cg7076

[haute-thot]

[zorohiyori]

[starshapedpokemon-deactivated20]

[thingsamylikes]

Every conversation with my mother EVER.

[juliuswuzher]

I love you all.

[cg7076]

Fuck you.

[newtxcrank-deactivated20170617]

I see no downside here. On fridays, we wear dicks.

[juliuswuzher]

I’m catching an std real quick

[shrekyourself]

[nnaffettss]

omg the little wiggle 

[juliuswuzher]

Is that a cow?

[lincecutie-blog]

The most hardcore handshake of all time. 

[visaia]

[penutbutterqueen-deactivated201]

I FEEL THIS SHIT TO MY SOUL!!!

[tigerwithasniper]

Reblog if you’re Team Mystic

Reblog here for Team Valor

Reblog here for Team Instinct

Credit

[theflashsgifs]

What was it this time, Mr. Allen? Did you forget to set your alarm clock?

[ureuhito2]

If you don't reblog this, you're heartless.

[thebootydiaries]

This man was born with glass bones and paper skin.  Every morning he breaks his legs, and every afternoon he breaks his arms. At night, he lies awake in agony until his heart attacks put him to sleep.

[leatherwingsinc-deactivated2015]

[caluummhood-deactivated20140506]

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

[jamesjoeboyleeeee-deactivated20]

the first post ever on tumblr

[powerpuffsposts-deactivated2025]

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

[kpopdotexe-blog]

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

[teenyweenynotepad]

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

[flamboynt-deactivated20151220]

I FOUND IT ✊

[addcolortomysky]

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

[blairisbae]

Who first posted this?

[01feb-deactivated20161122]

how do i get over someone who i never dated

[hegodamask]

[fialleril]

Okay but this is literally what he does alone in his room. This is not even an exaggeration.

[finnpoereys]

#this person is cooler than kylo ren will ever be

[kumajuice-deactivated20220110]

I was ringing up a white couples burrito bowls the other day at Chipotle. Their total was $17.38.

I looked at the guy, and asked, “Is this your trap queen?” with a straight face.

 He looked confused as hell, They then looked at the total. They started dying for like 3 - 4 minutes possibly while everybody in line looked confused as fuck.

Good times.

[youarethebloodinmyownveins]

I work at Chipotle and I know for a fact that this is bullshit lmao. The closest your total will be to that is $17.48. I know that for a fact because people always say how it’s only 10 cents off from 1738

[kumajuice-deactivated20220110]

Sigh It’s …it’s barely been 24 HOURS into day 1 of 2016 and bitches already out here wildin’. Why the hell do I have to lie about a fucking total? lmao let me drag you real quick bitch, it’s obvious you’ve never done cash and probably just a tortilla hoe. 

Also, maybe you didn’t know but.. it’s called “SALLLLESSS TAXXXX” and (hear me out on this) It’s different in EAAAAAACH STAAAAATE! Crazy right?? 

Anyways the flat sales tax rate on any tangible food item made for immediate consumption or “fast food” varies zip code to zip code but in the zip code of the chipotle I work at it is 10% Keep that in mind.

Now take a look at this:

These are chipotles flat prices for EVERY entree you want plus the standard sized drink you can get WITH your food, if you work at chipotle like you claim, you’d know that regardless of whether it’s a burrito, bowl, or taco, the total will be the same as above. 

Now let’s do some math:

A Chicken bowl + A Steak bowl + A Small drink = $15.80

15.80 + 10% = ….? 

Here are some screenshots of other people who have shared this experience.

You’re excused bitch. 

[pharaohoftheghetto]

Alex nooooooo

[whaticantremembernow]

First heavy clapback I’ve witnessed in 2016 and i honestly didn’t see it coming.

[volatilequeen]

Laaaawd that was cruial

[okayaqua]

savage

[gotinstarblog-deactivated201512]

[half-black-phillip]

I’m so mad because this worked

[britney2007spears]

help me roger

[telanu]

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

[luthienebonyx]

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

[riskpig]

………my friend has made me curious

[maryburgers]

help me roger

[maryburgers]

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

[zombbeans]

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

[strangenewclassrooms]

I don’t believe in these things

But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job

But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.

Roger is cute.

[sugared-violets]

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

[secondlina]

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

[cinnappo]

Reblogging myself because I reblogged this yesterday and got promoted today!

[mysweetminiaussie]

oh what the hell…lol.

[sherlck-deactivated20140622]

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

[feathery-soul-deactivated201408]

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

[agnosticwitch]

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

[moontideempress]

[vimbia]

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

[jazmynedrakeford]

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

[youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion]

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

[caribe-bby]

Y'all suspect af😂

[dookiediamonds-deactivated20200]

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

[electricocelot]

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police