series of 10 4-panel comics crossing over kamen rider den-o and yakuza.
comic #1: ryoutarou goes to kamurocho
ryoutarou walks past the red kamurocho gate and asks, "what made you want to visit kamurocho, urataros?" "wahh!! so shiny!" ryuutaros cheers.
ura-ryoutarou smirks, peering through his glasses at a pretty hostess. "a fish that's outgrown its pond must leap to new waters. and there's no bigger sea than--" "i knew it." everyone groans.
urataros strolls into the club, hostess on his arm. the manager greets, "welcome. our cover charge is... 11,550 yen." urataros's glasses crack. he only has 523 yen.
back in the dining car, kintaros, momotaros, and ryuutaros beat urataros senseless.
---
comic #2: this one's a real classic
ryoutarou makes his way down a crowded street. "i know urataros-tachi want to have fun, but we should be a bit more careful...."
he bumps shoulders with a passerby.
suddenly, the passerby is on the ground, wincing in pain. his friend shouts, "damn brat!! you better pay up for my bro's hospital bills!"
the pair then stare at ryoutarou, who is collapsed against a shattered wall, sitting in a pool of his own blood.
---
comic #3: can't be cool if there's nothing to look away from
a bloody momo-ryoutarou leaps at the scammers, fist wound back.
opponents discarded in a heap behind him, momotaros grins and flicks dust off his shoulder.
a beat. ".......why aren't they exploding?"
"they're not imagin, stupid momotaros." ryuutaros says. momotaros whips around with an "ah!!!" as the hospital bill total gets so long it runs offscreen.
---
comic #4: it's for you and it's free
the clown bob utsunomiya says "you seem tough. did you come for the coliseum?" "the what now?" momotaros frowns.
"it's where fighters from all over the world battle to their hearts' content, get stronger, and win cash prizes." all the imagin and naomi stare up in amazement. "we're sold!"
"sometimes it is a fight to the death though. just thought id--" bob gets cut off as kin-ryoutarou lifts him into the air and shouts, "where can i find such a place?!" "let's go!! let's go!!" ryuutaros joins in. ryoutarou fails to interrupt. "wait, did he--"
bob points at a small building. the park toilets........
---
comic #5: hey this is just like the jail cell fight from yakuza 0
two figures face off in a caged arena, surrounded by a roaring crowd.
the loudspeaker rings out, "american fugitive daniel feldman! versus newcomer ryoutarou nogami from japan!" daniel the beefy wrestler glowers at ryoutarou, who stands frozen in fear.
"no weapons! no mercy! hold on to your hats, folks! this can only end in a gruesome beatdown!!!" the vampiric announcer strahd pumps his fist.
ryuu-ryoutarou cheerfully levels a pistol at daniel's head.
---
comic #6: i knew it smelled 2005 in here
"round 1 goes to ryoutarou!!" the announcer blares, as ryuu-ryoutarou jumps in the air making peace signs.
"he clears round 2, and still hasn't taken a single hit!!" kin-ryoutarou smirks, cracking his neck.
"but will his luck hold up against the reigning champion of the coliseum?! the mysterious hannya-man!" a figure approaches, wearing a demon mask and tuxedo.
momotaros stares at the mask's horns. "is he mocking me...?" "nobody can see you, momotaros..." ryoutarou assures.
---
comic #7: breaker form
kintaros blocks a swing from hannya-man's baseball bat. "he's strong!!" "what the hell?!" momotaros cries.
"as expected of the biggest fish in-- oops!" urataros narrowly dodges a knife.
with a flashy handstand, hannya-man kicks ryuutaros, whose eyes light up with joy.
hannya-man and ryuutaros breakdance together, battle forgotten. "guys... hey guys..." the announcer prods. "i'm glad they're having fun." says ryoutarou.
---
comic #8: a cockroach's catchphrase
hannya-man launches momo-ryoutarou with a kick.
"GRAAAAHH!!!" momotaros crashes back into a burst of lightning. urataros gasps. "an electric fence?!" "if only deneb were here... he's immune to electricity." ryoutarou muses.
"we could push him as many times as we want!" ryuutaros says, imagining shoving deneb into an electric fence. deneb says "oops! i'm alright!" urataros sighs. "and what would that accomplish...?" meanwhile, momo-ryoutarou frowns, burnt and smoking.
"i'd push yuuto in, too." ryuutaros concludes. "ryuutaros... being cruel to others is no good..." ryoutarou chides, as an imaginary fence-shocked yuuto screams "OWWWWWW"
---
comic #9: it did unspeakable things to his mind and body
"why don't any of us have a useful skill like that?!" momotaros grumbles. back in the dining car, urataros taps the side of his head. "speak for yourself, senpai. i can breathe underwater."
"maybe if you trained more, you could too." kintaros says. momotaros gawks. "are you trying to kill me, you stupid bear??" an imaginary momotaros sits cross-legged on the ocean floor surrounded by sea life.
ryuutaros lays across a dining table, kicking his feet. "you're a peach. maybe you'd protect him from food poisoning." "don't underestimate ryoutarou!" kintaros boasts. "the man's always had an iron stomach." "actually, i can't take credit for that." ryoutarou chimes in. "hm?"
"it's all thanks to nee-san..." ryoutarou pictures a beaming airi handing him a glass of garlic juice. "i see..." everyone says.
---
comic #10: i'm, coming!!!
"we need to end this! ryoutarou's body is at its limit!" urataros shouts. "i know that, damn it!" momo-ryoutarou raises the rider pass. "momotaros, wa--" ryoutarou doesn't get to finish.
"HENSHIN!" momotaros transforms into den-o sword form, arms raised in his signature pose.
den-o and hannya-man stare at each other across the arena. nobody moves.
the announcer drops his mic and the audience's eyes pop out of their sockets. "IS THAT FUCKING KAMEN RIDER?"
I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.
Mafia boss smoking a cigar: Why’d you gotta squeal, Squealin’ Stephen? I trusted you. Now I gotta send my best goons to show you what happens when you cross the Big Boss…
Guy tied up in chair: uh…theres just one guy over there.
Mafia boss: Yeah. That’s Lil’ Tony. He’s got one of dem conditions where he’s got multiple mooks n’ his head. But when Big Tony fronts you’re gonna be in big trouble.
Lil’ Tony: We actually all agree we’re gonna kick your ass.
One of my favorite things about biology is that there are so many diagrams like this that look like shitposts if you remove any and all context from them
Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.
my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"
"grace. grace! grace give attention. rocky perform human ritual of escape closet now. statement."
"come again?"
"i learn more from thinking machine. human gender preference. attraction to same gender, means word 'gay.' all eridian same gender." rocky stands straight up. "rocky come out to grace now. all rocky plural gay, statement."
"...wow, that's... rock, i'm not sure it makes much sense to apply human ideas of sexual orientation to a monogendered species."
a long and judgmental pause. then:
"grace HOMOPHOBIC, question????"
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