🍎

tw. mostly venting.

[myopressivedepression]

[cffeemilk]

i fucking hate myself every single part of myself i HATE IT

[cffeemilk]

i feel so empty i just want to know someone cares about me

[bihet-dragonize]

I feel like a lot of people tend to forget that the antivax movement is the result of ableism and a hatred of autistic people especially autistic children. It’s not based off of a “trend” it’s core reason for being a “thing” is because of ableism, so like…yeah make fun of antivaxers but can we please remember that they are always ableist pieces of garbage that would rather their child die slowly and painfully from a preventable disease than live and be autistic.

[vampirevents]

me: *triggers myself on purpose*

me: *relapses*

me:

[unstablemotions]

From the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

[cffeemilk]

i really just fucking wish i was dead and no matter how i say that everyone around me thinks im joking or doesn't care or doesnt take me seriously and i feel so useless for even trying to rely on other people but im so lonely and i dont want to feel like this again and i dont know how to flat out just say "im suicidal and feel like everyone hates me and im more depressed then ive been in years and nothing makes me happy anymore" bc if i say it direcrly like that idk how anyone will react but i just want to know ONE of my friends or family members care but

[cffeemilk]

guess whos back its

depression

[quietvoiced]

[0x00009f]

do you ever feel embarrassed to be in your own skin like please just dont look at me i wish i didnt exist sometimes like i want to disappear because i cannot handle being me 

[cffeemilk]

who wanna fucking die TONIGHT ladies

[illgrowtobeastallasthegiant]

someone, looking at my very obvious self harm scars: woah where did you get those!

me:

[cybrrbunny-deactivated20250304]

me

[ignoredsuggestion]

No one will ever really love me and I deserve that

[traumaseraph]

Fun Trauma Things :)

Feeling betrayed when people defend or sympathize with your abuser(s)

Severe abandonment issues

Constantly questioning if you deserved the abuse

Am I actually a terrible person or am I just internalizing things my abuser(s) have said to me??

Purposefully seeking out toxic relationships to further destroy your mental health

Restoring to destructive coping mechanisms because you never learned how to self-soothe

Having a panic attack when someone raises their voice at you

Constantly reinventing yourself because you’re paranoid about turning into your abuser(s)

Never being completely certain which memories are real

Difficulty creating and maintaining close relationships due to trust issues

Tons of uncertainty regarding your religious identity

What if I’m just faking everything for attention?

Fluctuating between hating yourself and hating your abuser(s)

Hypersexuality and other forms of sexual dysfunction

Craving abuse and mistreatment and despising yourself for it

Denying yourself love and comfort because you want to suffer alone and you don’t even deserve it anyways

Picking up on the slightest change of tone in someone’s voice

Projecting the mentality of your abuser(s) onto everyone you know, because if one person who you’re close with can hurt you, so can every other person too!

Maybe I was the abuser all along? Maybe I’m just being manipulative and selfish and I’m actually a horrible abusive monster??

Minuscule, insignificant things reminding you of The Bad Memories and inducing a mental breakdown

Wishing your abuser(s) had just killed you instead of leaving you alive to suffer for the rest of your life

Dissociating for weeks on end, then suddenly having an explosive meltdown because you spilled your cereal

Feeling angry at everyone around you for never noticing the blatantly obvious symptoms of early-onset trauma

Persistent feelings of worthlessness, because if your abuser(s) don’t love you, it must mean you’re completely unlovable

Connecting the dots between traumatic memories and mental health issues you have while psychoanalyzing yourself in the shower

Inescapable suicidal thoughts at all times, always

[lovenotlogic]

me: (doesn’t directly tell anyone that i am struggling)

me: kinda interesting how nobody is ever there when i need them ://

[delug-e-deactivated20181001]

me vs me 30 seconds later for no reason