[straightboyfriend]

beimg a manager at star bucks:

customer; excuse me sir, your employee is vaping on my latte

me: who do you think gave him the vape

customer: (i do not know what the customer would say)

[kieljamespatrick]

[kushblazer666]

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[greelin]

“she should be at the club” changed me as a person. forever

[greelin]

[bearie]

cut my life in Two pieces i share it with a friend :) 

[tartrazeen]

Friend affection Friend meeting :) share a chair when there’s not enough seating

[were--ralph]

this tweet genre is so fucking funny i need more of them

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

[titsay]

[dirtbaby2016]

its dj erectile disfunction on the beat

[dirtbaby2016]

making sure yall go hard even though i cant

[escuerzoresucitado]

[butterflypeaflowertea]

after seeing your friends for a few hours sometimes u walk away and return home with a little ball of glowing golden light in your chest

[bashircore]

This tweet has changed my life btw

[bashircore]

Here’s a guide of what I’ve determined the meanings to be

walking around - self explanatory

fellowship - hanging out with friends

deliciousness - having something tasty

transcendence - feeling that you have reached a different level of some sort; alternatively, when you do one of the other delights to the extreme and feel really good about it. (you know transcendence when it happens)

goofing - having a good laugh at smth

amelioration - working towards the betterment of something, for example, working on a skill you hope to improve

coitus - fuckin’

enthralment - becoming incredibly engaged in something, hyper focusing on something

wildcard - anything that you feel was a delight in your day that does not fit one of the above delights

[butchyena]

this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this

[foxdearr-deactivated20210115]

when edgar allan poe said “tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.” and when hozier said “i wouldn’t fall for someone i thought couldn’t misbehave.”

[dragongirltitties]

girl help they are making me do my job at work

[midwest-monster]

broadway antique market

i bought this telegram, because it’s probably the best thing i’ve ever seen.  i’m framing it.  it cost $1.