🍖 How to Build a Culture Without Just Inventing Spices and Necklaces
(a worldbuilding roast. with love.)
So. You’re building a fantasy world, and you’ve just invented:
→ Three types of ceremonial jewelry
→ A spice that tastes like cinnamon if it were bitter and cursed
→ A holiday where everyone wears gold and screams at dawn
Cute. But that’s not culture. That’s aesthetics.
And if your worldbuilding is all outfits, dances, and spice blends with vaguely mystical names, your story’s probably going to feel like a cosplay convention held inside a Pinterest board.
Here’s how to fix that—aka: how to build a real, functioning culture that shapes your story, not just its vibes.
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🔗 Culture Is Built on Power, Not Just Style
Ask yourself:
→ Who’s in charge, and why?
→ Who has land? Who doesn’t?
→ What’s considered taboo, sacred, or punishable by death?
Culture is shaped by who gets to make the rules and who gets crushed by them. That’s where things like religion, family structure, class divisions, gender roles, and social expectations actually come from.
Start there. Not at the embroidery.
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2.🪓 Culture Comes From Conflict
Did this society evolve peacefully? Was it colonized? Did it colonize? Was it rebuilt after a war? Is it still in one?
→ What was destroyed and mythologized?
→ What do the survivors still whisper about?
→ What do children get taught in school that’s… suspiciously sanitized?
No culture is neutral. Every tradition has a history, and that history should taste like blood, loss, or propaganda.
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3.🧠 Belief Systems > Customs Lists
Sure, rituals and holidays are cool. But what do people believe about:
→ Death?
→ Love?
→ Time?
→ The natural world?
→ Justice?
Example: A society that believes time is cyclical vs. one that sees time as linear will approach everything—from prison sentences to grief—completely differently.
You don’t need to invent 80 gods. You need to know what those gods mean to the people who pray to them.
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4.🫀 Culture Controls Behavior (Quietly)
Culture shows up in:
→ What people apologize for
→ What insults cut deepest
→ What people are embarrassed about
→ What’s praised publicly vs. what’s hidden privately
For instance:
→ A culture obsessed with stoicism won’t say “I love you.” They’ll say “Have you eaten?”
→ A culture built on legacy might prioritize ancestor veneration, archival writing, name inheritance.
This stuff? Way more immersive than giving everyone matching earrings.
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5. 🏠 Culture = Daily Life, Not Just Festivals
Sure, your MC might attend a funeral where people paint their faces blue. But what about:
→ Breakfast routines?
→ How people greet each other on the street?
→ Who cooks, and who eats first?
→ What’s considered “clean” or “proper”?
→ How is parenting handled? Divorce?
Culture is what happens between plot points. It should shape your character’s assumptions, language, fears, and habits—whether or not a festival is going on.
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6. 💬 Let Your Characters Disagree With Their Own Culture
A culture isn’t a monolith.
Even in deeply traditional societies, people:
→ Rebel
→ Question
→ Break rules
→ Misinterpret laws
→ Mock sacred things
→ Act hypocritically
→ Weaponize or resist what’s expected
Let your characters wrestle with the culture around them. That’s where realism (and tension) lives.
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7.🧼 Beware the “Pretty = Good” Trap
Worldbuilding gets boring fast when:
→ The protagonist’s homeland is beautiful and pure
→ The enemy’s culture is dark and “barbaric”
→ Every detail just reinforces who the reader should like
You can—and should—challenge the aesthetic hierarchy.
→ Let ugly things be beloved.
→ Let beautiful things be corrupt.
→ Let your MC romanticize their culture and then get disillusioned by it later.
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📍 TL;DR (but like, spicy):
→ Culture is not food and jewelry.
→ Culture is power, fear, memory, contradiction.
→ Stop inventing spices until you know who starved last winter.
→ Let your world feel lived in, not curated.
The best cultural worldbuilding doesn’t look like a list.
It feels like a system. A pressure. A presence your characters can’t escape—even if they try.
Now go. Build something real. (You can add spices later.)
—rin t.
// writing advice for worldbuilders with rage and range
// thewriteadviceforwriters
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(A.K.A. the quiet stuff that says everything without screaming it)
❥ The “I Always Sit Facing the Exit” Quirk
They don’t talk about their childhood much, but they always know where the exits are. Every restaurant. Every train. Trauma has muscle memory. Your job is to notice what it’s saying without needing a monologue about it.
❥ The “I Can’t Sleep Until I Hear You Lock the Door” Habit
It's not controlling. It's care shaped like paranoia. They say “Goodnight” like it’s casual, but they’re counting the clicks of the lock like a lullaby. Let that show more than “I love you.”
❥ The “I Keep Everything You’ve Ever Given Me” Thing
Not just gifts. Receipts with your doodles. The crumpled note you wrote when you were mad. Every bit of you that felt real. It’s borderline hoarder behavior, but also? It’s devotion.
❥ The “I Cook When I’m Sad” Pattern
Their world’s falling apart, but suddenly everyone has banana bread. It’s not about food—it’s about control, about creating something warm when everything else is cold. And they won’t say it out loud, but they're asking, “Will you stay?”
❥ The “I Practice Conversations in the Mirror” Secret
Before big moments, hard talks, or just answering the phone. They're rehearsing being okay. They're trying to be the version of themselves people expect. That’s not weakness—it’s survival wrapped in performance art.
❥ The “I Fix Other People’s Problems to Ignore My Own” Reflex
Everyone calls them “strong,” but no one notices how fast they redirect. “How are you doing though?” they ask, one heartbeat after breaking down. Let your reader see how exhaustion wears a smile.
❥ The “I Never Miss A Birthday” Rule
Even for people who forgot theirs. Even for exes. It’s not about being remembered—it’s about being someone who remembers. That’s character.
❥ The “I Clean When I Feel Powerless” Mechanism
That sparkling sink? Not about hygiene. That’s grief control. That’s despair in a Clorox wipe. Let it speak volumes in the silence of a spotless room.
❥ The “I Pretend I Don’t Need Help” Lie
They say, “I’m fine” like it’s a full stop. But their hands shake when they think no one’s looking. Let your other characters notice. Let someone care, even when they don’t ask for it.
❥ The “I Watch People When They’re Not Watching Me” Curiosity
Not in a creepy way. In a poet’s way. In a “who are you when no one’s clapping” way. They love the in-between moments: laughter in elevators, fidgeting before speeches. That's who they are—observers, not performers.
We teach history like it's a work of fiction where the characters act the way they do because they were written that way. And not like the real world with real people who were just as human as us and had reasons to act the way they do. And that the same mistakes and foibles they had could happen to us too.
And even this history is woefully undertaught. People learn it to memorize the events of the story and then forget about it. They don't learn to comprehend it, they don't learn to learn from it.
This will be a long story, but settle in, because this is important.
I was fortunate enough to have some great teachers growing up, in a small, fairly well-funded school system (and during times when everyone still agreed that fascism was bad). In 8th grade, our school had an interdisciplinary unit for about a month focusing solely on the Holocaust. Every class taught something related to it, even math. For a month, we read horrifying stories and watched documentaries and did research assignments on the Holocaust. By the end, any one of us would have said we were experts on the subject.
And at the very end, our entire grade (about 100 kids) was broken into four groups, and we were told that as a reward for all our hard work on the Holocaust unit, we were going to compete for a trip to Disney World. Only one team could go, but the entire team would get to travel there and spend a few days in the park, all expenses paid.
The competition was simple: the group with the most team spirit would win. We were instructed to come up with a team name, a catchy slogan, and a logo (something simple and easy to draw). We were allowed to prove our team spirit however we wanted. That was it. That was all of the instructions. The competition would last a week, and short of stopping physical violence, the teachers stepped back and let us have at it.
It was terrifying.
At first, everyone just hung up posters in the halls and cheerfully recited their slogan whenever the teachers were watching. Within a few days, posters were being torn down and shredded. Verbal fights were breaking out in the hallways. It wasn't enough to say your team was the best, everyone had somehow decided. You also had to prove that everyone else's team was inferior. People started making up lies and gossip, saying that everyone in a particular group was lazy or ugly or smelly or what have you (we were 13). Slurs were thrown around. (Again, we were 13.)
By the final day, the groups were marching down the halls in formation, shouting their slogan in unison. Shouting slander against the other groups. The floor was covered in tattered paper.
I was shy and introverted and weird and unpopular and mostly stayed out of it. But those images are burned into my memory. These kids had turned into vicious monsters, all for a stupid school project.
The teachers had us march down the hallway to the auditorium to announce the results of the competition. The groups were little armies now. Most students marched in lockstep, shouting their slogans. We were seated together in our groups. The teachers dimmed the lights, quieted us down, and the teacher in charge of this whole project said that before he announced the winners, he had something to share with us about the person who was responsible for this entire competition. He turned on the projector and displayed a portrait of Hitler.
Everyone lost their minds. Kids were booing and throwing things. We knew that Hitler was a Bad Guy.
The teacher calmed us back down, and then explained that there was no trip to Disney World, and the fact that not one student questioned for a moment that such a massively expensive and complicated prize would be granted for such a silly competition was honestly kind of disappointing. This entire week, he said, was our final exam. The final exam for the Holocaust unit.
We had spent a month learning about this. About how this "bad guy" inspired a whole hell of a lot of people to march in lockstep shouting slogans and plastering their symbol all over everything. That one bad guy had told them that they were special, and other groups were trying to take away what was rightfully theirs for being the best, and they ultimately got extremely violent. We had learned all about the Hitler Youth and the SS and book burnings and, of course, the concentration camps. We'd all read the Diary of Anne Frank. We'd been marinating in this information for a month, in all of our classes.
But we hadn't learned. We hadn't really understood what they were trying to teach us. Not that this happened. But that this happens. It can happen very easily, especially if people aren't watching out for it.
The kids were furious. They shouted that this wasn't fair, that we were only following instructions. The teachers had lied to us. They had told us to do this, and now they were mad at us for following directions?
He was ready for this, of course. Calming us back down again, he pointed out that all they'd done is tell us to give ourselves a name, a slogan, a symbol, and demonstrate "team spirit." That was literally it. No one told us to rip posters down. No one told us to march in the hallways. No one told us to spread rumors and shout insults. No one told us to fight each other.
They didn't have to.
All it takes to get people to behave this way is to tell them that their group is special, they deserve good things, but the good things aren't there because those other people are taking them from you.
The Nazis were not uniquely evil people. They were just encouraged to demonstrate their team spirit. And there were no teachers to stop it from getting violent. Because the person encouraging them wanted things to get violent.
The Holocaust was not the story of Hitler the Bad Guy. He was there, and he was responsible for a lot, but that wasn't the point. Germany during the Holocaust wasn't suddenly, by total accident, full of evil people.
It was just full of people like us.
This time, it just was a lie about Disney World and a week of chaos. But if we didn't watch out, the next time fascism started to rise, we would get swept up on the wrong side of it. We had just proven that we would. We'd be too swept up in making sure that our special group got the prize they deserved to notice that we were being lied to about the prize in the first place.
That could happen. If we weren't careful. If we forgot the lesson we'd just learned.
After he'd let the horror and shame and embarrassment and indignation of that week sink in properly, he reassured us that it wasn't our fault. The point wasn't for us to prove that we understood the lesson of the Holocaust. It wasn't actually a test after all, it was our final lesson. The most important lesson.
He'd known that this test would go this way, because it always did. He did this every year. He said in all his years of teaching, only one student, one student, had ever questioned it. Pulled him aside in the hallway and said straightforwardly that whatever was going on was messed up and he wanted no part of it.
And you know what? That is how you teach history. You give students the facts of what happened. And then you show them how easily it can happen again.
Sadly, most schools don't have the resources for this sort of thing, and these days they'd probably not be allowed to run this little experiment. But I'm extremely grateful to that teacher, grateful that I was part of that experience. It was harrowing, and it made me and a lot of other people vigilant for the rest of my life in a way I know I would not have been otherwise.
It was over 35 years ago now and it still makes me emotional to think about.
Most people never got to have that experience, to properly learn that lesson. But at least I can pass the story on to you. And you can pass it on to others. Because if you think you would have acted differently, that you would have seen through the ruse, think again.
Teaching history requires such a broad high level picture of trends and an up close look at specific events and the ability to weave the two together that it’s no wonder we come up short.
Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand.
You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper
And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”
So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for
And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth
And yeah
Today’s lesson in Please Don’t Delete Your Fanfic:
After I watched the BSG miniseries last week I remembered “Man, I read that fic ages ago I really liked. What was the title? Who was the author? It was a multichapter. I just remember this one line. And that I liked it.”
I went on an FFN deep dive and despaired because I couldn’t find anything like the fic I wanted. Well, it HAS been 20ish years. Maybe the author moved on and scrubbed everything. Finally I searched by word count and publish date range and found the story. And blew through the whole thing again during work breaks over the weekend. And smiled as I remembered those “old days” of reading FFN on the computer when I should have been doing homework (hey, it was my senior year of high school, I was over everything).
No matter how old your fic is, it’s never forgotten. Someone, somewhere, remembers. They may not have thought about it in half a lifetime, but one day they might want to read it again. So if you find yourself thinking “I’m gonna delete this, it’s so old, nobody’s reading it” please don’t. There’s at least one person out there reading it. Your fic brings joy to at least one person. Don’t take that away.
Anyway here’s the fic in question. It’s pretty darn good, especially if you enjoy burying the Adama men under more trauma they don’t really need.
Since this fic is from the days before tags and warnings, warning for discussion of suicide.
The 5 Types of Lines We Use to Craft Stories (and How to Use Them to Reveal Character)
Recently I was listening to a lecture from #1 New York Times best-selling author Brandon Sanderson where he listed four different kinds of lines we use to write stories--and while I knew each type existed, I had never really thought of listing them out and talking about them, and as I considered that, I also thought of another type he didn't mention.
When it comes to actually writing a story (on a line-by-line level), you really only have five elements to do that with. And one of the differences between a beginning writer and a professional-level writer, is that a professional-level writer will convey more than what the lines are saying on the page--they'll convey more than the text itself. In contrast, a beginning writer often uses more words than necessary to convey concepts that the audience already understands. So while a professional writer tends to write text jam-packed with meaning, a beginning writer tends to write long-winded text with little meaning.
As an example of how to bring more meaning to text, I'm going to cover how each type of line can be used to reveal character (in part because this is what Sanderson does in his lecture). Beginning writers tend to write whole passages of introspection in the opening where nothing really happens--usually in an effort to convey character. But in reality, every kind of line can be used to reveal character nearly all the time. You don't have to bring the story to a grinding halt to do it--as long as you know how to do it.
So let's go through the five types of lines we have in our arsenal.
Dialogue
Dialogue is speech between two or more characters, and it's set off by quotation marks.
Experienced writers know that often what is not said, and the way it's not, conveys just as much, if not more than what the dialogue says itself. This is often where subtext happens. Furthermore, the more intense the feelings a character experiences, the more likely they are to speak indirectly about them--usually.
Dialogue is also used to convey most characters' voices. Voice is what the character talks about and how the character talks about it.
What the character talks about + How she talks about it = Voice
It's worth pointing out that what a character talks about conveys what the character is thinking about.
For example, in Lord of the Rings, Hobbits often talk about food, because that is what they are thinking about, because they eat more food than most people. They also talk differently than most people.
Dialogue can be used to convey what a relationship is like, and deliver information to the audience.
In short, it can be used to convey more than just what is said.
Here's an example of dialogue that conveys what's not said, by touching on strong feelings indirectly (creating subtext); that conveys character voice; and that conveys a relationship.
"I wonder if we'll ever be put into songs or tales," Sam said.
Frodo turned. "What?"
"I wonder if people will ever say, 'Let's hear about Frodo and the Ring.' And they'll say 'Yes, that's one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn't he, Dad?' 'Yes, my boy, the most famousest of Hobbits. And that's saying a lot.'"
Frodo continued walking. "You've left out one of the chief characters--Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam." He turned to Sam. "Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam."
"Now Mr. Frodo, you shouldn't make fun; I was being serious."
"So was I."
You can learn more about dialogue in my Writing Tip Index (there is certainly more than what I can cover in here).
Description
Description is used to convey the concrete world to the audience. Usually this relates to setting, but characters also get described. Imagery is text that appeals to the five senses: sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. Some people add additional senses--like a sense of time and space.
As human beings, we rely on our sense of sight a lot, and that is often what writers use the most--they'll describe what the street looks like or what a character is wearing. But unlike film or video games, short stories and novels allow more opportunities to appeal to touch, smell, and taste. It's easier for us to describe texture and temperature, for example.
Imagery is important in immersing the audience into the story, so they feel like they are there, experiencing what the character is experiencing. In many writing classes, imagery is one of the first things writers are taught. This is because beginning writers often write in abstract ways, and description forces the abstract into something concrete, which is more meaningful to the reader.
But description can do more than simply convey the concrete world. Sometimes it can be used to convey a sense of history about the setting or even worldbuilding. It can almost always convey something about a character. As writers, we should strive to pick the details that convey more information than themselves--we want to pick the right details. For example, a character who is wearing a shirt that has grease stains tells us more about that person than a character in a plain white shirt.
In most stories, the narration is in the viewpoint of a character (most often the protagonist). This means that what is described and how conveys how the viewpoint character views the world. For example, a dentist may notice and describe people's teeth more than another character. And if the story were written from a Hobbit's point of view, they may use food for metaphors more than most characters. Of course, there are some cases where the narration zooms out from the viewpoint during descriptions, but generally speaking, much of the time, the way something is described will convey the viewpoint character.
Beginning writers often write descriptions that feel static and stagnant. This can be overcome by creating a sense of change or motion in the way the description is written.
Below is an example of description from The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, which is told from the point of view of Death.
The sky was like soup, boiling and stirring. In some places, it was burned. There were black crumbs, and pepper, streaked across the redness.
Earlier, kids had been playing hopscotch there, on the street that looked like oil-stained pages. When I arrived, I could still hear the echoes. The feet tapping the road. The children-voices laughing, and the smiles like salt, but decaying fast.
Then, bombs. . . .
Within minutes, mounds of concrete and earth were stacked and piled. The streets were ruptured veins. Blood streamed till it was dried on the road, and the bodies were stuck there, like driftwood after a flood.
They were glued down, every last one of them. A packet of souls. . . .
Yes, the sky was now a devastating home-cooked red.
Blocking (AKA "Action" or "Beat")
The term "blocking" is borrowed from play performances. Blocking is just about anything an actor does that isn't dialogue: where they stand, where they look, how they interact with the setting, how they move across the stage, how close they are to what, how they interact with props.
In short stories and novels, this is a line that conveys action. It's also called a "beat." However, I usually avoid that term because "beat" is an ambiguous term that can mean different things in different contexts in the writing world.
The actions a character takes will often convey something about that character and his current state. For example, in a conversation, as an argument gets more intense, a character may invade the other's personal space. If one character suddenly says something that makes the other uncomfortable, the latter may take a step back. If one character is vulnerable, whether the second draws closer or steps away can convey a lot.
Of course, you can use setting and props to do the same thing. As an argument gets intense, one character throws something at the other. If someone is uncomfortable, she might put something (an island, a couch, a car, a teeter-totter) between them. If she's feeling vulnerable, she might "hide" or "block" herself by getting a blanket, picking up a book to look at, or turning away from the speaker to pretend interest in a rose bush.
Even in a scene where blocking is the primary focus (building an invention, competing in America Ninja Warrior, forging a sword, hunting), how the character interacts with the setting and objects can convey more than itself--how tightly he holds a screwdriver, how sweaty her hands are against a climbing wall, the way he beats the metal, how many shots she shoots.
Some character take repeated actions, and that conveys something too. In BBC's Sherlock, the fact that Sherlock stabs the mantle whenever he gets frustrated is something specific to him. It helps establish who he is. And actually, that fact becomes specifically important in season four--when we understand that he, someone who is supposedly not driven by emotion, sometimes manifests more raw emotion than any one else.
You can learn more about blocking in my article about it here.
Here is an example of blocking from Brisingr by Christopher Paolini.
Taking the pieces of hard and soft brightsteel she had decided to use, Rhunon placed them into the forge. At the elf's request, Saphira heated the steel, opening her jaws only a fraction of an inch so that the blue and white flames that poured from her mouth remained focused in a narrow stream and did not spill over into the rest of the workshop. . . .
Rhunon had Eragon remove the brightsteel from the torrent of flames with a pair of tongs once the metal began to glow a cherry red. She laid it on her anvil and, with a series of quick blows from a sledgehammer, flattened the lumps of metal into plates that were no more than a quarter of an inch thick. . . . As she finished with each plate, Rhunon dropped it into a nearby trough of brine.
Introspection
Like Sanderson, I've waited to cover introspection until now because beginning writers often overuse it, which has led some in the writing world to regularly tell others to rarely use it.
Nothing can quite kill a story's pacing like a big hunk of introspection, except, of course, its cousin, the info-dump. The reason for this is that the more time we spend reading a character's thoughts, the less immediacy the story has, which means the less the audience cares about it. Often beginning writers put in whole paragraphs or even pages of introspection in addition to info-dumps--killing the pacing and readers' interests even more. Some writing instructors will tell you that you shouldn't spend more than 20% of the novel in a character's thoughts. But yet in some successful stories, this rule is completely disregarded.
Introspection as a tool isn't a problem, and it's one of the most obvious ways to convey character. Few things are more personal than private thoughts. But as I stated in the opening, beginning writers tend to write a lot of introspection that conveys very little. Instead, we want the writing to be more condensed, with nearly any introspection conveying more than what's on the page. With introspection, usually less is more.
Most beginning writers will use introspection to address the past. In reality, introspection is usually more effective when the character is thinking about the future--which hasn't happened yet. Have your character think about what he fears or hopes could happen. This helps draw the audience in, because they'll then want to see if what could happen actually does happen.
Introspection is basically internal dialogue/monologue, which means it's another opportunity to convey the viewpoint character's voice. Because . . .
What the character thinks about + How he thinks about it = Voice (again)
How thoughts are actually handled on the page will depend on what's called point of view penetration--how deep the text goes into the character's head. In third person, direct thoughts may be set off in italics (or underlined if italics isn't available). But in third person or first person, the text itself may take on the thoughts and attitudes of the character, in which case, there are no italics (or underlining).
You can learn more about writing introspection in my articles, "How to Write Excellent Introspection" and "Breaking Writing Rules Right: 'Never Open with Introspection.'"
Here is a passage of introspection from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling. Notice how the passage includes anticipating the future and also conveys character.
Harry wished his scar would burn and show him Voldemort's thoughts, because for the first time ever, he and Voldemort were united in wanting the very same thing. . . . Hermione would not like that idea, of course . . . . But then, she did not believe . . . Xenophilius had been right, in a way . . . Limited. Narrow. Close-minded. The truth was that she was scared of the idea, especially the Resurrection Stone . . .
It was nearly dawn when he remembered Luna, alone in a cell in Azkaban. . . . If only there was a way of getting a better wand. . . . And the desire for the Elder Wand, the Deathstick, the unbeatable, invincible, swallowed him once more . . .
It was as though a flame had been lit inside him that nothing, not Hermione's flat disbelief nor Ron's persistent doubts, could extinguish. . . . Harry's belief and longing for the Hallows consumed him so much that he felt quite isolated from the other two and their obsession with the Horcruxes.
"Obsession?" said Hermione . . . when Harry was careless enough to use the word one evening . . . "We're not the ones with an obsession, Harry!"
Summary
This is the fifth type of line I would add to the list, because sometimes there are lines that are neither dialogue, description, blocking, nor introspection, but simply summary.
Summary condenses time, explains through telling, tends to be more abstract, and may swiftly change characters and setting. In fact, it may not even mention a specific character or setting.
Use summary when the audience needs to know the fact that something happened, but it's not important for them to experience it. Also use summary when you need to cover a broader length of time in a shorter amount of space. Summary can be great for scene transitions--usually when what happened between the scenes is worth mentioning, but not worth dramatizing.
Summary is important in providing context for the reader, so may be used to set up a situation or to provide additional background information. For example, you may summarize a short backstory to explain a character's current behavior.
For most stories, summary is usually best kept to a minimum because it is closely related to telling (as opposed to showing). However, a story with no summary will more often than not have problems.
Like description and introspection, what and how the viewpoint character summarizes may reveal more about him or her. With that said, however, summary is probably more likely to be plain and straightforward than the other line types.
You can learn more about summary in my article, "Scene vs. Summary: When to Use Which."
Here is an example of summary from Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.
Mother came home and commiserated with Ender about the monitor. Father came home and kept saying it was such a wonderful surprise, they had such fantastic children that the government told them to have three, and now the government didn't want to take any of them after all, so here they were with three, they still had a Third . . . until Ender wanted to scream at him, I know I'm a Third, I know it, if you want I'll go away so you don't have to be embarrassed in front of everybody.
Mixing the Types
While you may have passages that are purely dialogue, purely description, purely blocking, purely introspection, or purely summary, most of the time, you'll probably be writing lines of all types within a given segment.
For example, in my excerpt from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, you may have noticed that introspection, summary, and dialogue were all used.
Here is an example that uses all five types of lines from Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson.
She still found longer hair an annoyance, however. She washed it, combing out the tangles and knots, wondering how the court women could stand hair that went all the way down their backs. How long must they spend combing and primping beneath a servant's care? Vin's hair hadn't even reached her shoulders yet, and she was loath to let it get longer. It would fly about and whip her face when she jumped, not to mention provide her foes with something to grab on to.
Once finished bathing, she returned to her room, dressed in something practical, and made her way downstairs. Apprentices bustled in the workroom and housekeepers worked upstairs, but the kitchen was quiet. Clubs, Dockson, Ham, and Breeze sat at the morning meal. They looked up as Vin entered.
"What?" Vin asked grumpily, pausing in the doorway. The bath had soothed her headache somewhat, but it still pulsed slightly in the back of her head.
The four men exchanged glances. Ham spoke first. "We were just discussing the status of the plan, now that both our employer and our army are gone."
Breeze raised an eyebrow. "Status? That's an interesting way of putting it, Hammond. I would have said 'unfeasibility' instead."
Clubs grunted his assent, and the four turned to her, apparently waiting to see her reaction.
Why do they care so much what I think? she thought, walking into the room and taking a chair.
ok ok listen. mythal and solas's fucked up relationship puts everything about solavellan into context. how hyper-aware he was of the unequal power dynamic in their relationship, his guilt over his own desire for her and how he pulls away every time, the overwhelming feeling of falling in love with a god(dess), he tells mythal "i would follow you anywhere" and if lavellan begs him in trespasser to let her follow he refuses her. "i would not have you see what i become" and "there is only death on this journey". he will not drag her into his mess the way mythal dragged him into hers. he will not pollute her from her purpose the way mythal polluted him. he will not allow her the guilt and blood on her hands because he was her. he has been in her exact position, yearning for a god's affections and willing to follow them anywhere. and he loves her too much to treat her the way he was treated. of course he cannot be with her. of course he has to leave her. and he can only allow her to join him when he is freed of his burden and his path changes to one of atonement. of course she can join him in his atonement, even if it is ugly. because it will not sully her hands with blood. he can only accept her love and support when he knows it will not come at the cost of her morality and the good person she is. everything he does to her, even the betrayal, is to avoid subjecting her to the exact same thing mythal subjected him to.
Stakes are key in rounding out characters, because if there is nothing at risk, then what the character does, doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t carry any significance, because it doesn’t change any outcomes.
What a character chooses to do when there are high stakes, reveals what that character values most.
Behind the jokes and badassness, Captain Marvel is a fascinating character to me, because of how death follows her.
She causes an explosion. That explosion, which gives her powers and her immortality, canonically kills her. The Kree Empire resurrects her and makes her as Kree as they can. She shares Yon-Rogg's blood and his life, she's his creation, she's his victim, she's the one who causes his downfall, she's the one that destroys the system, the society, the planet that allowed her to be abused.
It's the Kree that see her as a killer and Annihilator. She's a monster of their own making, but it influences every species and planet she touches. Her victories cause death and her mistakes cause more death. Carol's triumph, the death of the Supreme Intelligence, results in the death of probably millions of Kree, and by consequence, almost causes the death of Hala's star.
"I'm only human" Carol says, before killing the Empire that is the reason that she can't ever be human again.
"We'll be back for the weapon," Ronan says, but that weapon will kill everything he stands for.
"Your life began the day it nearly ended," The Supreme Intelligence says, coldly, calculatingly. It's an AI. It doesn't have a good concept of death. It doesn't fully grasp that Carol had genuinely been killed that day, because she's still in front of it. Carol kills it.
"Death seems to follow you," Dar-Benn says, before she causes an explosion with the bangles, trying to defeat Carol. The explosion kills Dar-Benn.
Death follows Carol. Death follows Carol! Mar-Vell is dead. Maria is dead. Talos is dead. Soren is dead. Ronan is dead. Minn-Erva is dead. Korath is dead. Dar-Benn is dead. Yon-Rogg is, probably, dead. The Supreme Intelligence is dead. Natasha is dead. Tony is dead.
The only people in Carol's life who aren't dead are Kamala, Monica, Yan, Valkyrie, and Fury.
She watches helplessly as Dar-Benn almost murders Kamala after Kamala tries to save Dar-Benn's life, tries to find a way to solve the violence without death.
She watches helplessly as Monica gets torn into another reality, which for all she knows, she could die in. The tear in reality that was caused by Dar-Benn's death.
She tries to hide Yan's existence from her friends and tries to warn him and his people. The Kree soldiers aren't fighting to maim, they're fighting to kill. He escapes death by his own fighting skills and the fact that the Kree would rather focus on killing Carol than him.
Valkyrie and Carol interact once, and she only calls when she needs help after a fight, not during. Think about it. Valkyrie and the Bifrost could have helped the trio enormously. But Carol doesn't call until the fights are over. It would be very easy for a regular Asgardian warrior to die compared to superhumans.
And Fury... have you seen how often Fury comes close to dying? He's alive from skill and luck. He is lucky that he isn't dead.
Captain Marvel is so, so fascinating. Her story begins with her own death, and the more it goes on, the more death happens around her. Nobody is safe. She causes almost all of them, even the ones of her friends - not directly, but through the consequences of her actions. The consequences of her victories and mistakes. The consequences of her anger and revenge, her power and powerlessness. It is caused by both the Human and Kree sides of her, by both Carol and Vers, Captain Marvel and the Annihilator.
Carol is immortal. She can't die. And death follows her anyway.
