[bannertanks]

[moveslikekeithrichards]

when you save alarms for specific things but then you just keep reusing them. like sure wake me up at the chocolate milk alarm, what do i care

[zombiepatch]

there's no such thing as a medicaid freeloader. everyone needs healthcare. it does not matter if you don't believe someone has a valid reason to not be working or in school- they are still a human being and human beings need healthcare. even if someone IS this strawman ""just lazy"" unemployed person, they deserve healthcare. sorry but i do not believe that the right to medical treatment without financial ruin is predicated on someone's "usefulness" to society. it's depressing that this is apparently too radical a belief.

[389]

[strandnreyes]

“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again

[junior-theabgshark]

[paranormal-taters]

[lunarblazes]

after a lifetime of hearing about aragorn but not reading the books or watching the movies, genuinely nothing could have prepared me for his actual introduction. the hobbits picked this man out of a dumpster. he is a textbook softspoken angst prince and he is covered in dirt and he probably smells so bad. he’s the coolest man alive and is so casual about it. his number one skill is Knowing Where They Are and his number two skill is Having A Horrible Destiny That Torments Him. tolkien got it in one i’m afraid aragorn son of arathorn you are the guy of all time

[thealexandriaarchives]

Pour one out for all the Italians who are about to learn about deep dish pizza

[elenazamos]

[evergreen-femme]

when i was a young boy i had the philosophy of ‘balls are the boobs of the penis so its ok that i want to suck on them it doesn’t make me gay” and tbh i was cooking

[tastylemonbread]

to see a marching band

[fjordfocused]

introducing Chicago style pizza into the center of Rome is what Christ would’ve wanted

[jessebloom]

it’s like they say, the lord be with you. and with the chicago cubs

[libraford]

No, I am not 'hoarding craft supplies.' I am sourcing materials for a very big project that will be revealed to me at a later date- perhaps in a dream.

[isawken]

hey man. nice regional dialect. mind if i apply some baseless assumptions about your personhood to it? i was also gonna prescribe morality to it as well. if that’s cool with you

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[daisyofwaterdeep]

had a dream I went to a hozier concert and mr. hozier stopped singing and pointed to me in the crowd and asked me to go get him some extra crispy tofu and a blueberry shake for after the show and then the crowd passed his debit card to me and when I got it I could see his real legal name was Horace Bob-omb

[zannolin]

people often think i'm doing it for the bit but unfortunately i Am the type of guy who just says shit like "pray tell" and "indeed" and "naught but the human heart can hope to capture the moon's beauty" (that was actually about my shitty phone camera) and nobody really knows what to do when they hear those words come out of my mouth. myself included.

[bakwaaas]

I’m deficient in vitamins they haven’t even discovered yet