It’s late in L.A., later in El Paso, but Eddie picks up Buck’s call anyway. “Hey, what’s up?”
Buck’s sigh crackles through the phone speaker. “I did something kind of stupid, and I need you to not judge me.”
With Buck, stupid can mean a lot of things. Eddie takes a guess. “Did you…accidentally leave the gas on a stove burner on?”
“Ugh, I wish. Then I could just open the windows. No, I, uh, went out drinking with Ravi last night. After work.”
“That doesn’t sound that stupid. Ravi’s nice.”
“That’s not the stupid part. We, um. I ran into Tommy.”
Eddie’s stomach sort of—clamps down on itself. Like a vise. “Oh. And you…”
“Back to…” My place, Eddie wants to say. Our place.
Buck exhales. “Here, yeah. We. Well. You know.”
Eddie knows. He squeezes his eyes shut tight, rubs at his temple. He can see it in his head. Tommy pinning Buck against the door, the one that Eddie had walked through a thousand times. Down the hall into the bedroom. Buck’s body on the mattress, not Eddie’s mattress, not Eddie’s bed, but where Eddie’s bed used to be. He wondered if anyone but Buck would ever be able to spot the patches on the wall. It’s not my house anymore, he tells himself, and his mouth sours with it.
“Are you going to see him again?” Eddie’s voice comes out rougher than he expected. A demand.
Buck sounds startled. “I—no. I’m not. It’s over.”
“Good. Don’t do it again.” Eddie forces himself to unclench his jaw.
“I won’t see Tommy again,” Buck says.
And that’s just what Eddie’s asked for, but—it’s not enough. He knows this is insane, knows this isn’t how it works, that he has no right to make any claim on how Buck spends his nights, but—
“I mean with anyone,” Eddie blurts out.
“I don’t want you fucking anyone else in our house,” Eddie says.
Buck is silent. Eddie digs the heel of his hand against his cheekbone. He feels a little sick. Stupid, weird, fucked this all up—
“Okay,” Buck says. “Okay, I won’t.”
Eddie lets out a shaky breath. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Buck murmurs. “Listen, I’ve gotta, uh. Good night, Eddie.”
“Night, Buck.” Eddie hangs up. Stares at the ceiling. Our house.
snowghoul
discoholicmusic
andulkaphoto
stormborns
janainaart
