i'm Alex (they/them). i care about you. i love plants (i run bplant.org), questioning things, and discussing deep ideas. i love talking to people, but read my pinned post before DMing!
i am nonbinary (agenderflux), vaguely transfem and gender-non-conforming, and use they/them pronouns.
i'm neurodivergent. i have sensory issues and am generally weird.
i'm married and you can read more about my boundaries about our relationship below.
my blog is off-the-wall and inconsistent. cute animal photos, stupid memes, nature pics, wall-of-text commentary are all likely.
i am friendly and like to chat. My phone notifications are always off and i mostly use Tumblr at the computer. i am inconsistent at responding. i might engage immediately sometimes, and take days to get back to you others. please don't take it personally, i still care about you!
i am WAAAY over 18. read why my age isn't in my bio and why i don't demand or even encourage people putting ages in bios.
Some boundaries:
i appreciate mass likes / reblogs and love engagement on my old posts. don't be shy!
i don't mind being called girl or guy but dislike being called woman or man. i care less about pronouns and language and more about gendered assumptions. i.e. if you are thinking "Because you are (female/male/nonbinary) you must..." keep these thoughts to yourself and maybe consider working through them because they're probably untruthful. People are diverse.
i like talking about sex, and i like being given compliments about my body, but i do not want to hear about any sexual fantasy involving me, nor do i want you to ask me if i fantasize about you. this both oversteps a boundary of my marriage and i still usually didn't like hearing this type of thing even back when was single. i don't roleplay or send explicit pics and please don't ask.
i am sex positive and anti-censorship, but not seeking porn. i may engage with a more explicit picture on your blog, but please do not send me any explicit or pictures by DM. i may have liked the pic in spite of the fact it was explicit, not because of it, and similarly for following you if your blog posts NSFW content. or i may have wanted to signal my support for your sex positivity or body positivity. Me liking your post or following you is NOT consent to receive such pics by DM.
i do not support violence except in self-defense, and i may unfollow or distance myself if your blog advocates for such. This includes violence used for causes i agree with, for instance, i oppose far-right extremism, but I don't support "punch a nazi" rhetoric. Want to know why? Read this post. Any other violence in posts is not intended seriously.
i don't tolerate negative generalizations directed at groups of people. i don't care whether the group is privileged or not, it always ends up harming marginalized people. Read this post for my explanation. I'm especially sensitive to how negative overgeneralizations about men can harm trans and neurodivergent people. If you post such negativity and I value our connection, I will challenge it. Otherwise I will unfollow or block you. I don't want people in my life who voice this sort of negativity.
You do not get to tell me what my experience is or what my intentions are. Nor do you get to tell other people this nor do I want to listen to you making these kind of statements about others. This is especially true if you are speculating about someone having negative intentions. I will react similarly to this point as to the point above.
Don't ask me for money, to buy content, or to reblog your fundraiser post if I do not know you. I like supporting people, but I am not here to buy content, and I'm wary of scammers and selective about who I support. I only support people I know well. If we are mutuals, feel free to reach out for financial advice. I love helping people improve their financial situation. If you want to support me, visit bplant.org and donate to that project; you will help support education about and protection of North American native plants and the ecosystems that depend on them!
Don't message me or follow me without having engaged with my blog, especially if you are an empty or new blog. You will get blocked and reported as spam. Fill out your blog, make some posts, engage with my blog. And if you message me, please tell me how you found me and what made you want to message me.
I think that pretty much covers it, but I can update this if more issues arise!
Some tags:
selfie - pics of me
nonbinary - mostly my commentary on gender and being nonbinary
sustainability - commentary and practical tips
financial advice - i'm actually pretty good with money and I love help people get better at managing money, so you can find a lot of tips in here.
I use so many different tags and there's no way I can remember all of them on my blog. If you explore my blog you'll discover more and can find interlinked posts that way!
please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.
you can also wear other sun-protective gear and for light sun exposure, use it in place of sunscreen, and for heavy exposure, combine it with sunscreen:
wide-brimmed hats, ideally UV-rated dark fabrics. your nose, shoulders if exposed, and back of your neck are often the most likely parts of your body to burn
long-sleeved shirts which can be loose-fitting in hot weather. again, dark colors.
loose-fitting long pants or long, flowing skirts, again, in dark enough colors.
shoes. or socks. even with sandals. the tops of your feet WILL burn and typically will burn much faster and worse than your ankles and legs, because the flat orientation captures more sun.
looking fashionable or aesthetic is nice and all but not getting skin cancer and not spending days of pain from itchy, peeling burned skin is much better
when it's hot you can still find light, breathable fabrics. cotton and linen are usually best. dark clothing that fits loosely and is open at the bottom can draw cool air circulation up through your outfit, so you can enjoy thorough sun protection without getting too hot
got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"
Yesterday I ignored my cell phone and email ALL DAY. It was magical. Texts and emails came. The notifications piled up. Meanwhile I read a book, did some gardening, played with my dog, watched a movie... and it was FINE.
No one got mad at me.
No one died because I failed to answer a message immediately.
Nothing bad at all happened.
I just had a day to myself, unbeholden to anyone else. I cut off my own accessibility and it was just fucking fine.
i love that discord doesn't tell you if someone's read your messages. like genuinely. normalize others not needing every second of your time right away. normalize taking time to formulate a proper answer. normalize this.
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
my dad worked in HR for a big company before he retired. they offered summer internships for the children of employees, which I did for a few years during college. the pay wasn’t high, but you still did basically the same tasks as a full-time employee in your department
and it was WILD
I’d finish a task in a day, only to be told that was my task for the week. my boss was blown away and raved about my efficiency. which was very nice but like…dude. you gave me about 6 hours worth of work, and that’s at a leisurely pace with an hour-long lunch break. why are you so impressed?
eventually I started messing around on my phone for hours to drag the tasks out longer, because I felt bad when my boss had to scramble to find things for me to do. I got like ten fanfic chapters written per month that way
meanwhile, at my last retail job, I got in trouble for talking to vendors at the adjoining stalls during slow periods
the reasons behind these things are not about productivity or output, they are about power and control, exercised through a system of social status.
the higher pay jobs are easier because they are higher-status.
the low-pay jobs are harder and the workers are micromanaged more not to increase their productivity, but as a form of harassment and abuse, because they are low-status.
systems of status in workplaces can play out in different ways. unions are not a guarantee that they will go away. many unionized workers have the same system of status and the new, young employees are the ones who get harassed, like a form of hazing, whereas the more senior employees get higher pay and easier work, often through first priority in pick of work, or in other times through guaranteed hours while less-senior employees might not even have guaranteed hours, and are most vulnerable to layoffs.
i’m all about people getting paid more for doing more work and better work. i’m all about markets for labor and people being able to demand more pay when they do better work.
but like…the whole idea that we have a “labor market” is a bit of a lie. it’s not really a market. it’s a system of social status and privilege and power.
having a good job is about having power and privilege.
having a shitty job or no job is about lacking that power and privilege.
i’m not 100% sure how to fix this stuff because tbh most people in our society seem to accept it without question. like even a lot of “leftist communist/socialist” activist types don’t question this, they just push for unionization like it’s gonna solve all the problems, and it does solve some, but it creates others and it often leaves the same system of social status in place, it just plays out in a different way.
i do think talking about this stuff is a start. like if you can’t talk frankly about this stuff being a thing, and being a problem (frankly, being disgusting and appalling and against the very values our society is founded on) then we’re never gonna fix it. so like, let’s start by doing that.
and no, i’m not totally anti-business and anti-markets here. abolishing social status would actually do wonders for business and markets, because for once people could get paid for what they actually do instead of just having some privileged parasites skimming off all the money without doing much work. businesses would get a lot more efficient, a lot of goods and services would become better and cheaper, and a lot of people would become happier (because there are always more low-status people than high-status people in these systems, that’s always how it works.)
