Simp It Up

[catextrordinare]

Ember-Sensei!

Time travel/Sensei!Obito AU

Future!Obito who's already fixed things or at least set things in motion who's just really sad and depressed because he doesn't think he deserves to be happy even though he's made things better and everyone's alive and happy.

Just.

Stumbling across Team 7 in the wake of their Sensei(some rando)'s death, far from home, scared out of their minds and so, so, different.

And he doesn't want to get involved, doesn't want to care about or for these three tiny brats who aren't his, never were, but-

Their so small. Their not the war-torn shinobi who fought a goddess. Not amazing shinobi in their own right, not yet. Nothing but three genin who haven't gotten the chance to figure themselves out yet. So even though they aren't his, won't ever be, he can try, try to keep them safe, alive, get them home, even as it tears him at the seems and it takes everything he has just to not break-

Its the least he can do, for this Team 7, for this version who have an entire life in front of them, who have turned out so different yet fundamentally the same.

The rest of Team Minato+Kushina are alive but they don't know Obito is.

[dc-posting]

My personal headcanon is that nobody reacts as badly to jokes about Jason’s death as Bruce does. He can usually brush past it, with a flash of guilt across his face and clenched fists. An abrupt exit or cold glare if you catch him on an especially bad day.

The BatBoys learn fairly quickly that their father doesn’t find it as funny as Jason does.

One day Tim slips up, they all do their best to only poke fun at Jason’s death when the Big Bat isn’t around, but the banter was flowing across the training mats with almost as much ease as the moves themselves.

“Yeah, but you definitely came back wrong.” Tim jabs, his sentence punctuated by an equally precise hit to Jason’s rib cage. Dick’s snort of shocked laughter is audible from across the room.

Before Jason can even process what Tim said, which if asked later, he would admit was pretty funny, Bruce’s newest batarang prototype slammed against the metal workbench. The silence echoed almost as loudly as the previous chatter in the cave.

“He did not.” Teeth clenched, knuckles white. Bruce does not look up from his now mangled project.

Tim, clearly ignoring the neon ‘Do Not Fuck With This’ aura that his dad was omitting, pushed on.

“I mean, a brainless zombie that had to be dunked in the Lazarus pit, which infected his mind with murderous rage. Which he then channeled into becoming a damned crime lord and actual murderer - mass murderer I might add - just to get back at you for not avenging him? Not to mention his m~ mpph!” The rest of his argument is muffled my Jason’s hand.

“I did come back kind of fucked in the head, old man.” He offers a crooked smile when Bruce finally looks up. The image of an 11 year old, tire iron in hand and grinning crookedly, flashes across Bruce’s mind.

“You didn’t.” He insists again. He’s standing now, moving towards the training mats.

Tim picks this moment to scurry over to where Dick is working on a case at the Batcomputer, smart enough to stay out of this.

Jason feels exposed, perceived in a way only Bruce manages to make him feel. Like he’s 11 again and being told he can stay forever. That Bruce truly cares about him and that he’s allowed to have this, to have a family again.

“I don’t care.” Bruce is momentarily distracted by the same lingering sadness he gets whenever he realises how tall Jason is, how much he’s grown without him, but he places his hands on Jason’s shoulders all the same. “I don’t care. Even if you did come back wrong, Jaylad, you still came back.” His emphasis is backed by his hands squeezing Jason’s shoulders.

It still shocks Jason that his dad’s hands haven’t stopped feeling like the safest place in the world. Even after everything, he feels tension bleeding out of him just from this contact.

“Even if you came back wrong, you came back.” Bruce repeats. “You’re my son. That’s all I ever want- all I ever need you to be.” Jason feels his jaw clench, a familiar and decidedly unwelcome burning behind his eyes.

“Whatever, old man. You’re such a sap.” He rolls his eyes, allowing himself a moment of softness, pulling his dad into a hug.

He may have come back different, but to Bruce he would always be the same boy, full of light and magic. And he would thank whatever magic or cosmic miracle or metahuman incident gave him back his light, his little boy.

[baltharino]

Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)

[strange-birb]

Chapter 1 of my ghost rider AU. I’m not a great writer, sorry if it doesn’t make sense lol. Also I drew some of the earlier panels a long time ago so the style may look a lil different…

Enjoy!!!!

[frownyalfred]

Fic idea: Ra’s al Ghul grows tired of waiting for Bruce Wayne to come back to his service in the League of Assassins after spurring his offer ten years ago at the end of his training. He can no longer function as the Demon’s Head due to repeated exposure to the Lazarus Pits, and Talia cannot take his place. Ra’s travels to Gotham with his closest shadows/guards, desperate to make a deal. He corners Bruce Wayne as his famed Bat on a rooftop and gives him an ultimatum: one year of service, one year as the Demon’s Head in his place, and Ra’s will spare his city and family.

Bruce, as Batman, prepares to fight the League shadows and Ra’s, defending his beloved Gotham, until Ra’s adds that amid the carnage and confusion of their resulting fight, he will take a son — any son — and force them to the Demon’s Head in Bruce’s stead. Even the Bat cannot run forever, not from the League. Their existence has always been in passive recognition of the other; fighting will draw heavy losses on both sides.

And so, recalling his own days of training under Ra’s and the horror that await, Bruce agrees. He swears to service for one year, and one year only; no more, no less. No killing. Ra’s tells him his moral code may outlast all of them.

Bruce returns with Ra’s and Talia, faking his death for his family to discover. He hides the traces of League activity and follows them back to Nanda Parbat, where he had trained ten years before. As he embraces his year as the Demon’s Head, certain strained seams begin to appear. Ra’s is dying, and will not return to service in a year. There is no clear successor after Bruce. Killing is “off the table” when he meets with his advisors, but everyone gives him an amused, indulgent look when he mentions it. Talia is not interested in him romantically or sexually, but he gets the impression the word soon is floating around somewhere in her mind.

Soon comes around quickly into his tenure and new life. Ra’s orders him bathed in the Lazarus Pits one night. It takes sixteen League shadows to wrestle him into the water. Once submerged, he sinks without knowing how, all the way down. In the waters, he realizes that the Pits remember everything. This cave system knew Ra’s, it held Jason, and it drowned and changed dozens of powerful men over the years. The waters know, and he knows. He sinks past the shallow cove of Jason’s trauma, so blotted out that he cannot remember the Pit at all; he sinks down into Ra’s life, at the very bottom, and it becomes him. He becomes it. There is no line between them down here, where knowledge simply is.

The man who emerges from the Pits is not Bruce Wayne, not entirely. But it is the man he would have been, had he agreed to LoA service all those years ago. He is sharp and uncompromising. He is the Bat without his code, without his guardrails or rules. He is everything the Demon Head had lost, in the last few centuries of existence. He glows with a dark fire so bright, it sucks away the light from every other source in the room. He is dressed in dark, simple armor and black robes that call back to his former life. His face is bare. His eyes are a bright, all-knowing green.

Our fic picks up after this Demon’s Head comes into his own destiny and power. Told from the perspective of the children Bruce Wayne left behind, who find themselves chasing a shadowy figure around the world with the help of the Justice League. The new Demon’s Head is causing problems for everyone, and things have changed at the global level under his mysterious hand — so why does it feel like the Batkids know him?

It all comes to a head (heh) when the Justice League arrest the Demon’s Head and bring him up to the Watchtower. Only for him to be unmasked as Bruce Wayne, a dead man walking, an unfulfilled legacy, the person who built the very satellite under their feet in another life. Batman himself, with glowing green eyes and a Father’s face. Gone, but remade again. All in service of something greater than one man.

[awhoreintheory]

Yo crazy Jason comes back to life idea, but lowk,,, he came back IN the coffin in some comics right?

Has anyone ever done a version where he was, yknow, prepped for the coffin? Like, where they drain and blood and fill it with chemicals and wire the moth shut? The caps to keep eyes closed?

Body horror on a new level im salivating,,, like his body forcefully pushing out the formaldehyde in his veins and refilling it with blood, living in his corpse despite all odds (thanks superman) like THE POTENTIAL

Jason Todd is THE living dead girl

[ilostmygenderalongwithmydignity]

AU where instead of throwing him off a cliff or whatever after shoving him in a Lazarus Pit, Talia takes Jason and hides him as a regular ass guard. No one is gonna connect the scrawny braindead kid with this intimidating fridge of a person, and Ra’s doesn’t tolerate people looking him directly in the eye anyway, so it’s not like he’ll notice the specific shade of green his eyes are. And it WORKS. Literally no one questions where this guy came from, because Talia gaslights them like “you don’t remember??? smh” and they’re like shit, I guess he’s been here the whole time and I’m just an idiot (he has, but he was basically an experiment during that time)

Anyway, they only get caught because Jason is stationed next to Ra’s in the throne room (he and Talia made a bet about how long it’ll take to get found out, since at least a year has passed like this and they’re starting to wonder about the man’s situational awareness), and someone like Ghostmaker comes in and Ra’s is all “how long has it been since you and Bruce trained here? Twenty years?” And Jason, because it’s Bruce, mutters “twenty slutty, slutty years,” under his breath because he literally cannot help himself. He then realizes he fucked up, as Ra’s and Khoa are just fucking staring at him, and he said that in English, and his New Jersey accent is really obvious.

Dealer’s choice for what happens next, but in my mind this is definitely a “Jason and Damian were brothers in the League” type of deal. Damian shows up in Gotham and tells Bruce he thought he’d be taller bc he’s used to being around Jason, and then when he first sees Brucie he makes some comment like “ahki did call him a slut that one time,” and everyone loses their minds because what do you MEAN your brother, and why was someone in the League slut-shaming Batman???

He refuses to elaborate on either point, other than saying that Ghostmaker was there and it’s the only time he’s seen him laugh.

[calicotopia]

There is a lack of de-aged Jason fics where he's de-aged to 16 when he's catatonic, the angst potential is so good.

Imagine, just as everybody is reconciling, there is an unknown magic user going around terrorizing Gotham. It's not anything major, no huge danger, so they take the case as a bonding activity. They're testing the waters, seeing how everybody works together, who to pair off and who to keep separated. ( Steph and Jason joke a little too much about death ) They come up with a plan to trap the user, Jason and Tim being used to draw the person out. Once they have the magic user cornered, they attack and in a moment of pure instinct Jason jumps in front of Tim and takes the brunt of the magic. At this point the bats only know the basics of Jason's resurrection. He woke up in his grave, dug himself out, and at some point after Talia found him and took him to the LOA. That's all they know, they don't even know about Jason's lil dunk in Ra's evil Jacuzzi. So imagine their surprise when in red hoods now WAY too big armor, is a tiny sixteen year old Jason completely unresponsive. At first they think it's a result of the magic, that it left Jason in a state of shock. They manage to get him back to the cave, where he's still not responding. He just stares, his eyes glossed over with an almost white sheen to them. Jason only reacts when Alfred shows up and calls his name. Turning his head sluggishly to look at Alfred, no other reaction, his face stays blank and after nobody says anything he goes back to staring at the wall. It just freaks everybody out, no one is sure if it's a reaction to the magic or if it's something entirely different. He doesn't move, doesn't talk, he just sits there until someone gently takes his hand to get him dressed in clothes that fit him. Once he's dressed he roams the manor, walking aimlessly, sometimes he just stands in a hallway, his eyes unfocused. Every little reaction or lack of reaction has his family realizing just what is wrong with Jason.

[kittykatninja321]

My less popular opinion (and what I believe to be implied by the art in Lost Days) is that rather than waking up in a fully grown body Jason didn’t actually complete his puberty until after his Lazarus pit dip while he was on his murder tour. Imagine you’re tied up in a basement in Berlin getting interrogated by a teenager and his voice is cracking the entire time and if you laugh he’s going to shoot you

[charlietheepicwriter7]

okay so picture this:

jazz and dani decide to take dan out for a siblings day. you know—mall food court, cheap arcade games, forced family bonding vibes. the idea is to help dan get used to his new clone body (which, btw, looks exactly like danny’s) and also make him feel like part of the family again. Dan is resistant to this, but Jazz manages to break through his walls and suggest building a silbing relationship separate than the one they had when he was Danny. She even throws in hope of their parents accepting him one day, since she thinks they're making progress!

they come home, the Fentons are out of the basement, and the moment they see Dan, one goes "See! I told you the ghost boy was only pretending Danny" And turns out, maddie and jack finally caught Phantom and were vivisecting danny. like full-on, bloody table, total disassociation, parts of him are missing.

dan absolutely loses his shit. Kills the fentons immediately. jazz and dani grab danny and shove him through the portal while dan wrecks the lab and blows the portal up before following.

They go to Frostbite and he reveals that danny’s core can’t handle the trauma. it retreats. and since he’s been half-dead for three years, when he comes out, he de-ages into a three-year-old.

so now you’ve got jazz, dan, and dani stranded with a traumatized toddler version of danny. they flee to gotham, where jazz pretends danny is her son, and the four of them are just… trying to survive. Dan has to pretend to be Danny, which is NOT good for his mental health, but its not like he can stop, it'd be too suspicious if Danny disappeared, and now there's a social worker involved making sure Jazz can keep him, and sometimes if he doesn't see little toddler danny for too long it feels like he can't breath, but he doesn't need to breath--

and obviously the batfam gets involved, i just... don't know how? No ships for Dan, but something rare for Jazz. as a treat.

[fandomismylife]

Ok so I currently don’t have enough little things that are now cannon in my batfam world to make a list right now, so here is how Evil Baha Blast was born

Duke, talking to Jason: so Jason, how does the… *looks at him cautiously*

Jason, confused: what?

Duke: the, Evil Baha Blast? Work?

Jason, looking at Duke with absolute bewilderment: … do you mean the Lazarus pit?

Duke: yeah.

Jason: *starts laughing HYSTERICALLY, and fall out of his chair onto the floor*

Duke, trying so hard not to laugh: am I aloud to laugh at this?

Jason: *starts laughing harder*

Duke just settles for laughing quietly and trying to cover it, but failing miserably, while Jason laughs for another ten minutes. Afterwards they both think Bruce walked in at some point, but neither of them actually know.

[occasionalauthoring]

I just had a terrible idea for an omegaverse fic from your recent post....

The Pit has a scent. Using the Lazarus Pits permanently Alters the scent.

Jason doesn't smell anything like the Jason Bruce raised between the Pit and presenting.

....

Extending this

Bruce will never smell Damien's original scent again.

Damien went in the pit before ever being returned to him.

The pup that was stolen from him doesn't even smell the same.

Okay loosely inspired by a post that might have been by @brucedefender4eva but do I ever really remember correctly

"What do you mean he won't let you in?" Dick asks, raising a brow as he strolls up to Bruce's bedroom. Jason raises his head, giving his brother an incredulous look.

"The fuck do you think it means?"

"Why?" Dick corrects, and Jason shrugs, scuffing a toe against the floor.

"Dunno. Happened to the brat too." Dick stops at that, surprise stopping him in his tracks. "Yeah. I was out back fixing the fence that presser crushed last week when he called me. Kid was doing his damndest not to cry, too."

"You're fucking with me," Dick decides. "Bruce would never turn us away during his heat."

Jason glares at him, and Dick blinks at the watery eyes he's confronted with. "Why the fuck would I joke about this?" He snarls. "Damian is hiding under his covers because he thinks Bruce doesn't want him as a pup anymore. Can't say I don't feel the same." He tries to give Dick a wry grin. "Guess there are downsides to breaking the Bats' rules, after all."

"Don't," Dick chides, stepping close and scenting his brother. "We'll. I'll go in and see what the misunderstanding is."

"'Kay," Jason sniffs, stepping away from the door. Dick tries to give him an encouraging look, and slowly opens the door.

Bruce whines, somewhere in the dark, and Dick slips in, calling out "it's just me, B" as he slips in.

"Don't let them in," he begs somewhere in he dark, and Dick's hand falls off the door in shock. Outside, he hears Jason suck in a breath.

"It's just me," he assures, stepping carefully closer to the voice, unsure where Bruce is holed up in the dark. He hadn't been planning to come home for Bruce's heat this time. They've been at odds for two months now, but...clearly, something is wrong.

His eyes adjust to the dark, and he can make out the vagye shape of Bruce in the darkness, huddled in the corner. Dick edges closer, and slowly kneels in front of his father. "What's going on, B?" A hand snaps out, grabbing his collar, and Dick lurches forward as Bruce yanks him close. There's a long sniff, then Bruce chokes a sound that sounds remarkably like a sob. "You're you. You smell right."

"Yeah, I'm me. What's going on, B?"

Bruce tries to get in front of Dick, like they're prepping for a seige coming through the bedroom door, but he resists. "They're— they're pretending to be your brothers. They look the same, and they sound the same, but—" Bruce breathes heavily. "I know what my pups smell like. They aren't them."

Dick suddenly understands what's going on, and pulls Bruce close. "It's okay, B. How about you rest, and I'll keep watch."

Bruce objects, resists, but Dick lies they'll take turns, praises his raging instincts that he's done a good job keeping watch so far, and manages to get Bruce to pass out against his shoulder. It takes barely anything, he must be exhausted with so much stress during his heat.

Dick stares into the distance, wondering if there is a fix to this. The Lazarus Pits are deeply complex, and both Damian and Jason have been dipped in them. Their own scent 'healed' and replaced with an ambiguous approximation of what it used to be.

Bruce, blinded by the fog of heat and raging instincts, unable to recognise them. Not the young alpha he lost at fifteen, not the little pup he barely had time to love before it was torn from him.

"Dammit," he whispers, tipping his head back.

Through the crack in the door, he makes eye contact with Jason, who visibly swallows and turns away. Dick can't call after him, can't wake Bruce, so just watches him leave.

Maybe it's fixed over time, and Bruce gets used to it. Maybe Damian and Jason never get to nest with Bruce again. Maybe Bruce's heats go from eagerly anticipated to dreaded, because two members of the family are always excluded. Maybe death really is the end.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Duke suggesting they do a lazarus pit simulation

Jason eating jokerized fries in front of Duke

They're both like this

[chaoticbatfam]

jason todd as my experience getting glasses:

Jason: *leans over to tim* what does that billboard say? tim: tim: damn, you blind as fuck jason: DID I ASK FOR THE SASS OR THE FUCKING BILLBOARD

jason: i can't find the paprika- alfred: it's right there, master jason stephanie: do you need your eyes checked? jason: i made an appointment seven months ago and it's still gonna be like five weeks from now stephL: i guess you're . . . . jason: don't you fucking say it, blondie steph: *whispers* blind as a bat jason: *running at her* im going to kill you

jason: what does that say? bruce: *frowns* you can't read that? jason: no i can im just asking---OBVIOUSLY FUCKING NOT

bruce: hey can you read that menu for damian, he's too short to see it jason: no i can't bruce: why not? tim: he's a blind old man jason: and people wonder why i tried to blow all y'all up

jason: i knew my years of obsessively reading no matter the light source or proximity to my face would simeday bite me in the ass. but i really thought it would be like, me walking off a building with my nose in a book or some shit. not having my eyeballs rebel against me. bruce: this is concerning on very many levels

jason: *goes to eye appointment* doctor: so when was your last visit to the eye doctor? jason: jason: um. never. doctor: . . . and, uh, regular doctor? do you have any paperwork from that at least? jason: *laughs* no. doctor: . . . birth certificate? jason: what do i look like, an adult? doctor: *staring up at the brick powerhouse in front of him* . . . yes? jason: *slaps knee* that's a good one. hang on, lemme call my brother. he can probably help seeing as when i was recently dead he was the one that filed all my paperwork and kept my birth certificate and all that shit. doctor: *having an aneurysm* recently dead-

jason: *reading letters off as doctor puts them on the screen* z . . . h . . . . p . . . q? . . . r . . . doctor: *winces* jason: you know i can still see your face right doctor: jason: why are we even doing this. im 100% sure i need the fucking glasses.

jason: *texting roy later* guess who's eyes worked just enough to see the supresssed winces on the doctors faces as they read off every other letter incorrectly roy: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH jason: your lack of sympathy is appalling

jason: *sends photo of himself in new glasses* roy: you're giving off . . . librarian in small town who knows everyone and their grandmother's grandmother but when asked not a single person in the town could tell your name jason: that was better than literally any other compliment anyone could have given me and i love you forever

jason: *walsk in wearing glasses* tim: ooooooooooo nerd jason: i hate this family

[frownyalfred]

something something Jason Todd not realizing how much Bruce was actively keeping his body language neutral and his stature non-threatening until he himself got dunked in the Lazarus Pit and came out just as massive and had to figure out the hard way that he and Bruce can’t just cross their arms or stand at their full heights without scaring civilians

[chaoticbatfam]

Jason: *walks into the manor* Tim: *on the couch* hey Jason, how’s it—wait Jason: *looks over at him* yeah? Tim: is that a DOG Jason: *clearly holding a puppy* no. It’s an extraterrestrial eldrich being. Tim: BRO Jason: *walks into the kitchen, still acting like there is no dog* Alfred: *raises brows* have you adopted a puppy, Master Jason? Unfortunately, there is a rule about animals in the kitchen. As you are aware. Jason: she isn’t an animal. She’s an extraterrestrial eldrich being. Alfred: *stares down at the dog* she looks like a regular dog to me. Jason: fine. I’ll take me and my baby outside. Tim: baby???? He adopted a dog before a child???? I owe Steph ten bucks *from outside* Duke: WHAT IS THAT Jason: a puppy Duke: THAT IS CLEARLY NOT FROM EARTH Tim: Alfred:

[brozoneisblack]

What if