We're physically and mentally disabled. Im not going to list all my eels and ailments but the most relevant to whatever we might post here are as follows:
audhd, ocd, unidentified tic disorder, several personality disorders, scoliosis + that missing piece of my spine, chronic fatigue, severe anxiety & mild agoraphobia, non traumatic brain damage, cptsd, epilepsy.
We also suffer from joint instability and severe chronic pain. For both psychological and physical reasons, we're not capable of living independently at the moment.
Below the line is our sysboxes, other info, dni and linked alter intros:
-> Ambulatory cane/rollator user (Chronic illness, joint instability and chronic pain/fatigue) Would probably be better using a wheelchair but we don't live a very ada compliant life.
-> Ive been in therapy for almost 15 years and live off social security income due to my disabilities and difficulties accessing accommodation. We've worked several jobs over the years, but find it overall inconducive to our mental health and physical well being.
-> This blog is functioning as a safe space and system communication tool and will probably contain a lot of private posts. Some alters may only/mostly post privately (as such, there will be long stretches with no posts).
-> While medically recognized as a system we dont intend to seek a formal diagnosis due to prospective career and immigration issues. If that upsets you please find the door. I dont need a diagnosis to live my life, i have plenty of other reasons to get on government aid.
-> Our system count is constantly fluctuating and consists of mostly fragments and about 20-30~ full parts at any given time. Please dont ask what happened if a alters intro dissappears or they stop posting </3
-> Parts may choose to use identifying tags when they post, but arent pressured to.
-> if an alters intro doesnt include something, its personal choice or lack of information, take it or leave it.
-> On topic with the last two points, expect lots of "ghost posting" in a literal and non literal sense both about alters and out of context life shit.
-> Asks directed at any parts are okay as long as they've added their intro to the bottom of this post and youre not poking around for triggers and shit. All asks will be answered at that alters discretion. Otherwise feel free to ask any general questions regarding our system, disabilities, or experiences.
-> We really dont use apps to track fronting, just to keep a running list of alters. We use octocon now but used simply plural for more than three and a half years. Too many switches go unregistered even if we try to log them all, only really try for short term data to show my therapist.
-> header and top image credit. Pfp credit unknown.
Colorscripting and illustration
Dni:
Endos, Terfs, all flavors of radfem actually, transmeds, all the phobes, neopronoun antis, he/him lesbian deniers, transandrophobia deniers, zionists, ableists, racists, bigots, maps, anti regressor, anti recov irls, anti furry/therian/otherkin ect, Choco(yes you, ya obsessed little maniac.)
Just dont be a dick yk. Idc if you like Harry Potter or Hazbin or whatever the current problematic media is just keep the creepy nasty shit to yourself.
Also im NOT getting involved in shipping discourse its far too nuanced to not leave way to many important things unsaid.
Syscourse takes:
-> nobody is entitled to a systems full alter list, history of trauma, or dx status. All of that is voluntary information that should only be shared after genuine thought and consideration. And in some cases, conversations with medical professionals or trusted family members, when it comes to MINORS sharing SENSITIVE MEDICAL INFORMATION while in vulnerable emotional states.
-> sharing your sp publicly without proper safety features and privacy set up in your account can be so dangerous and I not so secretly think youre dumb if you do so. I mean fr if I type in your little code and a day later I can see every terrible thing thats happened to you documented in your alter profiles I will shit bricks.
A thing that absolutely pisses me off when people are talking about DID as a whole is how many people think that people are faking if their switches aren't super dramatic and noticeable.
I'm not saying that they can't be, but more often than not it's so subtle no one would notice! That is kind of the point of the disorder, guys! To HIDE! It's typically very covert!
I'm not about to sit here and black out every single time then hit you with a "Wh-what? Where am I? WHO ARE YOU?!"
Chances are, you will never know the difference.
(I will repeat that your switches can and may always be super obvious and overt, and there isn't anything wrong with that, either! The brain is a strange thing that works different for everyone.)
yeah, like probably 90% of our switches are covert/non-possessive. Even our possessive switches are only obvious to us now bc we have been sitting in our noticing for months to try to work out what symptoms we have, to what extent, and what we can do to help them. The only time our wife can really tell if we switch are the switches that change where we speak from, and therefore, deepen our voice.
Syscringe constantly complains about “trauma olympics” but I feel like they also feed into it.
The ICD states that “Dissociative Identity Disorder is commonly associated with serious or chronic traumatic life events, including physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.”
I constantly see people on syscringe saying that DID comes from “the worst types of abuse possible”. They rarely even mention the “chronic traumatic life events” side of it.
It doesn’t have to be trauma that involves being locked and chained in the basement with no light for hours on end, it can be as simple as lots of emotional attacks day after day after day. Just as long as the child has the coping mechanism of dissociation already, if what they experience is severe or chronic then they can form DID.
If your parents constantly yell at you for not doing chores, and it’s to the point that you were dissociating from it, then it is valid trauma. Trauma is the response to an event, and doesn’t always correlate to how “bad” the event was. But also who the fuck is making a <9 year old child wash dishes and do chores regularly…? Edit: I had myself confused on the definition of chores - chores can be started as young ass 2-3 and can be as simple as cleaning up after playing, so yeah unless a kid is being forced to do it and being yelled at whenever they are told to do chores, there isn’t much reason starting chores that early should be traumatic.
Not to mention that a child has less coping mechanisms than an adult does, so stuff that might be seen as “not that bad” to an adult can actually be very traumatic to a child.
I just feel like this is information that should exist on this side of the internet.
"Some people who daydream for hours at a time create inner characters within their mind, this type of dissociation is known as Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD) when it becomes problematic, or immersive daydreaming when it is not problematic.
Groups of inner characters based on fictional sources and/or based on real people/idealized versions of real people are particuarly common in MD. MD is far less recognized than DID and OSDD, this has led to some maladaptive daydreamers to confuse their inner characters with alters, and because alters are unique to DID and OSDD1b, this has caused some people to incorrectly self-diagnose DID or OSDD-1b instead of MD.
Maladaptive daydreaming is a behavioral addiction which was first recognized as a probable mental disorder in 2002, by DID specialist Eli Somer. ADHD is extremely common in people with MD, and ADHD's memory problems that can be mistaken for amnesia."
Shoutout to systems with dsmp introjects that split during your dsmp phase and now youre upset and a little embarrassed and perhaps a teensy bit afraid to show your face anywhere if youre a certain dsmp introject bc of how that shitshow ended
not only is the evil alter trope stupid and bad but it also just doesn't come close to capturing the true horrific realities of being a system, such as one of your headmates being a swiftie
DID and OSDD are not self diagnosable. You could go over the entire DSM-V and you still would not have the tools or knowledge to assess yourself for such disorders.
diagnosis starts with self diagnosis im fucking sick of kids thinking this shit. people arent fuckings tupid with their symptoms, theyre able to know them by themselves.
Now I don't know what fuck ball of a world you're on but no. A clinical diagnosis does not purely start with self diagnosis, let me make that very clear to you.
People are stupid in general, and you can also get symptoms wrong, don't forget that! You can never be 100% positive you have one single disorder.
“Diagnosis starts with self diagnosis” No, it starts with self suspecting, VERY different things we’re talking about here lmao
Self suspecting is simply recognizing that there’s something going on with you and maybe gathering a little info to try to gauge what could be wrong. Self diagnosis is finding a disorder online that you think fits you, and then deciding that’s 100% what you have and ignoring all other possibilities.
Op self diagnosis is in no way disregarding every other possibility wtf, its giving yourself some sort of closure when you're either unable to access or neglected by the medical system. It's giving yourself a basis for self treatment, and the possibility to improve your quality of life.
Acting like it's impossible to do proper research and reach a decently stable hypothesis when you're not a fully studied medical professional is actually wild an incredibly ableist. It also implies that mentally ill or disabled people do not have the required intelligence to do their due diligence and research of their disorder.
Disabled people actively contribute to medical knowledge every day, in incredibly significant ways.
And sure, nobody can technically diagnose themselves because that's something only a medical provider can do, but that's why it's a self diagnosis and not a medical/clinical diagnosis.
I am self diagnosed and I am being treated by medical professionals. But those medical professionals will not give me a diagnosis because I will not accept one. So I will continue to be self diagnosed.
My diagnosis status does not invalidate my condition or my perception of the symptoms I experience.
threatening to become the "evil alter" is prob my fav hobby. you ate my sandwich??? im becoming the evil alter. got cut off in traffic? i'm the evil alter now. this guy on the street looked at us funny? guess what, evil alter baybeeeee.
yo if ppl in ur life r also systems and theyve only just rlly found that out and r working on therapy methods
DO NOT
and i mean SERIOUSLY DONT
tell them to use the method where u close ur eyes and let parts come forward and write down thoughts and communicate
i remember being urged to do it and completely breaking down
like its so absurdly unsafe and can further unbalance an already uprooted system (discovering ur system and such already puts u at risk of unbalancing things)
its so fucking stupid to immediately urge someone to do smth to force communication and can TERRIFY parts
like our old host broke when we were urged to do that
and the person acted like it was amazing "look u can see a caretaker trying to calm u down"
YEAH NO SHIT I WAS HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AT ALL THE SUDDEN VOICES AND LOSING COMPLETE CONTROL????
jfc
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