From every possible negative trait we have I have never found one that is not somehow traceable to low self-esteem. Stealing, lying, hurting others, jealousy, insecurity, anger, depression, violence, and every other negative action or emotion, are all in some way traceable to low self-esteem.
There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of an individual’s self-esteem the more likely that he or she will treat others with kindness, respect, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others. People who experience deep insecurities and self-doubts tend to experience other human beings as frightening and harmful. People who have little or no love of self have nothing to contribute to the world."
He was then asked: “why do self-esteem or personal goals strike some people as so bad? Why are only social goals respectable?”
"I believe the answer lies in the failure of many people to free themselves from a notion of ethics which places its vision of ‘good’ outside of the individual, which means outside… of… you. We encounter this viewpoint in many different ways in families, schools, churches, and certainly in government. In fact, almost all ethical systems that have achieved world influence have been variations on the theme of self-surrender, and self-sacrifice. Unselfishness is equated with virtue; selfishness is made a synonym of evil. In such systems the individual always becomes the victim. Twisted against him or herself, and commanded to be unselfish and service some alleged higher value… Pharaoh, King, Emperor, the tribe, the country, the family, the true faith, the race, the state, the proletariat, society, or the planet.
Think of how almost all of us were introduced to the word ‘good’… "he minds us, he behaves”; “she’s a good girl, she does what she’s told”. From an early age we’re taught that virtue consists of satisfying the expectations of others, not ourselves. Living for others is seen as the essence of morality; that those who preach it are more interested in obedience then in self-esteem. As a psychologist I have always thought this doctrine was disastrous to mental and emotional well-being.
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