*using mac* i'm a sleek corporate IT milf email whisperer with a microchip on my shoulder and a motherboard of gold. the glass ceiling has been shattered. we're a family. user centered design. i am steve jobs
*using linux* i'm a freakkyy goth hacker chick about to get my dick suxxed cyber style. superuser do me and she barely GNU me. i'm ready to put my therian life on-the-line for free and open source software. rawr
every time I see a post that's like "I just think it would make more sense if jax was transmasc instead of transfem," it takes all of my willpower not to reply "you think it would 'make more sense' if the character who refuses to acknowledge that the world around her is real, rejects any opportunity to grow as a person or show even a little vulnerability, and has a Mind Construct specifically dedicated to 'dressing up in feminine clothing Ironically because then it Doesn't Count As Being A Fag' has functionally transitioned already?"
Watching in cinemas I felt quite a strong connection with Ribbit, and I had to take a while pondering why. I don't really see myself in her as we only know her literally through Jax's eyes.
In my head Ribbit's point of view sort of became a cautionary tale of attaching yourself to someone who will clearly hurt you.
Compassion and caring for others is important and leaving someone can be dreadfull because you may feel like the last pillar holding a crumbling structure of someone else's life.
Ribbit was stuck in the circus with unresolved life, attempting to form connections only to have the most important one to blow up in her face.
Now...Relating to someone who has been hurt by someone like Jax started to make sense, yet it frustrated me even more.
What about Kaufmo who was Ribbits friend before Jax got to the circus and Ragatha too, did Jax push Ribbit away so much that she no longer seeked any connection aside from that one? Finally leading us to the snow summit- which Ragatha does know about-
See it is so weird to just see Kinger, Ragatha and Kaufmo in the background of those Jax povs.
It narritively pushes them to the background even further than they already were which is a shame, cause now I've been hyperannalyzing what the other relationships in this circle even were like before Jax came in. (Let me know if you want to hear more about the headcanon side of this, ive tried to keep this as within canon as my brain allows me to)
These scenes above were all that im holding onto for dear life and trying to find the meaning and connection within it, yet after the bedroom scene everyone other than Ribbit and Jax feel unimportant and distant, even when reaching out.
Since we don't really get to see it I feel like after this scene and Jax pushing Ribbit away, any attempt at connection Ribbit would try to hold (non-exclusive to Jax) would feel empty, even if other people around her remained genuine. Cause when you feel such a strong connection with someone that then flips so quickly you start to doubt yourself and other people's intentions to a point of isolation.
See im already putting in headcanons, even though i just said I won't cause the ammount that we got is only centered in Jax's mind.
A lot of my feelings i have on Ribbit are strongly projecting (feels familliar) and i will have more thoughts regarding her in relation to the other circus members when i get to them.... its mostly Ragatha.
I feel like she would be so chill with the rest of the cast which makes me sad too.
Rip in peace Ribbit, you would've loved Abstragedy.
--
Okay might as well get my thoughts out on Jax since Ribbit story was only in relation to her and I'll probably have to mention her while annalyzing every single character except for Caine and Kinger-
I preferably use she/her pronouns with Jax going forward, however from our alive cast only Pomni is in any way aware of Jax's identity and I do think the perspectives that only see Jax as a cis man are important to be pointed out.
Jax's line from episode 6 saying people who are abstracting are not pleasant to be around taking a completely different turn from what i was expecting.
Like girl, youre the unsufferable one.
I saw the Tv glow, Iykyk
And if you don't i guess I'll tell you,
that you should watch "I saw the tv glow". But also the whole movie focuses about "already dying" and that specifically being an allegory for queerness being snuffed out by that shell we use to protect ourself from society from being hurt.
But yeah anyway I was a trans Jax truther since episode 5 and I do think it was a very important story for Gooseworx to share, a cautionary tale of chaining your own true sense of self and beating it down to the point you become a monster that pushes and hurts everyone around them.
As a trans individual I remember a time in my life where I was pushing down my identity and pushing away those who would most likely be there for me.
I'm in no way comparing myself to her though, the grave she dug is so deep I'm not going down there to get her up or i might tumble down with her.
--
Fuck it lets talk about Pomni
Within the whole series I feel like Pomni's story was about building a community, tending to connections with basically everyone in the circus. As for Kinger's mention she has adjusted the quickest out of anyone in the circus and i do think a lot of that stems from people like Ragatha, Gumigoo and Kinger (in darkness) reaching out, or letting her reach out during tough times.
Already in episode 2 she was able to trust that if she was falling down a dark hole of abstraction, she would be caught and brought back to the surface by everyone at Kaufmo's funeral.
She also build connection with someone she couldn't trust to catch her, Jax. At the point of Jax abstracting she had enough of a support system in the circus to be able to reach out to Jax and not follow in her footsteps. It still hurt her, impairing her enough that she had to use a walking caine made out of Zoobles pieces.
I do think if it wasn't for Zooble and everyone else pulling her back with all their force away from Jax, she would've abstracted there with her. And that's genuinely terrifying to me personally.
I've had theories about Pomni's self sacrifice since episode 1 and I genuinely would've never expected for it to go like that, but yay... theory secured and Pomni is okay.
But other than Jax, what exactly is that self sacrifice for, narratively?
I think its to cement that with enough of a community and a help system even the most unredeanable deserve to be able to heal.
I liked the allegory from Alex (Caine's VA) connecting abstrsction to worsening mental health and addiction rather than death. It is a nice gesture for fans to be able to create stories where with time and healing the ones that abstracted could come back. Makes me think of that scene from Arcane season 2 with the wolf dad guy. (The recovering abstraction could make some really cool designs too)
--
Hope for betterment does not equal forgiveness however. And I will talk about that in the next part where we explore Gangle, Zooble and Ragatha.
"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.
the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.
this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.
therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:
- being a cow
- being an almond
- being a woman
- being a coconut
- being in the omegaverse
- being an oat
(list is exemplary and not finite)
in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.
tadc finale spoilers. i'm not done talking about the circus show.
another thing that deeply frustrates me is the claim that gooseworx took other character's arcs and struggles, ditched them in the finale and gave them to jax... such as zooble's own gender dysphoria, and ragatha having an abusive mother.
my response is that the twist implementation of these traits into jax's characterization does not take it away from the other two-- instead, it serves to emphasize that jax always had people by her side that would've understood her if she just opened up.
all this time jax spent feeling alone when there were other people with the EXACT same struggles she had that she could've relied on but she didn't because she was too afraid to be vulnerable. worst part is that jax KNEW these things about people and chose to use it against them. instead of opening up about having weird Gender Feelings with zooble, an out trans person in the circus, she mocks their dysphoria (ie the "aren't you supposed to be complaining about your ability to change your own body or something?" line). instead of opening up to ragatha about her mom, she mocks her for it (immediately telling her her irl self probably still lives with her mom when they find out they're brain scans).
tldr gooseworx didnt reveal jax is trans + had an abusive mother in the finale bc she didnt feel like exploring those themes with zooble and ragatha anymore oh my god, she did it to drive the point home that jax's self-isolation never made sense. "trying to cope with your struggles by projecting on and lashing out on people with the same struggles is the path towards self-destruction"
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
gummygunk
tangentwithtanner
stormborns
theartofmadeline
