reminder bc y’all are stupid as hell❤️
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if i look back, i am lost

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@kyrfiore
reminder bc y’all are stupid as hell❤️
things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:
the city of los angeles
the city of new york
sex
how drinking alcohol works
how getting high works
how a child of any age speaks
how nuclear physics work
how [my job] works
how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is
how hypothermia works
things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:
what french toast is
read through the notes on this one trust me
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
hatberry model
I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide
ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):
ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").
Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.
please
Archery x flower arranging
This was actually really fun!
Anyway, don’t forget I’m still raising money to test a bunch of things in a suit of armour:
Blumineck is trying to fun a video series doing fun and serious historical and fantasy testing in fitted plate armour.
knot talk
a prelude to all of this⁓
have you ever had a beef with a teacher/prof
yes
no
hard to say
results
are those my only options
disco elysium dialogue tree
You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.
I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.
Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.
holy shit this person in the notes
It's happening again, so just to remind everyone:
TUMBLR ADS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO AUTO-PLAY AUDIO! THAT IS A BUG AND YOU SHOULD REPORT IT!
"This ad is auto-playing audio" is literally on the drop down menu for reporting an ad. Tumblr isn't trying to implement this! Don't protest this "new policy", cause it's not one.
Report the broken ads.
Thank you.
They are not supposed to automatically redirect you without you clicking them, they are not supposed to cause a pop-up, they are not supposed to freeze your screen.
This is all bugs or malicious advertising which is also against tumblers ad policy. You should report all ads which do this.
Let’s get rid of those horrible monopoly ads, together.
If you haven't lived around a specific type of Mexican or Italian or other generationally Catholic community I have no idea how to explain to people who haven't seen it like... Yes many of my peers are Catholic. No they are not Catholic. No I mean like they're VERY Catholic. No they're not even a LITTLE bit Catholic. Yes they do Catholic things. No they don't do any Catholic things. They're debilitatingly Catholic, yes. No, I don't think anyone could reasonably call them Catholic
"No I don't believe in God, no I don't believe in Heaven or Hell, that's ridiculous. I have no time for any of that. Church? On a Sunday? I get two days off a week and you want me to spend one of those days in a stuffy building and give away the money I spent five days earning? Ridiculous. Now please shut up so I can pray to the Virgin to give me the strength to not kill my coworker as well as to St. Cabrini so I can find a good parking spot behind the CVS tonight"
goes to the kitchen. holds a knife in my hand for a while. puts it back. goes back to my room
Dude
what? what? what do you want daddy kink 33?
looking to partake in some fag shit this summer
i fucking love ryan gosling for saying this. he gets that if a movie hits like crack and gives us something ‘more’, the certain something beyond market value, we will naturally go full barbenheimer on our local theaters.