The Life and Times of a Perpetually Confused Angel
Author: @baileys101
Artist: @beansprean
Rating: General Audiences
Word Count: 6,000
Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Warnings: none
Tags: Character study, friendship, established relationship, angst, humour
Summary: Angels were never omniscient, nor invincible. They were powerful, yes — radiant, formidable, capable of reshaping worlds — but they were also bound. Born fully formed, denied free will, denied the right to question, they existed in a state of eternal servitude.
Castiel was no exception.
He was meant to love only the divine glory. Yet somewhere along the endless stretch of his existence, he learned to love something else entirely.
Humanity.
His choices made his siblings despise him. They punished him repeatedly, stripping away memories, feelings, and thoughts that strayed from the collective. Each time he returned as if newly born — obedient, perfect.
But it never lasted.
It never could.
With every mission, every order, the questions inevitably came.
When he was ordered to raise the Righteous Man from Hell, every angel in Heaven knew it would end in disaster. But Castiel had been chosen by God Himself to lead the invasion, and no one dared question His will.
No one — not even God — anticipated the strength of Castiel’s attachment to the man destined to be Michael’s vessel.
Sneak Peek: The six weeks he spent alone in the bunker, unable to locate Sam and Dean, nearly broke him. Without their presence, he was bereft. The pain of their absence was constant and bewildering. He couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t compartmentalise — something he had once excelled at.
Because for all that he had fallen, for all his friends assumed, Castiel still didn’t have a soul. He didn’t have the “equipment to care,” as Dean once said, to manage emotions the way humans did.
So when he finally found them again — and learned the relief would be temporary, that their deal with Billie would strip away the calm he’d rebuilt — he couldn’t bear it.
“Cas, what have you done?”
Shaking inside and out, angel blade trembling in his hand, he answered, “What had to be done.”
It was his purpose: to do what was needed, regardless of the consequences. In this case, it meant Mary Winchester lived. She had another chance to know her sons — something she’d never had before. Whether that was good for her wasn’t his concern. It mattered to Dean. And to Castiel, Dean was the one who mattered.
So he said it plainly.
“You mean too much to me.” He would not allow everything he had sacrificed — the destruction he’d caused in Heaven and on Earth — to be for nothing.
“You’re welcome.”
They stared at each other for a long, heavy moment. When Dean didn’t respond, Castiel lowered his blade, walked past all three Winchesters, and got into the car. Dean was the last to join him, retaking his place in the back seat as Mary started the engine.
No one spoke. The rest of the journey passed in silence. But Dean’s hand rested, palm open, on the seat between them the entire way home.
Posting Date: June 25
