word "bitch" on Nick Jr. Hahahaha I'm so easily amused.
FARKLE
No Swearing For Me!!!
Sunday's Vidja!!!! Dating Shows and My Reactions
Men looking for a sugar mama
A lot of things irritate me about dating. I've been in the dating scene for roughly about two years now since things ended between me and my ex. I have had some horrifying dates from men saying they love me on the first date to guys just trying to get me drunk.
The NUMBER ONE thing that irritates me is when a man is looking for a sugar mama. They're sneaky about it at first, trying to pretend they will pay for a date here or there but when it ACTUALLY comes time for dinner, you show up and he shows up. The bill comes. He stares at you blankly and you're thinking to yourself..
"is this piece of shit really expecting me to pay for the first date?"
Yes. Yes he is.
Call me old-fashioned but I believe the man SHOULD pay for the first dinner date or for god's sake, at least go half. But no, my date last night expected me to pay for the WHOLE dinner. How fucking romantic.
I don't understand the logic but at that point I was so pissed I would have rather gone home and cuddled with a lizard than him.
He looked at me after I paid the bill and said "well I just don't have any money and usually don't ever."
Umm, then why the FUCK did we go to dinner and the dinner was NOT at Mcdonald's? Really? Thank you for letting me foot the bill.
He then presumed that cleaning my house would be a fair trade.
No, I'm not looking for a househusband. Cleaning is nice, but paying at least for YOUR portion is fair.
Dating sucks. Unless you want a sugar baby.
How to Piss Off Your Mother-In-Law
Swing seats dinning table
This is insane!
Scratch Offs
I always go and buy scratch offs or powerballs thinking I'm going to hit the BIG one! I know it this time! That 100 grand or 365 million bucks is mine.
You start scratching away with whatever change you can find in your pocket and you begin to wonder if that coin is a lucky coin or a bad omen. I typically don't scratch tickets with pennies because I am superstitious and think that pennies will only bring small wins like 5 bucks here or 10 bucks there. I WANT A HUNDRED THOUSAND BUCKS DAMMIT! I'm going broke for chripes sake. YouTube videos don't pay the bills! Ha! Or ... at all.. really.
But scratch offs and pull tabs may just pay the bills. Honestly when I was younger I would do "pull tab" weekends where I would strategically hunt boxes to win enough money to pay the rent for the month. I'd have $300-$500 weekends but eventually you lose, or you just start off losing.
I'm on a losing streak right now. Every time I play pulltabs I'm just a loser.
I'm the worst at the casino. I HATE when someone I'm with runs out of money and just haaaaaaangs around my slot machine. I feel like they're a bad omen too. It's like... get the hell outta here.. you lost money and you're bad losing money mojo is going to start rubbing off.
Eventually it does. Maybe it's me. More than likely it's the loser who couldn't win at the slots. Typically I make a plan, give them 5 bucks and disappear far, far away to the other side of the casino.
It's NOT a bad thing. I just can't help it.
Well I'm sitting here covered in scratch off dust on my clothes. I feel fabulous. I spent $20 to win $20. Actually I'm pretty pissed. I want to punch someone. I thought today was the day for the $100,000!!! But it wasn't.
*tears*
Damn gambling. Gets me every time.
My thoughts on the "Tampon Girl"
What the fuck kind of video was this? What was this girl thinking? I understand trying to go viral BUT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS! EAT SOME PREPARATION H OR SOMETHING ON CAMERA not your bloody tampon!!!!
I watched it and got to the part where she put it in her mouth one time and I was done. I couldn't do it. It's just disgusting. I compare it to 2 girls 1 cup.
But seriously, this girl ate her own tampon. WHY? What motivates someone to do this? Are you that desperate to go viral? All you're ever going to be known as is the chic who eats period tampons. That's it. That video is the start and end of your eccentric career.
The video isn't creative or funny. I could eat a tampon too and tape it, but I can't. I can't even handle someone with a runny nose because it makes me gag. Even spiders make me gag.
This girl needs therapy.
Fitting into my jeans...
I wish life were easier, but it's just not. If I wear my retainer I won't have a migraine, if I don't wear it, I get a migraine. If I wear my retainer I look like a nerd. So many problems! I just wanted straight teeth! Oh and white teeth. The damn tooth whitening kits hurt so bad on my teeth though.
Lately chocolate really hurts my teeth too. Maybe I'm drinking too much sprite.
I was hooked on Caribou coffee for a few months recently. I finally had to admit my life had become unmanageable and my jeans were no longer fitting. I thought coffee cake was an acceptable form of breakfast, but I think that it's about 500 calories by itself and the coffee I was getting was over 600 calories which means if I eat even one decent meal after that that I will inevitably get muffin top.
Why is it that men can drop weight so easily, but women can't? It baffles me. They just stop drinking beer and BAM, 20 pounds come off. We try that along with cutting out soda, cookies, and cake…. nothing happens. What the hell is that shit?
My ring is finally loose on my thumb. You know you've lost a couple pounds if your jewelry starts getting loose. That's when you start pondering buying more jewelry or clothes but in my mind I have to MAKE it worth it! I can't just drop two pounds and sort of fit into my jeans. I'm all or nothing. I need to see not even a bit of muffin top before I decide I'm permitted to splurge.
I then buy myself gifts, a sort of praise, like "good job Casey, good job". I hit Target, Ulta, Petco, etc. and my bags begin to fill with makeup, jeans, shirts, shoes, probably a pet fish, and maybe a new rat if I'm feeling adventurous. I justify the spending with the fact that I worked HARD to lose that weight. However it's just moreso an excuse to shop without feeling guilty. I blame my Catholic upbringing for these feelings of shame. Nothing against Catholics, it's just how I feel.
What happens when I get home with all these goodies is a different story. I set the bags on the couch and then stare at them quizzically. I know I should put things away, but then two days goes by, then three, then four, and finally I make my move after a couple weeks to put ALL of my splurges in their proper places.
The problem is that I tend to buy more within the time of cleaning up so it just adds to the pile, kind of like laundry.
My clean laundry sits in a basket until there is enough clothes on my floor to do a load. I just am unmotivated lately. Blame it on this diet and exercise stuff.
Once upon a time...
I met a boy. This boy seemed like the prince charming of my life! But this boy turned after a couple of years and an engagement ring from prince charming into a monster. I finally left him after four years of mental abuse and left him in his mess of pot and booze.
I decided the only way to get him to understand that he was moving out (after cheating on me) was to have a guy friend in my bed. It worked. My ex was convinced we were together.
I went on soooo many dates from those silly dating sites out of boredom after leaving the ex. Stay off of those sites. Every guy either says "I love you" on the first date, does meth, or will stalk you to the end of the earth, or rob you.
But anyways, getting off topic, I always have had a bad memory. The problem was that I was going on so many dates that 90% of the time I never remembered the name of the person I was going on a date with.
I would then hatch crafty plans to get a name out of the guy when we were out. I'd say "so what's your last name?"
"Johnson" he'd reply.
"Ok, what's your FULL name."
That usually did the trick but sometimes not. Then I'd resort to bringing them to meet a friend and would text my friend prior to ASK FOR HIS NAME! Because I had no idea what it was. It could have been John, Bill, Frank, there are WAY too many names out there.
The worst was getting ousted on the escapades. The guy would look at me and say "you forgot my name, didn't you?"
I am a terrible liar "no, no of course not." Then eventually I'd admit to it.
My date typically was over at that point but I figured OH WELL, I will just hop online in a bit and see who wants to go out next.
Christ was that a mess. I couldn't keep track. I took a break from dating a few months ago, but now am slowly making my way back into the battle grounds.
Chainmail and all. Possibly a personal assistant just to remember names for me too.
Uno followers
I have one follower. My dedicated roommate. I'm simply famous.
Follow meeeeeeee
I love your faces.... err face.... uno follower that I tweet at even though you're only in my basement but we're too lazy to converse in person.
Diesel or regular?
I'm sitting here with gas. I thought you'd like to know Tumblr. It's important that you're up to date on my bowel issues.
5 cans of sprite may have caused this, but I'm clearly not going to fart in front of a date I had earlier. Awkward. But if I toot and he stays, he's a fuckin keeper!
This blog entry is mostly about gas. I don't have a diesel engine car so I probably am not tooting it either. I'm 87 Octane baby. The cheap shit, like cheap wine. Good going in, shitty going out. Yup.
On another note I'm trying to eat healthy. Failure. Sprite and chocolate are not supposed to be in this diet, but they snuck their way in! Sneaky bastards.
Toot toot. Fart fart. Bye!
Ouch
I'm a certified nerd. I have to wear a retainer to sleep otherwise I will grind my teeth down to nothing. Maybe I need more calcium (lactose intolerant here!!!)
I forgot to wear this retainer for the last few days and it feels like someone took a rock hammer to my back molars. It's a lovely feeling.
It's giving me a migraine and frankly the dog pissing in my basement at random isn't helping this migraine.
Right now my stomach is turning, it's nervous at the thought that I may have cooked bad chicken. I didn't want to do it, but I was starving and I don't believe in these crazy superstitions that you need to toss out uncooked chicken after it being in the fridge for a day.
I'm a risk taker.
Back to my jaw. It's no good for chewing gummy bears or jelly beans at this point. I'm vey pissed because I'm staring at perfectly ripe Easter candy that is calling my name.
This is painful, and depressing. My sweet tooth is now a tooth with nerve problems.
Sunday's vidja is UP!!! It's here!!! Even though it's Monday!
My new comedy video about the wrathe of adult hormone issues hahaha
Buddy
My dog is laying on the bed... he's always around.
I look around for a moment and think I see him on the windowsill but it's my fucking black coat. Tripping.
I look over and see my daughter's mini shopping cart and SWEAR I thought I saw the roomie's dog. Tripping.
Where's my other dog? She's probably finding a good hunk of carpet to piss on as usual. Dammit she's getting old and is hitting the end of her time. Hard decisions.
I let all three dogs outside and they're good and quiet for about five minutes, then
YAP YAP YAP!
They aren't little dogs either. Big furry pains in the asses.
You can have one for free. They are sure to steal any pizza on any counter/surface/table/end table/coffee table