Peter convincing the batfam that he's a Literal Cryptid by using the Iron Spiders mechanical spider legs (tweaked to look more organic) and it literally driving Tim up the wall. Like. They're tweaking SO hard. There's a giant humanoid spider fighting crime.
Halloween special where Werewolf Jason x chronically low blood sugar (hypoglycemic) Peter except none of the werewolf angst and Jason is just a glorified service dog and he can tell when Peter's blood sugar is crashing
Jason: youre cranky because your blood sugar is low
You're not even a Spiderman blog, you're a writer! And even if you were a Spiderman blog, since when are superheroes not political???, it's still your blog and you get to talk about whatever you want. And honestly, just existing is political enough these days. We have to talk and we have to stand up for each other.
The entire existence of comics is political! ART and READING and BREATHING is political! The fact that I even GET TO WRITE is political!! I'm so tired of the "it's not that deep" mentality running rampant ! YES, your English teacher asked you why the curtains are blue. BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN OPINION!! You HAVE to think deeply and question the universe! I literally never heard the end of "That's just how the world is." And "That's just how it goes" and it INFURIATED ME as a kid and it infuriates me to this day. If there is an injustice, we are are supposed to FIX IT. The fact that I can say, "Every human being has a fundamental right to a home, water, food, and an education" and some fuck ass is gonna get mad at me for it????
Spider-Man wouldn't support misogyny, racism, homophobia, or literally any other kind of hate speech.
So why would he support the IDF or the modern day nazi facist regime taking over? He wouldn't. And if you like Spider-Man you shouldn't either
He is an inherently political character if you pay attention. You cant have a character who is "good" and then be afraid of what an actually good person would think and do
Idk man. Ppl who complain that "youre just a spiderman blog why are you getting politcal" are ignorant
Peter wearing shirts inside out on purpose bc the seams drives him absolutely NUTS (like my sock seams oneshot lol)
He constantly told "hey your shirt inside out!" And a piece of him dies everytime it happens (still better than seams)
Damian is the one that does it the most fs and steph says it just to bug him
The only time he wears shirts normally is when he wears thermals under his shirts/in winter bc he NEEDS that buffer between the shirts seams or he'll start screaming. Oh but i hear you "Wouldnt the thermals have seams too??" You ask? Probably.
BUT theyre better than the shirt seams bc he loves his cheesey science pun shirts and theyre def cheap and bad quality so he compromises with accidentally good fashions sense
Which leads into how I ADORE peter in long sleeves (thermals that look like nkrmal long sleeves) under normal graphic tees bc its just so perfect for him (we love no thermo regulation here) also j just think its such a cute combo, hence accidentally having good taste despite the shitty science pun offending the world
I never imgine him in anything else besides the spider suit tbh
Like that just His Style and rotates like a cartoon MC with one outfit (which immediately negates his accidental good fashion choices)
I love looking through ppl who bookmark my fics on ao3 bc yall say some funny ass shit (bc that stuff is public if you didnt know lol)
WHICH AMAZING SEGWAY bc bookmarks are PUBLIC so (unless made private) and so I CAN unfortunately see when ppl put stuff like "read when finished" or "let simmer" (and one weird "better than expected" so judgement to them too)
Which idrc abt most of the time but this lowk applies to Manhwas, Manga, comics, novels, etc.
You cant not engage, not encourage, not comment, not give kudos on ongoing works and then get disappointed when the works arent finished fast or even dropped like?? It rubs me the wrong way when I see that on others ppls stuff
Youre not always gonna get a completed fic or comic, but that doesnt mean you shouldn't engage period
Plagued by the idea of Damian and Peter having "annoying sibling in the same age range who is completely different" syndrome (even if theyre just friends and not family)
But it MUST be accompanied with Peter calling Damian DW (literally just abbreviating Damian Wayne) bc I think they'd have the same dynamic lowk and Damian would HATE the nickname
Theyd lowk have the same dynamic too ngl
Peter (at Tim): maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this!
Damian: its ONLY children, Peter. A lonely child is what youre going to be when I sell you
â
Damian: Peter can I ask you a question?
Peter, in a good mood: of course!
Damian: why dont you go back to Richard's house and stop bothering us!
I may have said Peter calls Damian DW, not that Peter doesnt exude the aura of annoying younger brother bc he DOES
The only time Peter is even remotely cool and big brotherish is when you dont know him personally and I stand by that
Older!Peter coming through a portal to fix younger!Peter bc hes glitching bc of conflicting cannon idk plot?? Maybe rebirth bc i like that more than deaging tbh
Younger!peter was non verbal and everyone is surprised at how chatty peter is at 15/16 (and super proud) (they seize the moment to ask older!peter questions and what they can do for him while hes non-verbal)
7 y/o Peter hiding in Bruce's cape bc its Safe and Dark and Not Loud, but its not even his family thats bejng loud, its someone saying hes him (Peter), but older? He doesnt get it, but his dad and and aunties and uncles get it. The guy in a spider suit says hes here to fix the pain he goes through, but he calls it "glitches" instead of chronic pain like Dr Leslie said.
Its just... hes so loud, and his jokes are so bad. Is that really Peter in the future?
16 y/o Peter: âand so when I was his age, I also came to fix the glitches, so basically if I dont id die. Its like...
Tim, snapping his fingers: a fixture point!
Peter, pointing: Yes, precisely uncle tim!
Dick, slowly: the chronic pain would... kill him? You?
Older Peter: its not chronic pain, its glitches in reality, dad. Keep up. Besides the asthma and glasses, we're totally healthy!
Older Peter: physically
Younger peter tugging on older Peter's suit, holding up his notepad for him to read. Older peter bends town to read thoughtfully
Older Peter: "what need?" What do I need to do?
Younger Peter nodding:
Older Peter, carefully: you still like spiders?
Younger Peter bursts into tears immediately, shaking his head frantically. Dick comes to scoop him up immediately, shushing him and rubbing his back soothingly.
Older peter, sighing: yeah, me too kid
Dick: what do spiders have to do with him? He hates... them...
Dick, staring at the spider emblem on his (future) son's suit:
Dick, firmly: No.
Older Peter, smiling sadly: afraid there's not much choice, dad
Older peter, pulling out a vial with a brightly colored spider crawling around. It was evidently not a natural occurring species
Older peter: the only way to stop them glitches and anchor me in this universe is this
Bruce, with furrowed brows: you cant live unless you get your powers from a spider?
Older Peter: man, you guys are always so quick with the deductions! Bht yeah, basically. Peter Parker always becomes Spider-Man.
Dick, defensive: his last name isn't Parker
Older Peter, smiling sadly: anymore.
Older peter holds his hand out to younger Peter: please? I designed this one, so its a lot better than last time
Younger Peter, hiccuping in Dick's arms. He stares and is hesitant, but eventually gives in.
Older peter cradles his hand, gently tapping the vial onto younger Peters palm until the neon spider falls out, agitated.
Eh done there tbh skipping aheadddd I got too absorbed in the lore lol
But basically the spider is the "anchor" point for peter? But there's no one to make the spider bc oscorp doesnt exist, so he has to manually make it. Which obviously doesnt explain how he makes it to 16 in order to make it, come back, allow himself to get bit, and thus live, which i love the mystery behind that leave a theory idea
â+â
Dick, extremely serious: peter... while we have you...
Older peter mentallt preparing his "i cant tell you about the future" speech the Flash basically burned intl him: hmm? Yeah wassup
Dick, fiddling: can you pleaseâ
Older peter blurting out: âI cant tell you about the future
Dick: âtell me what are bad foods and which ones you like?? You cant keep eating Dino nuggets... Alfred's pride can only take so many blows
Older Peter: oh. That is not what I expected... but you've come to the right man
A board materializes behind him with two categories "good food" and "bad food"
Older peter: listen well and listen good! Slimy, greasey, and otherwise Bad Textured food can be found here, here, and here.
Damian, taking notes and raising his hand: do pickles fall under this category?
Peter, answering seriously: no, pickles are the sole exception, of course.
Tim, also raising his hand: how come mashed potatoes are a "maybe"?
Peter: I dont like if there's chunks in there. Creamy smooth 'taters are the only way.
Bruce: so at what age do you stop ordering chicken tenders and fries everytime we go to a nice restaurant?
Peter laughs openly: never. Next
Dick: any bad drinks?
Peter: sparkling water. Pulp in juice especially. And, uhhh, alcohol too
Dick raising an eyebrow: i thought you said you were 16?
Peter raising an eyebrow back: you want this cheat sheet or not dude
Dick: I apologize
Peter: thats what I thought
Peter: Anyways moving onto Why Socks With Seems Suck and which textures to avoid
A tutorial for a workskin that allows you to make text messages that look similar to IOS messages!
I made this tutorial in January but it only recently occurred to me to post it here on tumblr. It basically looks like IOS messages and you can scroll through the messages like youâre scrolling on a phone. It works with LADS emojis as well.
As you can see from the GIF, the emojis are animated, not still images. The skin can also display still images if youâd like.
I hope this skin can be helpful to anyone whoâs writing text fics!
The bats are on patrol and it's a pretty slow night. Doesn't mean it's quite, not with the ongoing banter that's taking place in the comms.
It's mostly just Dick, egging the others on their relationship status and Tim was just about done with him, he'd like to be left alone thank you very much, like:
Dick: Tim. Come on. There's nobody? Not even a little date?
Tim: There's nobody, there's no time, and I wouldn't know what to do with a relationship if I had one. Can we move on.
Dick: You'd figure it outâ
Tim: How, Dick? I'm running four cases, I average on two hours of sleep, and I'm currently crouched on a rooftop in 30 degree weather. I'm not exactly in a position to meet someone. They'd have to literally fall out of the skyâ
A glowing orange portal rips open above Gotham. There is exactly one second of stunned silence beforeâ
"OH COME ONâ"
A guy plummets thirty feet before slamming into the pavement a few feet away from Tim.
Peter being rlly far away from smth and the batfam are freaking out and hes like "chillax bro I can make it" and hes like a full 2 minute dead print from Cass (their fastest besides peter) and they are losing their MARBLES
Que peter busting out w his (forgettable but canon) enhanced speed (think it tops out at like 250-300???) And fucjing. FLOORS it
But he can't, like, stop properly and he just. Slams into either a wall OR a super or smth
OR OR he is able to stop, but it literally melts his shoes and rips up his feet horrendously
Tims like "wtf peter!?! You didnt say you had super speed!?"
And peter, with his feet actively bleeding and smelling like burnt rubber from the friction of stopping, first priority is correcting tim
"Well, super speed is a bit of a stretch. Enhanced is more accurate because, like, the flash way is faster than me, yknow?"
Duke stares. "You... are aware hes literally the exception?"
Peter narrowed his eyes, face scrunched up in a scowl and clearly unamused.Â
"It's you."
Spoiler perked right up. She'd been waiting on Peter's designated roof since she started patrol tonight.
"Peter Pan!" She waved jovially, pushing past Peterâs salty exterior. It reminded her a lot of Robin.Â
He stayed where he was, on the last step of the ladder, refusing to climb up. "I thought I was âfruit boyâ." He said, with heavy air quotes despite being on the ladder. A surprising show of athleticness, only surpassed by his judgmental tone.
"Okay, okay, listen! I come bearing gifts," she held up one of those family sized boxes of Chinese food and a drink. Sweet tea, because Robin didn't, and she quotes, "want him drinking that crap", end quote.
"I don't take bribes from homophobes." Peter said hotly. Which, had the right spirit, but Spoiler was the totally wrong person. She loved all women! And, like, two guys. Just your average bisexual woman.
"Im not a homophobe!" Spoiler whined.
"You kept laughing and calling me fruit boy." Peter said flatly.
"Well, because, y'know... you always have fruit?" She said weakly.
She wanted to make amends so bad. It sucks being the only bat Peter wouldn't photograph or even talk to. And they'd get along SO good! She just had to get past her initial impression... perhaps jumping straight to talking to peter like she knew him was not the way to go.
She'd overheard so many conversations between him and the others, by the time she got to met him, she went straight into it. Now she was like the shunned black bird of the family. To Peter, the objectively funniest person she's had the pleasure of hearing roast her family-not-family.
He wouldn't give her fruit or trail mix either because her name wasnât bird themed, and therefore didn't think she was part bird/bat, like the others. Curse her vigilante name she chose to spite her father,,,
Peter still didn't answer.
"Okay, what if I can clear my name before you clear a plate of Chinese food?" Spoiler offered, seeing if turning it into a challenge would work insteaâ
"Okay." And suddenly Peter was right next to her, already opening the box.
She lit up. Unfortunately, she couldn't eat any because she didn't have a domino and only a lower face covering, but that's okay. Peter liked making fun of her for that too. He actually hated it more than how the others just wore dominos, but she forgot to grab her new one before rushing out to beat Robin. And Nightwing. And Red Robin. And⌠Batman? Seriously?Â
"Kay, so my first evidence for the prosecution is... this!" She wiped out her phone, already open on a picture of her and Black Bat holding hands, Spoiler leaning into her with a bat burger bag in the other hand. RR had taken the picture, his unimpressed face in the lower left hand corner.
Peter paused, a massive chunk of orange chicken half way in his mouth. He squinted.
"A picthur of you... an' Blah' baâ?" He raised an unimpressed eyebrow, mouth full of food.
"Well, yes, and you can't tell anyone else, but!" She leaned in to whisper. "Sheâs my girlfriend."
Peter stared unimpressed. "You?"
Spoiler nodded excitedly.
"But Black Bat is so much cooler..." Which, well, yes, but Spoiler felt the need to defend her pride. "She has aâ"
"âfull face mask," Spoiler sighed "I know! Ugh, okay!"
Spoiler scrubbed her face, unreasonably stressed about this very non stressful situation.Â
"How can I make it up to you?"
"What are you, a dead beat dad or a shitty boyfriend?"
Spoiler pursed her lips. A little too close to home there, huh? Not for her, but wellâ close to her by association, she supposes.
After the DNA test from last night... to say they were put into a panic would be an understatement. She might've played it down, saying she rushed out to beat the others. It was more like... they were in the process of setting up a nightly and daily watch for Peter. Just until they could figure out their game plan and, well, verify he really was Nightwing's actual son and not some clone or ploy.Â
Spoiler has a feeling if Peter turns out to be part of some scheme to hurt them⌠Nightwing would be really hurt, but Robin would lose the first friend heâs made since Superboy.Â
While this family always has something crazy or angsty going on, Spoiler hopes this isnât one of those cases.Â
But Peter's DNA was spliced with something; something definitely not human. Not in a meta way, not in an alien way, in a purposely edited way. But not a perfect clone, either. Though that didnât rule out a whole lot, considering, yâknow⌠With this family, nothing was ever as straightforward as a random accidental pregnancy. Not even Batman was afforded that luxury, what with his tube-baby assassin kid. (Red Robin absolutely killed it by saying Robin came out of a fricken egg. God, she wishes she was the one who got to say that. Eternal glory.)
RR had even been muttering about checking the timeline and speed force, especially from the one time Batman met his daughter from another universe. (Spoiler thinks her name was Huntress? She sounded like a total badass to herâŚ)
So yeah, TLDR; Spoiler was technically sitting with her Nephew, who didn't like her because Peter thought she was making homophobic jokes at him.
She was already in last place for auntie, and the only other competition was her girlfriend!Â
Spoiler settled for giving Peter puppy dog eyes.
He raised a brow, evidently unaffected. Probably because his were far superior⌠Heâd conned Nightwing into a shanigan or two.Â
"You can make it up to me by..." he grinned maliciously. "By making a thank you card for Batman."
Spoiler paused, considering. "Well, he's not really my dad, per se, more like I'm datingâ"
"His one and only daughter and the only other actual bat? Yeah, exactly! Thank him for giving birth to your girlfriend." Peter nodded to himself, like he made perfect sense.
Spoiler nodded along easily. "Okay! I'll thank him for Black Bat." She somehow said without busting out into laughter. Is this what Batman was always talking about when he said to 'take your mission seriously'? Game changer, seriously.
Peter studied her before deeming her sincerity good enough. "Okay, good. Mr. Batman is really nice. You gotta give your parents,â he eyed her. âEr, parent in law?â
Spoiler nodded, making a so-so motion. He was more or less right, anyway. Like a weird mix of being a boss, father in law, not-quite paternal figure but still-up-there situation.Â
âGotta appreciate them before they die tragically.â Peter nodded solemnly.Â
Spoiler blue screened. But, like, was he wrong?Â
âUh, do you, like⌠want to talk⌠about that?â Spoiler asked hesitantly, unsure what her standing was with Peter after feeding him. When he gets prodded too much he just leaves, as they found out the hard way.Â
âNah.â He said simply, shoving another bite in his mouth and swallowing like a pelican.Â
One of Spoilerâs favorite aspects of kids was how blunt they were. But in this instance, she wished he was more âoversharing that his parents divorced because his daddy likes putting it all on blackâ and not âno, I donât wannaâ kind of kid.Â
âOkay.â She said back in fear of losing her hard won (read: bribed) Peter privileges.Â
He pulled out paper and pens from his bag, and even some markers. He was more prepared than he was with RR, so evidently he was planning more appreciation letters for Batman. It was honestly so adorable, Spoiler felt like she had seven new cavities. No wonder why Batman was so fond, begrudgingly or not. Maybe he knew intrinsically with his new Grandpa gut? Spoiler wouldnât put it past The Dark Knight.Â
Now if he could just move past this bout of hyper suspicion before he ruined his relationship with his grandson before it even starts would be great, honestly.
Though, Spoiler can't deny he does have a good reason to be suspiciousâŚ
Even more so because of just how suspicious and off putting so much around Peter tends to be. Initially, they assumed either trafficking or immigration, considering his lack of records.
Then Immigration was ruled out, leaving the worst option left; trafficking.
But Peter still didn't fit the profile for that. Not trafficking, not immigration, not a child soldier, but not a normal child either.
A mystery driving everyone mad was the most apt definition at this moment.
"I just wanna say, all that happened before I got here. Does that at least clear my name of not being a bad partial-offspring?" Spoiler bargained, absolutely willing to throw everyone else under the bus. She had favor to curry.
Peter hummed thoughtfully. "Okay, mitigating circumstances.âÂ
Spoiler fist pumped in victory, obediently beginning to color her page again. She already had a monopoly on the purple marker.Â
He pointed his chopsticks menacingly at her. âBut not a full acquittal!â
âWhat!? Spoiler said, indignant at such an accusation.Â
âWhile you may not have been the first child, you werenât the last, either!â Peter nodded to himself, something he did often. âWhere were you for Robin? I heard he came from a, yâknowâŚâ He leaned in, whispering. âAn egg!âÂ
Oh, right, RR did say it was quote unquote, âconfidential informationâ. She canât wait for when he runs into Robin again. She needs to have cameras set up to savor that moment forever.Â
Spoiler nodded sagely. âYes, yes he was⌠I was out of town, though!Â
Peter squinted. âConvenient.â
âIt was very inconvenient, actually. It was an ordeal, Pete.â The âordealâ she speaks of was faking her death and then coming back as Batgirl, but thatâs actual confidential information.Â
âUh-huh.â Peter went back to his food, deeply unconvinced. âSounds like an alibi someone made up after the egg hatched.â
Spoiler pressed a hand to her chest. âI am being framed.â
âYouâre being investigated,â Peter corrected. âBig difference.â
She looked down at her half-finished card, contemplating adding another color other than purple and black. âOkay, but what if I add glitter?â
Peter paused mid-chew.
Spoiler watched him closely. âThe good kind. Not loose glitter. Iâm not a monster.â
Peter considered this with grave seriousness. âGlitter glue?â
âObviously.â
He lowered the chopsticks. âThat would help your case.â
Spoiler fist-pumped again, quieter this time. Progress. She was making progress. âGreat. Perfect. I love due process.â
Peter pointed at her card with his chopsticks. âWrite âthank you for your bat serviceâ on the inside.â
âSir, yes sir!â She mock saluted, pulling out the glitter glue she always kept handy. You never know when youâll need a glitter bomb, pocket glitter, glitter glue, the list goes on.Â
Spoiler dutifully added onto her thank-you letter, though she peaked at Peter as he finished off his food and began to fold some paper into almost-origami.Â
âHow come youâre not making a thank-you letter too?â She asked idly, since their bickering seemed to have come to an end.Â
He raised an eyebrow. âBecause I already made one with Red Robin?â
Spoiler tilted her head to the side for a moment, thinking. âHow about making some for the other vigilantes?âÂ
Peter blinked. âWait, who else has kids?!âÂ
Well, that is not what Spoiler was talking about. But technically that would be Nightwing. Because, well, yâknow. Peter is literally his kid, soâŚÂ
âPfffâ no! No, theyâreââ Spoiler broke out into laughter, caught between the irony and the horror of anymore kids. She wiped a tear away. âNo, but it wouldnât hurt, right?âÂ
Peter frowned. Man, he was not a fan of being laughed at. He liked making people laugh, but he was not a fan of being laughed at. Very different things. Also how Spoiler ended up on his shit-list in the first place.Â
âI guessâŚâ Peter shrugged, not very into the idea since it wasnât about Batman.Â
âYou could thank Black Bat for her full face mask.â Spoiler said as a last ditch effort, resigned.Â
âYouâre a genius!â Peter perked up immediately. He evidently leaned more toward the bat themed vigilantes⌠was this discrimination? Like, Spoiler was already exempt from the fruit list because she wasnât a bird or a bat. Sigh, the cost of being cooler than everyone else.Â
She sighed dramatically. âI know. Itâs quite burdensome at times.âÂ
Peterâs only response was side-eyeing her.Â
âYouâre gonna get a big head and float away,â he snarked, but was already pulling out another sheet of paper.
Spoiler clutched her chest. âWow. I offer you creative inspiration and this is the thanks I get?â
âYouâre on probation,â Peter reminded her, very seriously.
âRight. Right, sorry. Humble. Staying humble.â She mimed zipping her lips, then immediately unzipped them. âBut I am a genius, just for the courtâs records?â
Peter ignored her, tongue poking out slightly as he started sketching again.
Spoiler leaned over, trying to get a better look. âSo whatâs this one gonna say? âThank you for wearing a full face maskâ?â
Peter paused.
âNo wayâŚ.â Spoiler lit up. âIs that seriously what youâre gonna write?ââ
âWell someone has to thank her for her service! You know how many heroes actually wear a proper mask? Too few, Spoiler, too few.â Peter explained like it was the most important thing in the world.Â
âIâm a visionary. A prophet, even.âÂ
âYeah, a false prophet maybe.â Peter rolled his eyes, but went back to drawing. His tongue sticking out quite adorably in concentration.Â
Peter added a couple of little bats around the words, then a very dramatic, flowing outline of what was clearly meant to be a full-face mask.
Spoiler squinted. ââŚthat looks like a sock.â
âItâs just the outline!â Peter defended.
âOf what? A sock?â
âDami would be disappointed if I could draw a simple frontal.â Peter said seriously, though it was inaccurate.Â
He was obviously talking about Damian, and while he likes drawing, he doesnât expect everyone to be on his level. Damian draws with Peter because he likes hanging out with him. (Not that heâd ever admit that, of course.)
âDami? Is that your art teacher or something?â Spoiler played dumb
Peter shook his head, still focussed on the task at hand. âNuhuh, heâs my friend. We hang out all the time. Sometimes even with his brothers and stuff.â
âHis brothers? Do you like them?â Spoiler asked.Â
Peter thought for a moment. âDamianâs familyâs really nice to me, butâŚâÂ
That was an ominous way to end a sentence pertaining to their civilian identities.Â
Peter looked up from his Black Bat appreciation card to squint at Spoiler. She did her best to project her earnestness (which was easier with her eyes not obscured by a domino, by the way).Â
And it worked.Â
âI dunno⌠I feel like they feel sorry for me.â Peter pursed his lips. âThey talk in circles and around the bush because I live in Robinville,â read: near Crime Alley, homeless and guardianless, âso I feel like they walk on eggshells around me.â
âCause, like, Damian is always straight forward and doesnât, like, try to pick at every single thing I say. He says it how it is and he doesnât think less of me.âÂ
He began to shade the Black Bat drawing with decent accurateness, considering how elusive she typically is. Most people never get, or stay, close enough to see the finer details of her mask. And Peter only got to see her once in passing, thatâs the impressive part!Â
âI like them, though. His brothers are fun, when theyâre not looking at me like Iâm some poor puppy.â Peter looked like he was going to say more, but decided against it.
Which⌠Yeah, that sounds about right. Robin should be proof enough some of them arenât the best with kids outside of costume.Â
Spoiler hummed thoughtfully. She, as a civilian, was close. But as a vigilante, she wouldnât know anything about that, realistically. So she had to act that part.Â
âWell, have you tried acting more like your friend?â
Peter tilted his head, but looked ready to defend his friend's honor. Cute. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âWell, by being more direct.âÂ
A realization dawned on Peter.Â
âOh.â He paused, thinking it through. âUm. I usually just leave when I get annoyed, soâŚâ
Spoiler stared at him.
ââŚyeah, that tracks.â
âItâs efficient,â Peter added, nodding like heâd just made a strong point. He does that a lot.Â
âItâs evasive.â
âIt avoids conflict.â
âIt creates more conflict later.â
Peter frowned. âNot if you donât come back.â
Spoiler snorted. âOkay, yeah, thatâs one way to solve it.â
He shrugged, going back to outlining the card. âIt works. Mostly.â
âPeter.â
âWhat.â
âYou cannot ghost an entire family.â
âWatch me.â
âI have been,â she said dryly. âItâs why you hate me.â
âI donât hate you,â he corrected automatically.
She perked up. âOh?â
âYouâre justââ he waved his marker around, searching for the word, ââkind of difficult?â
She bumped shoulders with him. âSometimes difficult isnât so bad, yeah?â
âDonât push it.â He said, though he didnât look displeased.Â
Spoiler grinned anyway.
âOkay, but hypothetically,â she continued, leaning forward a little, âif you didnât avoid them, what would you say?â
Peter paused mid-line.
ââŚI donât know.â
âTry.â
He made a face.
ââŚlike, âstop looking at me like thatâ?â he offered.
Spoiler nodded. âGood start.â
ââIâm not a puppy.ââ
âExcellent. Strong message.â
ââI can hear you thinking.ââ
âA little threatening, but I respect it.â
Peter huffed a laugh despite himself, shaking his head.
âDami would just call them stupid.â
âHe probably calls everyone stupid.â
âYeah, but he means it. Plus, his insults are always so polished, if youâre dumb you donât even know he just insulted your entire bloodline.â
Spoiler would know. Sheâs a longtime victim of Robin now.Â
Spoiler leaned back again. âSee? Youâre getting the hang of it.â
Peter didnât respond, but he didnât immediately dismiss it either, which Spoiler was counting as progress.
ââŚstill gonna leave sometimes,â he muttered.
âYeah,â she said easily. âFair.â
Peter pulled away from the card heâd been working on showing off a surprisingly good drawing of Black Bat looking very heroic with several big red arrows pointing at her mask.Â
âHey, that came out really good!âÂ
âGood for a sock, you mean?â Peter said smugly.Â
âBest sock I ever did see.â She said solemnly.Â
Peter huffed, clearly pleased despite himself, and added one last aggressive arrow pointing at the mask like he needed to really drive the point home.
That was more so just the cover of the letter, and Spoiler had seen Peter writing something on the inside. He liked Black Bat for more than just her mask, but because she was an excellent vigilante. Even if she wasnât as popular as Nightwing or Batman.Â
Spoiler watched him for a second, grin softening just a bit.
He was a good kid, despite his circumstances. A little avoidant? Sure, but daddy issues will do that to a person. (Spoilers! Personal experience talking.) (Nightwing is going to have to pay for his therapy)
Peter finished off the last of his tea and put the trash in his bag. âUm, make sure you get your letter to Batman, by the way!â
âHeâd know if I didnât⌠heâs the worldâs best detective, yâknow?â Spoiler said conspiratorily, helping Peter clean up the rest of their mess. Littering is bad, kids!Â
âWant me to take your letter to Black Bat, too?â Spoiler asked, gesturing to paper tucked into Peterâs pocket.Â
He thought for a moment. âUhm⌠No, Iâm good. Wanna give it to her myself.âÂ
Spoiler nodded, somewhat mystified that something so cute was part Nightwing. (But then she remembered what living and working with him was like and it clicked together seamlessly. How someone can never meet their dad and still be the spitting image of themâ personality wiseâ is a wonder. Peter held similarities to Dick in the way Damian was reminiscent of Bruce even when he was the carbon copy of Talia. It was all in mannerisms and expressions, more than anything else.)Â
She checked the time on her phone, then glanced back out over the rooftops. It was a relatively uneventful night, but she still had to make her rounds.Â
Duty, unfortunately, called.
âWelp!â she clapped her hands lightly against her knees as she pushed herself up. âGotta finish my patrol. Crime doesnât stop just because Iâm busy defending my honor.â
âSkill issue.âÂ
âRude,â she shot back automatically, already stepping toward the edge of the roof. Then she paused, glancing back at him. âYouâre a good kid, Peter. You deserve nice things, too.â
Peter didnât respond to that. He ducked his head instead, shoulders hunching just a little, like he didnât quite know what to do with something like that.
She couldnât resist the urge, playfully ruffling his curls. If both Batman and RR got to do it, then she wanted to, too!Â
Spoiler smiled softly before she dropped off the building and out of sight.Â
Peter is an easy going kid, but by no means is he easy as a person. Heâs sassy and tight-lipped and stubborn. And when he gets fed up with them, as vigilantes and in civvies, he just leaves without a word.
He is difficult, but he is worth it.Â
Spoiler turned off her mute and was immediately bombarded with Nightwing asking question after question, with an unsurprising Robin in tow.Â
âHow is he? Is he okay? Oh man, I should bring some blanketsââ Nightwing somehow managed to hover from across the city. Spoiler rolled her eyes.Â
âDude, chill, this is what Peter was talking about with the puppy thing.â Spoiler sighed, grappling out of Robbinville.Â
âPuppy thing? What puppies?â Nightwing asked, confused.Â
âDid Peter find some strays?â was Robinâs first priority. He muttered something about âgoing against their pactâ, but boy friendships were weird. Spoiler stopped questioning it.Â
She smiled vindictively. Â
âWell, actuallyââÂ
She cut herself off, spotting something in the distance. A black mass too big to be her lovely and amazing girlfriend, leaving the only viable option being her broody boss-almost-dad-but-not-quite situation. Spoiler did a detour to land on the rooftop next to Batman.Â
Spoiler didnât startle, far too used to this. âYou have got to stop doing that, man.â she groaned.Â
Batman didnât respond, staring ominously. Instead, he extended his hand once Spoiler was closer.Â
Spoiler raised an eyebrow.Â
ââŚseriously?â she said flatly. âNo greeting? No âhow was your night, Spoilerâ? Nothing?â
Batman awkwardly cleared his throat. âHow was your night, Spoilerââ
âNo, nevermind, that was weird,â Spoiler waved him off. She began rummaging around in her pouches, more for show than anything because she wanted to make him wait.Â
Pulling out the card, still faintly sticky from the glitter glue, placing it into his palm with gusto. âOne âthank you for giving birth to my girlfriendâ appreciation card!â
Batman was hardly moved by the joke, since itâs been non-stop since RRâs letter. (And when Oracle got ahold of the audio of their conversation. Best favor Spoiler ever used.) He took the card silently, but with surprising gentleness.Â
âOh, alsoâŚâ Spoiler had been thinking about this one for a minute too. âWho's gonna be the one to break it to Peter?âÂ
Batman, adeptly assuming sheâs not talking about his parentage, waits for her to elaborate.Â
âThat youâre not part bat and, the best part, that you didnât give birth to anyone?â She gave an appraising look. âBut if you did, you look great!âÂ
Batman looked at her flatly.Â
âPeterâs coaching me on how to talk to pregnant people and parents,â Spoiler added. âAm I doing good? He said heâd shorten my probation if I got good marks.â
She finally got Batman to do his signature sigh as he turned away, ready to grapple back into the night.Â
âDonât you like toâŚâ He paused dramatically to look back at her.. ââSpoilâ it?âÂ
Batman smirked at Spoilerâs baffled face and the roaring comms before leaping off the roof.Â
She stood alone, scandalized, as the others roared on the other side.Â
âDid he justâ?âÂ
âI clipped it!âÂ
âI taught him how to do that.âÂ
âNo you didnâtâÂ
They laughed like a pack of hyenas, which was a real testament considering Spoiler literally pet sat for Harley last week.Â
âDude, you just got served.â Nightwing wheezed uncontrollably.Â
âThe Court themed jokes are only funny from Peter.â Â
âJurys out and Batman is in.â
âThat doesnât even make sense!â Spoiler whined.Â
âDoesnât matter, you got roasted by B.â Nightwing informed solemnly. Permanent aura loss.Â
â...Youâre the one thatâs going to have to explain to Peter that B didnât give birth to you guys.âÂ
The line went silent once more.Â
âFuckâŚâ Nightwing swore softly.Â
The hyenas returned at max volume.Â
â+â
When Staphanie came to the batcave the next day, she didnât know how to feel when she saw her card hung with equal importance, right alongside Timâs and Peterâs.Â
Even with Timâs piss poor creativity, it was at least readable. Some parts were left illegible from where the excessive purple glitter glue bled into the purple marker. It was a bit wrinkled, she wasnât nearly as gentle with the card as Bruce was, but heâd taken the time to smooth them back out. There was a glitter, way too much glitter, something that annoyed everyone at times. Steph was perpetually covered in glitter day and night, and she naturally left glitter everyone she was. Steph called it her âsparkle brightening the room upâ, but the others (besides Cass) donât care for the stubbornness of the glitter.Â
Itâs not that she was so insecure to think Bruce didnât care about her as much as his actually adopted kids. But she was technically, legally, not his responsibility.Â
Her mom was still alive, she didnât live here, and she wasnât always the best at listening to ordersâŚÂ
