i was waiting for some miracle to occur, some magic wand, or some overnight lottery to fall at my door step, maybe i was expecting a fairy godmother to reach me, i just simply was not willing to accept the fate that was given to me. i still thought that maybe some magic 🪄, is going to happen and I'll meet a handsome young prince, and i will hand myself to him, and he would wash all my worries. despite being a top bitch , and the number one hated girl in my academic life , showing the world what a true femme fatale is, i was weak and desperate from inside, there was a unfilled void inside of me, that i tried to hied , for a longer period of time. people always thought my kindness had some ulterior motives but they never were able to see the wars i fought , maybe no one ever dared to see my own personal wars, because i guess everyone needed a reason to be my personal best enemy, with a oh so perfect boyfriend along my side, everything should have been sweet , but i guess i never got a perfect man.
what was a perfect man to me? was he supposed to be unreal and gorgeous man ? or was he super rich guy with fancy lifestyle? or is he the guy who knows how to fight? well all i ever wanted was, unconditional love.
and i am dissapointed,and hopeless, after realizing how men find love through counting moles on my body and how they desire to just simply see me naked. i genuinely wont disagree that i played along such men for a long time, because i felt wanted in that way.
not wanted in a way i dreamed to be craved,
but yea wanted for the fulfilment of their desires.
i was getting hurt , but no one taught me to show vulnerability or my emotions, so when i never respected my emotions, no one ever did.
i just am a loyal girl for the right guy
and i will find my right guy.
gummygunk
dailybridgerton
stormborns
annaxmalina
turnnoffyourmind