Mat(urity)
“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” - Song Title: “Trench Town Rock” (Track Video Included below)
I can hear the voices of Bob Marley and the Wailers singing in harmony, these words that ring true to my ears. But, I’d like to substitute one word and replace with another. I mean, at this point, it should be obvious, right? One good thing about maturity....and so on.
I’m entering into my late 20s, I’ll be 28 in October. One thing I found apparent, especially acknowledging this for the first time, at the age of 25 - although this may have occurred throughout my life, but, it’s only then at 25 I was conscious and fully aware of it, is what I believe to be maturity. But, what does this word actually mean? Its actual definition even matter? Is it subjective and unique to each person? Maybe, I guess. I don’t know. I remember growing up, as a teen, I used to dread at the idea of maturing, because, I was intimidated by change. I never wanted to change who I was. And I was, a First Generation teen of Haitian descent growing up in Brooklyn, NY. I loved playing video games - sports games like Madden NFL, FIFA, NBA Live (back when it was the basketball game to own), action-adventure games, RPGs, etc. I was a gamer. Loved chillin with my high school friends (who also were First Generation too) playing at Marine Park where we played basketball 2-on-2, 3-on-3. etc on half court after school and on the way home. I was also the class clown. I enjoyed entertaining my class mates and sometimes, my teachers, with jokes before it got too far lol, and then having to visit the Dean, as a result - tried to charm my outta there. That was my world at Bishop Ford. Oh yeah, I had decent grades too. At home; I think I’ll return to that later. At Ford, my world just felt right, like everything fitted well, tailored to what seemed to be necessary at the time, I was complacent. But when college came around my complacency was challenged, my high school friends and I went our own separate ways, just cause y’know, and it was on a good note. It almost seamless, I didn’t notice the separation and departure, I think I was negligent to it, until college. It was during my those four years, that I began to discover myself, especially as an actor and an artist. I was still the same jokester, making someone, or several people laugh, I like good vibes and to entertain, what I can say? But I guess, this is when maturity began to be more relevant. I was alone with myself, y’know? Things started changing and the young man I was becoming began to flourish. I became more responsible and serious about class assignments. I was hard working, both as a student and performer. More focused in rehearsals in the Theater productions I was cast in. And open to meeting newer folks from elsewhere outside of Brooklyn. College, like high school, was a phase, where I learned about myself in connection to modern society. For example, when I was in high school at Bishop Ford Central Catholic HS, back in 2004-2008, Brooklyn was different compared to now in 2018; wow, it’s already been a decade. And society was in a transitional shift, mainly because of social media. Sconex, MySpace, AIM, were the Facebooks, Instagrams, and Twitters, of the time. And personally, I recall talking on the phone with friends and girls I liked, having a direct and almost visceral experience, getting deep to the person, and them to you. And for college, at Five Towns College, in Long Island, the world was changing. In Nov. 2008 Barack Obama was elected and became the 44th President of the United States; this was monumental. And I remember the feeling of being blown away from the excitement of my peers, the hope Americans had and felt for Change, and the negative responses President Obama received.
But overall the world was changing. And, its influence affected my development to maturing from that class clown teen to the hard working young man. And now from that young man and into an adult (My Queen and I will be 4 years this November, be more active and optimistic about my Acting Career, and saving and planning for the future), today in 2018, the world is; interesting. At home though, the responsibility I enveloped during my college years, I applied them here. I contribute at home, helping My Mom, who’s been a single parent since I was about 10-12 years old. And for all that She’s sacrificed for my siblings and I, its my way to begin to say thank you and convey my appreciation to Her. My attitude has also matured. I used to be so uptight and sensitive about things. Whenever I was angry, it some times escalated to tears. But now, and just thinking about My Dad and his wise words, I’ve been learning to let things go, simply I take a breather, and allow myself to choose not to take carry or absorb the tension any longer - it can challenging but maintaining the Discipline helps beyond words. Life, as people used to say is “too short”, well I don’t believe that - actually it could be true if one tends to withhold toxic and negative energy inside themselves, life will end for that person. But I value Life very much, and this positive and mature attitude, I have faith, in will assist me in the long run. And, by the power of the LORD, I hope to run for a LONG Time, [in Jesus name]; to continue to see and witness the change in this world, and most likely to share what I’ve learned along the way. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
Change is definitely imminent, and maturity is also change. I still am me, or in other words, “I am that I am”. And, change is growth, forever evolving. And I’m embracing it, far removed from being intimidated by it. As I approach, the age of 28, I look forward to becoming my better self, with wisdom and understanding along side with me [Amen lol]. So I’ll conclude with Prov. 19:8 - “He who gets wisdom loves his own soul: he who keeps understanding will find good.” One good thing about “maturity”, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Peace to you, and Much Love,
Cassleojr
