So I was showing my sister your amazing Q-A posts, when I came across Peter's. I realized that you just keep mentioning the incompetence of the Order, and how they're just a bunch of babysitters who don't do anything throughout many posts, but never actually wrote a rant about them and their members. Can you do that, while stating all the things they did/didn't do and their uselessness to the Order? What can I say I love your rants!
Caveat that it has been a while since Iâve read books 5, 6, and 7 of Harry Potter. I have a fantastic memory but some things may slip my mind. If I grievously offend anyone and it turns out the Order does actually do something, anything, of any vague importance then feel free to let me know and shame me on the internet.
With that, the story of why I think the Order of the Phoenix is a ridiculous organization that was mostly there because Dumbledore felt the need to have a guerilla resistance group (youâve got to have a guerilla resistance group! Or, if Tom has a secret cult, I must have one too! BUT WITH BIRDS! COO COO KACHOO TOM RIDDLE!)
First, letâs look at our lineup.
Yes, we have a few aurors in the midst, but even with them the lineup is... worrying. In the first war we knew that key figures had presumably just graduated Hogwarts and joined the Order (James and Sirius). For all we know, they were recruited even before graduation. This makes sense as Jamesâ is a big financial win for Dumbledore and was probably, perhaps with Longbottom, in charge of funding most of their operations. That and he and Longbottom give Dumbledore a voice in the Wizengamot (which so far as I can surmise is the only real governing body in the country, the ministry exists, but it all boils down to the Wizengamot).Â
The point being, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily are all barely squeaking out of Hogwarts not only when they join the Order but also even by the time they die. More, it could be because the books are from Harryâs point of view and he has a serious thing about worshipping James, but James in particular is made to sound very vital to the Orderâs operations. A twenty-one-year-old who charged Voldemort without a wand (I really shouldnât give James shit for this, it was a desperate situation, an attack they had not anticipated, heâs young, and panicking. I will still give James shit for this.)
Otherwise we have Mundungus Fletcher, who gives strong vibes of being an alcoholic and is just a generally unreliable, shady, dude who will steal your silverware and pawn it on the black market when you arenât looking.
We have Molly and Arthur Weasley, whose only use I can possibly think of is being moral support and... I donât know... providing safe houses maybe? Seriously, we have no indication theyâre good at dueling (less so as Harryâs shocked when Molly takes on Bellatrix and miraculously wins). We know Arthurâs not a very intelligent guy. Arthur and Molly have no sense of... Well, suffice to say, if Dumbledore gave them any real information theyâd run away screaming. They throw Percy out of the family for becoming Fudgeâs secretary, Iâm sure Dumbledore was just internally screaming and begging them not to do it so he can make Percy a spy. But he can never say as much as such a notion would horrify Molly and Arthur. Molly and Arthur are also presented as vital members of the Order by the way. Molly and Arthur. ARTHUR.
We have what remains of the Marauders in the second go around: Remus and Sirius. Remus, while a competent wizard, nobody can quite trust for the reason they couldnât quite trust him last time: heâs still a werewolf and has no reason to support the current government. Sirius is recovering from ten years in hell and is in no condition to do anything, knows it, loathes it, and is clawing at the walls of the safehouse he was pretty much forced to provide the Order.
We then have the aurors. Kingsly seems competent enough but more than him we have Moody and we have Tonks. Tonks is young and seems very very green, she was a good enough duelist to get into the auror corps but we know sheâs dreadfully clumsy and often seems to treat Order business as this very exciting super secret mission sheâs on. Moody, is a paranoid wreck who is almost comical for his utterly ridiculous skepticism of everything and seems incapable of making any true plans or taking any real action.
Looking at the Order of the Phoenix is kind of like watching âDodgeballâ, you just have this really weird collection of people who try to dodge wrenches, only the Death Eaters arenât much better, so it kind of evens out.Â
But onto why I think they do nothing... Itâs because we see them do nothing.
We donât get much information on the first war but at best it seems like there were a few minor skirmishes in the street now and then. I always imagine something like the Sharks and the Jets in Westside Story. Theyâre walking along the streets, spot each other, dramatic music ensues and a rumble begins, then they scamper away when the aurors come in.
Remember that these guys arenât a legitimate organization and really donât have the structure of one. Back in the day they were probably, essentially, a street gang.
We get a little more evidence of what we see them get up to in the later books. And itâs all just kind of sad.
Remus is sent on the worldâs most ridiculous and hopeless quest to recruit werewolves. Why do I say ridiculous and hopeless, what the hell does Remus have to offer these guys? Werewolves are ridiculously oppressed by the current government, they cannot obtain an education, they cannot hold jobs, theyâre desperately unemployed and people routinely talk about wiping them out. Remus comes up to them and says, âHey guys, come support the guerilla movement that supports the government that talks about killing you all the time! Itâll be great!â Theyâll either put Remusâ head on a pike or if theyâre nice just laugh at him until he leaves. Iâd say itâd be worth it, except that itâs an exceedingly dangerous task that probably would end with Remusâ head on a pike. As it is, it ends in embarrassing failure. And this is one of the more legitimate Order missions.
Hagrid, similarly, is sent to talk to the giants and it ends in equally embarrassing failure for the same reasons (why would the giants ever support the ministry and or Dumbledore who promises them nothing). Also, sending Hagrid to talk diplomacy, with anyone, ever. Surely, thereâs no way that could possibly go wrong.
Otherwise their big task seems to be to babysit Harry and transfer him from the Dursleys to the Burrow/Grimmuald Place. The first, they fail at, Mundungus gets put on the job the one day something actually happens and itâs a complete disaster. The second, they also fail at, as I never understood why they couldnât just portkey him where they needed him to go or at least closer by. The polyjuice flight across the sky was... really unecessary.Â
You can tell by the seriousness with which most Order members, i.e. Tonks, take the babysitting Harry duty that this is a very serious task for very serious people. Given this, Tomâs lack of overt action in the fifth and sixth books, the fact that we donât seem to see them do anything even in the seventh book... Yeah, this and keeping an eye out for that prophecy are their most exciting jobs.
Remember that rescuing Harry from the Department of Mysteries wasnât really Dumbledoreâs idea. That was an emergency situation where he had to pull out the stops, more, I suspect Sirius went âCHAAAAAARGEâ and gleefully rushed out into glorious battle with the Order directly behind him and Dumbledore going, âWell, shit.â
I guess the last thing Iâll say is that we also see that Dumbledore has very little confidence in the Order. He gives them nothing important to do and, more, gives them virtually no intelligence.
He never tells the Order about the horcruxes (their existence or Harry, Hermione, and Ronâs super serial mission to track them down and destroy them). He never relays to them that Harry himself is a horcrux. He never reveals the suicide ploy with Snape or that he was in fact dying before that point. He never reveals Malfoyâs assassination attempts. Dumbledore doesnât tell them jack shit.
If he relies on anyone, usually when heâs forced to, itâs Severus Snape. This I think is not only because Snape is forced in a way to be loyal thanks to the life debt to Harry as well as his own overwhelming sense of guilt but also because heâs the only really intelligent and competent one there.
The Orderâs just... if you need someone to pick up Harry or else keep an eye on him when Mrs. Figg is busy: theyâre your guys. Otherwise, they make Dumbledore feel good about himself?
