And just like that, their conversation closed. Neo’s weak hands signed, too exhausted to speak once more, and alone she curled into the couch and avoided Cinder’s worried gaze by turning into the back cushions. Just like that. The walls rose between them once more, communication halted immediately.
What else could she say? Now was hardly the time to spill over apologies, beg for forgiveness she didn’t deserve. She had to let her be.
Turning, Cinder walked silently towards her room and, lingering in the door frame that led, her eyes wandered almost guiltily over her shoulders to the girl on the couch before dipping. Her mouth was so dry, and her lips remained parted to try and breathe past the crushing pain in her chest before she decided,
“If you-.. need anything, during the night, I’m just through here.” She informed to the metaphorical wall that separated the two, swallowing gently before nodding. “I don’t mind.” And then, she walked through to her room.
Days passed, each as awkward as the one previous, every one just as strained with Cinder’s desperation for forgiveness that she knew she’d never receive, and Neo, well... Who knew what Neo thought. Aside from small requests, there wasn’t much in the way of conversation.
Each day came and went, Cinder doing her best to help without being too eager, each day ended with the heart-wrenching silence between them that kept her awake at night, trying to think of a way to just show her... Prove that she wasn’t the same, that she was not a threat to the girl anymore.
Maybe it was the discomfort of trying her best and not succeeding, the stress of trying to do her best by Neo to make sure she was safe, but for the first time since Neo had arrived, night terrors plagued Cinder’s mind - always deadly and threatening, always bringing harm to the people she cared for.
Sometimes, the night terrors were memories she had never realised to be so toxic resurfacing to remind her of her past, reminding her she is never free. The name she made for herself would never let her rest; specifically, the harm she did to Neo would never allow her peace. She could never dream of being forgiven.
Trying to fight her way out of the dream, her body reacted in light movements first before taking to thrashing, like she was running, muttering and mumbling incoherently to try and dispel the terror, escape it somehow; but this time, it seemed like she was trapped in her memories, stuck in her mind, unable to escape.
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