My experience with demons and what Iâve learned
Started working with Bilial here in this past month. I used to think he hated me, which I thought was a valid mentally due to him attempting to posses me multiple times. But now that Iâve matured spiritually, I realize why he didnât particularly like me.
I was working with Asmodeus a lot back then for reasons that were childish and not thought out at all. I wanted him to help me with a relationship that was one sided. I was heartbroken at the time and I was angery. The mentality that came from this was toxic and really twisted my mindset into something sour without me realizing it. Asmodeus knew that and got me to realize that I needed to focus on my self and my own spirituality before I should even be thinking about getting him to help me with that. His influences were subtle and he would regularly tell me that I need to be who I really am. He got me to come out as trans masc to my family and friends and Iâm the most confident with myself now more than ever. I know who I am inside and out thanks to him, and I continue to learn more everyday. Asmodeus knew my original intentions for working with him werenât healthy, but he never told me that directly because he wanted me to learn for myself. But he keeps his word on the deal we made sense the first day I contacted him. His promise to me was that he would sway the person who I wanted to form a romantic relationship with into situations that would favor what I wanted. He even pushed them away from other suitors. His only condition was that I focus on my spirituality and educate myself on the world and how it works. I did this, and that path lead me to realize what I was doing was wrong. Asmodeus taught me this lesson, fully knowing that I would never end up with the results I wanted. This person who I was so focused on was toxic in so many aspects. I basically worshiped the ground they walked on, and I can now see the error in my ways. It was unhealthy and this person didnât respect me in the slightest. I am left no with trauma about this situation, but I do not blame Asmodeus for this. I blame myself for buying into an idol who wanted nothing to do with me and humored me out of putty, and I blame this idol for allowing me to do so and continuing to feed me with the idea that it could ever be possible to be in a relationship with them.
While I was still deep in this obsession, my partnership with Asmodeus caught the attention of another demon. Belial contacted me while I was using a Ouija board with a friend of mine. His intentions were negative and he outright told me that what I was doing was wrong. Working with Asmodeus for the reasons I was that is. He never told me why, and I realize now that he was trying to push me in the direction of becomeing inligenes about that. At the time, I was not afraid of him. I have learned that there is nothing to fear when working with any spirit. I respect the power that they have, especially demons who are as powerful and Belial and Asmodeus. I treat everything with respect, not hatred or fear, because it allows a bond to form between both myself and what I am working with. I highly recommend this mindset when communing with anyone. This mindset doesnât protect you from their influence completely though. Belial strongly disliked me for what I was doing, and the room was ice cold. Both me and my friend could feel it. She didnât feel his energy the same way I did, as his hate was directed at me and not her primarily. I was wearing an amythyst necklace to serve as protection while using the Ouija board, as I do when working with anything that is unknown to me. It broke while mid-conversation, and Belial told me that he was the one who did it. After that moment, his energy became overwhelming and surrounded me. I began feeling sick and my head started to pound. My surroundings became hazy and I was on the verge of passing out. This was not an instantaneous experience, it was progressing as the session continued. My will was strong enough to hold him back from taking a full hold on me, and I also have Asmodeus to thank for warding Belial off in the end. Once Asmodeus entree the space. My friend and I could feel it. It was protective and comforting while still filled with power, and it is the energy I associate with him primarily, especially in situations like this. Belial backed away and we ended the session not long after. In the following week, I experienced symptoms of possession while never becoming fully possessed myself. Having Belial overshadowing me with his hatred towards my actions while still being ignorant to my errors was a troublesome time in my life. It did get me to start to think of why he would feel this way though. Though he was harmful to me at the time, I feel that he was trying to help in a strange display of affection similar to the type of people who pick of the people they love. I do the same thing, so this was a realization that has come quickly to me while writing this, coincidentally enough. As I pondered why he didnât like my actions, I realized the reason he was so upset with me. I didnât take this realization seriously due to being foolish enough to think that my goal surpassed the wrongness that came with trying to control the feelings of another person. I continued down my path untill I could no longer convince myself of any hope for my goal coming to fruition.
After I became knowledgeable over my actions and fully realized the gravity of the situation, I opened my eyes to the world and myself. I have learned that the world has beauty in it and that everything around me is part of the same living breathing organism. But Iâm not here to talk about that philosophy haha. The point is, once I opened my mind, Belial contacted me once again. His energy was sharp like before, but not in a negative way. He told me bluntly that he wanted to be my patron demon. I was shocked at the time, and had always thought Asmodeus to be my patron demon. I still have a very close connection to Asmodeus, but he has convinced me that this is the way things need to be. I am new to working with Belial, but over the corse of the last half a year, I have received many signs that Belial is persistent in wanting to work with me. I have matured spiritually, and he feels that he can finally converse with me in a way that doesnât make him annoyed. I have never felt a negative presence about him like I had before, and I have learned much about things under his teachings.
I wanted to post this for people who are working with deities, more specifically goetic demons, are worth the struggle. It changes depending from person to person based on the spiritual journey they are meant to go on. Sometimes, you will end up feeling that your original goal is not being fulfilled and it will make you feel that there is no point in working with them. That itâs not worth the time if you arenât getting results. I want people to know that they need to be open to change and that adapting to what the universe wants to teach you. Itâs for the greater good, even when you doubt yourself and who you work with. Deities know what they are doing, and are only trying to help you grow. There will always be struggles, but taking the time to think is what opens your eyes.
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
