Starlight Boys, Episode 2: Okay, I get it now.
Welcome back! I’ve been told this is the episode that broke the viewers and had them rage-posting in an online frenzy. So far, all I’ve seen in the first episode are some exciting performances, and even the bad performances were kind of fun. I’m sure everything will be fine. Welcome to Episode Two!
We pick up where we left off, with our Youth With You trio all getting the All Star, but there are only two All Star seats left. Going forward, the new All-Stars will have to battle the seated All-Stars for their seats. Basically, they pick someone to challenge, and then we see where they rank in the voting that the other trainees have already done with their little voting devices. The loser will not only have to sit in the Two Star Zone, he’ll actually lose his All Star status and become a Two Star.
All the trainees think this is cruel, but again, I’ve seen worse on both seasons of Boys Planet. It is significant that they actually losing their All Star status, but that’s not enough to make this the cruelest show ever.
New All-Star Yoo Gwan Woo from our Youth With You trio makes his way over to the seats and challenges Korean Han Jeong Woo from the Triple Casting Team. One thing I forgot to mention in the Episode 1 recap is that the Chinese trainees are a bit miffed that out of the nine top seats, four of them are Korean, one is Thai, and until the Youth With You team got All Stars, only two were Chinese. Now we have five Chinese All-Stars, and they are determined to unseat the Koreans.
The coaches check the rankings, and Chinese Yoo Gwan Woo unseats Korean Han Jeong Woo.
Now it’s time for blonde anime angel Sun Ying Hao to challenge someone for his All Star Seat. I’m confused here, because there’s clearly still one empty seat among the Top Nine. Why can’t Sun Ying Hao just take that seat? Is it because he came in as part of a team, so they both have to challenge?
Whatever the reason, Sun Ying Hao walks up to the top seat and challenges Min Jae from BAE173.
He’s successful. Min Jae is now a Two Star who probably wishes his group had taken the coaches’ advice and not done another talent show. He’s now the second Korean to be knocked out of the top nine seats by a Chinese trainee. And I still don’t understand why the second challenge had to happen. I mean, am I crazy? There is still an empty seat right in the middle, right?
Now that this is settled, it’s time to continue the Level Test. Our next team is called the “Avengers,” which is usually a name teams have to earn on these shows. This team of five strolls in confidently and introduces themselves. We have Ivan from Malaysia, Michael Wu from Canada, Zai from Taiwan, and two Chinese trainees named Huang Jia Liang and Chen Xuan You. Together, they have a combined 51 years of dance experience. They’re performing “Hard Carry” by GOT7.
Oh my God are they good. They move like one machine with five parts, they imitate machine gun fire with their bodies, they take up every inch of that stage. The coaches, especially the choreographers, jump to their feet and cheer. They get praise for everything – the dancing, expression, and the high notes Huang Jia Liang can hit.
Michael Wu, Zai, and Huang Jia Liang get the All Star. They don’t tell us the scores for the other two. This show likes to gaslight us. They want us to forget some trainees exist, and they want us not to notice that there’s still an empty seat in the Top Nine. All three of our new All Stars will have to issue challenges for their seats.
I’ll shortcut this. Michael Wu challenges Han Gyul of BAE173 and wins. Huang Jia Liang challenges Duan Xing Xing of the Youth With You group and loses, knocking himself down to Two Star. Zai challenges MIRAE’s Lee Jun Hyuk, the last Korean trainee sitting in a Top Nine seat. Zai wins. Zai is now on my bad side. You do not come after one of my favorites like that. It is now my personal mission to see Zai eliminated.
Time for the next Level Test. In walks a trainee who looks like he was AI-generated.
Meet Xin Che from China. He’s 18 years old and speaks in a mix of Korean and English. The coaches ask him flat out if he’s had plastic surgery, and he admits to having his nose done. (He’s clearly also had double eyelid surgery.) He also admits to only being a trainee for one month. He’s performing “Hug” by TVXQ.
His dancing looks like he’s trying to follow along in an aerobics class, but he has a nice voice. He clearly needs a LOT more training. But last episode, the coaches gave Kim Seong Ju, a model with zero trainee experience, one star because of his looks and charm, so I’m paying close attention here. The coaches have an intense debate while the host asks Xin Che how he feels right now. He says he knows his performance was bad, and he wants to disappear. I feel terrible for him. I’m willing to bet his label, UN24, pushed him out onto this show in hopes that his looks would count for something.
The coaches finally agree to give him One Star, which is consistent with their earlier decision. They warn him he’s going to have to work very hard. I’m worried this show is going to chew him up and spit him out.
Time for our next performance. This group calls themselves the Fantasy Boys. That’s also the name of the survival show they all won to be in this group. We have Hong Sung Min from Korea, Hikari from Japan, and Ling Qi from China.
When asked why they’re back on a survival show so soon, we learn that the group had to postpone their activities just ten days after they debuted. Another member immediately left the group, and then their agency fell apart. So many of these entertainment companies feel like they’re held together by Scotch Tape and spit, and once they have to actually start managing a debuting group, they go bankrupt.
Our Fantasy Boys perform “Jikjin” by Treasure. Fantasy Boys must have been an amazing group. This is an experienced idol performance, from the expressions to the perfectly synced dancing to the strong and steady vocals. The coaches and the other trainees love them. The trainees in the Top Nine seats know they’re doomed. (Except they’re really not – can NO ONE see that empty seat right there in the middle?)
The coaches call Hong Sung Min the perfect all-rounder. Ling Qi and Hikari get the Two Star, and Hong Sung Min gets the All Star. Okay. So just one All Star. So that means he can just go sit in that empty seat, right? RIGHT?
Nope! He has to challenge somebody. Deciding to go big or go home, he challenges blonde anime angel Sun Ying Hao in the top seat.
The challenge is a failure, and Hong Sung Min knocks himself down to Two Star. I’m starting to think Blondie is unbeatable.
Our next trainee is Phoom from Thailand. He’s wearing a cutout shirt that’s very bold for conservative Korea. Here in the US, I think I’ve actually seen kids wearing a shirt like this in public high schools. But the trainees are reacting like Phoom just strolled out in his boxer shorts.
His shoulders are exposed! Won’t someone PLEASE think of the children?!
Phoom is the first of a montage of trainees we see only in short clips, most winning only One Star. We race through the next 22 candidates, with the last group winning Two Stars each. The eight trainees in the Top Nine seats sit comfortably and unchallenged in their Top NINE seats. Still NINE. I want to go on record that I still see an empty seat.
Now, finally, we are meeting the last trainee. Maybe he’ll get that EMPTY SEAT THAT NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO NOTICE. Okay, I’ll stop, it’s just making me nuts.
Our last trainee is Yang Dong Hwa from Korea. He has a quiet, cool vibe and is a stunning visual.
He’s also a composer. One of his songs, “Time Difference,” was recorded by the boy group INFINITE. He also writes choreography. He knows there are no Koreans left in the Top Nine seats and wants to fix that. He says he wants to protect the pride of K-pop.
He performs “Mmmh” by Kai. He’s a sensual dancer with a smooth R&B voice, and I’m calling it – he’s going to be one of the winners. I think the coaches are in love. They unanimously give him the All Star. I wait for him to take the empty seat, but no, he has to challenge someone. He goes straight to the top seat and challenges Blondie (Sun Ying Hao).
His challenge is successful. Blondie gets knocked down to Two Star. And with that, the Level Test is over. We see the eight All Stars in their seats. And FINALLY, our host acknowledges there is one All Star seat left. She calls it the Polaris. All the trainees take out their voting devices and cast votes for their favorite. It’s the Center position, and anyone can be voted into that seat, even a Zero Star.
But it is an All Star who gets voted into the Polaris. It’s our Chinese stunner trainee, the sweet and shy Shao Zi Heng. That’s great, and I’m happy for him, but WE STILL HAVE AN EMPTY – you know what? Never mind. Just … whatever.
Time for the announcement of the Signal Song. It’s called “Good Luck.” The choreography was written by our own Dance Coach Choi Youngjun, and demonstrating it in the performance video will be none other than Eric from The Boyz! I love The Boyz! Okay, Starlight Boys, I’ll forgive you for the gaslighting. For now.
But not all the trainees can stand on the Signal Song stage. We have to eliminate thirteen contestants first. We cut to the next day at the training center the show is calling Starlight Academy. And right when they enter the dorms, the boys are confronted with a big poster showing them all the rankings, as voted by the trainees themselves. We already know Shao Zi Heng is in the top spot. But now they get to see what all the other trainees think of them. All Star dancer Wang Kun takes a blow to his ego when he sees himself in the 51st spot.
Everyone goes to their assigned rooms to unpack. Han Jeong Woo finds himself roommates with Yoo Gwan Woo, the All Star who knocked him out of his All Star seat and into the Two Star section. Language barriers are a problem for other trainees – one room has roommates from China, Korea, and Japan.
Once they’re settled in, everyone meets in their designated practice rooms to learn the Signal Song. Each ranking has its own color uniform and practice room. The All Stars learn the song and choreo quickly, but the other ranks are having problems. Especially the Zero and One Stars, several of whom have never learned choreography before. One Star Xin Che, our AI-looking boy who’s only been a trainee for a month, is completely lost.
Now it’s time for their Interim Check in front of the coaches, and Eric from The Boyz is right there in the room! He’s joined by Korean singer and actress Kwon Eun-bi, someone Tumblr users will remember well from her 2025 Waterbomb Festival performance.
The One Stars are the first to be evaluated. Before they start, we learn that those who do well will be given GOOD stickers to wear on their nametags, and those who do poorly will get BAD stickers. Yes, it’s cruel, but we also saw the WIN and LOSE stickers on B2P, so it’s still not the cruelest show.
The trainees perform for the coaches in groups of three and four, and when it’s Xin Che’s turn, I’m nervous for him. He’s trying so hard, but he’s way in over his head. He even forgets to sing. His group does so badly, the coaches scold the other trainees for politely clapping for them. He gets scolded by every coach. One of them even says, “I don’t think you’re suitable for this industry.” Tears stream down Xin Che’s face. When we see him in the confessional, he’s wearing a BAD sticker.
Now it’s the Zero Stars turn in front of the coaches. Sun Jiayang from B2P (and currently in VAYONN) is in this group. We get a flashback to practice. With no experience learning choreo, many of the Zero Stars gave up during practice and left the room. Not our Sun Jiayang. He watched the video over and over, mimicking the moves. At one point, he’s the only one left in the practice room.
At the Interim Check, he amazes the coaches. They say if he can improve this quickly, success is really possible for him. Eric says his performance was even better than the ones he saw from the One Stars. Now Sun Jiayang is also fighting back tears, but for a different reason.
Now for the Two Stars. There are a few All Stars in this group who wound up here because they lost their Top Nine seats to challengers. One of these trainees is Min Jae of BAE173, who gets singled out for praise by Eric for his hard work. Fantasy Boy Hong Sung Min also gets praised for singing loud and steady while dancing. They get GOOD stickers, and so does Blondie.
Now for our eight All Stars. Right away, top dancer Wang Kun gets flustered, forgets the steps, and has to be told to keep going. In fact, all the All Stars aren’t doing very well. They’re forgetting lyrics, singing off-key, and giving up halfway through. Several get BAD stickers and a scolding by the coaches.
When it’s Yoo Gwan Woo’s turn, the coaches have very low expectations. Our Youth With You trainee stands before them and absolutely kills it. He’s the only one to get a GOOD sticker.
The last one to be evaluated is the Polaris, Shao Zi Heng. He starts strong, but the pressure gets to him, and he forgets everything. He’s at risk of losing his Center position.
All the team go back to practice with new motivation. We count down to Signal Song Mission D-Day. The trainees gather in an incredibly huge studio to find out which thirteen will be going home.
Our host tells the boys that one trainee has quit for personal reasons. That would be Zero Star trainee Zhao Jia Yin, who we never got to meet because he was one of those 22 Level Tests that raced by in a montage. This won’t be the only time he does this. I look him up, and after this show, he’ll go on to compete on Steal Heart Club but leave after the sixth episode due to injuries. Because of this departure, only twelve contestants will be eliminated today.
Now all the candidates get in place on these huge three-level platforms. I just thought it was a flat wall. The second and third level candidates are up really high, and I don’t see any guard rails. This doesn’t look safe.
The Signal Song will play, and the trainees will perform it while the coaches judge them and decide who gets to stay. The ones on the top level are worried that the coaches can’t even see them. I’m more worried about someone falling, but let’s see how this goes.
The host says the Signal Song will keep playing until 56 trainees pass. Wait, so they’re going to have to perform the Signal Song over and over again? How quickly can these coaches choose 56 trainees?
“Until the final qualified trainee is decided,” the host says cheerfully, “the Signal Song will be replayed infinitely.”
I’m seriously getting anxiety symptoms. Those trainees, especially the ones on the top two rows, look like they’re getting them too. “Dance until you die,” one of them mutters.
The song starts. Everyone starts throwing all their energy into the performance, trying to catch the eyes of the coaches. They’re giving huge smiles. Some are lifting their shirts to show their abs. I desperately want them to conserve their energy, but they can’t. They have to give the best possible performances right now.
The song ends, and all of them are breathing hard. Then a huge stopwatch above them starts counting down thirty seconds until the song starts again.
No one’s been chosen yet, so everyone throws themselves back into the dance. The coaches continue to concentrate on them, and I’m yelling at my computer screen for them to START PICKING PEOPLE ALREADY.
The second round ends. The thirty second countdown begins again. “I think we should look closer,” the coaches say. They get up to move closer while the third round begins.
We get another camera view of the contestants on the upper floors. Not only are there no guard rails, but there are camera drones flying around everywhere, which can get disorienting. When the third round ends, the trainees are gasping for breath. The coaches finally pick All Star Yoo Gwan Woo of the Youth With You team. He gratefully sits in one of the PASS seats. Then the thirty-second countdown begins again. Are they only going to pick one trainee per round?
Round Four begins while the coaches stroll around. The contestants are dancing hard under hot studio lights, dressed in sweatpants and long-sleeved sweatshirts. When this round ends, the coaches choose Polaris Shao Zi Heng and Fantasy Boy Hong Sung Min. Then the countdown clock begins again. Round Five.
The coaches pick two more trainees. I don’t pay attention to who they are because the countdown clock is starting again, and the trainees are starting to look scared.
At the end of this round, four more trainees are picked. The countdown clock starts again, and the trainees tell us they don’t know how many more times they can do this. They’re in a hell loop. This is an actual hell loop. One of them tries to rationalize that this is just like practice, but no it’s not.
Round Seven. Three more trainees are called down. The countdown starts. “Please,” gasps one of the still-unchosen candidates.
Round Eight. Five trainees are chosen. There are still so many on the stage. The countdown starts again. Round Nine. Three trainees are chosen. The countdown starts again. Round Ten. When the song ends, the trainees sink to the ground and try to catch their breath. Han Gyul is on his hands and knees, gasping to himself, “I can do it.”
The criticisms I’m hearing during the coaches’ discussions are making me want to punch a wall. “He’s dancing too powerfully.” (He’s trying to get your attention, jackass.) “His performance isn’t refreshing.” (He’s gasping and sweating to death.) “He’s just not eye-catching.” (He’s trying not to fall off the edge and die.)
Zai is the only All Star still up there who hasn’t been called, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong. The coaches tell each other he’s not lip-syncing to the song. Then TELL HIM. Jesus Christ. Finally, they give up and just call him, but now he’s dropped down to Two Star.
We still have 43 trainees on the stage. The countdown starts again. Round Eleven. They’re starting to make mistakes. No one is chosen. The countdown starts again. Round Twelve. Their smiles look like grimaces of pain. The song ends, they hit the floor. No one is chosen. The countdown starts again. Round Thirteen. The survivors are starting to look worried.
Round Thirteen ends. NO ONE IS CHOSEN. The countdown starts again. The trainees on the stage are drenched in sweat. Round Fourteen begins.
The survivors watching this aren’t cheering anymore. They look scared. For those who say, “Well, this is what doing a concert is like,” no it isn’t. Concerts are fun. Performers are feeding off the audience’s energy. The set list is timed to make sure everyone gets breaks. They’re not desperately trying to survive a reality show – they’ve already won. If the remaining trainees on this show don’t keep dancing, their dream dies.
Round Fourteen ends. The coaches show no concern for the trainees who collapse to the floor. One of them is given oxygen by a producer. Some of them start crying. The coaches complain to each other that one of the trainees is showing zero charm. I can’t believe this.
Several names are called for One Star. There are six One Star seats left. The countdown starts again. Round Fifteen begins. No one is chosen. The countdown starts again. Zero Star Hou Jia En bursts into tears. One of the dance coaches tells him to stop crying.
Round Sixteen starts. Hou Jia En does the choreography while crying. On the other side of the stage, some of the survivors are also starting to cry. The round ends. No one is chosen. The countdown starts again. Round Seventeen starts. Hou Jia En is now having a full-on meltdown.
Round Seventeen starts. Some of the surviving trainees can’t even watch. The round ends. No one is chosen. The countdown begins again. I feel pain in my leg and realize I’ve been digging my nails into it.
There’s a bottle of medication my doctor gave me a while back for anxiety attacks. I haven’t had to take it in a couple of weeks, and the bottle is still on my nightstand. I seriously think about taking one to get through this. This is worse than Wild Idol. It’s worse than Hot Blood. This is sadistic. Someone is going to wind up in the hospital.
The survivors are starting to get really scared. “I can’t stand it,” one of them mutters to the ones sitting around him.
Round Eighteen starts. Some survivors are sobbing. The round ends. The trainees collapse. No one is chosen. The countdown starts again. Hou Jia En is not okay.
I give in and take my meds. I’m not the only one who has reached a breaking point. One of the surviving trainees yells, “No, stop, stop!” It’s my Blondie, Sun Ying Hao. He keeps yelling “stop” in both Mandarin and English, anything to get someone to understand him. He gets louder and louder, and other survivors join him. The coaches turn around, and the look of annoyance on their faces makes me want to kill every single one of them.
“I want to talk something,” Sun Ying Hao stammers in broken English. Someone gives him a microphone. In Mandarin, he says, “I know the crew wants us to show our determination and perseverance. They want to see our persistence. But we are human, not machines.”
He gets overwhelmed by tears and turns away.
One of the coaches, Lee Seung Gi, tells him to come down to the judges’ table and have a seat. He waits until the trainee is seated and then faces all the survivors.
“Everyone, didn’t you come here to become K-pop idols?” he says. “Not to become K-pop artists, but to be an idol to perform in front of fans, right?”
Some survivors shout yes. The others stay quiet.
Lee Seung Gi keeps talking. “During the concert, idols need to perform up to thirty songs in front of the fans. It’s like taking away the audience’s right to enjoy the performance. If this is too much for you …" he trails off and then starts again. “I understand why Sun Ying Hao said that. But we’re gathered here to select global idol singers instead of skilled artists.”
I’m sorry, what? What the hell is he talking about?
He keeps going. “We have to keep watching because there are trainees who want to perform tirelessly and put in great effort. But if you interrupt them, you’ll break their momentum.”
Breaking their momentum? This is the most they’ve been able to rest and breathe since this whole thing started. There are a million things wrong with everything Lee Seung Gi is saying, but I’m too angry and exhausted to get into it right now. Plus the meds kick in pretty quickly, and I’m going to fall asleep soon, so let’s just get this episode over with.
All the trainees, including Sun Ying Hao, agree with the coach. Ivan raises his hand and thanks Blondie for sticking up for them. He then says to the coaches that to be a K-pop idol, “I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY!” Sun Ying Hao apologizes for his impulsiveness.
Everyone cheers, and this is supposed to be inspirational. It’s not. It’s another word I can’t think of right now because these pills are making me kind of trippy.
Round Eighteen. Six trainees are chosen. There are 27 trainees left onstage. Round Nineteen. I watch a bunch of Stockholm-syndromed trainees dancing and cheering. The round ends. The rest of the survivors are chosen. It’s finally over.
Hou Jia En is one of the eliminated candidates, and I think that’s a good thing. I look him up and see that he hasn’t done anything since this show except post on his Weibo account.
The surviving trainees rush to hug the eliminated. Tomorrow, I’ll go through my notes and figure out all the ones we lost this round who get to go home to their families and friends and maybe a therapist who specializes in PTSD.
I’m going to bed. See you in Episode Three.
